HOW-TO GUIDE: THE ONE ON ONE

1:1 meetings are a staple at many startups, and something we recommend to all of the Farside and Squadley community. Why? Easy — 1:1s are the best way to ensure high team alignment, prevent issues and allow for open communication between managers and employees. They’re also a great way to move towards a coaching style of management, something we are big believers in. You’ve seen time and time again in film — there’s always one character that knows how to bring out greatness in others. Here’s our breakdown of how to have super productive 1:1s and bring out that greatness, with a little help from some classic movie mentors.

What is a 1:1?

A 1:1 is a devoted space on the calendar for anticipated conversations between a manager and an employee. This dedicated time allows for a regular cadence of purposeful conversations between teammates and leaders. It also allows managers to move away from a more directive leadership style, and work more collaboratively with their people.

There is more to being a king…

“There is more to being a king than just getting your way all the time.” Mufasa, The Lion King

Before I knew much about being a manager, I thought it looked easy. You assemble a team of people, and get them to do all your work for you, right? Not quite. Maybe that’s just how it looked in the movies. You know, the manager always had a huge office, a big desk and a killer golf game. But, just like Mufasa’s explanation of a King’s responsibility to all the creatures in the kingdom, a manager has to serve their people in the same way.

Gone is the time of the dictatorial “boss” who tells you what to do, and frankly, doesn’t care how you feel about it. Today’s boss recognizes the need for empowerment and engagement. Today’s boss knows their primary job as a manager is to serve you and your teammates — to give you the resources you need to do your best work, so that you can help the company succeed in its mission.

So how does one make the switch to a “servant leadership” style? How do you become the true benevolent king, there only to serve the people? By seeing yourself less as a manager, and more as a coach.

The coaching mindset

Coaching is a deliberate process using focused conversations to create an environment for individual growth, purposeful action, and sustained improvement. Like the classic movie mentors we are drawing upon for this article, you take on a role that focuses on growing and developing your people.

Free your mind

“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.” Morpheus, The Matrix

As a coach you take on a role of a thinking partner. You’re there to see the world in a new way, reframe a situation, and draw your people out. You become a teacher and advisor, someone who is trusted to give honest and helpful feedback. You are in their corner, on their side, on their team.

The question is the answer

“You’ve always had the power” Glinda, The Wizard of Oz

So how does someone start coaching? By turning your 1:1 meetings into purposeful conversations, guided by asking powerful questions. The truth is, your employees probably already have all the information they need, they might just need you to pull it out of them. By asking directed and open-ended questions, you could uncover your team’s true potential. More than that, your people are more likely to feel empowered and engaged in their work. By having these types of conversations weekly the lines of communication are open, and feedback begins flowing both ways. But what kinds of questions should you be asking? Well — don’t worry. We’ve provided our 1:1 structure and prompts here, so you know what to ask, and why to ask it.

Three act structure to a 1:1

We like to think a 1:1 can be divided into three “acts”:

Act 1. Check-in

Act 2. Feedback

Act 3. Future

That’s not to say you need to spend equal time in each section. If you are working with a new employee or someone is having a tough time, you might spend a lot of your 1:1 in Act 1: Check-in. If a project just completed or something went poorly, you may be inclined to spend a lot of time on Act 2: Feedback. And if you are at your quarterly goal planning time or review, you will need to spend a fair bit of 1:1 time on Act 3: Future.

Act 1: Check-in

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and — SNAP — the job’s a game!” Mary Poppins

The check-in is a chance to build connection, allow for free sharing, and just check general team health. It’s about how the person is doing, how the work is going, and any surface issues that need to be addressed. Our first prompt might seem the most obvious (how are you), but can be the most powerful way to show your genuine interest in the person’s wellbeing, progress and career.

• How are you?
• What is on your mind?
• How are you feeling?
• In general, what is working?
• What are your priorities for the next week?
• How are you managing your priorities?
• How are your MG’s going?
• Are there any potential challenges or roadblocks?
• Are you using your abilities?
• Is the work you are doing fulfilling?
• What are you most excited about?
• What are you most worried about?
• What help, if any, do you need from me?

Act 2: Feedback

“Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn’t mean they’re lost forever. Sometimes, we all need a little help.” Professor X, X-Men Days of Future Past

Giving feedback is often the most stressful part of a manger’s job. Why? Well, we often fear the reaction of the individual and don’t know how to offer constructive and lesson-based remarks. Our SBI model removes the ambiguity in how to frame feedback, and we also provide a few steps on how to verbally deliver it.

S Describe the specific situation.

B What was the behavior you observed?

I What was the impact of the employee’s behavior in that situation?

Once you figured out the SBI, the hard part comes with delivering the feedback. Use these four steps to deliver feedback effectively. Steps 3 and 4 are often skipped, but create the kind of relationship where you are working with your team instead of against. Our goal is to see people through, not see through people.

1. Set the context
2. Identify the SBI
3. Ask for reactions
4. Agree on changes in behavior or action

As a coach you can also facilitate feedback in a self-reflective way. Using these prompts can allow your team to look at their own performance and progress.

• What were you trying to achieve?
• Why did you do it that way?
• What went well?
• What could have been better?
• What needs to change?
• Any lessons learned? Or relearned?

Act 3: Future

“You have to fall in love with your work…You must dedicate your life to mastering your skill. That’s the secret of success… and is the key to being regarded honorably.” Jiro Ono, Jiro Dreams of Sushi

We know that of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. It’s why we believe so strongly in our OMG system. Using your 1:1s to align on these OMGs, as well as career and personal goals, is a great way to stay motivated and engaged in our work.

• Have we set the right objectives?
• Are the MGs (still) going to help us achieve our objectives?
• What are your values, what is important to you?
• What are your plans?
• How do we make things better?
• What are you going to achieve?
• What are your options?
• What are the risks?
• What are your career goals? (short-term, long-term)
• What could enhance or enrich your role?
• How can you accelerate your performance or development?
• Do you wish you could contribute in a different way?
• What can I do to help you achieve your goals (career, MGs)?

Make it easy: Use Squadley

The barrier to entry with proven methods like 1:1s are rarely the value, but instead the infrastructure. Make sure 1:1s become a part of the company culture, an embedded and essential element in the manager-employee relationship. This is best achieved by providing the tools to make sure these effective 1:1s can actually happen, and happen in a meaningful way. Squadley allows managers and employees to have 1:1s, track progress and alignment, refer to previous conversations or notes, and address career goals. Try it out with your squad today!

Do 1:1 conversations happen at your company? Tell us all about it in the comments!

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