The Reluctant Wisher

and his unusual wish

“Right here, direct from the lamp! I am the all-powerful genie, here for your wish fulfillment! Your wish is my command, master! Or whatever…” The green, foggy giant emerged from the lamp, his tone decidedly unenthusiastic.

“A genie? A green genie? Aren’t you supposed to be blue?” I stammered, still in disbelief, wondering if I was dreaming. I never should have hit that sketchy weed. Now I’m hallucinating a freaking genie.

“What? Are you for real? Out of all the things you could ask, the first thing is why I’m not blue. Racist much?” the genie replied, a displeased look on his face.

Well, all the genies I have ever seen on television are blue. I did not know they came in all colors and shapes. Damn you Disney, for being so non-inclusive. Do the genies come in other colors as well? How terrifying would a giant red genie look? I wonder if there are any lady genies or are genies gender-neutral? …

“Well kid, you know the drill. You have three wishes. The sooner you wish them, the sooner I can fulfill them, and the sooner I can go back into my lamp and take a nap for another couple of centuries. So, chop chop, get to wishing.” the genie urged, pulling me from my thoughts.

“So, can I wish for absolutely anything?” I asked trying not to show too much excitement.

“Pretty much yeah! Except, don’t be a smartass and wish for more wishes. I am not stupid,” clarified the genie.

Well, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I can turn around my life with these three wishes. I can finally have everything I have ever dreamed of. Wealth beyond my wildest dreams, knowledge beyond the comprehension of the entire humanity, abilities that can even put the gods to shame… the possibilities were endless. But I didn’t want to waste them.

But I do not want to use my wishes without weighing all the options. I only got three wishes after all.

“That’s something to think about, then. Having watched a bunch of movies and read a bunch of books, I gotta ask, is there a catch to this? Like, if I wish to live forever, you make me immortal but I still age and live a miserable life for eternity. Is this that kind of a thing?” I doubtfully asked the genie.

“Hahaha, you are funny, kid!” the genie burst into laughter and continued, “There is no catch. Whatever you wish for, I will grant you the best possible outcome. Now, stop thinking and start wishing.”

Hmm… There’s a magical genie in front of me and he is offering me three wishes. And I am still not sure if I am actually seeing a genie or if I am just high. But on the off-chance that this is all real, I got to give my best shot at these wishes, don’t I?

So, I asked the genie — “ Can I have some time to think about it? I can’t risk wasting my wishes for something stupid or insignificant. I need to take some time and think over this.”

“Alright, take your time. But once you’ve made your mind up, you have to wish all three in a row. No extra time. I’m really getting tired of all this thinking,” the genie grumbled before vanishing back into the lamp.

So, I began to contemplate… What should I wish for? It’s gotta be easy, right? I know what I want.

Maybe…, Omniscience? I will be the “All-Knowing”, never to be unsure of anything anymore. No more second-guessing anything because I will know everything. Wouldn’t that be handy?

But then, I will know what everyone thinks of me. I will know what my ‘friends’ talk behind me. Before I can try something, I will know if it is going to be any good. Before I love someone I will know how it’s going to end. So, what’s the point? Do I really want to take the learning out of my life? Do I really want to take the mystery out of my life, more specifically the joy of uncovering a mystery?

“Well, no one likes a ‘Know-it-all’…”

Maybe…, Immortality? I will live forever. I won’t have to fear the inevitable, the one truth, the one certainty, Death herself. I will be the first and only being that ever escaped the cold grip of Death. An eternal life, a life without consequences, a life with no regrets, a life with as many do-overs as I want, a life full of endless possibilities to explore…

But on second thought, I’ve only been alive for twenty-three years and I am already fed up with life. Imagine the weight of endless experiences and memories straining my brain. Imagine the infinite list of people I would hurt on the way. Imagine the endless list of people I loved but lost to time. It won’t be long till I eventually become indifferent to anything and everything.

“Nope! Don’t wanna live forever.”

Maybe…, World Peace? For once, I will do something selfless. No wars. No violence. No unnecessary pain. No nuclear arms. No discrimination based on gender, race, language, region, and whatnot. The world will be a Utopia and I will be the one who made it happen. I will be the savior of the world (of course for selfless reasons).

But then, World Peace means everyone conforms to the same set of ideologies, the same set of values, the same set of rules, and the same set of morals. The world will be a boring place. No diversity, No conflicts, No Necessities, No innovation… How boring will that be? Conflict is more essential to the world than we give it credit for, after all.

“Think again, Sherlock.”

Maybe…, True Love? Something so simple, yet so meaningful. I will always have someone who I can trust, who I can talk to, who I can confide in, who loves me unconditionally, with whom I can share my happiness and sorrows alike… Isn’t it wonderful?

But on second thought, With someone loving me unconditionally, I may become complacent. I may stop trying. I may stop striving for personal growth. If I attain ultimate happiness in the form of true love, I may never feel that way in any other relationship I have or will ever have. Or worse yet, I may feel undeserving of unconditional true love altogether.

“Err… Try again.”

Maybe…, Super Powers? — No I’d just be a freak and most probably will end up in a lab for a life of pain and torture being experimented upon by crazy scientists trying to understand my ‘freakiness’ in the name of science.

Ughhh… Why is this so hard? For the love of god, I am not able to figure out what I want. Do I not know what I want? A genie offered me three wishes, I can wish for literally anything, ANYTHING.

Time travel? — Too paradoxical, Spotlight? — Too exhausting, Perfect memory? — Don’t want to remember all the awful things that will ever happen, Telepathy? No thanks; I’d rather not dive into others’ thoughts…

As I thought over and over again, it hit me… I know what I want. I finally know what to wish for.

“Here is my first wish…”, I declared, “I wish to be freed from the burdens of my overthinking, allowing me to fully experience the joy and beauty of life, without second-guessing everything, without denying happiness before even experiencing it.”

“Strange wish, but who am I to judge? Granted!” the genie said, fulfilling my request in the blink of an eye.

I can feel the difference. Something’s changed. It was as if a heavy boulder had been lifted off my shoulders. Everything felt clear — like water in a fresh lake, as bright as the morning sun, as fresh as the autumn breeze. I finally feel happy, not second-guessing how long this happiness will last. Just happy, truly happy.

“Now, it’s time for your remaining two wishes,” the genie reminded me.

“I wish for a boatload of money and I wish Taylor Swift never makes music again (sorry Swifties).”, I quickly blurted out my other two wishes without thinking twice.