Change Takes Time So Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

Personal growth is a life-long journey.

Zada Kent
Fat and Sassy Life
4 min readJan 13, 2021

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Unfortunately, our lives are not like do-it-yourself tv shows.

We can’t overhaul our living rooms in 24-hours from drab to fabulous.

So why do we think we can make such significant changes to our entire lives in the same ridiculous amount of time?

Permanent change is never quick. Whether it’s implementing new good-for-us habits or trying to kick old ones to the curb, it all takes effort and time.

It’s impossible to achieve our happiest lives — or even just yearly goals — with such impossible expectations for ourselves.

Life is multi-faceted and much more complex than that.

Many new year goals fizzle to a shadow of what we originally dreamed or intended. But, with determination, we can make this year different.

Let’s be done writing down our goals and staring at them every morning before getting to work as if that reminder is all we need to achieve greatness.

Habits

Failing to implement habits that will ultimately structure the journey toward success will keep us from our goals.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. — popular quote arguably attributed to Albert Einstein

Habits are simply our actions on auto-pilot. Good or bad, they are the things we do without truly considering whether or not they are helping guide us in the direction we desire for our lives.

Daydreaming about what we want for ourselves is nice but it doesn’t help us achieve anything. Setting up specific habits to help propel us toward our goals will set us up for success.

New Morning Habit

Looking at our phones the moment we awake puts our minds into a reactionary mode. So we need to stop doing that. Rather, we need to purposefully choose an activity that will be our new morning habit. Something that starts our brains on an actionable tract.

Making our beds in the morning will set our minds up for accomplishment. It will start our days with unpolluted minds focused on performance because our intentions are clear.

We will no longer choose to be a consumer the moment we awake. We choose to be producers — creators of action toward our goals and desires.

In order to be a creative producer of work instead of simply a consumer of social media, we need to avoid checking our phones’ notifications first thing in the morning.

Mistakes

We need to stop allowing mistakes to rob us of our success. As human beings, we are all flawed. We will all make mistakes throughout our lives.

If we pick ourselves back up and try again, then it is no longer a mistake, but a learning opportunity toward success. It’s only a mistake if we give up and wallow in our grief and frustration because that’s when our progress toward our goals stops.

Impatience can convince us we aren’t making progress quickly enough. Don’t allow the instant-gratification-world we live in trick you like that though. The speed and convenience we’re surrounded by each day can distort our expectations for personal growth.

Change takes time. Don’t give up.

Quitting because you don’t want to be uncomfortable will prevent you from growing. — Amy Morin

When We Stumble

Many creatives — myself included — are hard on themselves when they feel they’ve fallen short or failed at something. But we need to stop reacting this way.

Our frustration only feeds our impatience which can be detrimental to our success. Mistakes do not equate to failure. But giving up on ourselves and quitting does.

We need to change our inner dialogue. When those negative feelings arise, we need to speak aloud as if we’re encouraging a defeated eight-year-old — someone who wouldn’t know any better, someone who needs guidance rather than ridicule. We must all learn to be better cheerleaders for ourselves.

I have several personal goals for this year. All of them will be achieved by implementing habits into my daily routine.

If we keep doing what we’re doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting. — Stephen Covey

If we want better lives, we need to stop repeating the habits we already have and focus on implementing new ones that reflect the growth we desire. Only then can we achieve our goals.

Life changes don’t work at the flip of a switch.

One could argue that deciding to make a change in your life for the better takes a single moment. But achieving success with that decision will take much more time.

Keep in touch.

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Zada Kent
Fat and Sassy Life

Trans Advocate | Writer of LGBTQ & Parenting | Author of Horror Short Stories. www.ZadaKent.com | IG: zadakent