Fat. So?
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Fat. So?

Reclaiming my big, fat dreams!

I am a dreamer, and I day dream… a lot. I would say, in fact, most of my waking moments that aren’t occupied with the real living stuff are spent dreaming. Ok. I am going to make a confession … one of the reasons I actually enjoy listening to podcasts and other online courses that are learning oriented is because they make these day dreams more interesting. I know it sounds crazy, but once I’ve been able to apply these new skills in daring, dastardly, bold situations in my dreams I find they start becoming easy to apply to my daily life as well.

Some of these dreams mean a lot to me when I dream them. I hold them for a while, wish upon stars for them. And at some point I let them go when they are much too frustrating to hold on to. Sometimes when I dream them, there is not even a horizon in sight, I feel that far away from them.

In this last fortnight, I have seen three of these dreams coming true. And the beauty is that I remembered they were dreams I had let go — that’s how far away their becoming a reality felt.

The first dream come true moment was on the 29th May, two Saturdays ago when Ameya and I completed our first workshop on “Dealing with the World” for fatsos. The energy as our participants said goodbye was electric, we had heard each one of them shift into more power when it came to defining strategies to cope with situations that would impact their mental health. I remembered how, in 2014, as I posted my first post on Instagram with the hashtag #effyourbeautystandards, I was terrified. I was all alone but I was determined AF. And in my head the dream was a community of women who own their bodies, own their space and have learnt to navigate the world of fat phobia and concern trolls (words that I was still to learn but had meaning in context to my lived experience). I remembered the sensation of euphoria and completion that I had felt when I was dreaming this. I felt exactly that at the end of the workshop!

Dream number two: in 2013, I had a day dream where I was the creator of a product that helped employees connect their daily productivity with the contribution to the organization and their own rewards. The dream was inspired by a study I had read on employee engagement and my newly found fascination for applied neuroleadership. I really wanted a system that made the employee feel seen and valued, that was kind and fair unlike the stress caused by the systems of the day, and supported the organization’s objectives of growth and success. As I went through the team self assessment presentations with the client I have developed this for; I realised that my proof of concept was right here in front of me. As every discussion ended with a smile, I knew my creation was out of my head and in the real world. I was left breathless and giddy with joy at the end of the day — just this Tuesday, 8th June.

And the most recent moment of exhilaration of a dream having come true was yesterday. I launched social media communications about my having become a Lifebook Leader and being able to offer the Lifebook Premium program, starting 30th June 2021. I have said this often, that for the longest time I was waiting to lose weight to live my dreams. When that layer of the onion was peeled off, I walked out of my life and started a new more empowered one — divorced, single, with a career that was more business and leadership oriented than corporate and HR oriented. But in 2019, I once again found myself unhappy. I felt I had given up on my dreams of a better life, and I did not know how to reclaim them. I was 40, still single, had no income and no idea what to do; I had also in one moment lost my whole tribe — the people I had considered family for almost 3 years. All of them turned away as I was asked to leave the company I was working for, which was a big reason I was in touch with them.

I was hurting and devastated but determined to back myself up. And that’s where the Lifebook program with Jon and Missy Butcher entered. As I heard them talk about designing my ultimate life in 12 categories, as I heard them talk about building a community of self-directed people who trusted their own gut, I knew I wanted in. And I knew not only did I want in for myself to transform my own life, but I wanted in for all the women and men who are outliers in one way or another—and know they want to be and do more — but somewhere their dreams have lost a little sheen.

And so I invested in myself by joining the Lifebook Online program and the insights were phenomenal — as I wrote my purpose, premise (beliefs), vision and strategy in each category, over 6 weeks I developed a 100 page written document with not just dreams and aspirations that were completely personal and customised to me, but I also discovered strategies to make them happen and life changed. I went on to do the Lifebook Mastery Bootcamp — setting up my goals and daily habits and tracking them. I became part of an accountability group — we have met for 75 weeks — learning together, inspiring each other, and actually hitting targets week upon week. I started to feel alive again — the podcast happened, I started dating again, I started earning an income doing work I loved, so much changed!

And now, now I am a Lifebook Leader — one of 300 that were chosen out of 60,000 Lifebookers in 157 countries. I feel so privileged to have this program in my hands. Where I can hold space for people to uncover their purpose, to reclaim their dreams and to actually put in place strategies to get there.

How does it get even better?!

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This is the blog for the Fat. So? Podcast, where Pallavi and Ameya talk about the joys and sorrows of being fat women in India.

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Pallavi Nath

Pallavi Nath

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