Remove Willpower from the Equation to 10x your Life: Here’s How.
It may be counterintuitive, but blaming willpower is the opposite of empowerment.
I’ve often heard people touting their own willpower when they accomplish something. It tends to strike me as disingenuous. Perhaps they just don’t know why they were successful and can’t articulate an answer.
To me willpower is a very finite resource; much like time. It can be enhanced for specific tasks, but not by much. Most the time when we are practicing something that we think requires willpower, what we are really doing is getting used to the movement and the emotions associated with the task. The next time we encounter that task; unpredictability is removed as a variable. It’s a learning process rather than a “I’m going to grit my teeth and work real hard” thing.
I’ve had a number of conversations with friends recently regarding nutrition. One was having trouble quitting soda. The other was eating in excess of her calories and maconutrients she had set up. Both blamed a lack of willpower as to why they were struggling.
When I heard both them it just struck me as odd. The first friend who can’t shake soda, doesn’t drink much alcohol at all. I pointed out to him that I have no issues not drinking soda, but it is very difficult for me to go a week without drinking at least a little bit of beer. Opposite issues, but equivalent. So where does willpower enter?
This illustrates one important aspect I call, “Finding your Easy”
Finding your Easy
Some things are just going to be easier than others for you. This can be due to preference or fun or whatever. It really doesn’t matter why it’s easy. What is important is to just accept that easy when it falls in your lap. Be grateful and don’t get a big head about it.
I like going to the gym. I am able to wake up at 4:30am and work out every single day. I do not attribute this to any bullsh*t work ethic I honed. The truth of the matter is I am lucky that I like it. It makes it easy for me.
Going to the gym is not easy for everyone. Some people detest it. The problem with detesting the gym is that exercise is good for you. There is no substitute for exercise. So if going to the gym is hard for you, you need to find an exercise that isn’t hard or at minimum, easier. Try a new activity and if it doesn’t work iterate until you find your easy.
For a long time Derek couldn’t lose weight. He tried going to a gym and he tried nutrition calculators like Myfitnesspal. Nothing seemed to stick for him.
Eventually he tried a few new things. He found that hiking/rucking, BJJ & intermittent fasting were much easier for him to follow. He didn’t need a traditional gym. He didn’t need to track all his food. He needed easy, but effective. Now he is down 50lbs and has kept it off for +3 years.
When you Can’t Find Your Easy
What happens when you’ve iterated and iterated and can’t find your easy? What if the goal is extremely important rather than trying to drop a few lbs before Summer?
The friend who was getting hungry at night is an alcoholic who has been sober almost a decade. She complained she didn’t have the willpower to stay under her daily calories. I asked if her sobriety was attributed to willpower or if it was attributed to the system set up through AA. She definitively agreed that she needed the system of recovery, unity and service. In fact part of “step one” of AA is admitting that you are powerless over alcohol.
The lesson is; don’t rely on willpower. Set up a system. It doesn’t need to be an elaborate system. It only has to work. The importance of the goal dictates how robust of a system you need.
When I first started attending 5:30am classes for Crossfit I had trouble with hitting the snooze button in the morning. I tried plugging my phone in across the room at night. That was it, that was all the system I needed. Getting up out of bed to turn off the alarm did the trick. I am compliant with the system because there is negligible mental effort at night to set it up.
This is one of many systems I have set up. I set them up because I know I don’t have willpower. I need it to be stupid simple or else I will screw it up. Trust me, I have seen me do it.
Examples of systems I use regularly:
- I meal prep all my lunches and have the same shake for breakfast each day.
- I write out a grocery list including what is planned for dinner for 6x days a week. I put it on a clipboard and cross items off as I get them.
- When I first got out of debt I followed Dave Ramsey’s Debt Snowball.
- After getting out of debt, we used the “envelope method” to maintain our finances.
- I got to Crossfit classes, I follow Kneesovertoesguy, and perform Juggernaut’s squat program for exercise leaving me less room to tinker and mess things up.
- I track my weight/body fat% every Thursday. I asked my coach what day so I didn’t have a choice.
Systems can take many forms. Typically the easiest is having a coach or manager. Some one with more experience and skills who can help you set up systems in addition to monitoring progress.
Now if I could only set up a successful writing system…
