99 Crayons
Who doesn’t love parody lyrics to our favorite songs?
As my kid grows and is trying to draw more and more on the walls, 99 Problems popped in my head. And, so I made an attempt to write some parody lyrics. Up next I guess will be me trying to rap it. That will be dangerous! But hey, this was fun.
If it’s not a drawing surface I feel bad for you mom,
I got ninety-nine crayons and lots of walls to draw on
I got the hand control with my feet on patrol
Foes that want to make sure my crayon box is closed
Toddler critics that say he’s “head, shoulders, knees and toes”
I’m from the crib, stupid, what type of facts are those?
If you grew up without easily washable walls
You’d celebrate the minute you was gettin’ to draw
I’m like, “Baby haters, you can kiss my poopie diapers”
If you don’t like my art, you can buy invisible paint
Got beef with my crayons if I draw they always show
They don’t praise my hits, well I don’t give a boob’s milk, so
Mommy blogs try to use my baby bum
So advertisers can give ’em more cash per clicks, suckers
I don’t know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that this lil’ dude has
I’m from booties to sneakers, Karens I ain’t dumb
I got ninety-nine crayons and lots of walls to draw on
Ninety-nine crayons and lots of walls to draw on
If it’s not a drawing surface I feel bad for you mom,
I got ninety-nine crayons and lots of walls to draw on
