Interview With Someone Who Won’t Answer Any Questions

Not all questions get answers

Dan Leicht
Jan 26 · 2 min read

Interviewer: Hello, Sir. I understand you’re waiting in line for the huge TV sale happening soon. Can I get your name?

Interviewer: Can you please say your name into the microphone?

Interviewer: Are you here for the sale? Is there a certain model of TV you’re excited to purchase today?

Interviewer: It looks like you’ve set up camp.

Gentleman: That’s because I did. I stayed here all night waiting so I can be first in line.

Interviewer: You speak! Can I please get your name?

Interviewer: Okay, well you did it. You’re first in line. What’s the model of TV you’re hoping to buy?

Interviewer: The TV I can see on display through the window sure looks nice.

Gentleman: That’s the TV I want. I have a place all sorted out at home for it already. Well, going to have to use the kitchen table for a bit, but that’s okay.

Interviewer: The name of the TV is hard to read from here.

Gentleman: It says Ultra 4K Grand Supreme Mega Edition 75"

Interviewer: It’s hard to say what kind of person would need a TV like that. I can only imagine the name of such a person.

Gentleman: Me, Walter Evans, I’m the kind of person who wants a TV like that.

Interviewer: It’s been a pleasure speaking with you this morning, Walter. Best of luck to you when the store opens up tomorrow morning.

Walter: Tomorrow morning? What do you mean?

Walter: Why isn’t it opening up until tomorrow morning?

Walter: Is today a holiday?

Walter: Oh gosh, I forgot it’s a holiday. I have a meeting tomorrow at work and can’t miss it. Can you wait in line for me?

Walter: Can you? Where’re you going?

Faux Interviews

Humorous interviews between two or more fictional…

Dan Leicht

Written by

Writer of fictitious tales. I like thoughtful, imaginative, and funny stories. Writer of The @CharlesSplints Detective Stories. Check out

Faux Interviews

Humorous interviews between two or more fictional characters.

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