Love Is Not a Choice

Love is NOT a choice.

Have you ever noticed that within Christian circles there are popular phrases and sayings that are used frequently? You’ve heard some of them:

“I’ll pray for you.” — If you want to make someone believe you are super spiritual you can use this one…no…just go ahead and pray for them right then!

“I don’t feel led.” — Just be honest, you would simply prefer not to do it.

“God never gives you more than you can handle.” — This one is just flat out wrong. God actually gives us more than we can handle all of the time. That’s how he grows our faith and dependency upon him!

Then there is this one. “Love is a choice.” While this one carries at least some resemblance of truth it is at least, misleading. Here is why.

  1. Using that saying, it could be inferred that love is a choice that is within our power to perform. When I don’t feel like loving someone, I have the power to love them anyway. That view of love is not biblical. The biblical truth is that we are totally dependent upon God to give us love for one another! (See Galatians 5:22) Therefore, I do not have the power to love at all except for the Spirit of God giving me that power!
  2. This saying can sound like we believe that what we DO is more important than what is at the core of our HEARTS. The Bible clearly teaches that Jesus cares MORE about our motivations and heart attitudes than the action that comes from our outward lives. (See Luke 6:45) Therefore, the “loving choice” if not led from a loving heart is not love at all!
  3. Treating people well by “choosing to love them” is not the goal of the love of our neighbor. Obviously, we should treat people kindly and with compassion, but if our love is only an act of our will, then it is not yet what God desires it to be!

Want some deeper study? Check these verses out: Matt. 22:37, Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 1:22, 1 Cor. 13:4–7, Matt. 5:44.