Self-Sabotage to Success: 4 Strategies for Overcoming Perfectionism | #10

Rachel Strathdee, May 1, 2023

The end of second semester is fast approaching in secondary schools across Canada, and exam season brings with it significant stress and a challenging workload. Students respond to this influx of assessments and increased academic pressure in a wide variety of ways, but many, especially high-achievers, find themselves grappling with perfectionism.

To a degree, this difficulty stems from a lack of awareness about the reality of perfectionism. The term “perfectionism” is frequently misunderstood — after all, isn’t setting high standards for yourself a good thing? Shouldn’t students strive for excellence in their academic and extracurricular pursuits? However, there is a deep discrepancy between idealized conceptions of perfectionism and the reality that numerous secondary students regularly face.

Perfectionism leads an individual to set unrealistic and unreasonable goals and expectations for themselves. These expectations are so unattainable that an individual will not be able to meet them, or they will only be able to meet them with an extreme, disproportionate amount of effort. Such perfectionist tendencies, though occasionally resulting in a higher quality of work, can have severe negative consequences on a student if not kept in check. A perfectionist mindset has been linked to higher rates of depression and anxiety, burnout, hypersensitivity to criticism, and poor self-image. It can even be directly counterproductive when it comes to your schoolwork and studying habits; if fear of failure is holding you back from starting a project, you may have experienced the dreaded perfectionism-procrastination loop.

The ability to recognize and effectively deal with perfectionist tendencies will serve you well both as a student and throughout your life. This is a skill with the potential to positively impact your mental health, increase your productivity, and improve your quality of life. Here are four strategies for overcoming perfectionism that you can apply this exam season — and throughout your life!

1 — Acknowledge and Recognize your Feelings

In order to make any progress in combatting your perfectionist tendencies, you need to begin by recognizing and identifying your perfectionist behaviors and how they impact you. This will provide you with a strong starting point for creating a healthier attitude towards your school work. If you are unsure if you are struggling with perfectionism, the key question centers around the attainability of the standards that you set for yourself. Ask yourself if your standards are realistic, and consider how they impact you: are unrealistic expectations causing you undue stress or anxiety? Do other people consider your standards too high? Do you routinely have trouble meeting your expectations for yourself? If the answer is yes, then you could probably benefit from working on your perfectionism.

2 — Adopt a Growth Attitude

This strategy focuses on reframing your mindset in a way that fundamentally opposes perfectionist tendencies. The core idea is to shift from a focus solely on achievement and results to a focus on progress, learning, and self betterment. An exceedingly common characteristic of perfectionism is “all-or-nothing thinking” or “black-and-white thinking”, a mindset in which an individual thinks solely in absolutes. Someone engaging in this sort of “all-or-nothing” thinking might believe that, if they are not successful, they are automatically a failure. This mindset is deeply damaging, especially for students — it’s antithetical to learning and progress! By changing your metric of success from specific marks to personal growth, you’ll practice a much healthier mindset — and the tangible academic success you are looking for will follow!

3 — Practicing Realism

Many perfectionists struggle with breaking away from a task or project because it doesn’t quite reach their standards. What perfectionists frequently fail to realize is that their work never truly will, as their standards are unattainable, and, as they work more and more, their productivity actually decreases as they experience the Law of Diminishing Returns (a concept you’ll be familiar with if you’ve taken an economics class)!

The best way to avoid falling victim to the endless loop of “I can make it a little bit better” is to practice setting fully realistic and attainable goals for yourself. Adjust your standards and expectations so they are attainable and fit the task at hand. A great way to practice setting realistic standards that allow you to break the cycle of perfectionism is through creating checklists with clear and actionable goals. Challenge yourself to make a list like this, and then, as you work through items, check them off and be fully done with them!

4 — Connect with Others for Support

Sometimes, even if you apply perfectionism-tackling strategies, it can remain a persistent problem. In this case, it can be helpful to gain some perspective. Talk with peers and compare your efforts and ideas. If you notice that your efforts significantly exceed those of other students, it could be a sign that you are experiencing perfectionist behaviors and investing too much time on a project. It can also be helpful to open dialogues with your teachers or counselors about perfectionism. Counselors can recommend additional helpful strategies or help you create a plan to combat perfectionism, and teachers can provide you with feedback and provide you with a clearer sense of the expectations for your work.

References “Perfectionism.” Psychology Today, n.d., https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/perfectionism. Accessed November 17 2022.

Knight, Rebecca. “How to Manage Your Perfectionism.” Harvard Business Review, 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/04/how-to-manage-your-perfectionism. Accessed November 18 2022.

“How to Overcome Perfectionism.” Anxiety Canada, n.d., https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/how-to-overcome-perfectionism/. Accessed November 17 2022.