5 (Toxic) Wedding Traditions I Am Skipping on My Day

See you later, garter toss.

Gigi Love
Gigi Love
Jan 30 · 5 min read

There’s a good chance I will be engaged this year.

I say this because my boyfriend and I have had multiple conversations about this and he recently told me that he’s “ready to get the ball rolling.” I picked a ring. I got my vaccine.

Life is finally starting to open back up for me.

So, I am trying to visualize the wedding that I want.

Turns out, there’s a lot.

These are outdated ideas and/or traditions that are not getting an invitation to my wedding.

I am not going to starve myself to fit in my dress.

I’ve watched friends crash diet. I’ve watched them hire trainers. I’ve watched them exercise and green juice their way to exhaustion.

And what is all this body punishing doing for them?

I want my wedding dress to fit me, not the other way around.

The body that he fell in love with. The body that’s the only one I’m going to get.

I am not going to participate in old-fashioned rituals.

Marriage isn’t a transaction anymore. It’s a partnership.

I refuse to collect money at my wedding for the pleasure of dancing with me.

While we’re at it, I am done with the garter toss, too. I don’t want to be sexualized in the same room as my parents. I mean, women throw bouquets. Men reach up our skirts and throw our underwear.

I’m just not cool with that.

I am not going to structure my wedding for strangers on social media.

But now, all your Facebook friends and all of their friends are judging you, too.

  • You need the hidden photographer at the engagement party.
  • You need the bachelorette party picture where you’re on a beach somewhere in matching tank tops that say “Team Bride” or something like that.
  • You need the first look pictures where he sees you in your wedding dress — bad luck, be damned — and he just can’t believe how beautiful you are.

Now, I’m not saying I won’t take any of these sorts of photos. I definitely will, because I want to remember how great the whole engagement and wedding process is. But, I’m not going to blast it all over social media to meet some anonymous expectations.

I am not going to worry about hurting people’s feelings or meeting their expectations.

The truth is that I am not going to please everyone and it’s okay.

Also, I can’t invite everyone.

I don’t want my wedding to be filled with people whom I’ve never met.

I want to dance with the people I love. I want to make memories with them and not waste my whole night saying hi to people that I barely remember. This will hurt people’s feelings, I’m sure. But I can’t stress about that. And I won’t apologize for it, either.

I am not going to let you call me a Bridezilla.

You don’t get to shame me for wanting what I want.

Let’s kill this phrase, shall we?

And why is there no male equivalent? I think we all know why, but it’s worth pointing out.

To recap: we all need to be nicer to brides.

Treat brides the way that you treat grooms. Tell them they look good, thank them for the invitation, and congratulate them on their marriage. Then dance your face off, because that’s what weddings are for.

It’s just that simple.

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories…

Gigi Love

Written by

Gigi Love

I have questions (and answers) about sex, love, and pop culture. You too? Join me here: https://gigilove.substack.com

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

Gigi Love

Written by

Gigi Love

I have questions (and answers) about sex, love, and pop culture. You too? Join me here: https://gigilove.substack.com

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

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