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6 Common Gaslighting Phrases and How to Respond
#6 —” I was only joking.”
Most people know that if you are delivering bad news, you shouldn’t make jokes. There’s a reason why coroners and cardiologists are not known for their sense of humor.
So let’s start with a disclaimer: This story isn’t very funny.
When I was dating Roberto,* I always suspected he had relationship wanderlust. We all have it to some degree. With hookup culture, everyone is juggling a roster of partners, so no one gives anyone their full attention. And let’s face it…to be a great lover, you have to pay attention.
So one night, I finally had enough liquid courage (bourbon) to ask him the dreaded intimacy question — are you having sex with anyone else?
To be fair, we had never discussed exclusivity. But after eight months, I assumed he wasn’t sleeping with other people. (Never assume that.) He was also pretty inebriated, so this probably wasn’t the best time to broach this subject. But if you want the truth, either ask a drunk person or a baby. Neither can lie.
Thus, he gave my question about as much deliberation as a baby does when rejecting peas. Without missing a beat, he responded…
“Only two people.”
