Member-only story
A Doctor Mansplained Sex Because “I Wasn’t Doing it Right”
Medical mansplaining is gaslighting and it’s prohibiting women from life-saving reproductive care
Perched on the stirrup table, I’m sucking in my tummy, braced for impact. Habit, I guess. Though I am only 22, dismissive, fatphobic physicians and I share a long, violent history.
There’s a knock before a middle-aged white man pops into the room.
I share a rap sheet of family history. Hysterectomies, endometriosis, PCOS, ovarian cancer. I share my own background that includes an ovarian cyst and subsequent removal of an ovary at age 12.
Ending with why I am here — pain with sex. Given the history, I am afraid something is very wrong.
It feels like a medically wrapped violation, but he calls it an exam.
His conclusion?
I was doing it wrong.
You must be doing it wrong. I find lubricants to be very helpful for pelvic pain. If you lose some weight, it’ll help. You can’t have a baby at this size. In the meantime, just take some Tylenol before and after.
