Can We Normalize Body Hair on Women Already?
I stopped shaving to take back autonomy of my body as a woman.
Shaving came second nature to me for more than a decade of my life. Every girl I knew shaved their body hair so I never questioned if I should too. I just thought of it as a thing girls did that boys didn’t. I shaved anytime I was wearing clothes that showed my leg and underarm hair. I was doing it to meet an expectation and avoid judgment, not because I preferred smooth legs and underarms. But I didn’t realize this until last year when I stopped shaving because of the pandemic.
It took me all this time to realize how unnecessary and unrealistic this beauty standard is for women. After I stopped shaving, I realized how empowered I felt letting my body hair grow out. Being myself and not caring about other people’s opinions has been a goal of mine for a long time. This allowed me to take a step towards that. It also gave me a sense of freedom because this expectation had weighed me down since I was a teenager.
Throughout my life, I was never one to wear makeup or style my hair. But girls in high school would randomly suggest to me that I should. I just ignored them. But shaving was something I always did because if you didn’t, girls would talk about you. I felt like it was something I had to do to avoid bullying and unsolicited comments.
I even remember the exact moment my mom handed me a razor. I must have been 13 years old. She was teaching me how to shave my armpits. My girl classmates had asked me why I didn’t shave which made me want to start. I tended to always be late to the party on what you are “supposed” to do because my mom didn’t teach or buy me something until I asked her to. She never made me feel like I had to be like everyone else. Just like she never got me a training bra in 6th grade until girls started to comment on my lack of one.
The mindset we grow up with that we have to do what everyone else does only limits what makes us unique. We’ve been taught to see different as bad but this is a harmful way of thinking. Fitting in isn’t all it's cracked up to be.
Why Are Women Taught to Be Ashamed of Their Body Hair?
I never questioned what shaving really meant for young girls. I was never even aware of how high an expectation this was until recently. Just like I didn’t know this would be expected of me for the rest of my life until some girl in school pointed it out.
We are all just conditioned to feel this way. It’s subjective. It shows how much a crowd mentality can affect your daily choices. But if you never knew of these standards, you’d be spared the social expectations you are told to follow.
I remember being at a football game in high school. I was sitting with my friends when these girls behind me were making fun of a girl who just walked by with hair on her legs. Back then, all I wanted to do was shave so I could avoid that happening to me.
In high school, the trend of girls shaving their arm hair started to become more common. That was one thing I wasn’t willing to do. While it was mostly out of pure laziness, it was also because that meant I’d have to shave every morning which didn’t sound fun. But I did still shave my legs and underarms up until 2020.
Over time I started to adopt the same kind of thinking that all girls should shave. We have been conditioned to think that body hair on women is not attractive. I had become a part of this group without even knowing it and without realizing my unnecessary bias.
While I would never stoop down to the level of calling someone out for it, I hated that I expected women to keep their body hair off at some point in my life. I hated that I felt this way for no actual reason other than because it was the norm.
Now, my views on body hair have completely changed since the pandemic. I stopped shaving my legs and underarms as I normally would. I wasn’t going out so what was the point? Then it clicked. I was shaving because of what people would think of me if I didn’t. I like a smooth feeling leg just like the next girl but was it really worth all my time, energy, and money? And sure, sometimes I think there’s a bug on me when really it’s just the wind blowing my own hair against my leg. It’s something I’m willing to deal with and I’m sure I’ll get used to it over time.
I no longer see body hair as something women should be ashamed of and use endless means just to keep off as much as possible. I realized I never shaved if I thought people couldn’t see it. I can’t remember a time I ever shaved just because I wanted to. We grow hair for a reason and it’s not to make it look like we don’t.
Just think about all the money, time, pain, and energy we spend trying to be hairless. We buy razors, tweezers, shaving cream, waxing strips, different hair removal products, and skincare products for aftercare. We go to wax centers, get laser hair removal, and thread our eyebrows. All because of a standard we never asked for or agreed to.
Would you shave if people didn’t judge you? There’s a clear-cut image of what a woman should look like. But we come in all shapes and sizes. Being a woman means our hair is going to grow — everywhere. There’s no reason to be ashamed of it. Kick those expectations to the curb.
Does Body Hair Make You Less of a Woman?
The older I get, the more I start to question not just major life choices, but my daily choices as well. The choices I made for most of my life have been because society told me to do it. Wear a bra, go to college, and consume material things until they bring you happiness. Everything down to whether or not I should let my body hair grow out.
There is something so liberating about not doing something that society expects you to do. I’ve never felt freer than when I wore a cute dress (because let’s admit it they’re so much more comfortable than anything else) with my unshaved legs and underarms that have been growing out for months.
There is no one definition of what it means to be a woman. When I threw out my razors I was able to let go of this weird expectation that a woman’s body should be hairless besides her head.
Why are we made to feel so ashamed and judged about letting our hair grow out? It’s insane that something as natural as this has been made to feel unnatural and unattractive.
This is part of my journey to accepting my body and not conforming it to society’s norm. I’m redefining myself not only as a person but as a woman. I am figuring out what that means to me and not to others. I’m letting go of the walls I’ve been confined in. It is not my job to make people comfortable around me. It’s not my responsibility to satisfy the opinions of those around me who judge what isn’t the norm.
My body hair, shaved or not shaved, has nothing to do with my identity as a woman. It’s my choice, not anyone else’s.
Whatever you feel may be weighing you down because of society’s definition of what a woman should be, you may find clarity on the other side. I know it’s hard but it’s worth going against what for so long has been used to put women down.
We have so much potential but we are told we need to focus on our looks to be accepted by society. The time, money, and energy we put into these things that men don’t have to, take a bigger toll on us than we realize. Because doing all of these things has become the norm, we no longer put ourselves in a perspective where we question it. These daily choices become second nature to us.
Being a woman means whatever you want it to mean. Just you existing means you are a woman. You don’t have to fit into society’s perception of what a woman is. You don’t need to seek the acceptance of others. The only one who needs to accept you is you.
