Here’s Why People Pressure You to Get Married and Have Children

It’s not you, it’s them.

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

If you’ve ever grown tired of mom asking when you’ll give her some grandchildren, friends questioning when you and your new partner will tie the knot, or if you’ve ever dreaded a family gathering because you knew you’d have to answer similar questions — then you know the frustration of relentless love life invasions.

When unwed or childless, it can feel as though these topics dominate every interaction with loved ones. No matter how the discussion begins, marriage and babies somehow find a way into the conversation.

Especially if you’re a woman.

Your hypothetical wedding day or when you’ll let someone put a baby in you seem to be all anyone cares to discuss. Never mind the promotion you just got at work or the house you purchased — the fact that you aren’t a mother or a wife overshadows everything else. No matter how many times you tell people you’re doing fine, taking your time, or just not ready, they continue seeking answers. But it’s not usually because they’re insensitive and don’t respect your wishes.

Many people associate marriage and family with happiness.

So, they focus on this aspect of your life, believing it’s a critical means to that end. To them, life is about family and tradition. They don’t comprehend how you can be content while single, and certainly don’t buy that you’re happy.

Friends, family, and sometimes even colleagues and random acquaintances ask when you’re getting married or having children because they think it’s necessary for fulfillment. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can say or do to convince them otherwise. We perceive situations from our level of experience and understanding.

Anyone who’s subscribed to the societal notion that women aspire to marriage and motherhood will rank these “duties” near the top of your priorities. Anyone who believes that life should go in a particular order, such as graduate college — start a career — get married — purchase a home — start a family, will have a difficult time accepting deviations.

People want to make an “honest woman” out of you. They don’t understand the…