How Rosa Parks Changed My Life, Even After Her Death
I was ordered to the back of the bus because I was a woman
It was in the year 2014 that I innocently boarded a New York-bound coach bus that happened to be operated by my Jewish Ultra-Orthodox community. I plopped onto the third-row seat and mentally prepared myself for the long journey ahead, which was sure to be noisy due to all the babies and young children aboard.
Just as I was settling my stuff neatly around my seat, the large, commanding woman who was gathering the tickets looked down at me and barked,
“You’re in the men section! The front half of the bus is for men, the back half of the bus is for women…move your things to the back of the bus!”
Ordinarily, I was used to being shoved behind a curtain, a wall or a side section so as not to ‘distract’ men with my female body, but tonight I felt tired in a pent up, stifled kind of way.
“I’m not moving to the back,” I replied quietly.
“Well if you’re not moving, then this bus is not moving! Come on, move to the back of the bus now. Everybody is waiting for you, you’re wasting our time!”
“I don’t want to sit near the bathroom for nine hours, I’m sure you can understand…and anyway, we’re in the 21st century, what is this…Rosa Parks? Why do I need to sit in the back just because I’m a woman?”
I shook my head disapprovingly from side to side, my heart pounding harder in my chest. I learned about Rosa Parks as a child in Jewish school and just knowing that she existed gave me the energy I needed in order to stop and say, “No” for once.
The imposing woman got on the phone and shouted into it in Yiddish.
The grey-bearded driver got up and ordered me to the back of the bus immediately.
Needless to say, the bus didn’t move for a while.
Finally, as the hour neared midnight and I grew impatient waiting for my New York-bound bus to depart, I resolved that I’d rather not go to New York at all than sit at the back of the bus. I was tired of being pushed out of sight and behind things for the convenience of men.
The feelings of unfairness grew in me that night. Not long after, I divorced my husband and left my Jewish community.
Luckily I was only treated this way by a select group of people and I was aware that there is a world of people out there who don’t believe that sending me to the back of the bus is normal, respectful, or acceptable in any way.
I often wonder, if my whole community and my entire country maintained the belief that I deserved to be shoved to the back of the bus for the convenience of men, would I have had to forever contend with being silenced and shoved to the back for the rest of my life?
Rosa Parks stated in her own words that she was still young and strong but tired in a different way, “No, the only tired I was was tired of giving in.”
I got you Parks, I was tired too, but I didn’t have to go to jail for it like you had to.
Now as everyone takes to the streets chanting, ‘Black Lives Matter’, I say that black lives don’t matter, black lives more than matter. Black lives are powerful as fuck.
I owe you a long overdue Thank you, Rosa, for moving forward the entire civil rights movement because you had the courage to say no.
From one white woman to Rosa Parks, to Oprah Winfrey, to Michelle Obama and to all black females, I want to acknowledge that according to historical documentation and statistics it is you who have put up with the most violence, racism, unfairness, and the most bullshit in order to get where you are today.
Thank you for knowing when to say enough is enough.
Black lives don’t just matter, black lives have been and continue to be imperative to the entire progression of human rights and I am forever indebted to those who have paid the highest price.
Thank you black people and especially black women who have been hit the hardest and have moved us the furthest forward.
Your history is powerful and it has made you powerful.
I see you, I feel you, I support you.
Tanya is a mental health nurse specializing in trauma therapy and women’s health. She writes for Rewire Trauma Therapy’s online therapy services: https://www.rewiretraumatherapy.com/
