I Wrote a Letter to My Future Daughter and I’m Not Pregnant

Here is what I want her to know.

Gigi Love
Gigi Love
Feb 5 · 6 min read

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately.

Last year, I think many of us had a hard time thinking about what the future might look like. I was scared. I didn’t know if my loved ones — my immunocompromised dad especially — would even have a future.

But now, there’s a shred of hope. A vaccine on the way.

So, I am starting to think of what tomorrow might look like. I’m picturing my wedding. I’m imagining life as a full-time writer.

And now, I’m writing letters to my future daughter.

Here is why I wrote this letter.

And it made me think about the women coming up behind me.

Who knows if I am even going to have a daughter. I may wind up with a boys-only house. I may just have a house full of dogs. But if I do have a daughter, I want to prepare her for this crazy the way that only another woman can.

These are a few things I would want my daughter to know. These are things I want my little cousins to know. These are things I wish I would have known.

I want you to be a good listener.

There are lots of things you can learn from other people when you listen.

You get to listen, and then choose what to do with all that listening.

But I hope that you trust yourself first.

Before you let the world mold you, I hope you mold yourself.

You have to know yourself because if you don’t, the world will tell you who you are.

Glennon Doyle says it this way:

“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been.”

I want you to treat your body well.

I hope you love your body exactly how it is right now.

I hope that you treat your body with love.

But I don’t want you to believe the lies culture tells you about your body.

I hope your world looks a lot different than mine did.

Wanting your body to be smaller is a trap.

I learned to love myself just this way. And I hope you learn that much earlier than I did.

I want you to follow your dreams and believe in yourself.

Never let anyone shrink your dreams.

  • “It’s impossible to make money doing ___.”
  • “Are you sure you know how to do ___?”
  • “My friend tried to do ___, and she lost a lot of money.”

Don’t share your dreams with people who cannot be trusted with them. Find other big dreamers. Find like-minded people and support each other to the top.

Then, watch as those who didn’t believe in you quickly change their minds.

But I want you to know that you are allowed to take your time getting there.

But the truth is that I am in the exact timeline that I need to be in.

Toni Morrison published for the first time at 40. Was she too late?

Mark Twain published for the first time at 41. Was he too late?

Raymond Chandler published his first novel at 44. Was he too late?

You are allowed to take as much time as you need.

Women are not your competition.

We have to lift each other up.

As Glennon Doyle says:

“Our culture was built upon and benefits from the control of women. The way power justifies controlling a group is by conditioning the masses to believe that the group cannot be trusted. So the campaign to convince us to mistrust women begins early and comes from everywhere.”

Life is not always easy for a woman, but I see progress on the rise. I see change. I’m watching women waking up, looking around, and detangling all the lies we have been told.

I hope the world is better for you. And if it isn’t, I hope you change it.

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories…

Gigi Love

Written by

Gigi Love

I have questions (and answers) about sex, love, and pop culture. You too? Join me here: https://gigilove.substack.com

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

Gigi Love

Written by

Gigi Love

I have questions (and answers) about sex, love, and pop culture. You too? Join me here: https://gigilove.substack.com

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

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