I’m Fifty Years Old and in the First Healthy Relationship of My Life
This is what I’ve learned — safety is everything.
I am fifty years old and in the first truly healthy intimate relationship of my life. Until a few weeks ago, if you had asked how this relationship was different than the others, I might have listed a number of things I’ve noticed. I might have said that my boyfriend listens to what I have to say. I might have said that he has never been anything less than completely respectful of me in every way imaginable.
I might have answered that we have fun and laugh a lot and that we truly enjoy each other’s company. I might have replied that he spontaneously helps me whenever he perceives that I am facing a challenge or that we both really miss each other when we are apart. I might have told you that he likes me — the real me and understands me in a way that is rare and beautiful. Every one of these things is true, but I was missing the bigger picture.
I couldn’t put my finger on what all of these things had in common.
All I knew was that for the very first time in a romantic relationship, I did not hesitate to be completely honest about everything. I wasn’t embarrassed or shy about asking for what I wanted in bed. For the first time, I didn’t feel smothered by daily text messages…
