I’m Seriously Considering Leaving the United States

And 40% of women under age 30 want to leave too

Photo by Josh Johnson on Unsplash

A shocking percentage of women report wanting to leave the United States since Trump took office. According to a Gallup poll released in early 2019, a shocking 40% of women under 30 reported wanting to leave the country, versus 20% of men in the same age group.

There are so many days that I sit here contemplating what I am still doing here. My family could have a good life abroad and I’m fully aware of that. My ability to write and teach online gives me the benefit of being able to work wherever I am. Travel is something I have always lived for and the thought of living somewhere else is exciting.

But I got married in the states and had my son here, and I want him to know his family. His grandparents are here and they want to watch him grow up. We want him to spend holidays and birthdays with his cousins. Family means a lot, especially now that I have a child. I also love my country- the Constitution, the beautiful national parks, the food, the music- all of it.

A few of my personal reasons for considering leaving the country focus heavily on financial reasons. I’ve outlined some major considerations below:

1. Trump. The biggest reason of all.
2. Health Insurance: My family is currently paying an astronomical amount of money for health insurance on the marketplace. This is the first time we’ve been forced to get insurance on the marketplace and it has been an eye-opening experience.
3. Gun Violence: I fear the day when I have to send my baby to school because of the rampant shootings in America. This is not a normal feeling. One shouldn’t fear the day when their child goes off to learn and make new friends. My best friend’s daughter is in 1st grade in Jersey City and just spent half of her day hiding under a desk in fear. She’s 6.
4. Student Loans: My husband and I are still paying off student loans and at the same time, opening a college savings account for our baby. On a recent trip to Montreal, I was talking to a young woman at the bar who told me that she was paying $50 per semester for her college tuition. My parking pass in college for one semester was more expensive than that.
5. Family Policies: The United States does not have policies that are family-friendly. Our lack of paid family leave is unparalleled in other developed countries. Daycare costs are through the roof (if you can even get into daycare with waiting lists a year out in many hip cities). Our policies are not helping lower and middle-class families succeed.

Many reasons that I stated above are serious considerations that we should all think about when we choose to live in the United States but are these concerns unique to women? Other than the Trump factor, I’d argue that they aren’t.

Additionally, these issues are not new. They have been here way before Trump took office. So why is it that so many more young women want to leave the country now? I honestly believe that it’s the fact that Trump is the president of the United States.

Women are suffering from “The Trump Effect”.

This story wouldn’t be complete without taking some time to reflect on how I felt after the 2016 election.

It was a brisk morning; I recall waking up happy, bundling up, and immediately heading out to vote. My best friends and I went out to the bars on election night, dressed in all white, ready for a victory. We started off feeling exuberant. Many of us had campaigned hard for numerous candidates, including one of our best friends for the Richmond school board.

We were eager to hear what the outcome of the election was all around. First, the news was out that our friend had won a seat on the school board. Next, we learned that Levar Stoney, the youngest mayor ever elected to serve the City of Richmond, had been elected. People were taking shots and celebrating. We were ready for the big victory.

Suddenly things started to go terribly wrong.

We waited and tried not to lose hope. Then it got worse. People began to cry and drink excessively. The bar was no longer a happy place. The next day was a period of mourning; I didn’t go to work. The next few months were a blur. And a few months later, after the shock wore off, I began seriously thinking about leaving the country.

The election hit many women hard.

But what is it specifically that has us so down that 40% of women under age 30 don’t even want to live in this country anymore, years after Trump was elected?

Well for one, we were always told that if we worked hard we could be anything, including the president of the United States.

Do young women still believe this? I honestly don’t know, I hope they do. Trump was certainly not more qualified than Hillary. He definitely didn’t work as hard as she did to get where he is today. Hillary couldn’t shatter the highest glass ceiling and that flat out left us feeling depressed and defeated.

If we stay here will we ever achieve what we want? New Zealand has a young mom as their prime minister after all. Maybe we should live in a place where we know we can be anything.

We also elected an alleged sexual abuser to run our country.

As if that weren’t enough, our leader has been accused of sexual assault by not just one, but twenty-five women. How is this supposed to make women feel? Is it supposed to make us feel safe? We know that it made us angry and that has ignited a movement, but what is this doing to our psyche? The energy it takes to hear the disrespectful things Trump says (or tweets) every day is exhausting. Our leader clearly has no respect for women. If we cannot count on the person elected to the highest possible office to respect us at the very least, how can we expect him to make any serious decisions with our interests in mind?

And as I write this I once again wonder what I am doing here. I am holding out hope for a better 2020. I love my country and I’m willing to stand up and try to make it better. But for how long I’m not sure.