As a feminist, fighting against oppression, slavery, submission, suppression, and sexism is the order of the day. However, contrary to what some people would believe, women are also humans, and we too have to work daily to make ends meet; so you can imagine how tired we are.
Imagine how tired we are of it.
Currently, our biggest threat asides from men are the entire patriarchy system. It’s a heck of a fight we've been putting up, and I commend you all my amazing women for getting with it. Being a feminist is hard in a world that tries to make it a dirty and unnecessary thing, but we don’t care, and I love that about we don’t care.
In this article, I’d talk about the different ways we can fight the patriarchy. I call them ‘The Necessary Tools Needed In The Fights For Feminism”.
Women supporting women:
I call every woman offline and online ‘sister’ or ‘sis’. Why? Because we go through this life experiencing similar struggles, victories, and mishaps. From birth till death (if we don't break off and unlearn) we’re taught to serve others, submit to a special someone and shrink ourselves to be perfect beings.
We’re told to make sure our vaginas smell like roses and our hair is always long or neatly arranged. We’re told to be bald from the eyebrow down so that we can be softer and more feminine. Since I became feminist and a hardcore one at that, never has anyone, male or female (especially male) described me as soft. I’m always called stubborn, annoying, and too much. I would be super rich if those words said to me came with dollars. Anyway, we’ve all had to go through life with fear and uncertainty. Therefore, we’ve had to become sisters, through good and bad times.
I've noticed that it's very annoying to some men when they see women supporting women that they get really happy and leap for joy when they see two women ‘fighting’.
The next train they jump on is ‘women never support women’. According to feminist Biliquis , “Women hate other women” “Women don’t support women” and “Women are their own biggest enemies” are all false narratives created by misogynistic men to put women in competition with each other, it can be a form of gaslighting. Women are other women’s biggest allies. Women argue, fight, and disagree with each other, just like men do. However, you do not ever see men say ‘men hate each other’. Be like men and be unapologetic with your anger and rage. Fight with who you want to, irrespective of gender; because after all, we’re ALL humans. Watch how the patriarchs will foam at the mouth.
The patriarchy is not expecting women to be free, loud, carefree and independent. (Which is why I cannot wait to, and I advise you all to read Mona Elthahawy’s new book titled “The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls”). Be bold about your freedom and see how much of a tool it is to fight this oppressive system.
When you own your actions, thoughts, words, and expressions, be ready to be called loud, unnecessary, bossy, bitchy, overdo, oversabi, ashawo, prostitute, etc. You’ll be called names for refusing what is expected of you and for defying, and when you do, you’ll see that you’re really doing something right.
I am in a long term heterosexual relationship with a cis man, but I have to constantly remind myself that because I love him doesn't mean I must reduce myself, curb my vocal independence or avoid calling out his actions and words that are sometimes sexist and patriarchal. He’s still a man with male privileges after all. Once this happens, I call it out and I do so as often as I can. You should do it too. It's scary, but you should too. Love should not bend you into thinking that you have to be careful. Remind him/her and also yourself that “I love you, but I love my womanhood, feminism, freedom, and liberation even more, and I’m not sorry”.
Pick a cause and read/write/speak about it:
I cannot explain in detail how necessary it is to educate yourself. For women like me, we come across men in our lives whose daily mantra is to mansplain everything. We have to be ready, equipped with the right information to counter their illiteracy (if you want to). I make sure I read a minimum of 10 insightful materials daily in relation to feminism, feminists, feminist manifestos and academic pieces on feminism, etc. Its the only way I am also able to write as much as I do on feminism and have now been made a top writer of feminism on Medium (allow me to toot my horn) with 15 articles on feminism so far and many gems dropped on my Twitter page. The point is to be informed!
Information is power and power is what we seek so please read. Also, at any chance you get, speak about feminism. In every conversation, find a way to educate someone, correct someone (or yourself even, after all, we’re still unlearning). Beware of people who are more concerned about everything being a gender war or being labeled as being generalizing and just do the good work. Read, speak, write about what you understand.
Volunteer/advocate for a cause you support:
This tool is a lot more powerful than you can imagine. There are hundreds of organizations that are solving the issues that you care about. I’d like to believe that there is an organization for every feminist action. Choose one, two or three of those and volunteer to. It can be with your money, time or resources. I advise people not to go off starting new ones if you can help it, rather collaborate with existing ones.
Currently, I write for Sanitary Aid for Nigerian Girls and The Consent Workshop. Next year, I hope to do a lot more for other feminist organizations. They cannot silence us if our organizations are in numbers. Its a heavy tool against the patriarchy when they see over a million women advocating against the subjugation of our sisters.
This tool is what might be breaking the movement apart. I find it weird that feminists advocate for people who look like them, kinda like the Suffragettes. Feminism isn't and shouldn't just be about fighting for women like you, or women you like, its about ALL women. One woman’s pain is the pain of the rest of us. Irrespective of race, religion, tribe, sexual orientation, all women need to be free. Although I might sound like a hypocrite because I really don't like to engage with or advocate for footsoldiers. You know why. Other than this, you’ll always find me advocating for trans women, black women, white women, Asian women, Hispanic women, big women, small women, rich women, poor women, Christian women, Muslim women, atheist women, etc. ALL WOMEN. It really hurts the patriarchy when we do this and it should. Let’s come together and advocate for all our suffering women and girls all over the world.
Just a reminder that the feminist movement refers to a series of political campaigns for reforms on issues such as reproductive rights, domestic violence, maternity leave, equal pay, sexual harassment, sexual violence, access to education, etc. all of which fall under the label of feminism and the feminist movement. What must be done will be done. The movement’s priorities vary among nations and communities too.
Feminist writer Anyaato said, “never forget that feminism is not a personality, and it is certainly not a sisterhood or a cult. It is politics. You don’t have to be friends.”
Dear reader, pick a tool or two today and use it to fight aggressively, non-stop and unapologetically.