Learning to Love Ourselves As We Are

How to take action when it comes to self-love

Emiie Rabitoy
Jul 31, 2020 · 5 min read
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I haven’t always struggled with my weight as I do now, but I have always struggled with self-image. I remember being 130 pounds and feeling like I was overweight and unattractive then, despite the fact that I was ghostly thin. I specifically remember choosing not to eat because I didn’t want to gain any more weight. It wasn’t until I met my husband and felt loved as I was that I started eating ‘normally’ and putting on weight. I sure did put it on, though.

In the span of four years, I went from a size six to a size sixteen. I am now in between a size fourteen and eighteen. (Every single pair of pants, shirt, or dress fits differently because sizes vary but I’m still in between that range of sizes.)

Throughout the last year, I have gone from resenting my size to learning to love myself. I think it’s something we all need to do. It doesn’t matter whether you want to love yourself at the size you are, or lose ten pounds and love yourself then, just do what’s best for you.

I don’t think I’m alone in my struggle with weight, how I see myself, and self-love. As I get older, I’m gaining a new perspective.

“We just need to be kinder to ourselves. If we treated ourselves the way we treated our best friend, can you imagine how much better off we would be?”

-Meghan Markle

Learn to Love You

The journey to learning to love yourself at any size can be difficult but I promise you it will be worth it.

A 6-Step Process For Learning How To Actually Love Yourself from MindBodyGreen does a great job of breaking down how you can learn to love yourself. When it comes to moving into the intent to learn, I recommend checking out Insight Timer and meditation. Meditation is a great way to connect with yourself on a deeper level, to leave behind your stresses of the day, and reset your mind.

How to Start Loving Yourself Now from Psychology Today is absolutely amazing when it comes to self-love and learning to love you. It brings up so many great points, like the fact that you can love someone else before you love yourself. Being a parent is a great example of this, even if you don’t feel ideal in your current body, you don’t love your children any less.

Take Action

Though it isn’t necessary, if you feel the desire, take action. I recently realized that I wasn’t making the most healthy decisions, so it’s something I vowed to change. I reached out to the wonderful Abagail Pumphrey of Simply Home KC. Abagail’s program not only introduces you to essential oils, but she includes a month of meal plans and more, and she made eating a healthier diet something that was simple and enjoyable. Included was a Facebook community where I could begin this journey with other people, we were able to ask questions, support, and celebrate each other.

Journaling

Journaling is a great way to take action when it comes to self-love. You can free journal, just write whatever comes to mind, or you can start writing with an end result in mind. If you want to try a more structured style of journaling, I suggest checking out 32 Self-Love Journaling Prompts from Tia Harding. It allows you to be more introspective than you may be normally by asking questions like what are your strengths, what do you need to say no to more often, and what is your biggest dream in life. I would definitely suggest getting a brand new journal to start this journey, and allowing yourself to devote it entirely to getting to know you, and learning to love you.

Prioritize You

When it comes to prioritizing yourself, the options are endless. Taking action like this will be different from a person-to-person basis. For me, self-care and prioritizing myself looks like saying no to things I feel obligated to say yes to, even though I know they’ll exhaust me. It looks like taking a bath with a good book, on a quiet night. If you’re new to taking time for you, it can be overwhelming. 13 Self Care Ideas That Actually Heal Your Mind and Soul from Woman’s Day offers many great ideas to get you started like getting moving (Zumba is great for this) or spending time outside (try going to a park.)

Another great way to take action when it comes to loving you is affirmations.

I’m a huge believer in vision boards, manifestation, and things like affirmations. I think your mind is a powerful tool and can completely change your life. 87 Self Love Affirmations To Improve your Life & Build Your Confidence is full of amazing affirmations that I recommend you say in the mirror, to yourself. I especially love “I choose to stop apologizing for being me.” Pay attention to how many times a day you apologize for something because most are unnecessary. Stop saying sorry for being you!

Or Just Sit Back

Taking action to love you isn’t a necessity. If you want to learn to love yourself slowly, do so. There is nothing saying you have to journal every day, prioritize yourself above everyone else all the time, and be a fitness guru. Sometimes learning to love you is laying in bed with your pets eating potato chips.

The most important thing to remember on this journey is that it’s okay to slip-up. You will have bad days, we all do, but every day is a chance to start again. Don’t give up simply because one day was bad. I’m here to let you know that you’re gorgeous just as you are, and I think you’re beautiful. The world thinks you’re beautiful, you need to do what you need to do, so you know you’re beautiful too. Whatever that may be.

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories…

Emiie Rabitoy

Written by

Emiie Rabitoy is an author assistant who writes about book marketing, advice for authors and the struggles and triumphs of entrepreneurship

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

Emiie Rabitoy

Written by

Emiie Rabitoy is an author assistant who writes about book marketing, advice for authors and the struggles and triumphs of entrepreneurship

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

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