My Letter to a Narcissist’s Ex-Wife
A desperate plea to remedy my pain
Groomed by my narcissistic parents to be exceptionally adept at reflecting and affirming another while lacking a solid sense of self, made me a prime target for narcissistic men. Starving for love I was willing to be a mere reflection, a malleable and compliant source of supply. As in the Greek myth, I became Echo, spellbound by Narcissus.
Over time as I prevailed with therapy and achieved critical milestones, the narcissists I gravitated towards were more polished and covert.
When Joshua and I met I still couldn’t read the cues that would alert me to his perfidious nature. He seemed attentive, down to earth, and ethical. I loved his dog, that he taught kids, and was super smart and handsome. I was smitten.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of how insidious the garden variety covert narcissist is. They mingle their abuse in between acts of generosity, and often employ emotionally manipulative tactics, and passive-aggressive behavior. They are subtle and ambient. Hence, Josh never overtly belittled or harangued me. This made it even more agonizing to identify the source of my distress.
What did sink in was that he had an intentional need to make everything my fault. When he ditched plans and left me in the lurch it was chalked up…
