Six Pieces Of Useless Advice to ‘Get Over It’ After Your Assault
Can’t sleep? Use those extra hours to accomplish things.
After your assault, are you living in constant fear? Are you making everyone else mad when your rage gets directed their way? Well, fear not.
Here are six simple solutions for questions you didn’t even ask. You’re welcome.
1. Not an early bird, but you now wake up at 4:30 a.m., adrenaline having coursed through your body overnight?
Use those extra hours to accomplish things. Go on a run. (Don’t forget your pepper spray, knife ring, and cell phone.) Or work on that novel of yours. (Pro tip: take deep, calming breaths to steady your hands shaking over the keyboard.)
2. Don’t feel safe in your own home?
Take self-defense lessons. Find a Rape Aggression Defense System class at your local police department. No RAD class near you? Or realize that you still wouldn’t survive in a street fight? Get a firearm.
Uncomfortable around guns? No worries, sweetheart. Learn how to effectively prison shank. (Remember, don’t forget your knife at all times, including walks to the fridge.)
3. Asked the police for help but have been refused?
Again, don’t worry, dear. If men have refused to protect you, it means that there really is nothing to worry about. Cops not investigating your assault or subsequent harassment? Give them a break. These things are “hard to prove.” Why would they waste their valuable time? “The detectives are very busy.”
Worst-case scenario, when they find the officer’s card in your jean pocket, they’ll know just who to call.
4. Paralyzed by fear and can’t participate in daily activities?
Easy fixes. Dishes piling up in the sink? Get paper plates. Haven’t responded to job prospects? Or missed important appointments? Let them know you had a (non-descript) personal issue come up. They’ll understand. People are compassionate by nature.
5. Want to learn the Dos and Don’ts on how to talk about your assault?
Do recognize that it’s time for others to speak. It did take place a year ago now, sweetie. Don’t be selfish by constantly taking up space. Do listen to the police Sargent. Use pleases and thank yous. Don’t ask any questions; he might consider that rude.
And don’t forget your nearest and dearest. Don’t worry your mother needlessly. Don’t bother your sister or your friends by constantly bringing it up. It’s such a downer to conversations.
Do be upbeat, and you’ll be surprised how you start to appear better in no time.
6. Have you heard of “Fake It Until You Make It?”
Just because you don’t feel good, doesn’t mean you can’t look good. Apply your lipstick and put on a smile. Remember to pick out your best clothes, as you drink your morning coffee out of a dirty mug. You can look the part, even if you don’t feel it. No one has to be disturbed by what’s going on under the surface.
If this resonated with you, I invite you to share the journey with me as I work on writing my first novel through the chaos of everyday life.