The Assumptions of Being a Feminist
And why I find it hard to always identify as one.
Feminism is a touchy subject for most. For example, the idea that I am a right-wing feminist is outrageous to a good majority before they hear my arguments, and I’m going to try to just explain a little bit about my opinion in this article.
Feminism is supposed to be about female empowerment but sometimes it just makes me feel powerless, especially when I’m next to other women: it makes me feel like I have no other choice than to agree.
This is not an easy article for me to write, and before you go out and criticise me, all I ask is that you read this until the end. I want to make it clear that I will never be able to address everything I want to, and that more articles may come along about this if I feel the need to, but right now, I just want to explain some things.
First of all, to some extent, I believe some feminists have lost sight of what they’re fighting for, or they never agreed with the concept in the first place. Feminism isn’t about forcing women to work, or dictating what their relationship should be like: feminism is about the choice. It’s about allowing women to choose what they want to do with their life, be it marriage, work, college, travel, amongst another million things. It’s about giving them the freedom to do anything without fear of judgment or constraints.
That being said, feminism is also about men: it is about breaking the conception that men can’t cry, and allowing men to be vulnerable too if they want to. It’s about allowing men to have the choice to be sensitive and emotional without worrying about others calling them “too feminine” or “not manly enough.”
THE ASSUMPTIONS OF BEING A FEMINIST
That being said, in the world today, if you identify as a feminist, people immediately assume a million things about you: your political standing, your romantic expectations, your childbearing views, etc.
You see, in most countries, being a feminist links you to left-wing political parties since the movement is usually funded by them. But the first thing to consider is the difference between economic ideology, political ideology, and gender ideology. Though these are interconnected, of course, they are not the same.
When you assume your stance as a feminist, many immediately assume some of the following things:
- You do not want children
- You do not believe in chivalry or in any of the “wooing” things men do to charm women
- You have no interest in having a family
- You do not want or look for love
- You are part of a left-wing movement, agreeing with all or the majority of its economic, social, and political policies
- Anything a conservative does, in your view, is immediately wrong
But I am here to tell you that it isn’t always like this. For example: just because I am a feminist, does not mean I am completely against Trump’s economic policies. Or just because I am pro-choice does not mean I would necessarily abort. And just because I believe in the feminist movement does not believe I do not want to have a husband and children, or that I am not close to my family.
I am not devaluing any of those things, nor am I saying that wanting the opposite is wrong or unethical. I am not saying any of these are my beliefs either. All I’m saying is that it is wrong to assume that just because I believe in gender equality does not mean I agree with all of its connotations.
We need to leave this 20th Century debate on the two extreme political perspectives, stop discussing right vs left wing policies, and learn that the best solution is one that stands in the middle. Balance is everything in life, and we need to strive to find that.
These assumptions are making it harder and harder for a wider spectrum of women to identify as feminists, and we need to change that. If feminism really is about gender equality then we should make it about such: we should not criticise women for any of their choices, regardless of what they may be. We need to respect them, accept them, because in the end, they are their choices, not yours.
You should do what you want with your life, but don’t judge others for not wanting the same things because that is their choice and we need to respect that.
