The Emotional Drain of Loving An Insecure Man
My ex couldn’t accept that I loved him, so he spent his time imagining scenarios in which I had betrayed him
“So where were you?”
At school, like every other day.
“Who did you talk to?”
What do you mean? I talked to lots of people, classmates, professors…
“Did you talk to any men?”
Yes, I did. So? My lab partner is a guy.
“What did you say?”
I stop talking and look down at the meatloaf on my plate. I have fallen into his trap again. He simply stares at me and waits for my answer. This is a game I can’t win. Finally, I answer.
I asked him to hand me the beaker.
He is silent. His brow furrowed. I know that the accusations are forming in his mind. He is stewing in a broth of anger and insecurity, but I refuse to act like I know what he is thinking. If I do, I am simply feeding his paranoia. So I pretend not to notice the anger percolating beneath the surface of his intentional poker face. I take a bite of the meatloaf, pretend everything is fine, and I cheerfully ask about his day.
This is what it’s like to love an insecure man.
