The Hidden Armor of Anger
When to wear it, and how to take it off.
Most people who meet me utter the same line: You’re such a happy person. I smile with them because the truth is, I am. While I’ve endured abuse and pain in my life, I tend to delight in moments, and I have the spirit of a young child encountering everything for the first time. As such, I exude joy.
While I don’t mind being typecast as happy, that label has caused me a great deal of stress this year, as I have become acquainted with my anger.
Understanding anger
Growing up, I was not really allowed to be upset. It’s not that my parents had a list of house rules, with one clearly outlining that children must not show anger. However, exhibiting dissatisfaction, whether it be about a meal I detested or how my mother treated us, often led to more punishment. I didn’t have a pleasurable relationship with pain in those days, so I avoided any emotion that could harm me.
Now, as an adult, not only do I sometimes consider anger a negative feeling, which it’s not — it’s a shift within ourselves that we should acknowledge and seek to understand, but I also associate it with violence.
While I have found myself lounging on anger’s couch, I continually judge myself for how I act in moments when I allow anger…
