The Problem With One-Night Stands
I spent a long time avoiding one-night stands. They made me feel uncomfortable in a way that was difficult to describe. In the end, I figured the uneasiness just came with the territory of being a hopeless romantic.
It turns out, it wasn't about romance. I'm actually quite okay with sleeping with someone I don't love. The reason why I always refused to go home with relative strangers was a different one entirely: I didn’t like the way they treated me.
I thought one night stands equated to being treated like you weren't a person so much as a prize to be won. There was flirting and jokes, but by the end of the night, there was something hanging in the air.
The idea that by going along with the laughter and maybe even the kissing, I had agreed to come home with them.
This implicit understanding was one-sided though. I'd find myself saying no and feeling like I'd done something wrong. Why couldn't I just go along? The disappointed, sometimes even seriously confused looks I got left me wondering if I was a minority. Was I the only one who didn’t believe in sex on a first date?
The question was the same for those who just huffed as for those that asked me directly. We were just having fun, why was I being so difficult?
