When Can I Ask If He Wants Children Too?
As a rough estimate, I’m going with yesterday.
There’s a bizarre thing about dating: we’re sometimes entangled for months or even years before finding out what our partner wants from life.
By the time we do find out, we’re in a pickle. We love them but don’t, say, share their vision of living in a bungalow in Milton Keynes.
In particular, this disconnect happens around the loaded subject of babies. Overwhelmingly, my female friends who want them have delayed discovering whether their partner does too.
Their reasoning goes something like this: “Asking if he wants children now will seem too intense and scare him off. I need to wait (insert arbitrary number here) years/months.”
But there’s an obvious problem with this rationale: it’s treating the men in our lives like children and our own desires as somehow “too much”.
If he’s a mature adult, he’s going to understand why you need to know what he wants from life. He’s not going to run screaming into the night simply because you asked an objective question; if he does, are you sure you want to procreate with him anyway?
Sounds like a terrible idea.
