Why Jada Doesn’t Owe Will Smith An Apology

There are no explanations needed

Matilda Swinney
Jul 17 · 4 min read
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Phil Mccarten/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

Everyone’s been talking about the surprise episode of Red Table Talk where Jada Pinkett Smith and her husband Will Smith discussed their relationship. They even talked about Jada’s relationship with the singer, August Alsina.

It was an interesting interview for sure. In fact, I literally had my fist in my mouth at times. I don’t know if that’s a normal thing to do during awkward moments… but that’s what I did.

It’s always a shame when we get to a point in our lives where we have to apologise or explain ourselves. When there’s a lot of pressure to do this, it can lead to conversations without integrity and a whole load of empty words.

We want to talk our way through the pain but sometimes words just don’t do our mistakes justice. And often we tell people what they want to hear, instead of taking the time to deeply explore how we actually feel.

And least of all does she have to explain herself to a bunch of people who have no idea of the intimate details of her life, soul, or relationship. And although the Red Table Talk interview was extremely honest, we still don’t know all the details. For example, a lot of fans are convinced Will Smith hinted at cheating too during their conversation.

But, the real question is: Why can’t two people explore their sexuality and relationships without judgment from people who don’t know them?

In 2013, Jada told HuffPost during a Facebook Live:

“I’ve always told Will, ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay.’ Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man.”

“Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural.”

“You’re going to be attracted to people. In our marriage vows, we didn’t say ‘forsaking all others’. The vow that we made was that you will never hear that I did something after the fact. ‘If it came down to it, then one can say to the other, ‘Look, I need to have sex with somebody. I’m not going to if you don’t approve of it — but please approve of it’.”

Shouldn’t we all just get over the recent confession, and stop judging? What is it about celebrities that bring the worst out in us anyway? Why do we get so angry and feel a certain entitlement to say whatever we want? We opt for a no holds barred approach, which often spreads hate and a whole lot of negative talk.

But, maybe it’s not that simple. Will Smith looked in pain during the interview. He looked sad. And we love Will Smith. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was a highlight of my childhood. And his more recent motivational talks and YouTube channel are a constant source of inspiration for me and many others.

As fans, we have invested a lot in him and his marriage. So, naturally, we feel disappointed when things aren’t as they seem. We feel as if we know Will Smith. I think this is why some of us write tweets like:

“Jada full of shit. See the thing about women is that when they cheat, they try to justify it and play the victim lmao” @the_chaparrin

There’s a whole lot wrong with that tweet. Am I really going to put that down to innocent fan devotion? After all, he’s grouped all women together and attempted to take the power out of Jada’s words.

In fact, there’s a lot of criticism of Jada’s language in general— entanglement and healing come to mind. But, I truly don’t understand why. Both Will and Jada speak articulately together and use powerful language.

She mentions simply wanting to feel good, “It had been so long since I felt good.” She also insists her relationship with singer August Alsina helped her to progress and learn along her life journey. She stands by her decisions (which were made during an amicable separation between Will and Jada).

Sure, Will Smith has suffered as a result of this. But, I’m sure Jada has too. And I’m positive other challenges have occurred during their marriage, including mistakes Will has made.

Yes, cheating is not pretty. But, it does teach us lessons. Huge lessons. Personally, it taught me how to love myself, how to truly understand what I wanted, and how to make sure I asked for that in my next relationship.

And she does not have to apologise. She has every right to talk about her life and her experiences in whichever way she wants. So, let’s be as open-minded as we can, put our energy into ourselves and challenge any harsh judgment we feel.

By addressing our reactions to specific events, we can further understand ourselves and our emotions. After all, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are on their own life journeys. Let’s leave them to focus on theirs and put our energy into our own.

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories…

Matilda Swinney

Written by

Exploring sex, love, life and mental health | The Startup, Writer’s Cooperative, P.S I Love You, Mind Cafe | Newsletter: https://realtalkaboutsex.substack.com/

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

Matilda Swinney

Written by

Exploring sex, love, life and mental health | The Startup, Writer’s Cooperative, P.S I Love You, Mind Cafe | Newsletter: https://realtalkaboutsex.substack.com/

Fearless She Wrote

This is a space to empower differences, tell our stories, and share our lives together. We will not be silenced. We will be fearless. And we will write.

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