Why the Word Feminism Is Holding Us Back
And why we should keep it anyway.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people telling me they believe in equality, and that it’s the reason they aren’t feminists. To be fair, I used to be one of those people, so I can relate. The word feminism itself is strong, and it implies that we only fight for women’s rights, so of course, people get defensive — and yes, that’s putting it nicely.
But does that mean we need to change the name? Or that feminism isn’t the right word for people looking for gender equality?
I don’t think so. At the very least, feminism is the right word for me.
Feminism is a strong word.
The word feminism is aggressive. I don’t know if it’s the years spent on Twitter or the word itself, but just reading the word feminism, I can almost picture a horde of angry women.
It sort of makes it sound like we are fighting for women’s rights — which we are — and like we’re trying to start a gender war — which we aren’t (unless I didn’t get the memo).
It sounds so strong, and I feel it’s only natural that some people feel threatened by it. A lot of people think feminists are angry women blaming men for everything and generally trying to get revenge on centuries of patriarchy. Maybe even trying to reverse things and only have women in power from now on.
If some people feel that way, they aren’t feminists, but they’re giving all of us a bad rep. And the name feminism is definitely not helping.
If men feel like feminists are only fighting for women’s rights, they will feel threatened. And what does someone do when they feel under attack? They lash out. I’m sure all of you have already heard or seen the word feminazi before. If you haven’t, it means that you’ve never been on Twitter — good for you. (It’s pretty self-explanatory.)
The fact that anyone could compare women fighting for their rights to nazis is more than appalling, but let’s save this debate for another day, shall we?
The word feminism implies that we are women fighting for women’s rights, and this makes it harder for men to relate. Not only is it making it less likely that men will think of themselves as feminists, but it’s also making them want to fight against us.
Now, I know. You may be thinking that anyone who’s a tiny bit curious could just read up on feminism and figure out what’s really going on, but should we really be making it more difficult than it already is? Why are we making it so difficult to understand and to relate?
I used to think I wasn’t a feminist because I didn’t want people to think I was only fighting for women’s rights.
Yes, the term feminism is holding us back, but there’s a reason we’re called feminists, and people need to understand that.
Sexism is mainly about women.
Before anyone starts typing angry comments, I want to make something clear. I’m not saying men are not discriminated against.
Of course, sexism works both ways. We put a lot of pressure on men to be strong, to not show any weakness, to be successful, rich, powerful and so on. Men have been forced into gender roles just as much as women have, and this isn’t without consequences. For instance, men are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women.
That being said, I think it’s important to realise that sexist behaviours affect women more than men. Anti-women ideas are at the root of every type of sexism. This pressure we put on men is a consequence of the way we see women.
Men need to be strong because women are weak. Men need to make a lot of money because women can’t work. Men need to make big decisions because women can’t lead.
Is there any fundamental right that women have had before men?
- Women were only allowed the right to vote in France in 1944.
- Until 2013, women weren’t legally allowed to wear pants in France. I wish it were a joke. It isn’t.
- In 2018 in the US, a woman made 82 cents on average for every dollar a man made.
People who claim feminists aren’t looking for equality because they are fighting for women’s rights are deflecting the issue. This is a cop-out. As long as women have fewer, stronger rights than men, fighting for women will mean fighting for equality, and there’s no way around that.
As long as women have fewer, stronger rights than men, fighting for women will mean fighting for equality, and there’s no way around that.
A lot of people will feel personally attacked by feminists because they feel like they didn’t create the issue. And in some way, that’s true. If there’s anything we can say about sexism, it’s that it was a group effort.
But refusing to accept that women have been, and are being, persecuted is not helping. It’s quite the opposite. If you refuse to accept that women are treated as second-class citizens in this world, then you are part of the problem.
I was part of the problem for a long time, and this is probably what’s driving me to write this.
Going forward.
We can’t solve a problem if we don’t see it or refuse to admit it exists. If we can agree that women’s rights are an issue, it will be much easier to come up with solutions.
I see a lot of men supporting women’s rights, and even admitting that they are feminists. Good on you, we need more people like you.
Men’s rights and women’s rights don’t have to be two separate things.
If you’re on the side of equality, you should be fighting for women’s rights, and you are a feminist. That’s it.
