Will 2021 Go Down as The Year I Hated Myself?
It’s definitely the year of internal struggle
I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten for my mental state until I looked on my own social media pages, tracing back to January. I looked back on an Instagram story on January 2nd.
My husband and I have made it a point to go on a ‘New Year’s date’ together. The story was a selfie that I was particularly proud of, and with it came a caption:
“My mind was at such peace in this moment, which is why I like this photo of myself so much. I have a lot planned for 2021 and I’m in the middle of putting together the framework to bring those goals to fruition. But to be honest, out of all the goals I have, one of the most important to me is keeping this same energy of happiness and peace.”
I’m not even sure what made me want to go back to my archives, but when I went back to that post my heart shattered. The person I was in that moment versus the person I am looking back to is two completely different people. Out of all the big goals I had for this year, I didn’t follow through on any of them.
I couldn’t even maintain the one goal of keeping myself happy and at peace. At that moment, all I could feel was heartbreak for the young woman I was at the beginning of the year.
