Would You Like to Marry My Daughter?
She can cook — and has perfectly straight teeth.
My mother was the first in her family of eight to get married. And as an established, respectable married woman, it was her responsibility to find brides for all six of her brothers.
In the arranged marriage market in Pakistan, the families — ideally the prospective groom’s mother and sisters — take charge.
In the 1990s, when I was growing up, my mother took this responsibility very seriously.
A girl was identified through a telephone chain — a friend of a cousin of a neighbor knew of a 22-year old who had just finished her studies and was ready for marriage.
My mother confirmed that she was pretty, which in local vernacular translated as fair, slim, and tall. Check. She knew how to cook and to keep the house clean. Check and check. Once this entrance exam was cleared, it was time to arrange a home visit.
The home visits were painfully awkward and demeaning, not to mention eye-opening for my young, impressionable mind. My mother would ring the doorbell and introduce herself to the girl’s mother. We would be shown to the drawing-room, which was usually spotless — diligently straightened and…
