So the other day, my girlfriend was reading from her textbook out loud when she came across a line that said, “…he or she…” and then she quickly added, “or they/them… sorry, this book is clearly not up-to-date.”

I sat there in the corner and just shook my head.

Immediately, I thought to myself:

Ugh. Really? She is really going to add something like that?

To me, it felt like one of those ridiculous displays of modern-day “woke” leftism.

She is the type of person many people in my own circles would describe as a “total libtard,” and quite frankly, they wouldn’t necessarily be wrong from the perspective of how she sees and talks about the world.

But the reason this moment affected me so deeply was because it forced me to confront a larger question.

What kind of person is she?

And more importantly:

Why does she think the way she does?

Because my own preconceived notion surrounding all of this transgender and pronoun discourse has always been that it was mostly ideological nonsense.

All this discussion about transgender people, LGBTQ+, pronouns, gender identities, and so on always seemed to me like some massive overcomplicated social performance — a strange modern attempt at redefining reality.

I believed people who heavily emphasized these things were often driven by an exaggerated sense of empathy and morality.

That they wanted to appear emotionally evolved and morally superior to the rest of society.

That they were obsessed with inclusivity and support for anyone deemed marginalized, oppressed, or different.

But at the same time, I also noticed what I felt was a major contradiction.

These same people who preach acceptance are often extremely hostile toward anybody who disagrees with them.

They are quick to condemn, vilify, and attack people who challenge their worldview or refuse to adopt the same language and ideology.

In many cases, they become deeply aggressive and emotionally reactive when confronted by alternative perspectives.

But anyway… that discussion is probably for another piece entirely.

The point is that this interaction with my girlfriend made me begin to genuinely reflect on all of this.

I started asking myself:

Where did this pronoun movement even come from?

Because in my own mind, I had always assumed this stuff was relatively new.

I thought it had to be something that emerged sometime in the 2000s or maybe the 2010s as a result of modern media, politics, and progressive ideology.

My belief was that people only adopted these ideas because the culture and media told them to.

I believed people were essentially being conditioned into thinking that acceptance of these ideologies was what made them morally good people.

That if you didn’t agree, then you were labeled ignorant, hateful, oppressive, or backwards.

And so I viewed many people as gullible participants in a larger cultural movement — people who adopted these beliefs because they wanted to fit in socially and feel morally validated.

So naturally, I looked into it.

And what I found honestly surprised me.

I discovered that singular “they/them” pronouns have actually existed in the English language for hundreds of years.

“People have used ‘they/them’ as a singular, gender-neutral pronoun for over 600 years, dating back to Middle English as early as 1375.”

I also found:

“The English singular ‘they/them’ originated in the 14th century as a gender-neutral pronoun to refer to someone whose gender was unknown or irrelevant. This usage appears in Shakespeare’s plays and Jane Austen’s novels.”

And honestly… that hit me.

Because suddenly I realized:

These people have always been here.

They didn’t suddenly appear out of nowhere because of TikTok or politics or modern liberalism.

They have always existed.

The difference is that society historically did not openly acknowledge them.

And when I thought about that, I imagined that in earlier generations these people were probably just dismissed, mocked, ignored, or viewed as “freaks.”

Society likely knew they existed but simply shoved them to the margins.

At the same time though, I am also sure there were circles of acceptance.

I am sure there were people who understood them.

People who realized they were still just human beings — different perhaps, unconventional perhaps, but still human.

People who recognized that all they were really trying to do was express themselves honestly.

And I imagine there were those who simply thought:

So what?

Who cares if somebody expresses themselves differently?

Who cares if somebody does not conform to what society defines as “normal”?

At the end of the day, they are still being themselves.

And there is something deeply human about that.

But today, things feel different.

Now these issues exist at the center of politics and culture.

Gender identity, sexuality, pronouns, and personal expression have become major political talking points.

They have become part of a larger ideological war — identity politics.

Political parties now build entire narratives around these issues.

The Democrats position themselves as defenders of marginalized groups and social progress, tying modern gender politics into the legacy of civil rights movements.

And what makes all of this even more ironic is that many prominent political figures in the 1990s and early 2000s openly opposed things like gay marriage.

But again, I digress.

The larger realization I began to have was this:

My girlfriend genuinely sees these people.

She acknowledges their existence.

She wants them included in everyday life and everyday language.

And honestly?

That is fair.

That is completely fair.

Now for me personally though, I still feel very old school.

I do not naturally think about pronouns constantly.

I do not feel the need to heavily modify my language in order to acknowledge that transgender people exist.

I already know they exist.

I do not personally believe in overemphasizing political correctness in every conversation.

Now, if I were around somebody who preferred certain pronouns, of course I would try my best to respect them and treat them how they would want to be treated.

But at the same time, I also recognize how conditioned I am.

It is difficult for me to suddenly flip a switch overnight and completely reinterpret language and identity after being raised with a certain understanding of biology, gender, and social norms.

And yes, sometimes it is confusing.

If I see somebody who appears biologically male or biologically female, and then I am told they are actually the opposite gender or perhaps no gender at all, my mind instinctively reacts with confusion.

I think:

Hm… that’s strange.

Because even if somebody identifies differently, part of my conditioning still sees what I originally perceived.

But then again… there are situations where somebody becomes so passable that my perception changes entirely.

And in those moments, I begin to think differently.

I begin to realize that perhaps a trans woman is not “a man pretending to be a woman,” but rather a completely unique form of womanhood.

Not a woman in the traditional biological sense perhaps — but a woman in the sense of identity, self-perception, transformation, and lived experience.

Someone who understands that while they may have been born biologically male, their internal experience of self feels entirely different.

And honestly?

Trans people are still people.

Even if they challenge traditional biological or medical definitions, they are still conscious human beings trying to understand themselves and express themselves honestly.

And maybe our language itself is more flexible than we think.

Because what exactly is a “man”?

What exactly is a “woman”?

Are we talking about dictionary definitions?

Biological definitions?

Social definitions?

Psychological definitions?

Identity?

Metaphor?

Experience?

Because if we ask ten different people “what it means to be a man” or “what it means to be a woman,” we will probably receive ten completely different answers.

Those answers will all emerge from conditioning, culture, experience, upbringing, religion, society, family, and personal psychology.

They are all images.

Stories.

Interpretations.

And when I really think deeply about that, I begin to realize how unstable and subjective many of these concepts actually are.

At one level, yes, biological reality exists.

I understand that.

I understand practical distinctions in medicine, reproduction, physical anatomy, and so on.

But outside of those practical realities, I begin wondering:

Why are we all so obsessed with categorizing and defining each other?

Why do we need such rigid identities?

Why are we so attached to labels?

Because ultimately, many of these definitions are psychological constructions.

They are images we collectively agree upon.

They are ideas.

And all I am really saying is that maybe those ideas are not as universally fixed as we pretend they are.

But going back to my original point — because once again I have digressed — I think what fascinates me most is that I genuinely want to understand these people now.

Not politically.

Not ideologically.

Humanly.

Because I was never exposed to this world growing up.

I barely even knew transgender people existed.

Truthfully, I think the first time I even became aware of people like this was through pornography.

So for me, this entire world always felt distant, strange, foreign, and difficult to understand.

But now?

I would actually want to sit down and have conversations with transgender people.

I would want to understand what it was like growing up inside their body.

What kind of suffering or confusion they experienced.

What it feels like to finally express themselves honestly.

What it feels like to exist in a society where many people fundamentally do not understand them.

Because that is where I truly find myself now.

Curious.

Reflective.

Trying to understand.

And yes, I fully acknowledge that I have been conditioned.

Conditioned by culture.

Conditioned by family.

Conditioned by society.

Conditioned by politics.

Conditioned by masculinity.

Conditioned by language.

Conditioned by the environment I grew up in.

But at the same time, I also do not believe it is necessary to participate in an endless psychological war over identity politics.

These people exist whether others approve of them or not.

And honestly, who cares if some people refuse to adapt their language?

Who cares if certain people remain stuck in older ways of thinking?

Their minds are already made up.

You cannot force transformation upon people.

But what society can do is continue educating people.

Continue exposing people to perspectives and experiences they previously never understood.

And maybe over time, people naturally soften.

Naturally evolve.

Naturally become more aware.

But I also have another thought that emerges alongside all of this.

And that thought is this:

Are all people who identify this way truly transgender?

Or are some people simply deeply confused about identity, expression, and belonging?

Because I think it is completely okay for somebody to be a man who does not fit traditional masculinity.

And completely okay for somebody to be a woman who does not fit traditional femininity.

It is okay to be feminine as a man.

It is okay to be masculine as a woman.

It is okay to crossdress.

It is okay to have alter-egos.

It is okay to express yourself however you want.

It is okay to embody different energies and identities.

But I think what sometimes happens is that society pressures people into feeling they must define themselves within rigid categories.

That they must identify as something.

Declare themselves as something.

Belong somewhere.

Attach themselves to a label.

But perhaps part of the deeper issue is that we are all overly identified with our minds and bodies.

We desperately want certainty.

We want definitions.

We want identity.

But at the deepest level, maybe none of us can truly be contained by language.

Because at the end of the day, we are human beings.

We are conscious life itself.

We are living awareness.

We are experiences unfolding through time.

We are not merely our labels.

Not merely our bodies.

Not merely our identities.

We are something deeper.

Something larger.

Something sacred.

We are expressions of life itself.

And every single one of us exists within the same universal reality.

We are made of the same matter.

The same dust.

The same atoms.

The same universe.

The same life force.

And so I think that is where I ultimately arrive.

I am not suddenly becoming some radically politically correct activist.

I am probably never going to be the type of person who instinctively blurts out “or they/them.”

But I am becoming somebody who can acknowledge:

Hey.

These people exist.

And their experience is real.

And maybe it is actually a good thing that society has reached a point where people are finally able to express themselves more honestly.

Maybe this is simply another stage in human social evolution.

Another step toward greater understanding.

Another step toward greater compassion.

Another step toward a society becoming more psychologically aware of the complexity of human identity and experience.

So from now on, I think I will simply accept my girlfriend for who she is.

I do not need to become her.

I do not need to think exactly like her.

But I can understand where she is coming from.

And honestly?

I respect it.

That is all I really have to say.

I hope you enjoyed this piece of writing.

Farewell.

Until next time.

I want to write, but I don’t know what to write about.

The only things I know how to write are my thoughts and feelings - like journaling.

I want to be productive and feel like I’m doing something.

I think, “Hey! I can write on Medium!” despite not even knowing what to write about.

I want to write consistently, but there’s nothing on my mind.

They say you should offer solutions to your readers, but I don’t have solutions to my own problems.

Partially, all I want to do is complain… well, I guess that’s what I’m doing right now.

When it comes to building a profile and having a “brand”, it’s important to give your audience a flavor of what you’re writing about. It seems as though most profiles on here are geared toward a particular audience, theme, or topic.

But I don’t know what to name my page, what to make it about, or what to write about. All I know is that I suffer every day, and I need an outlet; I need a solution.

I’m dying to be put to work. To work for something that makes me feel good. Or, at the very least, be something that I don’t absolutely hate doing.

It appears to me that I usually focus on the things I don’t like. I think about what’s wrong with something, why it might be a problem, and the negative feelings I experience. I think about all that seems to be wrong, and rarely — if ever — focus on the good.

To me, it seems pointless to focus on the good. Maybe that’s what my big problem is after all. I’m solely focused on what’s going wrong, what I don’t like, what makes me feel or think a certain way (in a negative light).

I’m consumed with a shitty outlook on life. Especially regarding the situation I’m in. Simple tasks like taking care of myself and responsibility feel like a giant burden.

When it comes to doing something or having an idea, my initial response is to criticize, point out what’s wrong, and how it’s not good enough. I ruin something for myself before I even do it.

Perfect example: Medium. Rather than just saying fuck it and posting, I make it a much bigger obstacle than it is.

So, what do I want to do? Well, I like writing. In the sense of being able to communicate with myself and others. I like blogs, especially Medium, because they are an outlet for people who want to share their writing.

But then it turns into, “I need a title.. I need it to be catchy… I need a proper format… I need a profile that supports what I’m writing…”

Whatever. Fuck it.

I’ll just write, post, and say fuck it.