Not thinking of the friend
who never calls, the fish
smell coming from the freezer.

Noticing the gray hair
above my left ear.

Hating the bread-and-butter pickles
you bought — 
(never ate)

My mind should stray
to the unpaid bills,
past due notices.
Instead I wonder

about the man
who must call
to tell me
I am past due.
What does he do
when he gets home at night?

It’s better this way, he says to me
as I toss off another, my head
upon my knees. There is time if,
just for tonight, you’ll stand up
from your desk. Put the pen away.

I take this man’s hand, return to bed.
There is nothing more I can pass on
to my dead, moldering in their graves.
I peer into photos, stepping through
their framed life, out into my own.

They had left behind the same kind
of books I am building today, ones
I will leave to each of the children
I don’t have, the ones who I know
will have to watch me slip away.

Certainly the flowers,
the blades did not see?

She stretched,
taking not the smallest
notice of anything else?

I should have liked
teaching.

Seattle,
open your water ways,
don’t be modest.

Morning in Seattle
splashed across my cheek;
salty ears, colored eyes

Today, Seattle,
I had nothing he’d miss.

Afternoon in Seattle
I walked along,
slowly.

I last saw Seattle
undressed before a window,
alone

Tonight in Seattle
a couple parted on the corner

The drag
of your finger
along my leg

Will often result
in a space where
I dispose of the mask

To let your breath
blow back my hair

A woman weaves into
the white ring
of her coffee mug.

His head pulls back
up to the light above:
What do you want?

Her chair falls away.
The mug tips over.
She leaves a single

swatch of blood.
His finger wipes over it,
brings it to his lips.

The first tumult of joy

was over
was invitation enough
was so odd a mixture
was less difficult to develop
was discontented
was visiting and new
was then disclosed in the following manner
was just what he wished
was what she had expected all the while
was sure you loved

was shut
was spent

was highly favourable
was quite young

was a certain step towards falling in love

was soon afterwards dispatched
was quite disconcerted
was good-looking
was much handsomer
was looked at with great admiration
was lively
was angry
was decided
was the proudest
was sharpened
was as much gratified

was going down

was very much flattered
was not convinced
was now only established
was by no means unwilling
was endeared
was the superior
was by no means deficient
was clever
was at the same time haughty
was sure
was continually giving offense
was sufficiently characteristic
was little beauty and no fashion
was therefore established
was all attention to everybody

was absolutely necessary

Today I am parked,
I’m an Italian village.

Yesterday afternoon,
so methodically, I saw
yellow is pretty on red

A hardened,
quiet place.
Experience.

The full extent of yellow,
anytime.

I can
because I love to
need
want to

To

find

If your kale wilts,
make the fucking dumplings.

If your broccoli
looks really dry
just make the fucking dumplings.

Set aside the little pieces
the spice
the mixture

Are you getting soft?
Is there still some bite?

Keep stirring.
Keep that shit around.
Look
Whatever…
Make the dumplings.