Let’s face it — no matter how nice you are or how much you give to your woman, she’ll always find some little thing about you that doesn’t satisfy her. Maybe you’re just not romantic enough, maybe you’re just not communicating enough, maybe you spend too much time with your friends, or maybe you spend too much time at home… I could go on and on about the things your woman may complain about you.

As a man, you want to keep your woman happy. But of course, you don’t want to lose yourself in trying to do every little thing for her just to keep her satisfied. What will actually make her happy is for you to understand her and be the man in the relationship. If you don’t cater to all her whims, it will make her respect you more. Here are some things you can do…

1. Be Decisive. This doesn’t mean that you always need to make the decisions in the relationship, but being a man means being decisive. You need to know how to make good decisions and accept responsibility for any outcome. Though a woman doesn’t want anyone trying to control her actions, she always doesn’t want to be left with making all the decisions in the relationship.

Of course, understanding the other person’s viewpoint is essential to making a good decision. So to be the man, you must also get her input first before deciding on something.

2. Be a leader. To have a good relationship with your woman, you need to take leadership. Your woman won’t hold you in high regard if you do nothing and wait for someone else to solve the problem.

If you hold back because you’re afraid of being criticized, then you’re playing it safe and not acting like the man in the relationship. A man should be able to handle problems and come up with solutions. Of course, it’s never wrong to ask for help when you need it.

3. Be the strong one. And I don’t mean physical strength. To be the strong one in the relationship, you need to have control over yourself. When you’re angry with your woman, for example, you should be able to control your anger and not physically hurt her, as this will make you a coward, hitting people who are smaller and more defenseless than you are.

Real strength comes from the strength of your mind to keep your passions in check and protect those who are weaker. This makes you the man in the relationship, a strong one.

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A week ago, my best friend asked me to meet up. She wants some advice because she and her boyfriend had a massive fight. This is the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with but despite how much she loves him, during that argument, she have said some of the most hurtful things to him.

Words CUT people, and because we know it does, we use it often as a weapon to hurt those that we love the most.

But that comes with a price!

Think about the times when you have said terrible things to your partner and knew that you actually meant the exact opposite of everything you said.

We do silly things like threaten our partner that we’ll leave, or that they should leave, that we’re unhappy with them, that they’re not good enough, that we’re not good enough etc.

Words that although are NOT true, when said, it actually becomes and feels REAL.

When we are fearful in a relationship, we tend to project OUR insecurity onto our partners. We start to make THEM doubt the relationship.

The horrifying thing is, once the seed of doubt is planted, we start to look for ways to justify it or to make it real.

It’s kind of like having this dialogue with your partner:

You: “I don’t feel loved by you, you don’t love me anymore.”

Them: “I did love you until you said that. Now maybe I don’t love you as much as I thought.”

This is projecting…

And it is probably one of the most damaging things you can do in a relationship.

TRUST keeps a relationship together, but its courage WE NEED to trust our partners in the first place.

The courage to love even when we don’t feel loved.

Imagine when you’re down, feeling unappreciated and unloved, to actually go to your partner, look into their eyes, hold them close to you and say:

“I love you more today than I ever have.”

Or

“I appreciate you and love you so much.”

When you project LOVE onto your partner, you’ll receive LOVE back.

Yes it works the other way too.

Have you just been friend zoned? Are you trying to figure out how to react in order to get the girl you like to want you too? Don’t worry, I have all you need to know in order to get out of the “zone”.

Here’s how the story usually goes: You meet a great girl, you’re nice, you say all the right things, you are attentive and caring, and you treat her right. Yet, somehow, some way, she just isn’t into you. You’ve been friend zoned.

Why?

What went wrong?

There’s a thousand things that could have made your relationship go from potential to pal, but instead of analyzing what happened, let’s figure out what to do from here.

The hard truth is something wasn’t right for you to become friend zoned.

Women are all different and they all have different needs. Some women need their men to be strong and secure, others like their men to be a little softer and malleable. I can’t tell you what your girl wants, but I can tell you how to react to being her “friend”.

Don’t Whine About It

No matter what kind of man your woman likes, I guarantee that she does not like a whiner. That’s right, no whining. If you start whining at her for not going out with you, or begging her to be your girl, then she’s going to step all over you. You will lose her if you whine at her. Man-up and deal with this with class.

Be Cool

Don’t lose your temper, don’t pout or act like she’s the worst human on the planet for turning down your advances. You have to be cool. You have to pretend it didn’t affect you. I know, it’s not easy is it? Trying to ignore your trampled heart is much tougher than it sounds (I’ve been there, guy), but you’ve got to play it cool and act as if she’s right and you’re completely fine. If you break down now she will always remember you as that weak man who broke down and you will be forever in the friend zone.

Start Dating Other People

Date other people. This serves two purposes. First, it shows her that you’re were not hurt by her turn down, and second it shows her that you’re a desirable match. They say men like competition, but women do too. If she sees you with another woman, she’s going to wonder why she didn’t look at you that way.

Be Sparse

You know, I’m willing to bet that you were always there for her. No matter what time day or night, you were willing, even eager, to be at her doorstep with whatever she wished for. That’s a great thing for a friend, but if you’re trying to get out of the friend zone, then you need to make yourself a little sparser. Be there for her when she really needs you, of course, but don’t be at her beck and call. Show her that she doesn’t own you, and that you have a life outside of her, and she will want you back!

Show Her What She’s Missing

Of course, you need to show her what she’s missing, too. Now that you have other women to date, don’t be your usual casual comfortable (sloppy) self. You need to dress for success. You don’t have to wear a suit and tie, but you need to comb your hair, put on a little cologne, and be presentable. Wear clean clothes (not three day old jeans) and show a little style. After all, you have to look like someone she would want to date, not someone who slept on her couch.

Still be a Nice Guy

No matter what you do, don’t stop being who you really are! You know that nice guy you are? She loves that about you. Being a friend is a special thing, and the best relationships are those with someone who is your best friend.

Also, if you start being a jerk now she’s going to completely forget your entire relationship. She won’t be your friend, you won’t get to see her or hang out with her, and you’ll just be another jerk in her book. Don’t be that guy. Be you.

Give Her Breathing Room

She’s probably having a few feelings of her own about you confessing your love and her having to friend zone you, so give her a little bit of room to breathe. If she says she needs time to think, give her time to think. Smile when you see her, say hi of you think it’s okay, but wait and let her calm down before coming back into her life.

Be the Guy She Wants to be Around

I know you feel sad and depressed, but don’t be that guy. She really needs you to be happy as always. In fact, you need to be the happy guy for yourself. Happiness is a magnet and you’ll find that not only will she want to be around you, but others will want to be around you as well when you’re happy. Be happy and be upbeat, don’t be a downer.

Wait a While and Try Again

My last piece of advice to you when you’ve been friend zoned is to wait a while and try again. The length of time to wait is definitely based on the individual, but don’t move in with this too fast. It could take months, it could take years, but if you still love her then you’ll have to try again. Your relationship will be different after the first time she friend zones you, if you take my advice you could become closer together. You deserve to give it one more try when you think she might be ready to see you as more than a friend.

If she doesn’t, then be thankful you’re still a friend. I can tell you that I love and cherish my male friends more than anything because they are always the ones who make me feel safe, beautiful, and loved. Boyfriends may come and go, but a friend is forever. You’re more important to her than you could ever imagine.

Are you jumping back into the dating scene? Are you having a hard time getting a second date? Maybe you’re just not sure what to do? Here are ten tips on making a good first impression on a first date.

Dating is difficult, and the older we get the more we tend to judge our dates. For instance, I’m much pickier about how a man acts than I would have been five or ten years ago. While this might sound like an anomaly, it is, in fact, quite common to be pickier with time. We learn to know what we like and what we don’t like in a partner and how someone acts on a first date is key to whether or not we give them a second chance.

I’m not saying you have to be prefect on a first date, not at all. All I’m saying is that there are some deal breakers you really want to avoid.

If you want to be sure to make a good first impression, then these ten tips will help. It’s not just for guys, either, women need to know how to act on a date in order to keep a guy’s attention, so listen well ladies and gents.

Dress Nice and Appropriately

Look clean. If you haven’t showered, smell like sweat, and are still wearing yesterday’s clothes then you’re not going to get another date I guarantee it. Of course, you also don’t need to wear a tux or evening dress to a casual Italian restaurant. Use your brain and dress cleanly, modestly (don’t show off all your goods just yet), and make sure you smell good.

Use Your Manners

Don’t be that person who chews with their mouth open, belches at the table, or doesn’t tip the waitress. Use your manners! If you’re a guy, open the door for your date, if you’re a woman, make sure to thank your date for opening the door and buying you dinner. Manners show good breeding (your mom was right all along).

Ask Open Ended Questions

One of the reasons I detest online dating is because I tend to judge men way too harshly on their conversation skills and grammar. I hate bad grammar, it’s the quickest way to turn me off. Next to that, I hate when I’m trying to hold a conversation with someone and they don’t converse back. Ask each other open ended questions, don’t just answer your date’s questions without replying and asking them one in return.

Be Interested in the Other Person

To be a good date you have to actually be interested in what the other person has to say. I once spent an hour and a half listening to someone talk about their fish collection. Was I miserable? Absolutely. Did I engage in the conversation and make him feel comfortable? Of course I did, that’s what a good date does. I didn’t see him again because I found the entire date too tedious (he didn’t ask about me…it was all about him), but I was still a good date. That’s what you’re aiming for.

Don’t Drink Too Much

You should not, under any circumstances, get sloshing drunk on a first date. You can have a glass of wine with dinner or a casual beer at the pub, but stop at one. One is your limit.

Don’t Overeat

On the other hand, you shouldn’t overeat on your date either. I did this once, and the guy looked at me in horror. I’m a nervous eater and it was a blind date. Also, I was bored out of my mind and eating to stay awake. Listen, while I’m on the subject, don’t be a boring date. You don’t have to be the life of the party but you do have to show your date that you’re alive. Eat, of course, but don’t overindulge.

Watch Your Language

I’m notorious for being a road rage driver. I will say words that could make a sailor blush when I’m in the car. However, on a date, you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Later in the relationship when you’ve become more comfortable with each other, it’s okay to let out your dark side, but for now keep the language G-Rated.

Be Optimistic

I have a hard time dealing with sadness, and I don’t want to deal with a date who thinks life sucks. Of course it sucks sometimes, that’s life. This weekend alone I found out I have to get new axles on my car, my washing machine broke in the middle of the soak cycle, and I have some unknown ailment. Guess what I’m doing Monday? You got it, fixing the car, waiting on the washing machine repair guy, and going to the doctor. I’m miserable right now because I can’t drive and I can’t wash my clothes (plus this whatever is wrong with me thing), but would I ever tell my date all this? Not exactly.

I would say “Can you believe what happened to me this weekend?” but I would not say “I wanted to curl up into fetal position and cry like a little girl.” I would portray an optimistic soul to my date.

Also, don’t go giving all of your life grievances on a first date. I’m chatting with a guy now who has told me more of his life story than I am comfortable knowing. We haven’t even had a first date yet!

Please, leave some mystery and lose the misery.

Don’t Get Handsy

Do not assume your date wants you to grope and manhandle them…this goes for you too, ladies.

Walk Beside Your Date

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a date walks in front of me. It’s rude and inconsiderate. Walk beside me so I know we’re on an equal level. Walk beside me so that I know you’re interested in what I have to say. Do not ever walk in front of me because you will not get another date. It’s that simple. This goes back to that “use your manners” speech above.

Now that you know how to make a good first impression, tell us, what is your biggest pet peeve?

Are you dating a guy who isn’t exactly a “gentleman”? Is your man a diamond in the rough? Are you trying to class him up a notch? If this sounds like you, then you need these ten tips on how to turn your guy into a gentleman .

Three hundred years ago men were gentleman by nature. Even the art of war was gentlemanly. To be honest, men were still gentlemen in the 1950’s. Society has changed a lot over the past few decades, and while some of those changes have been wonderfully helpful to women everywhere…some of those changes have not. The fact that men don’t feel the need to be “gentlemen” anymore is definitely not a good change.

While it might seem like your belching, tank top wearing, frat boy of a boyfriend will never be classy enough to introduce to your dad, there are ways you can make him into a gentleman. The ten tips will not only turn your guy into a more refined person, but he won’t even realize you’re doing it.

1. Force Him to Dress Up

My first love wore shirts that were held together with safety pins. No joke, ladies. It was horrifying trying to take him out in public. You have to put your foot down and make him wear nice clothes. Okay, he might not be willing (or possibly even capable) of looking like he stepped right out of a J. Crew catalog, but he should at least own pants without holes and shirts that aren’t flannel. When he tries to go out with you looking like he just stepped out of a hard Rock concert, tell him he has to change his clothes or go on without him. Don’t accept his terrible wardrobe, and if he doesn’t have anything good then you might have to go get him something.

2. Wait for Him to Open the Door

Don’t walk in front of him, walk beside him and make sure he opens the door for you. Pause in front of the door and smile at him sweetly and ask if he’ll open the door for you please. Start out doing this when your hands are full and then eventually he’ll start opening the door even when you’re hands are free. My mom has all of us trained (even me) to open the car door for her, she’ll stand there and wait until one of us actually opens the passenger side door. We learned quickly she hates waiting.

3. Remind Him to Say Please

If your guy is the kind to say “Honey, grab me a sandwich, will you?”, then take it upon yourself to make him into more of a gentleman by telling him to “say please”. Do it in a cute, teasing manner the first few times, then smile and lift an eyebrow at him until it just becomes second nature to the man.

4. Remind Him to Say Thank You

Getting a man to say thank you is a little different, usually it takes trickery. I don’t recommend forcefully reminding your guy to say thank you until he’s reached the point of using the above manners automatically, and then you shouldn’t tell him to say the words, you should remind him that you would “just like a little appreciation once in a while for all the things you do for him”. Lay some soft guilt on the man.

5. Hold Fancy Dinner Parties

If you want to bring out the best in your man, you have to show him some gentlemanly examples. Host some serious dinner parties with your friends where your man has to dress his bast and can be around other guys who are on their “best behavior”

6. Go to Nice Places

Going out for pizza every night is always the easiest dinner option (and you don’t have to dress your best), but every once in a while force your man to show his gentlemanly side by making him dress up and take you out to a fancy dinner. Believe me, when he is put in the position to treat you like a queen, he will want to do his best to make you proud.

7. Be the Example

You can’t exactly turn your man into a gentleman by not being a lady. Show him your best side too by practicing the same rules. Say please and thank you, dress up for an evening out to dinner, and be the lady every gentleman deserves. This works both ways.

8. Don’t Reward Bad Behavior

If your guy is sitting around belching and eating with his fingers, then you can’t exactly change his manners if you’re laughing it off. Don’t make light of his bad behavior, it’ll only encourage him to continue his old habits.

9. Don’t Accept his “It’s a Guy Thing” Excuse

One of the most common excuses men use for bad behavior is “It’s a guy thing”. Okay, I’ll admit, there are definitely some “guy things” out there, but being rude and obnoxious is not one of them. Your man is quite capable of being a gentleman, with very little work, if he really wants to be one. If he doesn’t want to be a gentleman then you’ll know how he really feels about you. All men want their women to love and respect them, and if he’s a real man who really loves you then he’ll be the gentleman you deserve.

10. Appreciate His Good Gestures

Just as much as you don’t want to reward bad behavior when trying to turn your man into a gentleman, you also don’t want to forget to appreciate when he’s genuinely trying to do the right thing. He won’t get it perfect for a while, but you need to encourage and appreciate him by saying thank you to him for holding the door open, or for refraining from talking your best friend’s guy into a belching competition during that fancy dinner party. Admire him when he’s dressed nice for you and genuinely show him how much you appreciate his gestures. Your man will be a gentleman in no time!

Are you really into your guy? Does he still give you butterflies in your stomach and make you swoon when he smiles? Do you ever wonder if it’s Love or Attraction? Here’s how you know.

All too often we confuse love and lust. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times it’s happened to me. Over the years (and through many mistakes), I’ve come to learn when it’s really love and when it’s just sex or wishful thinking.

Believe me, it isn’t always easy to decipher.

One thing is for sure though, you can have attraction without love, but you cannot have real love without attraction. So the trick is, to imagine yourself with your man if the sex wasn’t there. Also, ask yourself the following questions.

How often do you Spend Quality Time Together?

If you and your guy spend every waking moment having sex, then there’s not a lot of room for getting to know each other. The conversations you have in your afterglow moments do not count! How often do you and your guy just spend time together? How many days a week do you enjoy conversations and being in each other’s company? How often do you talk? If you say never, then it’s not love.

How Much do You Know About His Past?

Everyone has a past, and everyone has their secrets, but you still need to know something about the man you love. I realized I wasn’t truly in love with my ex the moment I realized I knew absolutely nothing about his past. I didn’t know who he had been before me, and that really makes a difference in understanding who he would be while he was with me.

Do You know His Friends and Family?

I once dated a guy for two years and never met any of his family. I’d never been to his house. I’d met a few of his friends and THEY had been to his house, but not me. That’s another very obvious sign it’s only attraction. Any man who loves you will want to show you off. If you’ve been dating a while and don’t know his friends or family, then there is a huge problem in your relationship.

Are You Comfortable Telling Him Anything?

You have to be able to talk to your guy. Okay, you might not actually tell him everything about yourself, but the option should still be there. If you do not trust your man enough to be able to tell him about your past, then it’s not love. Love and trust are indivisible.

Are You Happy Even When in a Sexual Slump?

Even the best relationships have sexual slumps. You’ll now its only attraction if you’re just not interested in seeing him when he’s not in the mood to have sex. People who love each other want to be in each other’s company even when the spice dies down.

How Similar are Your Views?

This question is very important when you’re trying to decide if it’s love or if it’s just attraction. People who have opposing views on life, very rarely work out. Sure, it’s true that opposites attract, but that’s the thing…it’s only attraction. If you’re an optimistic, monogamous, caring person who wants to settle down and raise a family, and he’s a pessimistic playboy who doesn’t believe in marriage…well, it’s just not going to work out.

Do You Agree With His Actions?

If your guy acts like a jerk to the waitress, doesn’t hold the door open for you, treats others as if they’re lower than he is, and is otherwise disagreeable in his actions, then you shouldn’t be together. I was briefly married to a man who, after a dinner out, told me to go and wash my hands before getting in his car. We were already married. That’s when I realized it wouldn’t work. Mu hands were not dirty and he loved his car more than he loved me. I just couldn’t respect that.

Do You Agree With His Words?

How does your guy speak? Is he polite or does he use derogatory terms that churn your stomach? Last week I had a date with a man who actually used the derogatory words to describe a few women. I have no tolerance for a man who degrades women in any way. He also used terms I found racist and questionable. If you can’t stand the way he speaks, then it is not love. This goes back to respecting someone.

On a Logical Level Can You See Him in Your Future?

Look past his gorgeous eyes and his flawless skin. Look beyond that lopsided smile and full wallet. Look at your man as a whole. Can you really imagine yourself with him for the rest of your life? Everyone has their flaws (I hope you recognize that he does too), but if there are some things he does that nag deep inside your heart, then it probably isn’t really love, it’s just attraction with this man.

Do You Ever Long for Someone Else?

When I’m in love I am completely monogamous, even the idea of lusting after another man makes me nauseated. I might see a good looking movie star, of course, but I’m not going to go out and try to hook up with some other guy. Most often, people who are in love just don’t have eyes for anybody else. They don’t desire their hot neighbor and they don’t notice when the Barista is flirting with them. It goes beyond that, though. If you have an emotional affair on your man, then perhaps you’re not really in love with him.

The ingredients to love are trust, common ideals, attraction, and intellectual stimulation. Trust comes from knowing someone’s past and attraction usually increases when you fall in love. So make sure that it isn’t just a passing fancy before you commit yourself to this person.

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Is your man being quieter than usual? Has your guy seemed to become emotionally withdrawn and won’t let you into his thoughts? Are you wondering how to get past this? Here’s what to do when your man emotionally withdraws.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when he or she needs to be alone. Whether they physically need to be alone to reflect on their life and their own ideas, or whether they emotionally need to be alone in order to just collect themselves after a trying experience, when your man emotionally withdraws it isn’t always easy to know what to do.

Here’s how to handle it when your guy isn’t able, or ready, to say what’s on his mind and in his heart.

Give Him Some Space

Many women make the mistake of trying to keep constant contact with their guy when he becomes emotionally withdrawn, but you’re only going to push him further away like that. In order to best help your man, you need to give him some space and some time to think. Let him try and sort it out on his own. Men have delicate egos, and they don’t always want to feel as if they’re being “fixed”. Give your guy some breathing room.

Test the Waters

If, after a few days, your man still seems to be emotionally withdrawn, test the waters a little bit. Don’t try too hard to get him to talk, but simply ask him if there’s something on his mind. If he’s ready to talk then this gives him the opening he’ll need. If he’s not ready, then allow him some more time.

Try to Get Him Talking Through a Movie

If you know what’s bothering him, you can try to open a conversation by watching a movie that might relate to his issue. Sometimes it’s difficult to talk about our feelings when we have nothing to relate them too, so using a film can often help you and your man open up those communication barriers

Ask Him Gently About the Situation

Coaxing him into talking to you isn’t going to be easy, but you might have to be just a little persistent if it has been a few days and he still isn’t talking about things. Make sure he knows you’re genuinely interested in hearing what he has to say and what he’s feeling.

Give Him a Reason to be Strong for You

Sometimes opening up our own feelings is easier when we have to be strong for someone else. I know that when I’m feeling weak I have a hard time talking about it, but if a friend of mine is feeling the same thing then I can open up easier so that my thoughts and experiences let him or her know they’re not alone. You might have to be the weak one about something in order for him to find his strength even in his own hardship.

Remind Him That You’re Here to Listen

Never let your man forget that you’re here to listen to him. No matter what he’s going through and no matter how long his emotional withdrawal lasts, he needs to know that you’re going to be there for him to listen and support him. Make sure that he doesn’t forget that, no matter how long it takes him to talk about things.

Stay Positive

When your man is at his weakest, you have to be positive. No matter what’s going on to make him withdrawal from you, it’s important not to give up on him and not to give up on the situation. Keep a positive aspect on things, keep yourself emotionally open and healthy, and stay positive for him. Chances are that when he comes out of his emotional withdrawal he will need your positive influence in his life.

Stay Yourself

In order to help your guy out, you have to remember to be yourself. It’s very tempting for women to turn into the nurturing role and to be the mother figure to their guy when he’s going through a tough time. It’s even easier for us to be overly sympathetic or display too much empathy, in turn emasculating his feelings. That will only make him emotionally withdrawal even more. You have to be yourself right now, because you’re going to have to be his rock and his stability when he snaps out of this. You can’t turn into someone he doesn’t recognize or someone who is too sympathetic to really be good guidance for him.

Be Strong

Remember, you have to be strong. You’re going to need a lot of patience in order to ride this out with him as he goes through his emotions, and that takes a lot of inner strength. You might not always be able to show him how strong you are (or, you might have to show him exactly how strong you are depending on the situation), but you have to be able to hold your own while he’s withdrawn. He will eventually snap out of it, but it’s frustrating not knowing how your man is feeling and not being able to help him.

Make the First Effort

Sometimes you have to make the first move. Be the first to try and talk about the situation, be the first to tell him you’re there for him and ready to help. You’re going to have to make the first move so that you can remind him that he is not alone in this. People who become emotionally withdrawn often don’t realize they are not alone. They need someone to remind them it’s okay to be weak and they need someone to remind them that it’s okay to talk. Without making that first move your man might not even realize he’s being emotionally cold at all.

Remember that this is a short phase and it will pass. Just be there to let him know that you’re ready to talk when he is.

For more tips on dating and relationships visit our page at LoveDelusions.com

Has the intimacy in your relationship started to decline? Are you struggling to get back to those early days of love? Here are ten scientifically proven ways to increase intimacy in your relationship, whether you’re just starting out or going through a rut.

Intimacy is the most important part of any relationship. Many people confuse sex with intimacy and they don’t know how to incorporate intimacy into their love lives. Why is intimacy so important? Without intimacy your relationship is based on sex. Intimacy is the emotional aspect of your relationship, it’s like the glue that binds you together with your lover. Without intimacy, your relationship lacks emotion.

Over time, intimacy can decline in a relationship. People get comfortable with each other and forget how important it is to keep those close emotional ties, people become stagnant in their ways and they stop trying to care for each other. Intimacy is what keeps your relationship alive and makes it last.

If your relationship is lacking intimacy, then there are ways to fix that. Here are ten scientifically proven ways to keep the intimacy alive or to bring it back again.

Cuddle

It has been proven that cuddling is one of the most intimate aspects of a relationship. Cuddling has been scientifically proven to relieve stress, to calm anger, and to keep couples close together. Cuddling is very healthy, it lowers your heart rate and gives you and emotional and physical sense of comfort. Make sure you and your partner take the time to cuddle every day, whether it’s in bed or on the sofa watching a movie.

Look Into Each Other’s Eyes

When you and your lover are talking, be sure to look into each other’s eyes. This is one of the most intimate forms of communications. There’s something about looking into each other’s eyes that builds a sense of trust and closeness, and although scientists aren’t one hundred percent sure why it works, they do know that this does, indeed, work.

Have Open Communication

If you and your partner are looking for intimacy in your relationship you can’t forget about communication. Have conversations, ask open-ended questions. When your lover asks “how was your day?” don’t just reply with “fine”, go into detail. Talking to each other helps you get to know each other and keep the intimacy alive.

Touch Often

It’s not just cuddling that’s important, but all forms of touch are important in an intimate relationship. Hold hands when you’re walking, touch your lover’s arm when you’re talking in a crowded room, put your hand on your lover’s waist when you’re standing next to each other. Touching is intimate and personal and it is a way of keeping the intimacy alive. Also, have sex often. Physical attraction and intimacy are very, very similar.

Have Outside Interests

If you don’t have outside interest, you really won’t have anything to talk about. It’s important that you and your partner have some similar interests and do things you like together, but it’s just as important that you have outside interests to increase your intimacy. First, it gives you a break from each other. Second, having outside interests gives you and your partner something to talk about…communication.

Challenge Each Other

One of the reasons couples lack intimacy is because there is no challenge in the relationship. You don’t push each other to do something more, you don’t try to break each other out of your comfort zones. If you want to increase intimacy, you have to keep things interesting for each other, you have to try something together, to make sure your partner is striving to live his or her dreams. Intimacy is more than friendship and love, it’s also making sure to bring out the best in each other and to push and encourage each other to do and be more.

Be Positive

Having a positive attitude is another scientifically proven way to increase intimacy. It’s important that you can laugh and love freely with your partner. If you are with someone who is always in a bad mood or has a negative value on life, then it’s difficult and uncomfortable getting close to that person. Positivity makes your lover want to be closer to you. Couples who maintain a positive attitude even in the hardest times are statistically more likely to have a long-lasting relationship.

Have Dinner Together

It has been scientifically proven that scientifically sitting down to dinner each night builds intimacy in a relationship. Not just between lovers, mind you, but also between families. Dinner time allows you and your partner (and family) to relax, eat your meal together, and to talk about your day. Although they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, for intimacy, that meal would be dinner.

Show Appreciation

You can also increase and maintain your intimacy be remembering to show appreciation for your partner. Remember your manners. Say “please” and “thank you”, occasionally surprising your lover with gifts or acts of kindness, and being genuinely thoughtful of the one you love. Appreciation and respect will greatly increase your intimacy and will keep you and your love feeling grateful for what you have together.

Be Honest About Your Thoughts and Feelings

Finally, one very important and scientifically proven way to increase intimacy in your relationship is to always be honest about your thoughts and feelings. Learn to talk to each other in a constructive way. If you’re angry, have a conversation about it. Respect each other enough to know that nobody’s perfect and everyone gets angry sometimes, but display your affections with respect and express your feelings with honesty. Instead of blowing up and screaming out of anger, walk away and calm down and then come back and talk about it. If you’re in a relationship where you can’t express your feelings, or you’re walking on eggshells, then you’re not in an intimate relationship.

Intimacy is respect, it caring, and it’s the most important aspect of a long and healthy relationship together. Celebrate each other’s differences, communicate openly about your feelings, encourage each other to be your best, and remember to touch and cuddle as often as possible.

Are you worried about your relationship? Do you fear that you’re not with the right person, or that your current love is going to leave? Do thoughts of a future lost love keep you awake at night? Stop obsessing! Here are ten tips to help you stop feeling insecure about your relationship.

There comes a point in our life when we find ourselves so immersed in a relationship that we can’t help but feel insecure. We wonder if our lover loves us in return, we wonder if our mate will find someone else, and we even wonder if we are with the right person.

Insecurity, my friends, has absolutely no place in a relationship.

If your head is full of doubts and your imagination is full of fear, then here are ten things you need to do NOW that will help you stop worrying and start loving again.

Trust Your Partner

One of the reasons we have insecurities about a relationship is that we’ve been hurt before. It happens. I honestly can’t tell you how many times I’ve been hurt or let down by a lover. Building that trust can often take time with someone new, but sometimes you have to trust first. This isn’t a “guilty until innocent” situation.

Have Your Own Interests

A lot of people focus on their partner more than they should. If you’re making your relationship the only thing in your life, then you’re going to create imaginary problems. You have to have your own, personal, outside interests. Maintaining a separate identity will ensure you are not revolving your entire world around your mate. When you rely on someone else for your happiness, there will eventually be a lot of jealousy involved.

Maintain Intimacy

There is a big difference between sex and intimacy. If you want to feel more secure in your relationship then you need to be more intimate with your partner. Spend time holding hands and cuddling, share inside jokes between the two of you. Give each other some very special quality time and shut the rest of the world out at least once a week. Sex is great, but intimacy is what builds a lasting relationship.

Focus on Your Current Relationship

One of the other most common problems when it comes to feelings of insecurity is that many people still have lingering issues from past relationships. I’ll admit it, I’m someone who has those lingering issues. Right away if a guy is too nice or interested, I feel like he’s only after sex. If he stops texting me every day or I see him a little less one week, I worry he’s found someone new.

These are really, really bad habits

If you want to feel more secure about your love life, you really have to let go of the past. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s a good idea to have learned from your past, but you can’t assume that your new love is going to act just like your ex. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and push away any thoughts of how you’ve been wringed before. Let your lover start with a clean slate.

Be Realistic about the Future

Many of us fear that our relationship will end and then we’ll be all alone…forever. This is a ridiculous notion. Be realistic about things. If this relationship ends, then you’ll eventually find another one. Don’t put so much pressure on one person.

Don’t Expect Everything to be Perfect

Speaking of pressure, a lot of insecurity can be dealt with by simply remembering that your lover is human. No, really, they’re human. Your partner will make mistakes. Sometimes, they’ll screw up! In fact, your partner will likely make you angry, make you cry, act like an idiot around your friends or family, forget your anniversary, leave wet towels on the floor…and a myriad of other human errors that occur. You will feel much better about your relationship if you stop holding your partner up to unrealistic standards.

Don’t Overthink Conversations

We all do this. You read a text and then you contemplate it for hours wondering, “Why wasn’t there an exclamation point?”, or, “why doesn’t it say ‘I’ love you, why only ‘love ya’? Overthinking conversations (whether spoken or written) is a definite way to feel insecure.

I will tell you right now that your lover’s text was probably not nearly as controversial as you’re making it out to be. Nothing was meant by the lack of punctuation, there was no hidden meaning in the missing “I” from “love ya’”. Stop over analyzing everything your partner says to you or anybody else. You’re reading things that really aren’t there.

Maintain Communication

Now, although you shouldn’t over think your conversations, it’s still extremely important that you and your lover have regular conversations. If you can’t keep the lines of communication open, then of course you’re going to feel insecure! Make sure to take time out every day and talk to each other. Talking openly and freely helps build trust and security.

Watch Your Lover’s Actions

Okay, you could probably imagine all kinds of things when your lover is out working too late, or when they seem to be talking less than usual, but don’t despair. The real truth lies in action, not word. If your partner is being the same touchy, affectionate person they always have been, then you have nothing to worry about, no matter how short those texts are lately. If your partner leaves their cell phone lying around without even a second glance, or tells you every last boring detail of their evening with the guys, then you are safe. Actions always speak louder than words. There’s not need to feel insecure if your lover is acting the same as always.

Relax

If you really want to stop feeling insecure in your relationship, then you need to learn to relax! Learn to enjoy the time you and your lover have together. Learn to breathe when mistakes are made or accidents happen. Relax and you’ll feel better about your relationship! Those insecurities are all in your own mind, and you can control that.