On an awe inspiring sunny and peaceful day with blue skies emanating in vibrant hues across the cloudless horizon; I found myself with a rare day off from Producing Artists in my recording studio. One of my closest friends had recently told me that I seem to live my life with my foot always firmly planted down on the accelerator and that everything I do seems to frequently have an unrelenting intensity about it; apparently even my meditation practice seems to suffer this extremity according to him (A paradox I still grapple with to this day).

So in this calm and idyllic moment; the chance reared its friendly face and I promptly clipped my ticket and hopped on the train of nothingness.

My friend and I walked outside into his garden and sat down on his well kept lawn while the warm winds caringly caressed our skin as we began to stare off into the horizon searching for a state of presence and tranquility while away in the distance a set of clouds slowly moved its way across the skyline and over the vast mountains above us.

In the background; the gentle instrumental tinkling of a soft piano played lovingly by Goldmund vibrated subtly out of a slightly worn bluetooth speaker. As the notes weaved in and out of our consciousness, the music began to dance with our shared experience of being in the moment. The music felt like it had no filter and the story it was telling was being directly shared with us as we continued to gaze out towards the slowly moving clouds.

As the music delicately moved between changing chord progressions; it seemed to influence the way the clouds were being witnessed by us and when Goldmund would soften his dynamics; our state of stillness seemed to calm with the decreasing intensity of the softly pressed keys.

We sat in awe over the captivating shifts in nature and the calming music for what seemed like hours without needing to say a word. The clouds and music were saying enough for the both of us and instead we sat in a state of raw awareness almost forgetting that there was a separation between our ears and the music. The subject/object phenomenon disappeared and all that was left was raw sensation.

But within an instant; our whole landscape changed as the Goldmund album’s last notes peacefully rung out into Nils Frahm’s rapidly firing fingers as they hit the piano with aggression and our emotional and mental environment changed in a heartbeat. What only seconds prior was tranquility and a state of awe and openness; turned to anxiety, discomfort and it forced us out of our state of non-dualilty into a landscape of anguish.

Have you ever had a truly energetic friend who is the life of the party and whom you love to see out on a Saturday night because they are like an enigma that shifts the energy of the room and brings your vibrations up to a place where for a few hours; you can party without any filter holding you back? But then you wake the next day in a state of low vibration and calm energy only to find that your friend is still in your environment and that their energy is far too high for your current mental landscape? That was Nils Frahm in the moment, and he needed to be politely kicked out of my friends garden.

I quickly rushed over to my iPhone to change the song on Spotify but something stopped me in my tracks and I began to think about the importance of what just happened.

We scarcely realise the importance of how drastically external inputs affect our output. We live so much in our own heads that we often feel like our internal mind-frame can control any external input. Yet with something as simple as the changing of a song; our experience in the moment can flip its polarity to completely reverse our sense of being in the moment.

Something as simple as the changing of a song can completely change your current emotional state.

How does that relate to every other decision we make during the day? What about every other piece of input data that we receive? Every time you look at your phone; that is new input data that drastically affects your output. How many hours are you looking at your phone each day? Do we truly believe that the world is a worse place than it ever has been or are we just constantly exposed to troubles in the world from our addiction with social media? The input data of each day affects your output each day.

What about the friends we keep, the movies we watch and the news we consume? How about the foods that we are ingesting, the drugs, the alcohol and how much that each of these things affects our emotions and our mental state. Every single thing we experience is new input data which alters our brain chemistry.

How inspired and calm do we feel after a long relaxing walk through a stunning native forest filled with ferns gently swaying in the breeze, insects buzzing and birds singing away? Then compare that to how inspired we feel after an hour of scrolling Facebook?

What about our musical and artistic output? Well, obviously this is not immune to the input/output phenomenon. Artists often report to me that they struggle to finish songs yet will mindlessly spend hours a day scrolling on tik tok or instagram. Or they will comment about how their songs all resonate with sadness, or aggression, or frustration without realising just how much of a correlation there is between what they are consuming, with what they are outputting.

But conversely; What would happen to your art if you shut yourself off from the world without any external input data and stayed in a room for 3 months. Do you feel like you would find inspiration? I highly doubt it.

Inspiration does not seem to come from within; but instead we seem to receive it when we open our awareness up to be an antenna from passing energy vibrated out of society, relationships, culture, nature and the times. But we need to be careful as to what we are opening up to.

The greatest artists that have ever graced our speakers and lives; have all seemed to channel their culture by casting open their awareness to soak in everything that is going on in the moment. Bob Dylan’s political awareness of the changing American landscape of the 60s, the Sex Pistols frustration with the upper class’s treatment of the lower class as the gap of economic in-equality widened in England, 2pac’s experience with the racial hatred which had run rabid through the L.A.P.D or the loud abrasive drums and harsh guitars of Nirvana from a culture fed up with the sparkling polish and drum machines of the 80s.

None of these artists were anything in a vacuum without the inspiration of the external. They felt something bubbling under the surface in society and in response; they unleashed their artistic visions into the world. This then became new input data for the culture as the youth consumed these visions on masse which created new outputs which in turn continued to shift societies movements and its sonic identity.

Yet many wonder why anxiety levels are at an all time high and why productivity is so low even though technology has made things infinitely easier and faster than it once was. Because our input data is all wrong and it is drastically affecting our output.

Our constant and un-relenting social and peer comparison via social media is like constantly eating toxic lead but coming back again and again for another helping. It does nothing positive to our mental health or our wellbeing and is causing a steep incline in depression, anxiety and suicide; yet we are addicted to it and keep coming back for more.

So as a test; the next time you reach for your phone; ask yourself, “Is this piece of input data i’m about to consume going to make my current emotional and mental state better or worse?” and if the answer is “Worse”, then ask yourself what is something positive that will help you output in a way that you desire. Or to lean into a cliché; what do you need to absorb to help be the change you want to see around you.

The next time you are feeling anxious, angry and frustrated; think about what you have been consuming. Think about the constant news updates, the social media addictions, the peer comparison, the food and think about how you want your emotional and mental landscape to look and then let your heart guide you to more healthy actions.

The next time you think there aren’t enough hours in the day to do what you want to do; take a look at your screentime hours on your phone and see if there may be something there….

The next time you are lost for inspiration; think about what your input data has been and what you can do to feed yourself with more inspiring energy.

All of this input data is accumulative; some affects us in more noticeable ways than others but all of it affects us in both good and bad ways. By becoming more present and opening up your awareness; you will notice in greater detail just how much the input data is affecting the output.

I turned back to my friend and watched his expression shift as the Nils Frahm number turned to silence and then the gentle chords of Max Richter subtly started drumming away on the piano; filling our hearts with a sense of ease. The sky seemed blue again, the clouds; calm and our state of present moment awareness mellowed into an open field of tranquility.

Our input that we receive is the output we put back into the world. What do you want to put back into the world?

Toby Lloyd is a Music Producer based in Wellington/Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Aotearoa. He runs the Recording Studio and Music Production business Tiny Triumph Recordings who work with local and international artists as well as Mixing Score for Feature Films.

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But what the shit is a Music Producer anyway? Someone who works with labels and bands to deliver their projects on time and on budget? Someone who creates sick beats on a laptop using a cracked version of Ableton? Someone who points microphones at things and nerds out over compression ratios? With each passing year; I swear the role gets harder and harder to define.

So I wanted to take some time to get to the bottom of this and reach out to some of Aotearoa’s most talented Music Producers and get their take on it.

But first; let’s have a very brief look into the history of the role.

Historically the Music Producer role was born out of the A&R role (Artist and Repertoires) which first came to prominence in the 1920s and became rapidly expanded right through the 40s. These A&R teams naturally evolved to a point where the A&R person started choosing songs that they thought would have potential for the label that they were working for and would scout and pair Artists with session musicians as well as often helped in guiding the recording sessions.

Post WWII saw the birth of Independent Record Labels and the Music Producer title was born. An important part of their role was managing the finances of a project and keeping the artists to the budget that they had and made sure that the sessions went smoothly and were on time and on target but as the years went on the role also began to get more and more creative.

So what actually is this role? I’ve always had the opinion that the Music Producer is like the coach of a sports team, so let’s drop into some classic sports metaphors for a moment.

Michael Jordan, was arguably the greatest player to ever squeak his shoes in a basketball stadium….but even though he knew what he needed to do to dominate in most aspects of the game; he still listened intently to his coach Phil Jackson.

But when comparing Phil and Michael; well, Michael was the one playing the game. He was there on the court and ultimately would be making the decisions in real time as to how he moved the ball with precision and in artistic fashion to have real impact to wether the Chicago Bulls would win or lose in any give moment.

But what did Phil Jackson have that Michael Jordan didn’t have? Hair. No, not just hair. Phil Jackson had objective vision from the side of the court. He was not in the weeds and suffering from tunnel vision; he was able to take a step back and see where his team was going wrong and what they could do to improve. This is the Music Producer.

When you are in the heat of the moment (Like an artist can be when performing in the studio); you are often lost from perspective and it can be very hard to see the small things that you are doing in the moment which are tripping you up. The coach on the sideline (Or Music Producer in the control room); is seeing the game as a whole and seeing all the moving pieces with clarity whereas the players on the court (Or in the tracking room) are mostly just focused on what they themselves are doing in the game (Song), often overlooking the small things they are doing that are affecting the outcome negatively.

Given that Michael Jordan was the GOAT; one could argue that he didn’t need a coach. I mean after all, he was 6 time NBA finals MVP MICHAEL JEFFREY JORDAN!! But yet; he had Phil Jackson and respected Phils role as coach so much that they went on to win 6 NBA championships together. He never won a single NBA title without Phil. But zooming out even further you realise that every single great athlete and team has a great coach. To prove the polarity to my point just look at the current state of the All Blacks… sad face emoticon/possible vomit face emoticon.

So where am I going with this? Well to me its always been obvious; the Music Producer is there to provide perspective and help the artist from their tunnel vision and help them when they are losing the forest for the trees whilst helping lift them to higher heights to achieve things that wouldn’t be able to do by themselves. They are there to help the artist achieve their musical dreams with their knowledge and skillset that they have been honing for years.

When the team’s morale is down; the coach is there to inspire them forward to greatness. When a strategy isn’t working, the coach is there to give alternative approaches to help achieve their shared desired outcome by correcting performance issues. When Michael Jordan punched Steve Kerr in the face; Phil Jackson was there to help them repair the wounds and break bread together

So the sports analogy makes sense right? But when you talk to the average Musician, Music Producer, Audio Engineer or Artist; what they consider to be a Music Producer seems to vary greatly. So I thought I would reach out to some of my peers in the industry and see what they had to say on the topic.

Here’s what legendary Music Producer Greg Haver (Manic Street Preachers, Opshop, Kimbra etc.) had to say:

“Production encompasses a multitude of disciplines: logistics, musicality, psychology and artist motivation. You’re a supportive parent, grandparent, teacher, benevolent uncle and disciplinarian, but mostly the producer’s a friend and mentor, enabling the translation of the artist’s vision onto the recording”.

But when is an Artist a Co-Producer and when are they an Artist being Produced? Here are his thoughts:

“All recordings should be a collaboration and co-production, but it’s important that the producers credit is truly valued, so taking a co-production credit should be discussed and agreed well in advance of the session. Any and all work in relation to the recording should be delegated amongst all the co-producing parties, so essentially it should not be a vanity credit. It’s not a co-production if the producer has the same workload as if they were the sole producer.”

I next reached out to a brilliant Te-Whanganui-a-Tara Music Artist/Producer Tess Goodwin and she had this to say:

“A producer is someone who brings a musical project to its full potential, to make it as perfect as possible. They oversee quality at every level, from the smallest detail through to the overall feeling and cohesiveness of the project as a whole. They are able to bring their own creative intuition into an artists’ project and influence and add value to all its components, such as song arrangement, instrumentation, musical parts, etc, while being responsive to the energy of a project and what an artist is bringing to them and asking of them.”

Next up is Lee Prebble (LAB, Phoenix Foundation, Black Seeds):

“I see the role of the producer as guiding the artist through the process, getting the best out of the songs and hopefully making it as easy as possible. This can mean many different things, from contributing to the songwriting and arrangement, to making a cup of tea, being a conscientious ear, choosing when to use a piece of gear, what session players to get in, when to take a break, when to do another take. When to play or not to play. Or none of those things. Also, a good producer will know when to say things and when to keep their mouth shut and let the process take its course……”

And when does he think an Artist is a Co-Producer or just an Artist being Produced?

“I rarely feel that I am the sole producer on a project. If I’m producing, I pretty much always co-produce with the artist. I like the collaborative aspect of this approach. And the artist has the final say, cos it’s their music.”

I reached out to the incredible Artist/Producer Estère who said:

“To me a music producer is someone who curates or has a hand in curating the aesthetic identity of a song or project. This plays out in heaps of different ways I think. When the vision is not that of the artists I think they are being produced, but I would argue that anyone steering the boat towards their sonic ideal is co producing.”

James Goldsmith (Mermaidens, Beast Wars) had this to say on the topic:

“A music producer is a title given to someone who either helps with the song writing or sonic shaping of the song. Sometimes a producer starts a song from the ground up writing with the artist, sometimes it’s someone who shapes the instrumentation and arrangement of a song and sometimes it’s a person who shapes the sonic characteristics of the song into it’s final recorded form. A producer is also part of the final say of the product”

Co-Producer or being Produced?

“A coach can’t coach someone without talent and motivation. And with that comes opinions and drive. The result would be different with a different coach or a different athlete. I believe that every artist is a producer in the sense that without their input the song won’t sound like the result.”

So there ya go; some of the great Music Producers of our fine country laying down their thoughts about the role.

Whats that you say? What’s my opinion on all of the above? Oh, ok, since you insist.

To me a Music Producer as well as being a coach; is also a Musical Midwife. The artist is the one that conceives the musical baby, they are the one that will be agonising over the birth, they are the one that will raise it and push it out into the world and watch it grow into an awkward teenager and eventually a wise old sage. Sometimes the midwife is also the surrogate mother and they might share custody of the child or raise it together.

The Producer is there to make sure the baby comes out looking the way the artist dreamed it would. They are constantly making sure during the pregnancy that the baby isn’t growing a third arm and that their umbilical chord isn’t wrapped around their neck preventing the baby from breathing. They are there to hold the artists hand during the pregnancy and to also provide them with all the information the artist needs in order to keep the pregnancy on track.

But ultimately; the Music Producer is there to help the artist release their musical baby out into the world and have it be as healthy as possible. Sure it’s gunna burn and tear a few things on the way out; but when all is said and done; the artist should hopefully love that musical baby for the rest of their lives and be proud of what they have delivered (And probably have a few scars to show from the journey).

They are more than just a Midwife though! They are also part therapist, part accountant, part lawyer, part motivator, part barista, part life coach, part personal trainer, part songwriter, part conductor and part friend. Sometimes their role is to reduce rather than produce….in fact Rick Rubins very first ever credit was as a “Reducer” instead of a Producer since he spent most of the time taking things out of the Production rather than putting in.

And when is an Artist a Co-Producer or just an Artist being Produced?

The more important question when it comes to wether or not an Artist is the Co-Producer or the Artist is being Produced is; to the Artist, does it and should it matter?

To me; all that matters is that the song is as great as it possibly can! Never do I see more ego come out than when it comes to people wanting to be able to say that they Produced their own music. This mindset can be very detrimental to the process of making great art because people will be making choices for the song based on credits and ego rather than from what the actually song needs.

Collaboration is a beautiful thing and there is a reason why basically all of the worlds top artists have Music Producers (Even sometimes multiple Producers on a single song).

This is not to say that self-producing is a bad thing; it can be exactly the right thing that is needed for the song. There are many incredible Artists who self-produce and create their art in exactly the way they dream it would sound. It all comes down to intent. Is this decision serving the song or is it serving the ego?

Ultimately; the role is less important than the result. Is this song as good as it possibly can be? Because remember, the song always wins! That’s all that matters at the end of the day.

But what do you think? Feel free to reach out in the comments below or send me your thoughts on social media.

Happy Music Making!

Toby Lloyd is a Music Producer and Mixing Engineer based in Wellington/Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Aotearoa. He runs the Recording Studio and Music Production business Tiny Triumph Recordings who work with local and international artists as well as Mixing Score for Feature Films.

Follow Tiny Triumph Recordings on Instagram here:
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Visit their website here:

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“Go home dude” I said to the shaggy haired sleep deprived Music Producer that was laying on the couch as I arrived at the studio that frosty Sunday morning. It was clear that he had not slept for days. His eyes were bloodshot, his leg was involuntarily shaking, he was operating in the drunken state of a woken dream.

“Go home, sleep, see your wife, see your children, the work can wait. The artist isn’t even coming in today” I told him again.

“I can’t. If I leave, it will all fall apart. I need to be here for every moment of this. This is my album, it truly can’t exist without me” he told me in his dazed state of stupor. His Ego; truly alive and taking his consciousness hostage.

“This album is not yours, it’s the artist’s. These are not your songs. It’s also not as important as your health dude. It’s not as important as your children nor your marriage” I pleaded to him.

“This is not just an album” he replied. “This is so much bigger than that”.

“It is just an album. That’s all it is. Our work is not as serious as you portray it to be” I reply.

The work carried on that day, his focus drifting like clouds passing by as the level of caffeine in his system ebbed and flowed. His work becoming more sloppy, his attitude becoming increasingly agitated. I could see him falling off the cliff at alarming speeds but like anyone who falls from a great height; it is only the people on the ground who can see the distance.

The following day, the Artist arrives at the studio with a smile on his face, happy to be part of his favourite stage of the project; the mixing. He has been dreaming and planning the creation of this album for years and through the process, has poured every inch of himself into delivering the emotion needed to articulate exactly the sentiment of each song. Now, the end is finally in sight.

His Manager also arrives, with her phone firmly glued to her eardrum barking orders to the other side. Representatives of the record label arrive shortly after with their laptops under arms and wearing attire that screams of importance and wealth. The Producer sits behind the Mixing Engineer; barely hanging on by a thread.

The mixes blast out of the speakers while everyone in the room buzzes with excitement as the Mixing Engineer works their magic, weaving the musical gold into something sonically tangible as everyone in the room feeds off the emotional injection that is coming out of the speakers projecting frequency, timbre, space and time. The label and the artist sit at the back of the room and chat jovially about the mix whilst behind the console; the Producer starts to grow increasingly frustrated.

“How about we order some takeaways” the Artist suggests to the Manager.

“How about you all shut the fuck up” replies the Producer.

Silence.

The kind of silence that blankets the whole room in confusion. The kind of silence that seems to seep through every pore of every living thing in the dimly lit room. The kind of silence that suffocates any positive energy emanating from the music and replaces it with impenetrable coldness.

The Mixing Engineer without skipping a beat, continues to work his magic and in some miraculous way; brings the emotion out of the speakers and back into the room where it starts to cut through the silence like a knife and slowly injects life and breath back into the room.

The feet start tapping again. The heads start bopping. The smiles slowly return as the moment passes over the heads in the room and out of the studio doors into the realm of the past.

“This chorus is feeling pretty good” exclaimed the excited artist after 10 minutes of quietness “But I feel like we need to really push the energy of the guitars. We need them to really sing and push the focus and aggression of the emotion i’m trying to portray”

“No, we’re not going to do that” replied the Producer. “It’s fine as it is”.

“I would really like us to try” replies the Artist.

The Producer turns to the artist and proclaims “For fuck sake, we are not going to do that! This is my album, without me this is nothing so I am telling you; it’s fine as it is”.

Silence.

The body falls from the cliff.

Impact.

“Can I speak to you outside?” the Artist firmly and rhetorically asks the Producer.

They leave the studio while the Mixing Engineer tries to push the sound waves of the speakers through the air of confusion hanging above the bodies in the room.

The Producer, never returns.

The work carries on.

The album gets finished.

The album gets released.

A lot of people love it. Some people hate it.

The world keeps spinning.

The Producer’s Ego dies a horrible death that day and he never recovers. The album goes on to be a success but the Producer, never works with the Artist again. In fact, the Producer barely works with anyone again. The tale of toxicity and death spreads around the industry and the only work that the Producer manages to scrape together afterwards are projects that are only going to be heard by handfuls of people. During one of these; he has to get taken home by the Mixing Engineer and tucked into bed. Confusion carries him everywhere, he can’t understand why no-one else trusted his genius, why no-one else could see his own undeniable importance, why no-one else trusted his greatness. The truth is and always was; that it was never his album. It is always the Artists. And he was only ever there; to serve the Artist.

I ponder on this memory often; it’s one that has carried with me for many, many years. The Ego; has proven time and time again to be such a disabling force and one that covers our windscreens in muck, in dirt and narrows our peripherals to the point of minute focus. Everyone in the room could see the Producer falling off the cliff, we tried to warn him multiple times but his Ego told him that he was right, that he was bigger than the project and that his work was terribly important.

The truth is; he was a victim of the past and also the future in which his brain could only operate in. The reality is; that there is only now. Now is all. Now is everything. Now is the only thing that truly exists and when we recognise this fact, the Ego falls by the way side because the Ego can only exist in the past or the future. It’s impossible to have the Ego in the drivers seat when we are firmly planted in the now. When we become aware and truly experience the eternal now; we realise that the past and future don’t exist and don’t matter. The only thing that matters is right now….and right now; everything is as it is.

Had the Producer understood this; he would have realised that the energy in the room was as toxic as his operating subconscious that was holding on so firmly to the seriousness of his own importance.

And in that moment; all he had to do was sit down and be humble.

The Ego blinds you of the truth. It stops you from seeing the moment with clarity. It tries to tell you that you are more important, more great and more irreplaceable than you really are. Instead realise that in this moment; life is about living. Life is about being. Life is not about our past experiences or our future successes; life is what is happening right now….and right now; we can experience Joy, calm and stillness. Only if we can remove our Egos strangle hold on the moment.

You are not your past nor your future; you are right now.

Toby Lloyd is a Music Producer and Mixing Engineer based in Wellington/Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Aotearoa. He runs the Recording Studio and Music Production business Tiny Triumph Recordings who work with local and international artists as well as Mixing Score for Feature Films.

Follow Tiny Triumph Recordings on Instagram here:
Follow Tiny Triumph Recordings on Faceboook here:
Visit their website here:

To keep up with the latest stories from Toby Lloyd; subscribe here:
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“We leave the ego outside the recording studio doors” is a phrase that can often be heard coming from me as I sip my long black coffee with extra water on the side (Ordering an “Americano” instead would bruise my ego too much for me to handle).

It’s an incredibly important sentiment to me; that to get the best out of the music, the ego must be removed from the process. However, this is an extremely tricky task as the reason that most people became musicians in the first place is because of their ego.

They get up on dank dimly lit stages as the cheers from the alcohol fuelled audience strokes their fragile egos while the crowd fawn over them as they sing, strum and smash drum skins. They are worshipped as gods or goddesses who are different to everyone else that walks the vast plains of this world.

Some would argue that every facet of music is driven from a place of ego. So why would I want to kill my own? Because I am not in music to worship the person. I am here to worship the song.

Creating Music is a spiritual experience almost unparalleled with anything else in our lives. When we are playing and creating music; we are perfectly existing in the now and channeling something that exists in very few parts of our existence. I have seen guitarists transcend time as they float for 30 minutes in between takes in the studio, lost in their own strumming until I have to grab them by their legs and pull them back down to earth. When they come down, they are scarcely aware that any time has passed (The photo at the top of this article is the perfectly captured representation of Seamus Johnson from Sea Mouse; lost in the now)

To paraphrase Philosopher Alan Watts “When we play Music, the playing itself is the point. We do not play a sonata in order to reach the final chord, and if the meaning of things were simply in ends, composers would write nothing but finales. Life is like Music for its own sake. We are living in the eternal now.”

Music is perhaps one of the most beautiful expressions of not only the self but of the universe. We are not born into this world but out of it and so therefore the music that emanates from our very finger tips is nothing but the universe expressing itself through you. We are a product of equal portions of our biology and our environment. By its very nature; so is our music.

We are not “Geniuses” inventing brand new ideas in a vacuum with no external influence but rather, expressing a combination of the internal and external through song. These ideas have all come from channeling inspiration from our environment and the world at large and are expressed through melodic notes and rhythmic patterns. The songs are not merely a reflection of our own “Genius”.

Somewhere along the journey; the lines became blurred and we started tying our Music to the ego and the self.

There was a unique shift in humanity a few hundreds of years ago that has everything to do with the word “Genius”. The Romans used to believe that the “Genius” was something external that people were born with and it would attend to the individual throughout their lives. When the individual was fruitful in succeeding in their endeavours; their genius was being good to them. When they weren’t achieving greatness; then their genius wasn’t with them at that time.

However the term started changing in its use as the sciences progressed and spirituality receded; people started claiming that they “Were a Genius” instead of “Having a Genius”.

So with this new representation and ideology of what “Genius” is, when we fail; that failure is a reflection of us. When we succeed; it’s also a reflection of us. Every win and failure is entirely our own doing. Our self worth starts being aligned with our wins or our failures because we define ourselves with them.

No wonder that artists become self destructive when they feel like they aren’t living up to the “Genius” that everyone has been telling them that they are. They become paralysed by the fear that people will see them as they truly are; as mere-mortals. So instead they retreat to a state of self doubt and try to use smoke and mirrors to keep their “Genius” status intact.

Now it doesn’t take a “Genius” to realise that this is incredibly damaging to not only our mental health and the world at large but also, to our art.

However, before you go ahead and think that I am completely anti Ego; there are many elements of the ego that serves our art. As Frank Turner explained about his new single “Fatherless” that every pissed off rockstar up on stage is basically saying “Do you see me now dad??”. (On a semi-related note, he also sung the brilliant line “There’s no such things as rockstars, there’s just people who play music. And some of them are just like us and some of them are dicks!”)

In fact, the majority of our favourite artists of all time have achieved the high heights because they feel like they have something to prove. To their parents who neglected them, to their teachers who told them they would never amount to anything, to their girlfriend/boyfriends who cheated on them, to society for shunning them. Ego can fuel the fire to make people succeed and soar….but when it comes to the actual writing and recording of the expression; I see little benefit in having it in the room.

To me, the song should always win. When you are in the studio or the writing room; the idea that wins should ALWAYS be the idea that makes the song better. Who cares who comes up with an idea if it makes the song better? The audience definitely doesn’t.

However ego frequently gets in the way of this process and instead; the idea that wins is too often about who said it rather than the idea itself.

I have seen this countless times in the studio. Personality politics take hold of the environment and instead of the singer listening to the bass guitarists great idea for a structure change; they flat out veto it without even giving it a second thought because the idea didn’t come out of their own mouth. How does this serve the art? It doesn’t; it serves the ego.

No-one who has ever listened to a song has ever cared about who came up with an idea in the song; they only care about how the song makes them feel. Nobody has ever listened to a song caring that the artist played every instrument in the song; they again, only care about how the song makes them feel.

When I am Producing a record; I try my hardest to nurture this environment. One where the song always wins. It can be a tricky task especially where multiple people are involved and there are too many cooks in the tiny kitchen all fighting over how much Oregano they should be putting on the pizza.

If I make a suggestion in my role as Producer and after we try it; the band or artist doesn’t like the idea, then I don’t break a sweat and we move on to the next idea. No push back, no ego, no concerns. We throw paint at the walls and see what sticks. Sometimes it takes 10 ideas that don’t work to get to the 11th idea which makes the song far superior than it was and I am not going to worry about 10 ideas getting turned down if it means we get to the 11th that makes the song. Neither should the band.

Because really; nobody knows what will make a song a hit. They only know how something makes them feel. A certain amount of trust falls on the Producer to guide the artist in the right direction but at the end of the day, if the artist doesn’t like an idea then I see little use in fighting for it. This only leads to resentment and mistrust. We turn up and do our best on the day and then move on.

Now what happens when we foster this environment is that people feel heard and they are more likely to suggest ideas in the future. They also will only care about the ideas that make the song better. It’s easier to try an idea out than to argue in the hypothetical. Because if the drummer has their idea shot down without it even being entertained; then perhaps later they will not voice up their idea that could elevate the song to new heights.

In the world of Songwriting, we have what’s called “Nashville Splits”; where any person in the room or in the band get an even split of songwriting royalties. Now the benefit to this is that people will only fight for the ideas that make the song better rather than trying to ram their own ideas into the song to get a higher royalty pay out. The rhythm guitarist is less likely to push their un-poetic lyrical ideas into the song as this will have a detrimental effect on their royalties and instead they will only vote for the lyrics that best serve the song. This is the reason why “Nashville Splits” are the most common form of Songwriting agreement in the pop world; because they only care about that which makes the song better.

As acclaimed Music Producer Rick Rubin said recently; “In a collaboration, if the best idea gets picked, you win, regardless of whose idea it is”

When the ego is left outside the doors of the studio environment; real life magic starts happening. What happens is that everyone in the room develops the ability to tap into the eternal now. We are in the church of song and we start worshipping the music. An idea is suggested; we try it and it either works or it doesn’t. No longer are we attached to who’s idea it was or to who plays a certain instrument or not. Instead, we play in the now creating whole sonic universes that becomes greater than the sum of its parts.

Just imagine if Paul McCartney didn’t collaborate as a writer with John Lennon; we wouldn’t have the Beatles, we would just have Wings. In fact John Lennon and Paul McCartney were so influenced by each other that every single song they wrote either together or separately were credited as “McCartney/Lennon” because they appreciated just how much each other had influenced each other as writers. They both understood that anything Paul wrote (wether John was there or not) was likely influenced by John and vice versa. What a beautiful appreciation for the art of collaboration, songwriting and inspiration!

I have seen all too often where an artist feels like they have to make all the decisions, play all the instruments, come up with every idea for a song. Now what happens if this song flops and the streams don’t get over the 1000 mark on spotify? Well, they think it’s all their fault and the self-hatred becomes destructively exponential in effect.

But what happens when they stay open in the studio and allow other people to help shape the song; well if it doesn’t become the hit they hope it to be then it will not be a sole reflection of their self and they can go a lot easier on themselves because they were merely a cog in the wheel.

What also happens then, if the song blows up? Well in the former they will stroke their ego and believe that they are amazing and the success of the song is all because of them. But if their next song flops; then they will fall from even higher heights than previously.

In the latter (more collaborative example) if the song blows up; they will see that their team has succeeded and they will be grateful that they have a group of collaborators that can help them achieve great things. The ego doesn’t come into play in nearly the same way.

This goes hand in hand with Stephen Covey’s idea that there are 3 stages of life; Dependence, Independence and finally Interdependence. It’s when we arrive at Interdependence where we really start to move mountains. It’s interdependence where truly great things happen and we go on to achieve far greater things than we could have ever achieved by only using our own ideas and actions. The magic truly exists where different ideas from different people from different places merge together to create something greater than the sum of its parts.

At the end of the day; Music and art should be fun. We are creating something that nobody needs more of. If we stopped making any more new music right now and instead only listened to every single song that has ever been recorded up until this moment; we would still not have enough time to get through every song in the world before we die. So any additional music we are putting into the world should be viewed as a beautiful thing! After all; if there was an apocalypse tomorrow no-one would say “Help!! We need some musicians!!!”

So play, dance, have fun making music for the joy of purely making music! Exist in the eternal now, express yourself each day through the arts and collaborate with others….but let’s try and keep the ego out of it. Because remember; the song always wins.

Toby Lloyd is a Music Producer and Mixing Engineer based in Wellington/Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Aotearoa. He runs the Recording Studio and Music Production business Tiny Triumph Recordings who work with local and international artists as well as Mixing Score for Feature Films.

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Sometimes at night, when I have finally gotten my Tamariki into the comfort of their beds and our old wooden 1940’s house falls into a state of still and calm silence; I turn the lights down so low that only a dim representation of Benjamin Franklins 1879 vision is emanating from the bulbs as I sit down in my favourite chair to meditate.

In this moment of absolute peace and stillness; I focus on my breathing while the wind gently creaks and sways the old aging weatherboards of our house. A state of calm washes over me and I sit with the eternal now in the darkness of our lounge.

But no matter how hard I try; like the strong Wellington southerlies blowing endless clouds across the warm sun and blocking us from the glory of Te Ra’s rays; I find old thoughts slowly taking hold of me. A few moments will pass before I realise that i’ve left the now and will attempt to gently nudge the thoughts on their way to return to the sensation of breathing and to my previous state of calm.

But no matter how much I return to my breath and how much resolve I find in exploring these thoughts within the spare moments that I have and no matter how much I try to shake them; I find myself repeating the same conversations over and over again in my head. Its like some kind of mental groundhogs day…. and it makes me think about choruses.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with choruses. I get it; they are the catchiest part of the song (and for an artist; the place where the dollar billz come from) but I’ve always struggled to understand the tired old Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Chorus, Outro format. Why do songs have so many choruses?!?! What is it about them that makes us feel the need to consistently place all throughout our compositions? It’s focus has always felt cheap and driven by a need to sell records rather than to serve the art.

Personally; I’ve always loved artists who find new and interesting ways to structure their songs to take the listener on a journey that is different to the traditional status quo’s idea of songwriting. Like Jeff Buckley’s brilliant “Morning Theft”, Death Cab for Cutie’s nostalgic “Summer Song”, NoFX’s punk rock rollercoaster ride “The Decline” or Queens triumphant “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

In fact I once offended a very well respected NZ Songwriter who offered his services as a paid songwriting mentor to one of the artists I produce; to which I told him “Sorry but no way! This artists style is beautiful as it is and I wouldn’t want him to follow your footsteps of becoming a V, C, V, C, B, C songwriter”. I didn’t mean it to come out the way it did (It was meant to offer the notion that the reason why I love my artists music is because he sees the world differently to most) but needless to say; it didn’t go down very well…

Regardless of my love of interesting song structures and the affinity to zig when other people zag; it’s undeniable how important choruses (and their over-use in popular music) are.

However, one day when I least expected it; something changed inside me in a chance encounter where I discovered a new found appreciation for the importance of the chorus. It came from a place that I was not expecting and after this moment; the role of the repeated chorus finally and truly made sense.

5 years ago on a warm summers day, I was in the studio recording a hip hop track with a really talented young rapper who, when inside the confines of the studio environment; was a really respectful, down to earth and humble human being who had dreams of making it big as a household name in Rap…..he also happened to be a patched gang member who occasionally turned up to the studio on LSD and once got in a fight in the car park outside the studio on his lunch break.

On that fateful summers day while laying down his rap vocals; we had a truly beautiful interaction that I still remember with such intense clarity that it may as well have happened last week. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Yeah, mean! That take was sick! I think we’ve got that verse nailed now! Let’s jump onto the next chorus yeah?”

Him: “Nah, that’s not a chorus”

Me: “Oh, Sorry! I was meaning the part that you repeat multiple times throughout the song and is like the hook of the song….like a chorus….”

Him: “Yeah I know the part you mean but it’s not a chorus.”

Me: “Really? Sorry, Im confused! What is it then?”

Him: “You know how sometimes when you are laying in bed at night and you are stuck in a thought pattern? And no matter how much you shake it; it keeps coming back! When you wake up in the morning; you feel like you’ve gotten over it. But then as you go back to bed the next night; you lay there and the same thought keeps coming back into your head. Day in and day out. It’s not a chorus; that’s what it is.”

Fuck!

He absolutely blindsided me. I had to take a moment to sit there and replay what I had just heard over again in my head. It’s like he had single handedly given me the key to open the door of musical understanding to why we as humans love the chorus so much. I had honestly never tried to look at it through the angle of philosophy or from human nature….but it finally clicked.

The reason why we love choruses, the reason why we love the repetition is because we are having a human experience. And through the human experience; we often allow the same ideas and thought patterns to constantly wash over us again and again.

We betray ourselves, we hurt ourselves, we go around and around like we are stuck on loop and we keep coming back to the same conversations again and again. This is part of the human experience.

In his pain through the brutal break up of a relationship with the love of his life; he was using his verses as a way to develop his situation and look for growth and a more positive life; but the part that we consider the chorus would have him keep him coming back to this place of pain, laying in his bed, night after night with his brain taking him back to the place of betrayal and frustration.

His Verse; he was acting from the rational, analytical function of the frontal lobe in his neocortex. His “Chorus” (Or part that was acted as the Chorus but wasn’t a “Chorus”) was the subconscious and reptilian reactionary state. The part that he involuntarily kept coming back to.

It’s like an evolutionary phenomenon for our neurological pathways where the signals take the shortest and most familiar routes possible (The most used thought patterns) as a way of conserving energy rather than tiring itself out by constantly going to new places in our thoughts. Just like how traveling a familiar route by car uses very little mental energy, however driving on unfamiliar roads will leave us fatigued and ready for an early night.

So as we are laying there at night ready to sleep, our brains will often throw the same thoughts at us night after night because it’s the easiest thing for it to do. It is not the chorus. This is what it is.

The Beatles must have subconsciously known this; why else would so many of their biggest songs start off with the chorus (Here Comes The Sun, Help, She Loves You, Twist and Shout, Eleanor Rigby etc.)? Because every time these songs would start; it was that familiar lyrical and melodic idea that millions of people all around the world would recognise immediately and the dopamine would flood their collective neocortex’s and make them all lose their shit!

Think about how much of our human experience favours repetition. When you go to the bathrooms in the gym, do you often go to the same cubical? When you order your favourite takeout; do you frequently order the same thing? When you go away camping with your whanau at Christmas; do you consistently go to the same place? Do you have a favourite cup in your cupboard? A favourite drink you order each time you are out?

It is not a chorus. This is what it is. It is the human experience; it is life.

We like to think that as a species, we are much more in control than we perhaps are. Through the practice of meditation it’s easy to see that the Free Will we think we have; perhaps doesn’t exist at all (I could go down a massive rabbit hole on Determinism here but I will save that for another time). So when we go through this existence in a reactionary state; we often find ourselves un-aware of just how much of our lives we are swimming around and around in circles. After all; to repeat is to be human.

So the act of writing music can often feel like a sense of therapy to look at these thoughts through a different lens and allowing us to break the curse. By taking these persistent internal conversations and looking at them through the lens of poetry; song can almost act as a vehicle for relinquishing these past thought patterns and allow us to move onto the next idea that swims around and around in our head until we are also able to lay this next internal conversation down on a piece of paper and move onto the next. Rinse and repeat.

It is not a chorus. This is what it is

I looked up from the recording studios recording console into the Rappers slightly red eyes (The remnants of his lunch time spliff) and in that moment the differences of our world views meant nothing. He was having a human experience. And art is a mirror of our human experience.

We finished our session, I gave the him the files we had recorded that day, he put on his patched jacket and hopped on his Motorbike and drove off leaving me in a shroud of contemplation and toxic fumes. Shortly after this session my situation in life changed so we went on our seperate ways never to see each other again. But I think of him often and what I learnt from our chance encounter.

To repeat is to be human.

So when I am in the state of calm in my dimly lit lounge and I am practicing a state of mindful thoughtlessness and these same familiar conversations start creeping back into my consciousness; I smile and I remind myself that “It is not a chorus. This is what it is”

Toby Lloyd is a Music Producer and Mixing Engineer based in Wellington/Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Aotearoa. He runs the Recording Studio and Music Production business Tiny Triumph Recordings who work with local and international artists as well as Mixing Score for Feature Films.

Follow Tiny Triumph Recordings on Instagram here:
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It was a typical stormy winters day in Te Whanganui-a-Tara (Wellington) as she walked briskly into the bespoke Tiny Triumph Recordings Studio. Her face appeared to be soaked from the horizontal rain but as she took her first step into the room I could see the red in her bloodshot stained eyes.

I greeted her with a warm smile and as she attempted to open her frozen lips to say “Morena”; her shoulders dropped, her hands rose to her face and she broke into tears. It became immediately apparent that her face was not wet from the falling rain. The months of emotional turmoil had finally reached breaking point and as she entered a space that she knew she was allowed to be vulnerable in; she came undone.

This is a frequent occurrence in the studio for me as a Music Producer; where I work tirelessly to be the kind and caring support system for the artists I work with so that they can feel safe enough to allow themselves to be artistically vulnerable when creating and performing their art.

Upon meeting every single musician that I am about to embark on a journey of sonic exploration with; I go to great lengths to foster an open environment where the artist can feel exactly what they need to feel in order to deliver their music with the emotional impact and sincerity that all great music has. I become a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and an un-judgemental ear to listen.

Of course, not all Producers and Studios work like this; some rule with an iron fist and often try to beat the performance out of an artist. But in the same way that I was raised by my parents; I always find that the best way to get excellence out of people is to radiate with compassion and communicate with kindness. After all as Dale Carnegie once wrote: “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall”.

Writing Music is perhaps one of the most vulnerable things that we as a species can do. An actress gets to hide behind their character in the movie, a comedian can be on stage performing as a made up alter ego, a writer can channel a fictitious world that they have never existed in, but more often than not; a songwriter is baring their true unique soul for all of the world to see. After all; when people judge a song they are not just judging the melody, performance and choice of chords but they are also judging that persons true identity. The song is the artists deepest and most unfiltered expression of self.

We go through life often hiding who we really are and shielding our true selves; as we post airbrushed and filtered selfies onto instagram showcasing us at our absolute best and only posting a cut down greatest hits collection out of the hundreds of photos that we take over any given year. But music is not like that. Music is often written from a place of pure vulnerability and is an expression of an artists most intimate and often painful life experiences and this is what makes Music so beautifully unique.

To me; Music is humankind’s greatest achievement. Like the big bang; we take something that starts as nothing and using just the power and creativity of our brain, we can create entire sonic worlds that with the right care, becomes something tangible and which blasts out of speakers and headphones making the listener empowered, laugh, cry, get goosebumps, make life changing decisions and transports them into a world that has never existed before this moment.

For instance, have you ever listened to a song for what feels like all your life only to find yourself 20 years later in the right light, in the right headspace and the right environment that in that moment; you finally hear it for the first time? This is possibly the greatest magic trick that exists in music. You can listen to a song tirelessly over the years and you may think that you truly understand the lyrics and meaning only to have your life and this song perfectly marry in a single moment.

This happened to me recently; where a situation in my life had been unfolding over the previous 12 months and it had finally got me to a place where one day I decided to put on this song that I knew and loved since I was 16 years old. When the last chords finally rang out of my headphones I found myself laying on the floor feeling absolutely broken but renewed. It spoke to me. It felt like it was speaking for me. It felt like everything that was going on in my life was perfectly encapsulated in this 3 minute 47 second punk rock song (Yes, that’s very long for a punk song) and in that moment it felt like the world not only kicked my chest in but once it was done with the beating; it lifted me off the ground and told me that I was not alone and that I would be ok.

About a year ago I was laying down in bed with a terrible cold that had wiped me out so to keep my mind off the terrible flu like symptoms; I got out my laptop and started watching an interview with Eddie Kramer (one of the greatest Music Producers of all time). My son Arlo who was 7 at the time jumped under the covers and cuddled into me as we started watching together. At some point, Eddie mentioned a story about The Beatles to which my son asked “Who are The Beatles again?”. In my state of disbelief at this innocent question I jumped over to Spotify to go through some of their classics. We listened through many of my favourite songs of theirs and as we listened; I explained some of the song meanings.

We got to “Yesterday” and as I hit play; that hauntingly emotionally solo acoustic and vocal performance from Paul McCartney started emanating from the speakers. Arlo went unusually still and quiet. As the mournful strings slowly crept in to cement the sensation of longing; tears started welling up in Arlos eyes. The next minute we were both sobbing to the beautiful composition brought on by no other reason than baring witness to the awe and beauty of music.

Arlo had no knowledge of what this song was about but he didn’t need to in order to experience the emotion that Paul McCartney was trying to get across; because he could feel it. We laid silently with wet marks under our eyes while the song reached its conclusion….and then the opening chords of “Let It Be” came out of the speakers. Many more tears followed.

For a person who lives their life without the solace and belief in organised religion; I have found that music is my religion. The recording studio is my church. Sam Cooke my preacher and Lisa Hannigan my goddess. A mosh pit my support network and playing guitar; my act of prayer.

Not only does it act as my religion but it also acts as my Therapy. It holds my hand when the times are tough and lifts me higher when life is already great. It acts as a sonic journey through an audible and beautiful sunset in my mind and when I am feeling low it acts as caffeine in my veins.

I am not alone in feeling like this. For most non-musical people; music is purely just the thing that fills in the silence and may help push them to get that extra rep in at the gym. For most musicians and artists; music is our breath. It is our life force.

So when 2019 ticked over into 2020 and the world stopped; musicians all around the world didn’t know what to do and how to be. If they could not play shows and get together to make music; then how could they breathe? For the music community 2020 felt like the world had stepped on our artistic windpipes and held our heads under water.

The American singer-songwriter Justin Townes-Earle said in an interview (only a few months before Covid swept the world over) “if I didn’t do this (Play music), then I’d be in prison or dead right now”. When Covid hit and lockdown rolled on and on for months with no end in sight; he could no longer breathe and ended up taking his own life at the young age of 38 leaving behind a child and 8 jaw dropping albums of pure and honest songwriting.

In Aotearoa, our artists had a strange set of waves to surf where they constantly saw nice A-frames cruising towards them in the horizon only to discover that it was actually hectic and lumpy waves that were un-ridable and dangerous. Artists that I was working with would book their album release tour multiple times only to have to continuously postpone and postpone and then finally when no hope was left in sight; cancel their tour and their main source of income.

Their emotional resilience was wearing thin and with each passing month we saw more and more musicians at breaking point. They could not play shows. They could not enter recording studios. They could not breathe. Lockdown would lift but their hope and mental health was so shattered that they would take each step forward with extreme caution to avoid stepping on emotional broken glass.

While a good portion of the rest of the working world could exist in a corporate Zoom universe; the music world needed intimate connection. Because Music is and always has been a tool to bring communities and people together.

When the final wave of lockdowns finished and we moved to a traffic light system; the studios started opening up again and musicians would cautiously take baby steps back into those rooms that they knew and loved so well.

The tear soaked artist sat down on the couch feeling the safety of the familiar recording studio environment. I made her a coffee and she dove deep into talking about her turbulent life that had led her to this moment. We laughed, we cried, we talked philosophy, physical health, mental wellbeing and when she had finally gotten everything out that she needed to and her heart started calmly beating a regular rhythm again; she put down her empty coffee cup, walked up to the microphone and put her headphones on. I dimmed the lights, turned to her and asked “Are you ready?”. She looked over from the vocal booth to lock our eyes together. The red in her eyes had gone. A smile formed on her face and she gave me a friendly nod. I hit record.

Toby Lloyd is a Music Producer based in Wellington/Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Aotearoa. He runs the Recording Studio and Music Production business Tiny Triumph Recordings who work with local and international artists as well as Mixing Score for Feature Films.

Follow Tiny Triumph Recordings on Instagram here:
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Visit their website here:

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