Damn, what a crazy week.

Last weekend, I conquered a fear and went skiing for the first time in 20 years (when I accidentally hit a black diamond at age 6).

On Tuesday, I dislocated my shoulder during a workout. I’m typing this solely with my right hand as my left sits in a sling.

That wouldn’t be nearly as bad if I wasn’t moving this weekend and have a half marathon on the calendar next month.

Needless to say, I was bummed earlier this week.

Then I remembered an old cliche that rings true: God (or The Universe or whatever you believe in) never gives you more than you can handle.

I firmly believe that.

It may seem like a lot. It may seem like an L you won’t recover from, like life is shitting all over your plans. But it’s a test. And it’s a test you can pass.

Once I wrote that down on Wednesday morning, my mindset shifted and I’ve enjoyed the week a hell of a lot more. So what I have to pay for someone to move for me? So what I have to do things with 1 hand for a little bit?

It’s all part of the story. It’s just a test to pass. You can make fun out of it.

Mike Tyson once famously said that “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Being able to pivot and make lemonade out of lemons is an essential life skill.

If you’re feeling good, I’m happy for you. Let the good times roll!

But if you’re down in the dumps, it’s time to break out the ice cubes and sugar to make some lemonade.

Remember: God never gives you anything you can’t handle.

God Never Gives You More Than You Can Handle was originally published in Be Yourself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I walk down the street and wait at the crosswalk. A dusty gray van lets me go first. I wave.

Ten seconds later, just as I go across the sidewalk, I hear a loud “honk!” The hair on my arm stands at attention, my heart pumping through my chest. It was coming from the crosswalk I just passed, as two cars disagree over who had the right of way.

I shouldn’t have been that startled, I think to myself. I walk briskly to the office, with the anxiety of someone who overslept their alarm. It’s 7:00 am. I’m the first one in, again. Why did I have to rush? And why is my heart still beating so quickly?

I’m burned the fuck out.

Burnout is described as a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.

But that’s not how it feels.

I feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Like my blood is a constantly simmering stew. The stove’s been on so long that the house is beginning to smell like fumes of gas. I need to evacuate the premises, but there’s no exit. The doors have no handle, the windows have evaporated into thin air.

Yup, that’s about right.

After a few hours, I decided to take a walk outside. I felt like a zombie stuttering through a sleepless night. Physically, I’m there walking past you on Montgomery st wearing a nice button down J. Crew shirt tucked into my navy blue chino pants.

But looks are an illusion. Mentally, I’m far away. Wait, I’m not even there at all.

I walk back into the office, feeling about as fresh as month-old broccoli lingering in the back of the fridge.

I dip into a conference room, pretending to have a client call, only to stumble through a mindless vortex of email, Twitter, Instagram and back to email. I land on Twitter and find an influencer writing about wellness. What the fuck is an influencer, anyways? Into the rabbithole I go.

45 minutes later, I’ve read half a dozen of articles about mental health and am convinced I’m having an anxiety attack. I write a text to my girlfriend, who conveniently works in the same office, only a few feet from the room I’m hunkered in. “Do you have 5 minutes? I’m having a hard time”. I let the written text sit there for 10 minutes before sending. I make sure to delete the second sentence to not give an appearance of weakness.

Immediately upon her entrance into the conference room, I break down. Tears in my eyes, I fuddle through an explanation of my mental space. She assures me she feels like this frequently. “Does everyone feel this terrible?”, I think to myself.

Her words and support mean a lot to me. They make me feel better, kind of. I tell her I’m okay and sit back alone in the conference room. Is it just me or is it 1,000 degrees in here?

I decide to write down things I feel grateful for. It feels fake. I throw the page out.

I start writing this article, if not to publish it, to at least work through how I’m feeling.

I join the rest of my team, who don’t know how I’ve felt all day. We make late afternoon jokes and that makes me feel better too, kind of. I get dinner with a few friends and talk about life. This helps too, somewhat.

After a full night’s sleep, I start to feel better. I blow off a scheduled podcast with someone. I show up to work later than usual, still the first one in the office. The thought from the day prior lingers in my head — does everyone feel like this? Like they’re on an ever-moving hamster wheel with no true goal in mind, no true north they’re marching toward?

That question continues to stick with me — does everyone feel that way from time to time? Am I a failure or is this as human as it gets? This is shit they don’t teach you in college.

I listened to a great podcast this week between Brian Koppelman and Counting Crows frontman, Adam Duritz. Duritz is recognized as one of the best songwriters of our generation — with songs that can absolutely melt your heart. When asked about this, he said “it makes good music but it’s hard to live”.

Maybe that’s why we love music so much. We love hearing about the heartbreak, the grind, that they can barely afford their next meal. To a point, we can relate. And it makes us feel better about whatever we’re going through.

I wrote this article months after the day where I felt so horrible, so hopeless. I’m in a good mood, listening to the Rolling Stones through my headphones as I sit in a trendy cafe in Nob Hill, San Francisco.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday. It’s been a while since I felt like this but today seems as good of a day as any to post this blog.

Life is great. Life is truly beautiful. To think that all of the small things work every day — my ten fingers and toes, my hot water in the shower, my ability to read and write this article — is truly a miracle.

If you asked my friends, they’d say I’m an optimist. I’m usually upbeat and trying to bring good vibes with me where I go. I was recently told by a coworker that I must have been “born in the corner of positivity”, whatever that means.

But some days suck. Some weeks drag on. Some months it’s tough to see above the cloud over my head.

And during those times, I’m learning to be kinder to myself. Spend the $4 on that special coffee. Take 30 minutes in the morning to read a book or listen to some Kanye West. Set limits on the time I’m reading email.

It all goes in waves.

Sometimes I give advice on my blog. This isn’t one of those times.

But as someone with a small platform, as someone who appreciates every eyeball that lands on this site and as someone who gets some sort of sick therapy from writing, I wanted to open up the conversation.

Professional athletes are talking about it. There’s a ton of research indicating how important mental health. Anthony Bourdain, who was working in his dream job traveling the world, killed himself last year.

I heard my sister once say to be kind to everyone, because everyone is going through an internal battle. I believe that.

So if you’re feeling like shit today, don’t hesitate to seek help, either professionally or from a friend.

And if you’re feeling good, spread the positivity. We could all use some more of that shit.

Want a list of the top 10 books all millennials should read? Click here.

Here’s What Being Burnt Out Feels Like was originally published in Be Yourself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

There is a Japanese business concept, Kaizen, which means “continuous improvement.” This is the process that built Toyota Motor Company. It’s the process that ancient samurai warriors used to prepare for battle. It’s also the process that you and I can use to become better versions of ourselves.

It’s January, which means that most of us are setting resolutions that we’ll drop before The Super Bowl shows up in February. It’s easy to sit down and write down all of your goals for the upcoming year: the money you want to make, the weight you want to lose, the lifestyle you want to attain. It’s another thing entirely to make those goals a reality.

Most people see these goals and think that a dramatic, life-altering event takes us from point A to B. That couldn’t be less true. The way to make these changes is by getting 1% better each day.

The way to get rich isn’t with a lottery ticket; it’s learning to earn, save and invest consistently over time. The best way to get healthy isn’t a crash diet; it’s eating nutrient-rich foods and moving your body.

Bestselling author James Clear helps to make this point in the below visual. Every day we have the opportunity to either get 1% better or 1% worse.

As you can see, these tiny gains add up over time. If you get 1% better each day consistently, you create a compound interest on that growth that skyrockets you upward.

Here’s the point: the people that focus on getting 1% better each day will improve by 37X at the end of the year. Imagine your skillset now and where you could be if you were 37X better. It comes from small, daily improvements.

I promise that if you get 37X better at something, your life will significantly improve. Imagine your finances, your health, your relationship — your life — 37X at the end of this year. That’s insanely powerful.

So it’s really not about going balls to the walls every second. Life is a long game and the past is filled with stories of people who came out of the gates hot and burned out.

So, what does 1% better even mean? How do we track it? It’s all dependent on your goals, but here are a few examples:

• Spending an hour prospecting to find new clients for your business
• Eating a salad for lunch
• Writing even just one paragraph of your novel
• Calling your boyfriend to say goodnight
• Carving out five minutes to think of things you’re grateful for

Not bad, right?

Well, as important as getting 1% better is, it’s equally important to not fall into the 1% worse trap. 1% worse happens more often than we’d like to admit:

• Canceling a meeting “just this once” because you’re not feeling it
• Falling back asleep in the morning instead of getting up for the run you planned on
• Skipping your weekly guitar lesson
• Checking email the second you wake up, sending your anxiety through the roof

There is a part of Nike Founder Phil Knight’s Memoir, Shoe Dog, where Knight relives the experience of going public with Nike. After winning a tense negotiation with the investment bankers, Nike was set to go public, earning Knight and his team a handsome paycheck.

That evening, Knight tells himself “The first part is behind us. But it’s only the first part.”

He continues:

“I fell asleep for a few hours. When I woke up it was cold and rainy. I went to the window. The trees were dripping water. Everything was mist and fog. The world was the same as it had been the day before, as it had always been. Nothing had changed, least of all me. And yet I was worth $178 million.

I showered, ate breakfast, drove to work. I was at my desk before anyone else.”

I get chills just reading that. It didn’t matter that Knight had just made more money than most of us can even fathom. Because his mission was far from over. And he knew that one day — good or bad — wasn’t going to change him. Rather, a consistent effort of 1% better each day would be the only way. Phl Knight understood Kaizen.

Your life doesn’t change in wild swings of fortune; it changes because of the small, daily choices you make.

Your life will change wildly in the long run with a focus on getting 1% better today.

Want a list of the top 10 books all millennials should read? Click here.

1% Better: A Foolproof Way To Change Your Entire Life was originally published in Be Yourself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“Who is so talented that they can afford to bring only part of themselves to bear on a problem or opportunity?”, Ryan Holiday pondered in his book “Stillness is the Key”. This rings true on multiple levels.

Who is so talented that they can afford to bring only part of themselves to bear on a problem or opportunity?

For our biggest tasks — leading a team, training for a half marathon, raising a family — we simply can’t half-ass it. We need to bring our best selves every day. Life is hard enough without showing up foggy or in a bad mood.

A new father recently told me that parenting is the hardest thing he’s ever done — but don’t even try to do it hungover. He learned quickly that, without putting himself in his best state, he couldn’t perform at a high level of being a dad.

Getting in an optimal state requires so many things going right: getting enough sleep, being focused and present in the moment, among countless other factors. But what if we could put ourselves in the right state of mind from the morning we wake up? Tony Gonzelez made a case for that in a recent airing of the Ed Mylett podcast.

For the uninitiated, Gonzalez is one of the best Tight Ends in football history. He holds the NFL record for total receiving yards by a tight end. During his career, he only missed two games and lost only two fumbles on 1,327 touches. Gonzalez was inducted into the NFL Hall of Hame last year. In other words, he knows a thing or two about optimal performance.

Gonzalez’s mission is to help take people from living with their heads and push them to live with their hearts. Okay, that’s a little mushy, what the hell does that mean?

If you’ve played sports, you’ve likely heard your coach proclaim at halftime, “We need to play with more heart!” Or that the scared choir boy needs to sing from the heart to open up the Church.

There’s a scene in “Wedding Crashers” (Top 3 movie of all-time, in my books), where Rachel McAdams’ character is giving a wedding toast for her recently married sister. Owen Wilson’s character, while in the midst of a sly attempt to woo McAdams, tells her to rip up her speech. “It’s gotta come from in here”, he says pointing to his heart.

In Gonzalez’s words:

“When you’re in your heart, there is no fear of judgment, there is presence. You’re not worried about the last play or the forward play. There is complete confidence in yourself… That’s what poise is. That’s what Tom Brady is in the pocket.”

Think back through your own life. The biggest moments — the pitch you gave to the potential investor, asking your girlfriend to marry you, comforting your sister as she went through a heartbreak — you’re not even thinking. You’re in a complete flow state. Like you’re in a spaceship rocketing towards the moon, time ceases to exist. You’re not thinking about your to-do-list. You’re living with your heart.

We don’t have three hours each morning to hike up a mountain and meditate at the summit with the sun glowing on our face. In fact, most of our mornings look like quite the opposite — a hyper dog licking our cheek and a child crying in the next room while we try to remember what day it is.

This doesn’t limit our ability to get into our heart each morning. Gonzalez explains his morning routine, which can take anywhere from 5–20 minutes depending on the day.

“Every morning when I wake up, I don’t even up my eyes. I relax my body again… I picture my heart opening up. I picture a light coming out… I picture joy, I picture fulfillment, I picture compassion, kindness, I picture fearlessness, I picture power, unlimited ability through all that light. I feel the light shooting out of my body into the room then into the neighborhood then around the globe and me touching everything and seeing everything as God, seeing everything as connected.

He continues…

Now my heart is open and then I put the visualization in there. Now I see myself in 3–5 years where I’m gonna be. I see the best version of myself. Then I see myself doing this, what is my day going to be like? I go there now. I see myself being part of world positive businesses, I see myself doing a great podcast, I see myself at the main desk at Fox — or whatever it is. You build the greatest version of yourself. You see yourself in great shape, eating great food. Then you see your day going that way.”

This isn’t just woo-woo shit that your Aunt Karen mumbles about during Christmas dinner each year on her fourth glass of wine. There’s research around quantum physics that backs this theory up. There are countless celebrities, athletes and business people who’ve used similar practices to help them begin their day in the correct state.

In fact, I used Gonzalez’s method this morning. As I woke up in my mother’s house 2,000 miles and three time zones away from home, I felt restless. Rather than allow my mind to go through an anxious blender of restlessness and unfamiliarity, I followed Gonzalez’s advice.

I kept my eyes closed. I pictured that light in my heart filling me up with ambition, love, fearlessness, authenticity, empathy and gratitude. I felt those emotions getting sent through the house, the neighborhood and around the world.

I pictured myself in my peak state — loving, generous, patient, funny, bold. I spanned out to five years from now. I retraced to the present day: to the 3–5 things I wanted to be done beautifully and visualized myself accomplishing each task, one at a time.

I said a quick prayer of thanks and began my day. I felt the ocean of my mind reverse from a double overhead, choppy surf to a placid lake that wouldn’t rock any duck that floated on top of it.

You’re not reading this blog to be comfortable. You’re reading it to be your best self: for your business, for your family and for yourself.

I couldn’t more heavily advise trying Gonzalez’s routine. As always, take what works for you and leave the rest.

But just as you can’t eat an elephant more quickly than one bite at a time, you can only handle the best things in life if you bring your best self.

Want a list of the top 10 books all millennials should read? Click here.

Get From Your Head To Your Heart was originally published in Be Yourself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The worst gift I ever received was during a “White Elephant” game at a Christmas party a number of years ago. After what seemed like hours of choosing and stealing gifts, I ended up with a book titled “How To Look Smarter In Meetings”.

Maybe the gift was fine.

I hated it.

The book itself wasn’t harmful, about 50 short pages filled with small, humorous tidbits about the absurdities that happen in business meetings.

It was the title that really bugged me.

Because I don’t care about “looking smart” or “seeming cool” or putting up a facade.

I want to actually get smarter, to gain more skills, to be better.

In his book, “The Change Agent”, Damon West tells the roller-coaster story of his life. West grew up as a football prodigy and was hailed as the next great quarterback coming out of the state of Texas. After a disappointing college football career, he got deep into the world of drugs and crime, eventually landing him in Dallas County Jail with a 65-year sentence.

West told vivid stories of the gang culture in jail, taking relentless beatings on a daily basis and how his life was forever changed by the Coffee Bean parable. After seven years of pain and misery behind bars, West had the great fortune that set him free with 58 years of parole left on his sentence.

After all of his trials and tribulations — from a loss of identity to an addiction to methamphetamines to losing nearly a decade of his life in jail — West was asked by his Parole Officer what he wanted to do upon being free. West’s simple response: “All I want to do is be useful”.

“All I want to do is be useful” — Damon West

That hit home for me. And even though you may not be facing a prison sentence, it’s a lesson we can all learn from.

In my opinion, it’s much more valuable to be smart and useful than to just “look smart.”

If you just “look smart”, you may be given more responsibility — but won’t have any real skills to handle that responsibility once it’s given. Blown opportunity.

If you actually grow your skills and become useful to others, you’ll earn opportunities and make the most of them.

Maybe I took the book too literally.

But if you’re anything like me, you would want to know how to be more USEFUL in meetings than to just “look smart”.

Here are three ways to do that:

1) Be prepared and on time

It’s silly to me how many people show up 6 minutes late to a 30-minute meeting with no idea what the agenda is or what they want to get out of the meeting. If you’re prepared and came ready with a few talking points or notes, you’ll be able to make the most of whatever happens in the meeting. The best way to show respect to others — and ultimately get their respect — is to respect their time and be on time (or early).

2) Put away the devices

It drives me crazy to see 8 people in a meeting in the same room and everyone has devices open in front of them. It’s a meeting to discuss something, not see who can answer the most emails in 30-minutes. Phone down. Laptop shut. Actively participate. You don’t think people will notice. They will.

3) Take Notes

You’re there, on time and prepared. Your devices are shut. You’re actively participating. Be the person with the notebook open, jotting down the minutes from the meeting. Not only does it help you remember what was talked about, but you can also follow up on any action items that come from the meeting. This, again, means you’re being useful to the others in the meeting.

The most useful — and successful — people focus more on the steak than the sizzle. That is, they focus on the process and results, rather than how they look doing it. Bill Belichick once said that he is “not only in the steak business, but had contempt for sizzle.”

In a lyrical sense, Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd St Rhythm Band once sang “It’s not what you look like when you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s what you’re doing when you’re doing what you look like you’re doing.”

Put simply, it’s what you do that counts, not how you look.

Remember, the goal isn’t to “look smart”. The goal is to be useful. And great results follow from that mantra.

“It’s not what you look like when you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s what you’re doing when you’re doing what you look like you’re doing.”

Want a list of the top 10 books all millennials should read? Click here.

The Worst Present I Ever Received was originally published in Be Yourself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.