I’m a scientist and a mathematician and a comedian among other things. I got into an argument, I said that Trump was funny. An old friend of mine said that Trump was not funny because he made fun of a disabled reporter. My counter was that, no, he didn’t make fun of him for being disabled, he’d made fun of him for being retarded…using hand gestures like how Carlos Mencia had done in the early 2000’s. That yes, it’s not in good taste anymore, but that he was being funny, he was making fun of the guy for being an idiot which I suggested my friend was very familiar with as a concept. The whole point of mentioning that I thought Trump was funny was that I figured being funny and being able to take a joke is an important part of being a modern leader…

Example: George Washington famously had no sense of humor. Ronald Regan for his second inaugural got roasted by Don Rickles. Donald Trump was roasted on Comedy Central and announced his campaign on the roast. That Donny boy walked alone into North Korea, to meet with a guy that had launched a rocket over Hawaii, and that having a good sense of humor would come in handy in that sort of meeting.

I argued that the progress of comedy and free speech is the really the only progress society experiences, because in part, yeah technology is cool but the Nazi’s had better technology but they were jerks about it. Yeah America was a jerk back then too but we had “The Wizard of Oz” and Vaudeville, and Mark Twain…

Well, my old friend called me retarded and said I was on the spectrum. He didn’t make a funny gesture, just threatened to hit me in the mouth. I said don’t you see the irony, how you think Trump is a bad guy for making fun of someone for being a retard and you’re just being mean you’re not even trying to be funny.

Well, my old friend, he was also suggesting that vasectomies be mandatory, and maybe he cut himself out of my life. Two other friends cut themselves out recently during a logical argument, they had been yelling at me to never talk to the police, and I countered, “Bro, your Dad’s a cop…”

The whole point of this is that if logic and reason were enough, there wouldn’t have been an argument in the first place. My mathematical and scientific background didn’t help in the slightest, but my comedic nature, that’s the answer. Once the argument started I should have began making fun, and quickly have come to the understanding that my old friend was being retarded. I should have maintained a position several moves ahead of him and guided him, knowing all the while that he’s a retard. With this I would have avoided a conflict, still had my friend even though I don’t respect his intellect anymore and understand him to be a child; we can still joke around and do acid. Now I can’t even get more acid from the guy, and there’s no logic and reason to get the guy back as a friend. Had I accepted his mental condition sooner we would still be pals, instead I maintained reason amongst the unreasonable.

I hope you learned from my mistake.

-Alex Tarchoun