If you hear the word dance you have a box about it.

I also have a box about it.

This box, depending on where you grew up, what music influences you had, or what you saw, contains maybe ballet, folklore, jazz, or hip hop like mine or you think of ballroom, free movement, biodanza, ice skating, and so on.

Whatever you think of, says you have a box about it, certain framed pictures about dance, what you associate with it, how your body moves, etc.

And that’s it. How your body moves shows you how you think, interact with your feelings, and how grounded you can be here on earth. Also, it tells you what beliefs and paradigms you took from your culture, e.g., perfectionism, performance, etc.

When I started dancing, I was 6 years old. I loved tricks and wanted to be a gymnast, but there were no classes for kids in the town where I grew up. However, there was a dance studio. I remember that the reason why my parents were signing me up in the end, was scoliosis in my back.

I am naturally very mobile and flexible, but I was strong, chubby, and not typically ballerina slim.

I remember that in one of my first dance classes, I was first confronted with this thing: „I am not thin. I am not pretty.“ It confused me.

I had a love-hate relationship with my teacher. She was mean, loved concurrence, was intriguing and I could sense that she didn’t like me. I didn’t fit her box.

In one class we were training splits and I was sitting there as if I had never done something else. I saw the surprise in her face which quickly went to ignorance. But I didn’t care.

To have a box, a room where all your conditioning fits in, is normal. What is life threatening though is to be identified with it.

My first years of ballet and jazz dance were hard. I wasn’t chosen to dance good parts or get positive feedback but I stuck around because I loved it.

It kept me alive and I could feel something despite sitting in school.

There were times I spent every day after school in the studio training when we had performances. Due to the training, the technique, and the emotional abuse by my teachers I created a dancer`s deeply insecure box, a strong dancer though but not feeling her body from the inside but driven by unconscious fear.

And I learned colonial dancing. We learned to dance in lines and squares. We develop choreographies. Everything was measured. We stole movements from other cultures without naming the influences. Freedom of movement was tricky.

But in dance, you see how through the years this also broke depending on social or political crises and how people practiced calling back their spirit.

In dance, you practice that without knowing because of the moves, cross-pollination of techniques, people’s drive for healing, ancient Indigenous rituals, and bodywork methods.

And I went there.

I became obsessed with moving my body. After jazz came modern dance. After modern dance came contemporary. The more I got in touch with myself and my body the more it moved me to the floor. I spent years lying and crawling, pushing and pulling myself on and off the floor. I also loved to fly with martial arts and improvisation through the room. And most of my days I spent listening to my pelvis.

After a while, I learned how to feel again. I met a contemporary teacher. Her name was Britta. She offered a healing practitioner movement class. In class, she asked us to stand still and feel the floor, the belly, our sitting bones, and the tailbone. The whole class was about rolling up and down and connecting the bones, standing, lying, sitting, nothing more.

I remember how hard that was. Sometimes, my heart was racing just standing. Sometimes, I got so dizzy I had to lie down and sometimes, I almost threw up, but I came back to class again and again. The more challenging it was for my dancer’s box the more I came back because it nourished something different in me. I started to feel. I could let go of my belly and jaw and the woman in me I suppressed before let a seed free. Suddenly, it was about how I am someone and how I feel.

From that point on, a long journey began where I learned how to express sounds and sighs out of my mouth. I was not a functioning body anymore. And the same way I was conditioned to function in other areas of my life, things started to crumble.

Wishes, wants, and needs came through me I had ignored. I started to become a trained body therapist. I learned how to take back my brain by softening my center and ground.

The more I did that the less patriarchal patterns and beliefs could crowd my brain.

After a while I got stuck with my joy for dancing, injuries came, a pandemic came and as movement is frequency work it was heavier to move. It was not fulfilling me like before.

I was teaching for a long time but every time I went to the dance studio, I got bored.It was a different kind of boring. It was not that one when you just get lazy.It was this kind of feeling of “that`s it, really?”. 8 hours or more a day dancing, on stage or in the studio or teaching, it didn`t matter but still it was not enough. I loved the movements but I was tired of improvisation codes, standing in line, formations, being creative for the next and the next project, endless rehearsals, and diagonals. People judging me. The constant hunt for creative boosts. It was enough: falling into feedback and falling out of them, taking them in, and sometimes throwing them away.

I learned in Marokko to integrate more folklore into my life. Free dancing, including the chakras and much more let me enjoy the fluent energy that could travel through my body now. I enjoyed dancing with other people in one space in synchronicity or pieces.

However, there is a difference between dancing with other women in the space and dancing with women in the space.

In 2024 I met Orly. Orly spends most of her day lying on the floor, moving so slowly, and being with her pelvis, shaking it, circling it, having spiritual practice with it. I saw her piece „Rabia “ and I got hooked.

I met maroccain folklore in 2019 before, but I never saw women dancing and not even mixing it with contemporary, what I had trained.

There was something different about these women.

I, from my side, came from a weird women’s culture in dance where the community between us was fueled by anxiety of the boss bitch teacher feeding us envy, concurrence and intrigues. Later I danced with others and especially other woman but in essence alone. There was something were I could be with my body but also the bond of the women was palpable.

I started a workshop with her. While I was used to be with many different cultures in the studio being with these powerful women from all around the world in the studio was intriguing.

After the end of our workshop Orly came up to me and said:“ Nice to let me finally see your soul.“

I called back my spirit completely. I felt like the longest experiment and research of my life was ending and starting there.

Now I can not move differently anymore.

If someone offers me a box I don’t take it. I shrink it, move it around, poke it a bit.

It is only interesting for me if I can make it through it when dancing.

I give workshops now how to get through the movers box.

All these movements that women were not allowed to do in history.All these instruments there weren`t allowed to use. All these voices that were forbidden to sing. It Doesn`t matter in anymore. It shouldn`t be the chatter in our heads anymore. It should be the floor to dance of from with pride, rabia and juice.

Come join me…

For me it wasn’t about training my body to be somewhere or something. For me it is about discovery. It still is.

Christine

Instruction Manual: This text can be read in 3 D. You can transfer it to every possible thing (un)bound.

Part 1: So I was talking to a psychologist….

November…

03.11.2024:

Endure
Stay in the place and
Build on it
(Wait and see)
Strategy and focus
Upleveling
Invest money …in yourself
Looks
Apartment
Hair
Have a Massage

Building a foundation for yourself

because

This is the jungle!
In the jungle noone is really your friend or interested in you.
Everyone has an agenda.
There are just a few people that can come closer.
But the core is for you to protect by taking care of yourself not destroying yourself.

04.11.2024:

Dear Sir or Madam,
enclosed is my application as a PDF file for approval of a start-up coaching.

05.11.2024:

It takes time to transmute from game over to start over.

Although…

It is part of the male psyche to start over. It is not necessarily a woman psyche. That would be more a start with.

Start with might mean to invest in yourself and build brick by brick on the foundation that you have. It might mean to inherent the spaces that are yours, that you create…
…to maybe change them, change the whole inside of the space and go step with step, starting with again and again in the little things not over the big ones. Starting from zero to build something and be proud of it is a man´s game in patriarchy if it is just for the purpose of going up. But what if starting over moves differently, more as a wave, not bricks going on top of each other but really wide and smooth and with …?

Where are the ‘safe’ spaces?

‘There are none.’, says the patriarchy. So we have to build them ourselves. And where there are supposedly some, there are no safe spaces, because conscious spaces in the patriarchy only make things worse. They APPEAR to be safe.

„Confidence is the way to enlightenment“- Britney Spears

„The whole world is a strip club. There are people tossing the money and people doing the dance.“- JLo

So, the good thing is:

If you never understood the game you can already play a new game because all the people who claim to understand it are being caught up in it anyway.

What if the players in the corner or on the side already play something else but alone which then attracts people simply because the old game is dying anyway.

How about joining them and inherent the spaces that are not visible yet?

How about being a sog?

06.11.2024:

List:

*Collapsing under external pressure
*I don’t have to prove myself to my culture
*Family that doesn’t understand the game
*Low self-esteem
*Flight mode instead of fight mode and standing up for myself

Accept
Part of the process is accepting where you are — your “X on the map” — instead of trying to jump to where you think you should be. When you embrace your current state, even if it is uncomfortable, you give yourself space to learn and relax in the fluid state, the state of transformation. This state can be overwhelming and can easily spiral into chaos or deep drama if your unconscious patterns take over. But instead of fighting the discomfort, practice observing it from a neutral standpoint.
To manage these inner changes, it is helpful to talk to the different parts of yourself. Each part of you wants different things, and bringing these to the surface allows you to make conscious choices. Listening to your inner voices with compassion and clarity prevents one part from taking over the whole and leading you down the path of self-sabotage. For example, there is nothing wrong with overeating — it just has consequences. The question is: do you choose those consequences? If so, why don’t you accept your choice?

To maintain your inner stability, you must stop giving your center away to others, whether it’s authority figures or societal expectations. If you constantly adapt to other people’s systems without checking in with yourself, you risk losing your integrity and going through a “phoenix process” of transformation that is not really your own but shaped by external expectations. This results in a false version of yourself that is shaped by the desires of others rather than your own.

The solution is to experiment and define how you want to create space, how you want to interact with people, and what your culture and values ​​are. This doesn’t mean being perfect, but engaging in continuous experimentation to get closer to living a life of integrity. — Excerpt from the Article “ Building Inner Structure part 2” by Isabel Amarilis Esterl

Maybe there is something other than fear, namely resources?

07.11.2024:

I don’t feel safe at home and I don’t feel safe outside of home.
What makes a person feel safe?

I discovered this meme amongst my peers:

‘I am only allowed to have an apartment and be there when I have a job and am on duty. ‘

How about:

‘I choose where I live!’

Memetic Engineering on Strikingly

08.11.2024:

What happened that you are fighting against your higher self/lineage/purpose instead of with it together?

12.11.2024:

Note to myself:

People speak to you from their function, e.g. authority masks: their role speaks to you, not their being.

I didn`t notice that. I was unbelievably blind.

Dear women,

I have realized, or rather still experience, that I am in a deep grieving process. A lot is dying in and around me right now from different timelines and specifically in different relationships. For me, it is exciting to see, while I am liquid, how many assumptions about myself come my way or advice depending on which phase/feeling I am in at the time. That brings me to the wish to offer something about grieving again in 2025 cause there is a lack of understanding this. However, I am leaving this group for now.
In the course of this movement and this context here, a context war has arisen within me and it often doesn’t feel like I am building a bridge but rather like standing between the worlds and like an inner test of strength.

Thank you for this team!

13.11.2024:

To see the wound, you have to be in the wound…!?

There is a part of me that says: ‘I can’t control what you think about me, but I would like to. Because what I think is also controlled…!?’

How is that in you?

14.11.2024:

My so called ‘sisterhood wound’:

Living in a projection about me and living up to assumptions about me that are not me.

We project all the time.

We also make assumptions all the time.

I don`t feel stable.

What does stability mean to you?

Part 2: So I am calling back my spirit

So there is a big part of me when it comes to fear that is so terrified it doesn’t want to grow up. That is why people marry.

18.11.2024:

Problem is something you make. Life is something you live.

From the Internet:

Overcoming anxious attachment style: 5 tips
The good news is: Even people with anxious attachment styles can actively work on having a long-term, happy relationship. You can find out how this works in the following section.

Journaling
Self-knowledge is the first step towards improvement: Take time to reflect on your feelings and behavior in your relationship — a very good method for this is journaling. So create your own relationship diary.
It is important that you really take time to write regularly to document feelings and register changes. This way you can observe your development over time and always have a reference point for your emotional world.

Only when you know what you want to change can you actively work on it or talk constructively about it with your partner.

Seek physical and emotional closeness
A key feature of secure attachment behavior is to seek both physical and emotional closeness to your partner in stressful times.
So, to overcome your anxious attachment style, you can try to turn to your partner in challenging situations. Dare to do it!
Be a safe haven
If you feel safe, secure and supported in the presence of your partner most of the time, you have overcome your fear of loss or commitment.
But how do you do that?
First, start with yourself: Can you be the safe haven for your partner?
According to psychological studies, the following valuable strategies help to cultivate this safe space in your relationship:
* Be attentive when your partner is looking for support.
* Try to empathize with your partner’s feelings.
* Give your partner comfort and find reassuring words when he or she needs it.
* At the same time, respect your partner’s autonomy and freedom of choice.
So, generally speaking, focus on strengthening your ability to empathize. This is how you manage to be a safe rock in the surf in your relationship and overcome insecurity.

Strengthen your “I”
A promising strategy to overcome your commitment insecurity is to strengthen your self-confidence.
This is how you strengthen your self-confidence:
* Recognize your strengths
* Visualize your goals (for example with a vision board)
* Set healthy boundaries in your relationship
* Learn to say “no”
By finding more of yourself, it is easier for you to maintain inner peace and composure in a relationship.
Your emotional state is more stable. This helps you not to question your relationship immediately at the slightest emotional “shock”. Ask yourself several times a day:
* How am I feeling right now?
* What do I need now? This helps you to strengthen your self and not lose yourself in the other person.

If you have found more security in yourself, this automatically transfers to your behavior in relationships.

Coaching
In order to recognize your relationship patterns, you often need a neutral view “from the outside” and a helping hand.
A professional coach and targeted, structured exercises for at home can help you
* get out of your thought carousel,

* dissolve beliefs,
* change your behavior in relationships in the long term.

19.11.2024:

Differentiation means:
I can relate to your needs without losing touch with my own.
Or: I can be open to you and your feelings without losing focus within myself.
Or: I can be in a relationship without sacrificing myself.
Or: Because I feel good about myself in relationships, I can also feel you without losing myself in them.
Or: I can continue to freely realize myself in my relationships and, in this context, support you in developing freely.
And: I can relate to your needs without becoming angry and rebellious or constantly feeling like I’m being neglected because I can trust that my needs also have their place.

Hello people willing to transition,

there has been a fashionable diagnosis in recent years with a high number of unreported cases…borderline.

What is patriarchally reported as a diagnosis is ultimately just the symptom of a sick society that creates disorders in order to continue to function.

But the fact that it is ultimately about coping mechanisms of people who grew up in an environment that is unfriendly to children and that this is the core of our culture is not usually the issue, but rather a matter of business thinking.

What is true, however, is that certain behaviors and an environment that neglects emotions over the long term lead to changes in the amygdala.

Nobody here knows how it works, because over centuries, the limbic system and the amygdala, our nervous system and our thinking have changed. And we underestimate that.

In order to collectively understand and be able to endure what the quality of time says, you need to look at what the behaviors are that you are experiencing and what mirrors appear. If you integrate your inner addict, schizophrenic, borderliner, we are a little closer to ourselves. Fewer excuses. More understanding. That is ultimately what diagnoses are for, namely as a means of mindfulness and to be able to take responsibility.

And borderliners would like to break through the duality but they suffer from it. And we can see this behavior. Extreme views have become immensely rampant. Polarity everywhere. What do you do in a world full of extremes? Get into your body and stay there! Balance on the edge!

20.11.2024:

There is no way until you walk it.

22.11.2024:

Just sit with this today: ‘The diagnosis you get are merely symptoms of colonialism and the methods used often claimed by modern medcine are actually from indigenous people.’

It takes a while until what comes through you is so sustainable that it will not go away and „just be“ an impulse.

Because our soul is at home in the here and now. It always has been. The mind lives in the past, the mindfuck with its eternal “what if” chains of thoughts lives in the future. And so ceremonies celebrate exactly what is present here and now.— Kaja Andrea

23.11.2024:

Patriarchy… Father… through the father…

To fill in a gap: Matriarchy is not the opposite of patriarchy. It was a completely different social order. It was regulated through the mother but the sons were not less valuable and it was inclusive not exclusive.
You stayed in the big family.

24.11.2024:

The ego kicks in when it comes to leaving the rescuer role and showing oneself vulnerable and just staying with oneself. When this threshold comes, oneself creates a perpetrator and a victim, namely that oneself is the victim and has to be saved as a distortion. This comes up because in that role people have to save so much which is actually too much for them but thriving on that as an ego boost.

So…

25.11.2024:

Capitalism in the Final Stage

Who`s strings are you attached to when you are not bond?

In our culture, it is common that only the attached woman is really part of the game. If she is unattached but successful in business/growth, then she is a threat to the game.

Capitalism has brought about one “positive” thing. Women can create financial stability for themselves and their children. This puts men in a different position. Never in history have women been independent of men.

Women can decide to stop being the therapist in their relationship with men and to stop dealing with the man’s shadows. Men are not capable of dealing with their own psyche. They need life. They need women to regulate themselves at all.

When women stop investing their resources, men are left to their own devices in their psyche and it is up to them whether they will really expand their consciousness and integrate their shadows.

It takes a lot of standing up for yourself and embodying your own vision crystal clear and constantly committing yourself so that women can stay with themselves and endure this freedom.

Because it is a law of alchemy, the unattached woman is dangerous for the patriarchy because she lives what contradicts the patriarchy.

If patriarchy means to be bound to something or someone, I bind myself to the sea. In that way I am only a threat to myself.

Have a good listening…

Love,

Christine

…unlearned to trust her instincts

…got diagnosed with chronic depressive disorder although it is just the normal fear every woman is in in patriarchy and grieving in order to grow up

…collapses under pressure

…just wants to be on a farm with animals, plants and children

…trained herself to mix fear with anger and fear with sadness so she goes from hysteria to isolation like patriarchy is

…didn’t learn how to use her fear as creative power but as something that she need to repress in order to survive

…is most of the time terrified

…is a plant that might blossom in women’s company but in modern culture shops of her colors and hides in her roots

…was compared constantly to her mother as if she has no identity

…learned to constrict her anger by wearing braces

…learned to use her anger to repress herself by jogging it away

…pushed people away that she desperately needed out of shame when she noticed she was too needy

…desperately needs touch

…has no clue how to survive or live

…was dehumanized first by others than by me because of what time quality brought and then dehumanized others

…is often in constant fight with the man in her

…stopped making decisions or experiences because of the consequence

…learned not to be able to hold herself

…stays unbond to anyone in order to apparently be free

…learned to repress, deny and disown her sexuality

and

…she also knows how to unlearn things and learn new things.

❤️

The Woman in me… was originally published in NEXT CULTURE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I am Christine. I am a white woman. I am German.
And I am not these things.
I am human. I have five bodies. I move. I think. I feel. I sense. I have a purpose.
This is it.
Nothing more and nothing less.
It is 2020 and it could be that simple.

Fear everywhere.
I am sad, because I feel mother earth in turmoil, out of breath, suffering from our irresponsible ways, longing for flow again.

Rigidness, being overruled, being ignored, being invalidated. Fighting.Fleeing.
We all tried that now.
I am angry, because it doesn’t look to me if it is enough.
Stop it. Pause. Feel. Now what?
So why hurting our biggest grounding court?
Aren’t we all tired from that game or is it just me?

I feel sad, because there is nothing I can say anymore.
I feel sad, because humans seem so busy to cut their origin away, to pull out their own roots…so busy in not accepting!
I feel sad, cause the game that is currently happening just creates more separation, illusion, arrogance, confusion and hostility for me and in me.
I struggle with these predatory energies. They got excess to my bones, through my ancestors to me.

I need grounding. I need touch and communication through feelings.
And I am dedicated to fully incarnate into my body here on this planet.
I am here for clarity, love, compassion, dedication, empathy, connection…
And I will fail sometimes and sometimes I will experience winning just happening. No zero-sum-games.
And It will be painful. I will struggle and go through shit. It will be dark and brown and smelly and come in all kinds of shapes.

I will die many times and be reborn again.
That is how it works.
Let your fear be empowering for you and finding new possibilities instead of fighting against life or death.
You have this life here and now.
If the universe sends you a curve ball. Catch it.
It might be a golden one.
And tell me:
What is your why on this planet?

Father’s Control is one of the 8 prisons you encounter in yourself while leaving your inner patriarchal structures behind and implementing your own culture in reality.

While you are stoping to deny, disown and surpress patriarchal patterns, leaving father’s control is one step in creating and cavitating space with your value in your surrounding.

You can read more about cavitating space in the book ‘Cavitation‘ by Clinton Callahan.

What is father’s control:

If you are a woman like me you are carrying the seed in you for a whole different culture than the culture you grew up in.

Before the Industrial Revolution patriarchy functioned in a way that the law given was given to control men. Their psyche moves towards aggression and lust which needed to be handled by other men giving them their insight how to be with women ( if that was good or bad is another conversation) and with Mother Earth. ( The latter went down the drain quick anyway)

The most difficult relationship is the relationship between son and father and people didn’t know how to control young adult men acting out hormones when they were kicking in. While developing in the growing up process the male psyche gravitates towards immense fear and hysteria as well as aggression due to increasing testosterone levels.

Up to this point the boundary making biologically was healthy and made by the fathers whilst the natural drive was concurrence and competition in patriarchy.

However through industrial revolution this control was also put on women through the rise of the good guy. Giving man the ensureance that there is a woman for them without having to compete the nuclear family was born and the twistedness of patriarchy turning the psyche of male and female around manifested even more.

For more understanding of this watch the YouTube video:

- YouTube

Patriarchy is the main culture for more than the last 4000 years and is built upon men’s behavior of being out of control over their own psyche.

It became and still is a death and rape culture because male’s biggest fear is empowered women. It shifts life being centered around mothers, children and GAIA making them ‘useless’ if they are not willing to face their egos.

If you are a woman having the seeds for creating life naturally within you not only by the obvious having eggs for fertility and getting a baby but also for building out sustainable gameworlds creating life on earth, you might see that cavitation is the only way to even survive.

In the past centuries there is a terrible imbalance happening on the planet where the colonial capitalist patriarchy creates so much death and rape that women are done so much so that in reality living with a man or considering a relationship with a man becomes in many components obsolete.

How it was before is not an option anymore.

The father’s play an important role in that path.

You were born in and you grow up in patriarchy having a father that grew up in patriarchy.

So now what happens is that all your believes, thoughts and structure was built upon your father’s control meaning he didn’t learn how to be around women from his father so he cannot really feel himself being around you. And that leads to either being totally absent or over controlling and surpessive of your path as a woman.

As I find clarity in all my bodies the last weeks through processes, reading and experimenting, I noticed that I feel constantly threatened in my culture being around my father.

And also till this day I have no radical honest relationship to the male sex or men and I am still terrified in some parts of me to do so.

I can sense and notice the impact the uninitiated male psyche has on me and other women.

I even found places having no interest at all to understand or be with a man, protecting my love given.

I was under the illusion that my father loves me but I found out that in many ways he is actually incapable of love. He doesn’t even love himself because he has no interest in getting to know his parts.

There is a book called ‘ The 5 components of Love” by Princella Clark which shows the patriarchal construct of love and how the game is structured.

This book helped me to gather some distinction that before I let slide by my good girl and pretending strategies, e.g. it gives a distinction about understanding in relationship and how important that is.

For me up too this point it was normal that I explained myself and run after man to make me understandable. It was ok for me to be not ok about not feeling understood by man. It was ok for me to be projected on to be ‘the emotional one‘ or ‘the hysteric‘. I understood and felt that this is a projection and not ok for me.

Still something else about this clicked in me so much so I can keep my center even more around men.

So here are some hints that you are living in father‘s control:

1) If you still seek to understand men and giving them your center and they are not interested really understanding you, you are still in father‘s control. ( Understand is not bound solely to the mind)

2) If your interaction with men is through the white widow strategy, you are still in father‘s control.

3) If you let yourself and your seed being invalidated by men, you are still in father‘s control.

4) If you are looking for a job in patriarchy as a woman and not creating your own growness, you are still in father‘s control.

5) If you are looking for a job or creating your own business for the purpose of seeking validation, you are still in father‘s control.

6) If you accept the lack of compassion, sacrifice or humility in your relationships there is no love and you are still in father‘s control.

7) If you keep moving around not building roots for yourself, you are still in father‘s control.

8) If you have no desire, no vision, no goals of your own, you are still in father‘s control.

9) If you are in a relationship with a man still married you are still in father’s control.

10) If you seek to find the so called „Spirituality“ outside of you, you are still in father‘s control.

11) If there is any area in your life where you live and love in a linear way, you are still in father‘s control.

12) If you can not allow yourself to be, walk and act in the world as you want, be visible and birth your projects however it is necessary, you are still in father’s control

13) If you find yourself being a slave yet to the next context held by men but built by women through time, you are still in father’s control

14) If you….

experience all that it might be that your whole box structure is built upon being some kind of servant or slave around men.

No matter how much gameworlds, businesses or offerings you hold space for. As long as the context in which you are doing that are given by men or even a male perspective on the distinctions and rules of the game you are a slave to his patriarchal agenda.

There are more and there might be more or different things for you.

Reach out to me what you found. I really want to know.

We all need to leave father’s control at these times if we want to leave patriarchy behind.

We women need to empower ourselves if we want to leave father’s control and hold onto that because the biggest fear of every father and men in general is a strong independent ( meaning empowered through their own creations and holding space for others) daughter/woman.

I am offering a 4 weeks training consisting of 4 work-talks including experiments on leaving father’s control. It is followed by an intense training focused on each of the individual topics presented in the individual work-talk.

The training is called ‘Dragon Training‘.

No matter if you are nomadic, settled down somewhere or what your living situation is at the moment, ‘Dragon Training‘ speaks to your foundation as a woman from where you will and want to blossom.

It is built up like the flat you want to live in or moreso the space you want to cavitate for yourself and your visitors.

To put it in an universal picture I use kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom as the 4 pillars of this foundation. Please choose what names of the pillars of the foundation work for you.

The work-talks will be:

1) Kitchen: Nourishing your Bodies - What does it take to extract your bodies from father’s control

2) Bathroom: The cyclic way of life and how to extract your practice from father’s control

3) Livingroom: Your best friend in creating: the nervous system and who are you creating for…

4) Bedroom: Sexuality — Extracting your life force of patriarchal father’s control

My purpose is not to make it cliché. My purpose it to make it graspable for you by using room analogies.

The training is exclusive for women.

Depending on who will show up the training will be in German or English or both. I will organize a translator if necessary.

The dates are named by the number:

1) 21.09 10 to 11:30 am CET

2) 28.09 10 to 11:30 am CET

3) 5.10 10 to 11:30 am CET

4) 12.10 10 to 11:30 am CET

You can register for all or each of them.

Each work-talk’s exchange is a sliding scale of 15 to 40€. If you come for the whole package you pay 40 to 60€.

Register via telegram @christinehaerz or write me directly here on medium in the comments and I send you the details.

Also you can register to my newsletter here: https://christineploschenz.org

Meanwhile find a first experiment to do here and share yours in the comments:

Practice taking the center back from your father by extracting your energy out of patriarchal structures. This could mean trying to live for 3 months in a different city or culture, living with other women want to leave father’s control or create sth. For me it meant making peace and friendship with my fear so she doesn’t only show me the survival options. For that EFT, BreathWork or any other body centered practice can be a catalyst.

For more information reach out to me.

If you notice your ‘Dragon’ scratching himself/herself now, resisting and telling you that you are already there and you don’t need that, welcome to your fear of leaving father‘s control behind.

Father’s Control is patriarchy.

You might not even have left your parents bubble yet because leaving your parents bubble and creating your gameworld starts with leaving patriarchy hence father’control first.

See you on the other side

Love, Christine

Father‘s Control was originally published in NEXT CULTURE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Dear Teenager of the 2020,

I am sorry.

We failed you!

You are already smarter than all of us combined and there is no adult to be found matching your need of guidance and wisdom so you be empowered enough to do what you came here to do.

I want you to know. With all your self - cannibalistic, self-destructive and self-harming behaviors, e.g. trying drugs, alcohol, cutting yourself you are mirroring the worlds pain.

You show us GAIAs pain and rather murder GAIA and the potential of villages in you instead of doing what always has been done. You show us the committing of ecocide and genocide in the world.

The pain you feel is not your individualistic pain you feel. That is just the egocentric worldview of the people around you trying to make you the problem.

You are not the problem. You are the solution!

You carry all the next needed seeds in you for building new ways of living together, next cultures and a hell a lot of wisdom!

The Zombies job out there is to integrate you back into the system. That is why they will do everything to make you believe that you are all alone, that you are the problem and something is wrong with you.

But you are ok!

I am sorry that you need to take drastic measures dealing with you feelings and emotions. I am sorry that you have to create your own initiations into adulthood because there are no suitable adults around yet to hold space for you.

You are not alone!

Thank you for still being here!

//

Liebe(r) Teenager(in) des Jahres 2020,

es tut mir leid.

Wir haben dich im Stich gelassen!

Du bist schon jetzt schlauer als wir alle zusammen und es gibt keinen Erwachsenen, der deinem Bedürfnis nach Führung und Weisheit entspricht, also sei stark genug, das zu tun, wozu du hierhergekommen bist.

Ich möchte, dass du es weißt. Mit all deinem selbstkannibalistischen, selbstzerstörerischen und selbstverletzenden Verhalten, z. B. Drogen- und Alkoholkonsum oder Selbstverletzungen spiegelst du den Schmerz der Welt wider.

Du zeigst uns den Schmerz GAIAs und ermordest lieber GAIA und das Potenzial der Dörfer in dir als so weiter zu machen wie bisher. Du zeigst uns die Verübung von Ökozid und Völkermord auf der Welt.

Der Schmerz, den du fühlst, ist nicht dein individualistischer Schmerz. Das ist nur die egozentrische Weltanschauung der Menschen um dich herum, die versuchen, dich zum Problem zu machen.

Du bist nicht das Problem. Du bist die Lösung!

Du trägst alle notwendigen Samen in dir, um neue Formen des Zusammenlebens, neue Kulturen und verdammt viel Weisheit aufzubauen!

Die Aufgabe der Zombies da draußen ist es, dich wieder in das System zu integrieren. Deshalb werden sie alles tun, um dir das Gefühl zu geben, du seist ganz allein oder du seist ein Problem sund mit dir stimme etwas nicht.

Aber du bist ok!

Es tut mir leid, dass du drastische Maßnahmen ergreifen musst, um mit deinen Gefühlen und Emotionen umzugehen. Es tut mir leid, dass du deinen Weg ins Erwachsenenleben selbst finden musst, weil es noch keine geeigneten Erwachsenen gibt, die Platz für dich schaffen und dir Raum halten.

Du bist nicht allein!

Danke, dass du noch hier bist!

To the Teenagers was originally published in NEXT CULTURE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

(Original-Text Englisch)

„Deine vorkolonialen, friedlichen Vorfahren haben für Dich gebetet. Ich sage es noch einmal: Deine vorkolonialen, friedlichen Vorfahren haben für Dich gebetet! Was für eine Ehre! Was für eine tiefe Ehre! Es ist kein Zufall, dass wir heute hier sind. Empfange das mit Deinem Herzen. Lass es sich öffnen!“ Dra. Rocio Rosales Meza

In diesem Artikel ist es meine Absicht, Licht auf die Gedankenwelt des kolonial kapitalistischen Patriarchats zu werfen und Praktiken zur Entkolonialisierung des Geistes anzubieten. Während ich dies schreibe, bin ich ein Schülerin derselben Praxis und schreibe aus meinen Experimenten. Ich werde einige davon und das Gold, das ich durch sie gefunden habe und wahrscheinlich finden werde, während ich dies schreibe und während ich den kolonialen Drachen in mir entlarve, mit Dir teilen.

Der koloniale Drache

Der koloniale Drache hat drei Köpfe:

Der erste Kopf:

Das Bildungssystem.

Es ist ein koloniales Indoktrinationssystem. Es lehrt uns, auf externe Autorität zu vertrauen und nicht auf das innere Wissen oder die Intuition. Dabei geht es nicht nur um den Inhalt, sondern auch um den Prozess der Schulung, z. B. passiv zu sein, nur zu empfangen, sich sein Spiel verdienen zu müssen oder Leistung zu erbringen, während man die kolonialen Methoden lernt, wie man ausbeutet, indoktriniert und Macht über andere ausübt, anstatt sie mit anderen auszuüben.

Der zweite Kopf:

Die moderne Psychologie.

Der Hauptzweck der modernen Psychologie besteht darin, uns taub und mitschuldig zu halten. Der Hauptzweck der westliche geprägten Psychologie ist es, dich wieder in die Kultur zu integrieren, die dich ursprünglich indoktriniert oder krank gemacht hat. Durch den Einsatz von Medikamenten und Werkzeugen, die die Kraft einer lang anhaltenden Transformation in sich tragen, erwachen viele Menschen und fühlen etwas, aber dann wird diese Lebendigkeit unterdrückt, verleugnet und geleugnet, da es keine weiteren Möglichkeiten gibt, daran anzuknüpfen. Therapie (Zuhören, Empathie, Raum geben) an und für sich ist eine einheimische, indigene Praktik. Und diese Praktik ist notwendig und wertvoll.

Die moderne Medizin lässt Dich jedoch auch glauben, dass Du das Problem bist, dass Deine Familie oder Deine Gruppe das Problem sind, und stellt den Schmerz nicht in einen größeren kulturellen Kontext. Für die große Mehrheit der Menschen wird die Diagnose zu einem Etikett und fast zu einem gesellschaftlichen Todesurteil. Ihre geistige Gesundheit wird zu einer Skala, die bestimmt, wie sehr Sie auf koloniale Weise funktionieren können (Extraktion, Macht über, Vorherrschaft), anstatt Sie zu Ihrer eigenen Autorität als oberster Priorität zu führen.

Der dritte Kopf:

Kult(ur) der Scham, Schuld und Schuldzuweisung

Sekten nutzen das Trennungstrauma aus, das in der modernen Kultur bereits existiert. Weil sowieso alle gegeneinander sind, verpetzen sich die Menschen gegenseitig beim (Sekten-)Führenden. So überlebt das koloniale Paradigma.

Es gibt sechs Schritte, wie die Kultur der Scham, Schuld und Vorwürfe aufgebaut wird:

1. Leg den Grundstein, indem Du den Leuten sagst, was sie hören wollen, und indem Du weißt, welches die richtigen Knöpfe sind, die Du drücken musst

2. Erhöhe Deine Gefolgschaft

3. Manipuliere Ihr Denken

4. Versprich Ihnen, ihre eigene Autorität wiederzuerlangen durch verschiedenste Praktiken aber eigentlich gehen sie nur von einem Ort zum nächsten ohne wirkliche Transformation

5. Kontrolliere Dein Image.

6. Werde unsterblich.

Wenn Du dich damit näher befassen möchtest und eine Außenperspektive gewinnen möchtest, empfehle ich Dir die Netflix-Serie THE CULT LEADER. In der Serie wird buchstäblich erklärt, wie „berühmte“ Sektenführer ein koloniales Paradigma aufstellten und davon kannst du auch ableiten wie dies teilweise in unseren Systemen ausgenutzt wird.

Vielen Dank fürs Lesen. Vielen Dank, dass Du diese Arbeit machst.

Die Fallen des kolonialen Geistes

Jetzt möchte ich die Fallen des kolonial istischen kapitalistischen und patriarchalischen Gedankenguts benennen.

Diese Fallen sind eine Liste der Möglichkeiten, wie sich der koloniale Geist zeigt. Während Du diese Liste liest, habe ich einen Vorschlag: Lies sie nicht wie jede andere Liste durch. Steh auf und stelle Deine Füße auf die Erde. Leg eine Hand auf Dein Herz und die andere Hand auf Dein körperliches Zentrum, drei Finger unter Deinem Bauchnabel. Halte ein Buch mit leeren Seiten bereit und schreibe Dir auf, was Dir beim Durchlesen der Punkte an deinem Gedankengut auffällt. Mach Pasuen beim Lesen und schüttel Dein Becken im Liegen oder Stehen und halte Deine Knie gebeugt.

Loies weiter:

• Überlegenheit (Dinge und Menschen als etwas sehen, das man verbessern kann)
• Extraktion (aus deiner Energie extrahieren, anstatt dem zu vertrauen was da ist)
• Anspruchsdenken (mehr verlangen als angeboten wird; wenn man das Gefühl hat, mehr bekommen zu haben, mehr geben)
• Fragmentierung (nur bestimmte Teile von sich selbst zeigen, nur den Verstand, nicht die Seele, von Mutter Erde getrennt sein)
• Dringlichkeit (wie mit einem Gefühl zu interagieren, dass Dich gewalttätig werden lassen könnte)
• Transaktionale Beziehungen vs. in den Dienst für etwas größeres stellen (Frag Dich: Wenn ich dieses Angebot wirklich erhalten habe, wie kann ich in diesem Moment von Nutzen sein für alle?)
• Perfektionismus (als Werkzeug, um Dich zur übermäßigen Einhaltung von Regeln zu bewegen; so bleibst Du ein Komplize kolonialen Denkens)
• Weiße Privilegien
• Individualismus oder Hyperindividualismus
• Fortschritt um jeden Preis … menschliche Kosten … Ausbeutung des Körpers … Landkosten … für kolonialen Fortschritt für Erholungszentren von Menschen, die zuvor schon ausgebeutet wurden
• Weißes Rettertum & Special Snowflake Syndrom (in einigen Kulturen gibt es den Glauben, Religionen usw., dass es Gottes göttliche Aufgabe ist, Länder zu kolonisieren. Das führt zu einer ICH-Kultur, in der der Glaube entsteht: Ich bin der Auserwählte und ich habe etwas Besonderes zu bieten, wo wir alle gebraucht werden! Und diese Dynamik wird sogar noch durch moderne Technologie befeuert, wo Algorithmen diese Denkweise auf Apps übertragen)
• Westliche Medizin (Es ist nicht der einzige Weg. Es ist ein echter Weg, aber nicht der einzige. Erweitere Deine Vision.)
• Entmenschlichung
• Intellektualisierung
• Kompartimentierung
• Horten
• Abwehrhaltung
• Bequemlichkeit/Sicherheit druch Geld
• Binäres Denken
• Leistungsdenken als einzige Prämisse
• Gefühllosigkeit
• Als Autorität auftreten
• Geld vs. Beziehung
• Lineares Denken und Starrheit (Dies hat seine Wurzeln im Patriarchat. Ständig in toxischer männlicher Energie sein, während weibliche Arten, im Fluss und im Einklang mit Mutter Erde zu sein, unterdrückt werden. Sie ist nicht immer produktiv. Es gibt Zeit zum Ausruhen.)
• Druck- und Zusammenbruchsdynamiken
• Selbstzweifel
• Klagen
• Als Lehrer auftreten
• Zwangsweise Trennung von deinem Geburtsland
• Nichtbenennung deiner Lehrer/Raumhalter, von denen du gelernt hast

Du kannst dich darin üben, diese Fallen zu erkennen, dich von ihnen zu lösen und sie zu transformieren. Ich habe Memetic Engineering, Boogie-Busting und indigene Praktiken wie Initiationen/Ahnenarbeit als hilfreich empfunden. Hier sind einige Brückenbauer/innen, die du kontaktieren kannst:

Possibility Managers on Strikingly

Einige Aspekte meiner Komplizenschaft und Kollusion mit dem kolonialen Paradigma und was mich dazu befähigte, mich davon zu trennen

Auf diesem Bild siehst Du ein Mädchen, das von einem Netz aus Sätzen bedeckt ist, die Erwartungen oder Verurteilungen der Kultur unserer modernen Gesellschaft darstellen. Sie sind ihr sehr nah. Leider kenne ich den Namen des Mädchens nicht, das es gemalt hat, aber ich war von diesem Bild beeindruckt.

Ich hatte ein ähnliches, als ich jung war. Ich hatte ein Bild auf einem Flohmarkt gefunden von einem Mädchen, dass nackt in einem goldenen Vogelkäfig sitzt.

Ich habe dieses Bild ausgewählt, weil es beschreibt, wie das koloniale Paradigma Dich wie eine dicke Decke bedecken kann.

Wenn es um Komplizenschaft und ‘geheime Absprachen’ geht, muss man verstehen, dass dies stufenweise geschieht. Von 0 bis 7 Jahren entwickelt sich die körperliche Intelligenz, von 7 bis 14 Jahren die emotionale Intelligenz und von 14 bis 21 Jahren das wirkliche Denken, normalerweise das tiefe Denken.

In diesem Alter hast Du dich durch Deine Erziehung und durch das was dir geboten wurde und deine Lebensweise geformt. Bis vor wenigen Jahren war auch mir das koloniale Paradigma nicht so klar wie heute. Meine Weltanschauung war von bewusster weißer Vorherrschaft geprägt und ich hatte nur unbewusste Inkompetenz darüber wie ich im Dienst sein kann.

Ich erinnere mich, dass ich in meiner Jugend lieber sterben wollte, als in einer weißen Welt zu leben. Ich wusste damals nicht, warum, aber ich habe es gespürt. Im Allgemeinen spüren wir den Schmerz des Kollektivs. Er ist nicht individuell. Aber unsere Denkweise lässt uns glauben, dass es nur uns betrifft. Wir sollten jungen Menschen zuhören, wenn sie den Schmerz der Welt kaum verstehen und ihn auf ihrer Haut spüren oder ihren Körper und ihre emotionale Intelligenz nutzen, um sich als Komplizen des Konsums zu zeigen.

Wenn Du selbstkannibalisierende, süchtige, einsame oder gelangweilte Teenager zu Hause hast, weißt Du, dass das koloniale Paradigma sie im Griff hat.
Und ein Großteil der notwendigen Ausbildung besteht darin, Vertrauen und Unterscheidungen über Deine Anteile und intuitive Wege wieder aufzubauen.

Da ich absolut nicht darin geschult war, mich dem kolonialiserenden Denken zu entzeihen, gab ich 13.000 € an eine weiße Frau. Ich gab ihr mein Aufmerksamkeit, mein Zentrum, weil ich dachte, sie würde mich darin wriklich begleiten zu dekolonisieren. Ich war süchtig nach Unterstützung, in dem Glauben, dass ich ja das Problem sei, zu emotional. Aber das ist das Denken einer patriarchalen kolonialistisch und kaptialistisch geprägten Kultur. Ich dachte, es gehe darum, dass Frauen nebeneinander stehen, aber ich lag falsch. Es war ein Schwindel, ein weiterer Sog von Ressourcen. Ich lernte, dass ich dem mehr vertraute als mir selbst.

Ich änderte das, indem ich übte, meine Stimme, mein Zentrum und meine eigene Autorität zurückzufordern. Das ist Entkolonialisierungsarbeit. Hol Dir Deine Energie zurück, indem Du dich von der Gedankensoftware des kolonialistisch kapitalistischen Patriarchats trennst. Geist, Körper und Seele. Alles.

Ich bin ein weißer Mensch, der dekoloniale Schattenarbeit macht. Ich stamme aus einer Ahnenlinie von Kolonialisten. Ich und meine Vorfahren haben von 100 Jahren Kolonisierung profitiert. Und ich bin eine Schülerin der dekolonialen Bewegung. Für mich ist es eine lebenslange Arbeit, meinen weißen Kolonialgeist zu verlernen und mich von ihm zu lösen. Und ich tue es trotzdem. Dies sind meine LehrerInnen und das habe ich gelernt:

Sansara & Sadhu Wilberg — Sich dem kolonialen Denken entziehen in allen 5 Körpern

Clinton Callahan & Possibility Management — Sich dem kolonialen Denken entziehen in allen 5 Körpern

Sharon McErlane — Sich dem kolonialen Denken entziehen in allen 5 Körpern

Dra. Rocio Rosales Meza — Sich dem kolonialen Denken entziehen in allen 5 Körpern

Ich bin in eine neue Art des Seins eingeweiht. Ich möchte üben, nicht überlegen, höher oder perfekt zu sein! Es ruft mich zu meiner Integrität! Ich mache diese Arbeit, um Harmonie und Gleichgewicht wiederherzustellen.

Ich rufe Dich auf, mit mir diesen Weg der Dekolonisierung des Geistes zu gehen.

Wenn Du die Dekolonialisierungsarbeit verkörperst, ist dies der Prozess, bei dem Du nicht mehr weiß bist, sondern eine Person mit weißem Körper. Werde Du ethnisch, nicht um Dein weißes Privileg zu umgehen, sondern auch um herauszufinden, wer Dein Volk ist, was Deine Traditionen und Rituale sind, und nimm Dir Zeit, um Deine Kultur zu finden. Wenn es einen indigenen Weg gibt, der Dich ruft, lernst Du die Traditionen und Rituale kennen.

Holen Dir zurück, was Du verloren und/oder aufgegeben hast und trage diese 4 Fragen mit dir:

Wer bin ich?
Woher komme ich?
Wo stehe ich?
Was ist mein Weg?

Es wird einen Teil dieser Leere füllen. Unser Volk, Dein Volk, Deine Abstammung hatte auch heilige Rituale.

Wenn Du befreit bist, befreist Du andere, sonst wirst Du wieder kollidieren mit dem Kolonialismus.

Unsere Vorfahren konnten überleben, indem sie sich von ihrer eigenen Menschlichkeit abkoppelten. Und wir treten oft in diese Fußstapfen aber das ist nicht nachhaltig.

Du wurdest ohne Deine Zustimmung programmiert, was es verdreht macht.

Auch wenn Du als Verbündeter auftrittst, gibt es Wege, auf denen Du unbewusst unterdrückst.

All Deine emotionalen Heilungsprozesse, Therapie, Körperarbeit, Yoga-Unterricht oder Tanz bieteen Dir eine schnelle Lösung und sie halten Dich dann im kolonialen Paradigma, wenn es nicht integer, zielgerichtet und in Bezug zur Gemeinschaft steht. Die Wurzel davon sind Völkermorde, die auf dem Land stattgefunden haben, und es geht darum, das Land zu heilen, indem man es in Ihnen heilt.

Mit all den Ressourcen, die Du hast, kannst Du das Paradigma ändern. Du könntest nicht als Retter auftreten, sondern in der richtigen Beziehung und in Integrität zum Land stehen.

Wie viele Leute, die ich kenne, wurde ich dazu erzogen, mich auf die individuelle Ebene zu konzentrieren. Meine Freunde und ich sind zu starken Menschen herangewachsen, die alles allein machen können aber immer nett, ordentlich, ruhig und anpassungsfähig sind und es allen um uns herum recht machen wollen.

Meine Umgebung hat mich dazu gebracht, getrennt von meiner Familie und meiner Gemeinschaft zu leben. Zuerst in Kindertagesstätten, dann im öffentlichen Schulsystem und dann an der Universität, wo sich alles um Leistung, Erfolg und Perfektionismus, in jedem Lebensbereich drehte.

Die Kultur, in der ich aufgewachsen bin, hat mich glauben lassen, dass meine Familie der Grund dafür war, wenn ich Schwierigkeiten in einer Beziehung oder schwere Emotionen wie Depressionen hatte.

Ich war Zweifel, Hass, Beschämung und Schuldzuweisungen ausgesetzt, um meine Wut, Angst, Freude und Traurigkeit zu untergraben, um Ausbeutung zu betreiben, Ressourcen durch Traumaerfahrung zu zerstören und meine Autorität abzugeben.

Also dachte ich, all mein Schmerz, meine instinktive Wut und Angst hätten mit mir selbst zu tun. Ich bin das Problem. Niemand musste mich diagnostizieren oder mir eine psychische Erkrankung zukommen lassen. Ich habe es selbst getan.

Denn man hat mich glauben lassen, dass meine Familie und meine Gemeinschaft das Problem sind. Und ich habe das nicht hinterfragt. Ich habe es akzeptiert. Ich habe diesen Glauben nicht abgelehnt.

Aber auf diese Weise ermutigt es die Jugend nicht.

Es ist gefährlich, weil es Wunden verursacht, die auf die Familie zurückzuführen sind, anstatt auf das koloniale Paradigma. Das führt zu noch mehr Fragmentierung. Wir sind Stammeswesen. Wir wollen einander nahe sein. Fehler in Gemeinschaften und Familien und in uns selbst finden, die wir angehen können, statt im kolonial-kapitalistischen Patriarchat. Das ist schädlich. Es spaltet uns, anstatt unsere Energie in die Abschaffung des kolonial-kapitalistischen Patriarchats zu stecken! Wir sind verletzlich, wenn wir uns mit Inhalten zur psychischen Gesundheit beschäftigen, weil wir Unterstützung suchen aber stattdessen koloniale Indoktrination erhalten.

Ganzheitlich bedeutet, das Ökosystem, die Familie, die Schöpfung, das Netz des Lebens und das kolonial-kapitalistische Patriarchat anzuerkennen.

Ich war mit dem kolonial-kapitalistischen Patriarchat mit vielen Löchern in meinem energetischen Körper mitschuldig und habe mich verschworen.

Ich habe 30 Jahre gebraucht, um so daraus herauszukommen, dass ich den Drachen von außen sehen kann. Meinen eigenen kolonialistisch kapitalistisch patriarchalen Drachen, voller Schmerz, betrogen und voller existenzieller Überlebensängste. Mit ihm allein kann ich in der Realität nicht spielen.

Der koloniale Drache weiß, wie man Systemen verschworen und mit ihnen verwoben sein kann, indem er Löcher und Lücken einbrennt und Menschen tötet, die ihm zu nahe kommen. Gewalt ist es, von dem dieser Teil lebt. Gewalt gegen sich selbst ist sein Lieblingsessen. Die Menge an Gewalt, die wir heute in der Welt erleben, ist die Menge an Gewalt in uns, dem kolonialen Drachen in uns!Indem Du dich auf diese Drachen-Transformation einlässt, kann dieser Anteil Dein Verbündeter werden, anstatt in Komplizenschaft zu geraten.

Ich habe mich verpflichtet, eine Drachentöterin, vielmehr Transformatorin zu sein! Nicht, um mehr Krieg in die Welt zu bringen, sondern um meine Schwerter an meinem und dem Hals anderer Menschen zu haben, wenn nicht Wahrheit gesprochen wird.

Mein aktueller Prozess besteht darin, den Kolonialdrachen in mir zu töten, zu wandeln und zu sehen, indem ich die Eingangstüren zu seinem Kerker zuschlage. Ich habe mein inneres Wissen, meinen Weg, meine Bedürfnisse in meiner Nähe, sodass der Kerker für mich nicht mehr attraktiv ist. Ich habe die innere Struktur, in der ich überzeugt bin, dass ich mehr zu bieten habe. Ich habe die Kühnheit, arrogant genug zu sein, um mehr zu wollen als Kerkerwege.

Der Kolonialdrache lebt hauptsächlich in unseren Köpfen und hat daher den physischen, emotionalen, energetischen und auch Deinen archetypischen Körper unter deine Fittiche genommen.

UND

Er/sie ist nicht Dein Feind.

In dem Film „Damsel“ ist der Drache eine Matriarchin, die vom Patriarchat überfallen wird. Ihr Dorf und ihre Kinder werden getötet und abgeschlachtet und dann werden mit ihrem Schmerz Pakte geschlossen, um sie mit dem Patriarchat zu verbünden. Damit sie die nächsten Generationen von Frauen dem patriarchalischen System opfert.

Elodie, die Hauptfigur des Films, verbündet sich mit diesem Drachen, anstatt ihn zu töten. Sie verbrennt dann die Strukturen, die dem Leben auf der Erde entgegenstehen, anstatt sie zu bekämpfen und stellt sich neben den Drachen. Indem sie ein Team zusammenstellt und ihre eigenen patriarchalen Wege betrachtet, findet sie die Eingangstüren, um den kolonialen Zyklus zu beenden.

Das ist es, was wir genau hier und jetzt tun könnten.

Die Frage ist: Werden wir es tun?

Um an den Punkt zu gelangen, an dem Du aufhörst, dich selbst zu verbrennen, und anfängst, das kolonial-kapitalistische patriarchalische System abzubrennen, musst Du deine Fallen überwinden.

Möglichkeiten zur Dekolonisierung Deines Geistes

1.ENTZIEHEN DEINER ENERGIE

2008 entzog ich meinem energetischen Körper vom kolonialistisch kapitalistischen Patriarchat, in dem ich den des deutschen Haushalt verließ, in dem ich aufwuchs.

Nach zwei Wochen brach mein Nervensystem zusammen und ich fiel ein paar Mal in Ohnmacht, weil ich keine Matrix oder Unterscheidungen in Bezug auf Angst hatte. Ich war eher darin geschult, mit der Angst anderer umzugehen und trat als Retterin auf.

Ich machte es damals zu einer fast manischen Übung, meinen physischen Körper so viel wie möglich zu bewegen, um die Kontrolle über mein Körper-Energie- System zurückzuerlangen. Ich studierte noch aber den Rest des Tages, meist 2–4 Stunden, tanzte, joggte oder kletterte ich. Was auch immer mein Bewegungsdrang war, ich tat es.

Ich tat dies etwa 10 Jahre lang, bis ich 30 war. Dann veränderte sich etwas in mir. Ich wurde ruhiger.

Ich hatte genug geübt, um den kolonialen Drachen ins Gesicht zu sehen, indem ich mit meiner Körperlichkeit meine Mitte halten konnte und in diesen Jahren löste ich mich aus dem patriarchalen System, indem ich beschloss, bei meinem physischen und emotionalen Körper zu bleiben, anstatt mit dem Geist weiterzugehen und Ärztin zu werden. Hinweis: Arzt/Ärztin zu werden ist weder gut noch schlecht, weder richtig noch falsch. Aber für mich hätte es zu diesem Zeitpunkt meines Lebens bedeutet, mich selbst noch mehr zu verlassen und zu viel im verstand zu leben.

Ich löste mich immer mehr aus meinem inneren Patriarchat, indem ich dann mit meinem emotionalen Körper lernte und übte und ein besseres Gespür dafür bekam, was mein Wesen ist und was ich will. ich erlangte Klarheit über den Zweck meiner Seele. Dafür reiste ich. Ich reiste in den Nahen Osten! Ich verbrachte Zeit mit Menschen aus verschiedenen Ländern. Ich experimentierte mit verschiedenen Arten von Jobs, baute Spielwelten und schrieb im Grunde genommen Bücher voller Experimente, um meine Autorität zurückzugewinnen. Ich lernte, dass ich meine Privilegien nutzen muss, um auch andere zu befreien und in diese Möglichkeit und Reaktionsfähigkeit hineinzuwachsen.

Außerdem habe ich etwas über den Drachen und meine Überlebensanteile erfahren, die gerne horten, Geld haben und sich nur sicher fühlen, wenn sie genug Dinge besitzen. Ich kann spüren, dass das von meinen Vorfahren kommt. Aber Fülle ist nicht nur Geld. Es ist Deine Gemeinschaft, Deine Familie und Deine Gesundheit. Bist Dugesund, damit Du Deinen Teil beitragen kannst? Und Du kannst Deinen Anteil ganz einfach mit dem tun, was Du hast. Gib Geld zurück und entziehe Dich dem Besitzdenken. Wir müssen wissen, wann genug, genug ist. Gib es den Wasserschützern und den Wächtern der Erde.

2. WENN DU BEFREIT BIST, BEFREIE AUCH ANDERE

Wenn DU befreit bist oder dich selbst befreit hast, befreie auch andere, sonst machst Du immer noch das Gleiche wie vorher.

Deine Autorität, Stimme und Energie zurückzugewinnen, ist eine Ermächtigungsübung. Wenn Du eine Marionette bist, die an verschiedenen Fäden hängt, zieh Dich aus der Schale und lassen die Hülle zurück. Wie eine Schlange, die ihre Haut verliert, fällt die Schale einfach ab, weil Du von innen nach außen durchgewachsen bist.

Das ist Drachentraining. Drachen verlieren ihre Haut. Sie werden aus Eiern geboren und können ihre Nägel und Dornen je nach Übung verschieben. Lerne, die Energie und Informationen zu spüren und zu nutzen.

3. DEINEN GEIST ZURÜCKRUFEN

Das kolonialistisch-kapitalistische Patriarchat lebt von Angst. Wenn genügend Menschen unbewusst Angst haben, entsteht eine energetische Kuppel und/oder es entsteht genug Druck, um unbewusst mit dieser Energie konfrontiert zu werden. Ein möglicher Weg, den Deine Seele wählen könnte, ist, den Körper zu verlassen und sich von der Oberseite Deines Kopfes abzulösen. Auf diese Weise verlässt Du die spirituelle Welt.

Du kannst Deine Geist jederzeit zurückrufen.

Deinen Geist zurückzurufen bedeutet, dass dein Wesen versucht, Dinge zu verstehen und zu hören, die in einem anderen Ton oder einer anderen Stimme als bei den anderen Kommunikationsmitteln sind. Aus dieser Energie können riesige Mengen an Informationen gewonnen werden. Dein Wesen dehnt sich ständig aus und sucht und verlangt nach Ausdehnung. Hast Du jemals gespürt, wie Dein Archetyp vibriert, Deinen physischen Körper erzittern lässt und den energetischen Körper weit öffnet? Das ist der Moment, in dem dein Wesen wirklich aufblüht und du etwas Größerem dienst als dir selbst.

2021 habe ich das Experiment gemacht, das Patriarchat hinter mir zu lassen (ich muss noch einmal sagen, es war mein zweiter Versuch), indem ich weder einen Pass noch ein soziales System hatte, dem ich angehörte. Die Angst, die von innen kam, war so groß, dass ich gegen diesen Druck ankämpfen wollte, dass ich starb. Ich starb. Ich saß im Wald auf einer Bank. Ich war so erschöpft von diesem Druck. Als ich den Hügel zu einer Bank hinaufging war mein Geist so bösartig und schwer. Ich dachte wie der schnellste Zug der Welt. Mein Körper wusste, dass ich mich erden musste. Also hat mein Körper das für mich getan. In diesem Moment verließ ich meinen Körper für eine kurze Minute vollständig außerhalb meines Kopfes und dann schoss mein Geist eine Sekunde später direkt wieder in mich hinein. Es war nicht Zeit zu gehen. Ich rief meinen Geist unbewusst zurück. Danach rannte ich den Hügel hinunter und wusste, wie ich dieses Werkzeug jetzt bewusst einsetzen konnte.

4. KAVITIERE DEN RAUM MIT DEINEM KULTURKONTEXT UND DEINEN „VERHALTENSREGELN“

Eine Möglichkeit, nach dem Verlassen des ‘Club(t)s’ ist es, Scham, Schuldzuweisungen, Schuldgefühle oder äußere Ängste wieder unbewusst aufzuladen. Diese lässt Du entweder zu oder sie kommen auf Dich zu. Du brauchst dafür Dein Schwert der Klarheit und Schwertübungen sowie den Rage Club, um Deine Kultur von anderen Kulturen zu unterscheiden und in Deiner zu bleiben.

Wenn in Dir so viel Empörung steckt, weil es im kolonialen Paradigma keinen Bezug zu dem gibt, was Du tun möchtest, besteht die erste Standardeinstellung darin, diese Energie und Informationen in Bezug auf andere Menschen in Drama oder Abwehrhaltung zu lenken. Denn mit dieser Menge an Energie, mit dieser Empörung zu sein, fühlt sich zunächst beängstigend an und Du könntest zu dem zurückkehren, was Du kennst. Auch Deine Seele weiß vielleicht, wie viel Zeit vergeht. Es kann sein, dass die Angst Dich dann überwältigt. In diesem Fall musst Du Dein Schwert in die Erde stämmen, um Stellung zu beziehen und um Deinen Kompass der Realität nicht zu verlieren sowie bewusst zu sprechen und die Energie nicht in unbewachtes Chaos abgleiten zu lassen. Es geht darum, das Chaos mit Deinem Schwert der Klarheit zu navigieren.

Die Wut von „Ich möchte, dass das existiert“ ist Dein Kompass.

Respektiere Deine eigene Kultur und Deine eigene Welt genauso wie andere Spielwelten und Kulturen. Dies eröffnet die Vision vieler Nanonationen, von denen jede auf einen Kontext und eine bestimmte Art der Transformation und Heilung ausgerichtet ist.

5. SPRICh SIE MIT DEINEN DEKOLONIALEN VORFAHREN UND LERNE DU ‘BOOGIE BUSTEST’

Sei in Mutter Erde verwurzelt. Ruf Dein alten dekolonialen Vorfahren an. Ruf die höchsten Visionen an und unterscheide diese von Fantasiewelten. Errichte einen Ort mit einer weißen Kerze und stelle Mutter Erde eine Gabe wie Wein oder Blumen bereit, um anzukommen.

6. RADIKALE BEZIEHUNGEN UND RICHTIGE BEZIEHUNGEN

Im Kolonialismus verliert man die Integrität der Beziehungen. Es ist eine Spielwelt, in der es darum geht, Ressourcen und Geld aus dem Planeten und den Lebewesen herauszuholen. Es ist ein Überlebenskrieg, der nicht einmal in Beziehung steht. Er ist transaktional. Menschen überleben und werden dann müde vom Überleben. Sie sind ausgebrannt. Sie sind kolonialisiert. Menschen rasten aus, wenn es kein Problem gibt, und bleiben daher in diesem Kreislauf.

Beziehungen sind ein fortlaufender Schöpfungsraum und ein Geben und Nehmen im Fluss. Gib der Mutter Erde etwas zurück. Gib den Menschen etwas zurück. Gib dem Land etwas zurück. Lebe in einem Kreislauf, damit …

7. GEHE MIT DEINEN WORTEN, TATEN UND DEINER ENERGIE ABSICHTVOLL UM

8. VERLASSE DEINE GEBURTSKULTUR AN EINEM ZEITPUNKT DEINES LEBENS

9. WACHSE IN JEDEM BEREICH

Die moderne Kultur ist geschäftig. Geschäftig sein steht im Kampf mit Deinem immateriellen Wert und mit den Dingen, die Du zu bieten hast.

„Geschäfte schaffen Profit, aber Wachstum schafft Lebendigkeit und die Mutter/das Universum/Ecco antwortet.“

“Ersetze Dich so schnell wie möglich, damit mehr Menschen den Wert bieten können, den Sie bieten können. Suche nach jemandem, der sich bereits darauf vorbereitet, dies zu erschaffen. Die Bewusstseinsrate fordert Dich auf, schnell zur nächsten Seitentür zu gehen. Wachstum ist ein Ort, um radikale Beziehungen zu anderen Menschen aufzubauen und sie zu stärken. Radikale Beziehungen und richtige Beziehungen. Sie sind der Aufbau von Spielwelten. Der Aufbau von Spielwelten ist wie Wasser, manchmal ist es wie Tropfen, manchmal ein Tsunami. — Clinton Callahan

Und Du brauchst ein Team. Gaia ist bei der Entkolonialisierung Teil Deines Teams und was Gaia sagt, wirst Du brauchen, nachdem Du das kolonisierte Denken in Dir verbrannt hast. Und die inneren Strukturen, um ein neues Paradigma zu kreieren, entstehen in meinem Fall zum Beispiel wenn ich viel am Wasser bin!

Baue verschiedene Spielwelten auf und sprich mit anderen darüber. Lass mehrere Wahrheiten nebeneinander stehen und beziehe Dich darauf. Andernfalls kann ein Kontextkrieg entstehen und das ist wieder Patriarchat.

Sich mit anderen Menschen zu treffen, um Dinge herauszufinden: das ist ein Sieg!

10. ERSCHAFFE, WÄHREND DEINE RESSOURCEN DURCH DICH DURCHKOMMEN

„Wenn eine echte Notwendigkeit in Dir steckt, wird die Notwendigkeit Deine Quelle direkt durch Dich hindurchziehen. Sie wird von Deinem Rücken her angetrieben. Du wirst von hinten beleuchtet. Bei der Erleuchtung dreht sich alles um Dich, aber wenn Du dich umdrehst, trifft das Licht Deinen Rücken und kommt durch Dich hindurch und DU breitest Deine Flügel aus. Das Herz wird groß. Verpflichtest Du dich die vor Dir liegende Aufgabe anzunehmen und die Ressourcen werden sich zeigen. Wenn Du über diese Quelle meditierst, macht sie das nur wütend, also LOS!“ — Clinton Callahan

11. DRUCK- UND ZUSAMMENBRUCHFORSCHUNG

Wenn Du sich selbst unter Druck setzt, folgst Du vielleicht dem Weg eines anderen. Und auch wenn Du dich selbst unter Druck setzt, geht es ums Überleben. Es ist wie die Beziehungen in der Schule. Also erforsche Teile und Zwänge in Dir.

12. ERKLÄRE DEIN SCHICKSAL

Zeige anderen Menschen, mit denen Du gemeinsame Sache im kolonialen Denken gemacht hast, andere Wege. Erscheine als Student/in. Mach es zu einer Bewegung, nicht zu einer Marke. Geb mir Feedback zu dem, was Du hier liest und wo ich noch immer mit dem kolonialen Denken kollidiere. Gib anderen Feedback und Coaching, wenn Du siehst, dass Du Deine Integrität verlierst. Lass auf diese Weise den Perfektionismus los. Teilen ist der Weg, sich vom kolonialen Paradigma zu lösen. Erscheine ehrlich und betone diejenigen, von denen Du gelernt hast. Und dann rufe mehr Menschen dazu.

13. ERKENNE DEIN WEISSES PRIVILEG, POSITIONIERE DICH ALS WEISSE PERSON, LÖSE DICH VON DER WEISSEN IDENTITÄT AB

Du kannst diese Prozesse nicht umgehen und den Weg nicht abkürzen. Der Weg ist der Weg. — Anne-Chloé Destremau

Aber du weißt jetzt, worauf du bei dir achten kannst!

Selbstliebe ist ein Konzept oder sogar ein Konstrukt, solange sie nicht durch Bedeutung gelebt wird. Du kommst dorthin, indem du den Kolonialdrachen erkennst! Dann öffnen sich Türen, durch die du die Herzen anderer in deinem Erblühen sehen kannst.

Hallo, mein Name ist Christine, ich bin eine Drachentöterin!

Ich lade zu Demut, Integrität, Mitgefühl und Mut ein!

Zu Ehren meiner Lehrer/innen und Trainer/innen!

Lasst uns von räuberischen Energien ablassen! Und einen Weg zurück zu Empathie und Nächstenliebe finden.

Habigarr!

“Your pre colonial ancestors prayed for you. I say it again: Your precolonial ancestors prayed for you! What an honor! What a deep honor! It is no coincidence that we are here today. Receive that with your heart. Let it be opened up!“ Dra. Rocio Rosales Meza

In this article my purpose is to put a light on the colonial capitalist patriarchy thoughtware and offer practices to decolonize the mind. As I am writing this I am a student of the same practice, writing from my experiments. I will share some of them and the gold I found through them and probably will find while writing this and while I am slaying the colonial dragon inside of me.

The colonial dragon

The colonial dragon has three main heads:

The first head:

The Education System.

It is a colonial indoctrination system. It teaches us to trust in external authority not in the inner knowing or intuition. It is not only the content but the process of schooling e.g. to be passive, to just receive, to have to earn your play or to have to perform while you learn the colonial ways of how to exploit, indoctrinate and use power over instead of power with.

The second head:

Psychology.

Modern Psychology’s main purpose is to keep us numb and complicit. The European Colonial Psychology Field’s main purpose is to integrate you back into the culture that indoctrinated you in the first place. By using medicine and tools that have the power of long lasting transformation in them many people awaken and feel something but then this aliveness is suppressed, disowned and denied lacking further possibilities to continue. Therapy (Listening, Empathy, Holding space) in and of itself are indigenous practices. And these practices are necessary and valuable. However, modern medicine also makes you believe that you are the problem, your family or tribe are the problem and not setting the pain in context. For the large majority of people diagnosis becomes a label and almost a death sentence. Your mental health becomes a scale that determines how much you can function in a colonial way (Extraction, Power over, Supremacy) rather than leading you to your own authority as first priority.

The third head:

Shame, Guilt & Blame Cult(ure)

Cults capitalize on the separation trauma that already exists in modern culture. Because everyone is against each other anyway people rat each other out to the (cult) leader. This is how the colonial paradigm survives.

There are six steps how the Shame, Guilt & Blame Cult(ure) ist set up:

1. Lay the foundation by telling people what they want to hear and by knowing how to push people’s buttons

2. Grow your following

3. Manipulate their thinking

4. Promise them to regain their own authority but they just go from space to space

5. Control your image

6. Become immortal

If you want to go into detail about this and gain an outside perspective, I recommend you watch the netflix series. THE CULT LEADER. It is literally explained by the series how “famous” cult leaders set up a colonial paradigm.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for doing this work.

The traps of the Colonial Mind

Now I want to name the traps of the colonial capitalist patriarchal thoughtware.

These traps are a list of the ways the Colonial Mind shows up. While reading this list I have a proposal: Don`t read through it like you would do with any list. Stand up, plant your feet into the earth. Put one hand on your heart and the other hand on your physical center, 3 fingers below your belly button. Have a beep book next to you and write down what comes up while you read through the points. In between reading shake your pelvis lying down or standing up, keeping the knees bent.

Continue:

• Superiority (seeing things & people like something to improve)
• Extraction (extracting from your energy instead of trust what have been offered, it is taking for the own agenda)
• Entitlement (demanding more than what is being offered; if you feel you have received more give more)
• Fragmentation (only allowing certain parts of yourself to be seen, only the mind not the spirit, being disconnected from Mother Earth)
• Urgency (interacting with a sense of becoming forceful)
• Transactional Relationships vs. being in service (Ask yourself: If I really received that offer how can I be of service to the moment I have been called into?)
• Perfectionism (as a tool to get you to comply; it’s how you stay a colonial agent)
• White Privilege
• Individualism or Hyper Individualism
• Progress at all costs…human cost…exploitation of the body…land cost…for colonial progress for retreat centers of people who have been exploited before
• White saviorism & Special Snowflake Syndrome (there is the belief in some cultures, religions etc. that God’s divine assignment is to colonize countries. That produces a ME culture, where the belief arose: I am the chosen one and I have something special to offer where it is all of us needed!And this dynamic is even fueled by modern technology where algorithms push this thoughtware on Apps)
• Western medicine (It is not the only way. It is a real way but not the only one. Expand your vision.)
• Dehumanization of People
• Intellectualization
• Compartmentalizing
• Hoarding
• Defensiveness
• Comfort/Security
• Binary Thinking
• Performing
• Numbness
• Showing up as the Authority
• Money vs. Relationship
• Linear thinking and Rigidity (This is rooted in patriarchy. Being in constant toxic masculine energy while feminine ways of being in flow and alignment with Mother Earth are suppressed.She is not always producing. There is time for rest.)
• Pressure & Collapse Dynamics
• Self Doubt
• Complaining
• Showing up as a Teacher
• Disconnection from your birth land by Force
• Not naming your teachers/spaceholders you learned from

You can train yourself in noticing, divest from and transform these traps. I found memetic engineering, boogie busting and indigenous practices like initiations as helpful. Here are some bridge builders to contact:

Possibility Managers on Strikingly

Some parts of my Complicity and Collusion with the Colonial Paradigm and what Empowered me to Divest

In this picture you see a girl covered in a net of phrases that are expectations or threats from modern culture. They are very close to her skin. Unfortunately I don`t know the name of the girl who drew it but I was in awe of that picture.

I had a similar one when I was young. I had an image of me sitting in a golden bird cage naked.

I chose this picture because it describes the way how the colonial paradigm can cover you like a close blanket.

When it comes to complicity and collusion you have to understand that it happens in layers. From 0 to 7 years old your body intelligence builds, from 7 to 14 years old your emotional intelligence and from 14 to 21 years old your real thinking, normally deep thinking is trained.

By the time you are at that age, your upbringing, what is offered to you and your ancestral ways, formed you. Until the last years I had no clarity of the colonial paradigm in such deep ways as I have now. My world view was shaped by conscious white supremacy and yet I had unconscious incompetence of how I can be of service.

I remember when I was younger, I wanted to die rather than live in the white world. I didn‘t know why back then but I felt it. In general we feel the pain of the collective. It is not individual. But our thoughtware makes us believe it is just us. We should listen to young people when they scarcely understand the world’s pain and mark their skin with it or use their body and emotional intelligence to show up complicit in consumerism.

If you have self cannibalizing, addicted, lonely or bored teenagers at home you know the colonial paradigm has a grip on them.

And a lot of the training necessary is to rebuild trust, distinctions about your parts and rebuilding intuitive ways.

Being desperately untrained in divesting, I gave away 13000 € to a white woman. I gave her my center because I thought she would decolonize me. I got hooked. I heard it is about women standing next to each other, I was wrong. It was a scam, another extract. I learned that I trusted that more than myself.

I changed that by practicing reclaiming my voice, my center and my own authority. This is decolonizing work. Take your energy back, divesting from the colonial capitalist patriarchy thoughtware. Mind, Body and Soul. All of them.

I am a white person doing decolonial shadow work. I come from a lineage of colonizers. I and my ancestors have benefited from 100s of years of colonization. And I am a student of the decolonial movement. This is life-long work for me to unlearn and divest from my white colonial mind. And i do it anyway. These are my teachers and this is what I have learned:

Sansara & Sadhu Wilberg — Divesting in all 5 Bodies

Clinton Callahan & Possibility Management— Divesting in all 5 Bodies

Sharon McErlane — Divesting in all 5 Bodies

Dra. Rocio Rosales Meza — Divesting in all 5 Bodies

I am initiated in a new way of being. I want to practice not being superior, higher or perfect! It is calling me to my integrity! I am doing this work to restore harmony and balance.

I call you in to walk with me this path of decolonizing the mind too.

If you are embodying the decolonial work this is the process that you are no longer white but a white bodied person. Get ethnic, not to bypass your white privilege but also to find out who your people are, what are your traditions and rituals and take your time by finding your culture. If there is an indigenous way that is calling you learn about the traditions and rituals.

Reclaim what you lost and/or gave up and taking that back and by taking that back carry these 4 questions with you:

1. Who am I?
2. Where do I come from?
3. Where do I stand?
4. What is my path?

It will fill some of that void. Our people, ypur people, your lineage had sacred rituals too.

When you are liberated, liberate others, otherwise you will still collude.

By disconnecting themselves from their own humanity our ancestors could survive. And we often follow in that footstep but this is not sustainable.

You have been programmed without your consent which makes it twisted.

Even if you show up as an ally there are ways you are unconsciously suppressing.

All of your emotional healing processes, therapy, body work, yoga teachings, dance offer you a quick fix and keep you in the colonial paradigm, if it is not in integrity, purposeful and by relating to community. The root are genocides that happened on the land and it is about land healing by healing it in you.

With all the resources that you have you can change the paradigm. You can show up not as a savior but in right relationship and in integrity to the land.

As many people I know I was raised to focus on the individual level. My friends and I grew up to be strong, capable of doing everything alone but always nice, tidy, quiet, adaptive and to please everyone around us.

My surroundings indoctrinated me to live separate from my family and my community. First to live in KITAs and then public school system and then university where everything was about achievement, success and perfectionism in every area of life.

The culture I grew up in made me believe that when I encountered difficulties in a relationship or heavy emotions like depression that my family is the reason.

I was exposed to doubt, hatred, shaming and blaming as a fuel to undermine my anger, fear, joy and sadness for the purpose of playing exploitation, killing resources through trauma exposure and giving my authority away.

So I thought also all my pain, my visceral anger and fear is about me. I am the problem. No one needed to diagnose me or mental health me. I did it myself.

Because what I was made to believe was that my family and my community is the problem. And I didn´t question it. I took it. I didn`t say no to that believe.

But this way, it is not encouraging the youth.
It is dangerous because it puts wounds as a result of the family instead of the colonial paradigm. This creates more fragmentation. We are tribal beings. We want to be close to each other. Find fault in communities & family and in ourselves instead of the colonial capitalist patriarchy. It is harmful. It divides us instead of directing our energy in dismantling the colonial capitalist patriarchy! We are vulnerable when we engage in mental health content because we are seeking support but instead we are receiving colonial indoctrination.
Holistic means acknowledging the ecosystem, the family, creation, web of life and the colonial capitalist patriarchy.

I was complicit and colluded with many holes in my energetic body by the colonial capitalist patriarchy.

It took me 30 years to get out of that in a way that I can see the dragon from outside, my own colonial capitalist patriarchal dragon, my Gremlin, in pain betrayed and full of survival existential fears. With him alone I can not play in reality.

The colonial dragon knows how to collude and be complicit to systems, burning holes and gaps and slaying people not coming close to you. Violence is something this part thrives on, violence against myself was his favorite food with me. The amount of violence we experience today in the world is the amount of violence in us, the colonial dragon in us! The colonial dragon in most people. By engaging in Gremlin Transformation this part can be your ally instead of falling into complicity.

I committed myself to be a dragon slayer! Not to put more war in the world but to have my swords on my and other peoples neck.

My current process is to slay the colonial dragon in me by slamming the entrance doors to its dungeon. Having my inner knowing, my path, my necessities close to me, so the dungeon is not attractive to me anymore. Having the inner structure that I am certain that I have more to offer. Having the audacity to be arrogant enough to want more than dungeon ways.

The colonial dragon mostly lives in our minds and therefore colluded the physical, emotional, energetical and also your archetypal body by doing so.

AND

He/she is not your enemy.

In the movie “Damsel” the dragon is a matriarch being invaded by patriarchy, her village and children being killed, slaughtered and then made deals with her pain to collude her to patriarchy. To make her sacrifice the next generations of women to the patriarchal system.

Elodie, the main character of the movie, becomes an ally with that dragon instead of killing her. She then burns the structures that are against life on earth instead of fighting them and sstsnding next to the dragon. By setting up a team and looking at her own patriarchal ways she finds the entrance doors to end the colonial cycle.

This is what we could do right here, right now.

The question is: Will we?

To get to the point where you stop burning yourself and start burning the colonial capitalist patriarchal system off of you is when you slay through the traps.

Possibilities to Decolonize your Mind

1. DIVESTING YOUR ENERGY

In 2008 I divested my energetic body from the colonial capitalist patriarchy of the German household I grew up in.

After two weeks my nervous system collapsed and I fainted a couple of times because I had no matrix or distinction about fear. I was rather trained in managing the fear of others and showed up as a rescuer.

I made it an almost manic practice then to move my physical body as much as I could to get the authority of my body-energetic system back. I was still studying but the rest of the day, mostly 2–4 hours, I danced, jogged or climbed. Whatever my impulse was to move I did it.

I did this for about 10 years until I was 30. Then something shifted in me. I got calmer.

I had practiced enough to slay the dragon with my physicality being able to hold my center and in those years I divested out of the patriarchal system by deciding to stay with my physical and emotional body instead of going further with the mind and becoming a doctor. Note: To become a doctor is neither good or bad, nor right or wrong. But for me at that point of my life it would have meant to leave myself even more.

I extracted myself more and more out of my inner patriarchy by then learning and practicing with my emotional body and getting more sense of what my Being is and wants and having clarity of my soul’s purpose. For that I traveled. I traveled to the Middle East! I spent time together with people from different countries. I experimented doing different kinds of jobs, building gameworlds and basically writing books full of experiments to get my authority back. I learned that I need to use my privileges to liberate others too and growing into that possibility and response(ability).

Also I got to know about Gremlin and my survival parts that like to hoard, to have money and only feels secure when it has enough things. I can feel how this comes from my ancestors. But abundance is not just money. It is your community, your family and your health. Are you healthy so you can do your part? And you can easily do your part with what you have. Giving back money and divesting from it. We need to know when enough is enough. Giving to the water protectors and earth keepers.

2. WHEN YOU ARE LIBERATED, LIBERATE OTHERS TOO

When you are liberated or liberated yourself, liberate others too otherwise you are still colluding.

Getting your authority, voice and energy back is a divesting practice. If you are a marionette hanging on various strings attached to you, extract yourself out of the shell and leave it behind. Like a snake losing its skin, it just falls off because you grew from the inside out.

This is what dragon practice is. Dragons lose their skin. They are born out of eggs and they can shift their nails and thorns according to their practice. Learn how to feel and make use of the energy and information.

3. CALLING BACK YOUR SPIRIT

What the colonial capitalist patriarchy thrives on is fear. If enough people are in unconscious fear it creates an energetic dome and/or enough pressure to get unconsciously confronted with that energy. A possible way your soul could choose is to leave the body, dissociating, out of the top of your head. This is how you are leaving the spiritual world.

You can call your spirit back anytime you want.

Calling back your spirit means the being seeks to understand and hear things that are in a different tone or voice to the other ways of communicating. Vast swaths of information can be harvested from that energy. Your Being is ever expanding and seeks, demands expansion. Have you ever felt your archetypal vibrating, making your physical body trembling, the energetic body wide open. That’s the moment when your Being really thrives and you serve something bigger than yourself.

In 2021 I made the experiment to leave patriarchy behind (again I must say, it was my 2nd attempt) by having no passport or social system I belong to. The level of fear coming from inside was so big wanting to go against that pressure that I died. I died. I was sitting in the woods on a bench. I was so exhausted from that pressure, walking up the hill to that bench, my mind viciously heavy and thinking like the fastest train on earth. My body knew that I needed to ground myself. So my body did that for me.At that meoment I left my body outside my head for a short minute completely and then my spirit shot right back into me in a second after. It was not time to leave. I unconsciously called my spirit back. After that I ran down the hill and I knew how I could use this tool now consciously.

4. CAVITATE SPACE WITH YOUR CULTURE CONTEXT AND “RULES OF ENGAGEMENT”

A way to be colluded after you left the clu(t)b is by adding shame, blame, guilt or external fears that you either let in or come towards you. You need your swords for that and sword practice as well as Rage Club to distinguish your culture from other cultures and stay in yours.

If there is so much outrage in you because there is no reference in the colonial paradigm for what you want to do, the first default is to direct this energy and information into relating and towards other people in drama or defensiveness. Because being with that amount of energy at first, with that outrage feels scary and you might go to what you know. Also your soul maybe knows how much time is flying by. It might be that then the fear brings you in the overwhelm. In that case you need to put your sword down to earth to take a stand for your outrage to not lose your compass of reality and to speak consciously, to not let the energy go into unguarded chaos. It is navigating the chaos with your sword of clarity.

The rage of I want this to exist is your compass.

Respect your own culture, your own world as much as other gameworlds and cultures. This opens the vision of many nanonations, each centered on one context and certain kind of transformation and healing.

5. SPEAKING WITH YOUR DECOLONIAL ANCESTORS AND LEARN HOW TO BOOGIE BUST

Be rooted in the mother. Calling your ancient decolonial ancestors. Calling in the highest visions and discerning from fantasy worlds either in how spirits work or what could have been. Have a white candle with you, put an offering like wine or flowers for mother earth next to it and rest not to avoid but to rest.

6. RADICAL RELATING AND RIGHT RELATIONSHIP

In colonialism you lose integrity in relating. It is a gameworld where the currency is getting resources and money out of the planet and the beings. It is a survival war which is not even related. It is transactional. People survive and then get tired from surviving. You’ re not in burn out. You are colonized. People freak out if there is no problem and so they stay in that cycle.

Relating is an ongoing creation space and it is a give and take by flow. Give back to the mother. Give back to the people. Give back to the land. Live in a cyclic way so that...

7. BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR WORDS, ACTIONS & ENERGY

8. LEAVE YOUR BIRTH CULTURE AT ONE POINT OF YOUR LIFE

9. GROW IN ANY AREA

Business Structure is busy. Busi(y)ness is at war with your non-material value, with the things you have to offer.

“Business creates profit but growness creates aliveness and the mother/universe/ecco answers.”

Replace yourself as soon as possible so more people can offer the value that you can offer. Look for who is already training him/herself up to create this. The rate of consciousness is asking you to go to the sideways door quickly. Growness is a place to radically relate and empower other people. Radical Relating and right relationship is Gameworld Building. Gameworld Building is like Water, sometimes it is like drops, sometimes a tsunami. — Clinton Callahan

And you need a team. Gaia, in Decolonizing, is part of your team and what Gaia says she will need after you burn off the colonized thinking in you. And the structures and layers to gain a new paradigm in my case for exoample is water!

Build different gameworlds and talk to each other. Let multiple truths be there and relate. Otherwise context war can rise and this is patriarchy again.

To meet with other people to figure stuff out: this is victory!

10. CREATE WHILE YOUR SOURCES COME THROUGH YOU, THROUGH YOUR ACTIONS

“When there is real necessity in you, the necessity will draw your source right through you. You will be fueld from your back. You are backlighted.Enlightenment is all about you but if you turn around the light hits your back and comes through you and you spread your wings. The heart will be big. Commit to the job in front of you and the source will show up. When you meditate on your source it just pisses it off so GO!”- Clinton Callahan

11. PRESSURE AND COLLAPSE RESEARCH

If you pressure yourself well maybe you are following somebody else’s path. And also when you pressure yourself it is survival. It is not relating like it happens in schools. So go on that research of parts and pressures in you.

12. CLAIM YOUR DESTINY

Show the ways to other people you have colluded with. Show up as a student, make it about the movement not about you. Give me feedback about what you read here and where I still collude. Give feedback and coaching to others if you see them leaving their integrity. This is the way you are letting go of perfectionism. To share is the way to decenter yourself from the colonial paradigm. Show up truthfully and amplify those you have learned from and then you call in more people.

13. SEE YOUR WHITE PRIVILEGE, POSITION YOURSELF AS A WHITE PERSON, DIVEST FROM THE WHITE IDENTITY

You can not go around these processes and you can not shorten the path. The path is the path. — Anne-Chloé Destremau

However, you know now what to look out for in you!

Self-Love is a concept or even construct as long as it is not lived through meaning. You are getting there by slaying the colonial dragon! Then there are doors being opened where you can see the hearts of others blossoming in yours.

Hello, my name is Christine, I am a dragon slayer!

I am inviting Humilty, Integrity, Compassion & Courage!

In honor of my teachers & trainers!

Let us divest from predatory energies! And find a way back to empathy and charity.

Habigarr!

The traps of colonial capitalist patriarchy thoughtware was originally published in NEXT CULTURE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This is Bisan Owda from Palestine.

Bisan Owda (Arabic: بيسان عودة; born 1997 or 1998) is a palestinian journalist, activist, filmmaker and a dreamer, as she says. She is documenting her experiences during the “Israel–Hamas conflict” in the Gaza Strip through Social Media.

I didn`t know Bisan nine months ago. In fact I didn`t know much about anything happening in the Middle East before Bisan. Through reading, informing and transforming myself the past years about the capitalist colonial patriarchy and the ways of land theft, famine, murdering and killing children, mothers and fathers, our MOTHER, I grew up.

I am following Bisan and other palestinian people on Instagram. I want to connect and support wherever I can. I also speak to my Israeli friends who are living in Germany. And I don`t know enough because it is happening for so long now.

What I sense, feel and know about is that the “Israeli- Hamas conflict” is not a war. It is an ongoing ecocide influenced by US and Europe. She and so many people in Gaza are currently facing atrocities, not only losing their village, their roots and GAIAs treasures in the land called Palestine but also being undignified to their core, being dehumanized and soul shattered. This year, 2024, Bisan won a Peabody Award in the News category for her Al Jazeera Media Network show, “It’s Bisan from Gaza and I’m Still Alive.”

Yes she is still alive! She is facing atrocities and she is more alive than many people I see in my surrounding. How can that be you might ask?

It is because she can feel and she has something to say!

Bisan grew up in Beit Hanoun. She has worked with the United Nations on gender equality as a member of UN Women’s Youth Gender Innovation Agora Forum. She has also worked with the European Union on climate change, and is an EU Goodwill Ambassador. Bisan has produced a show, Hakawatia, which is aired by Roya TV. She also presented educational Palestinian Arabic videos for the YouTube channel Easy Languages and works for the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA).

“Her Being is pure love, power and presence.” — Tamara Montenegro

During a May 2021 escalation in the Israeli–Palestinian conflict, Bisan shared videos on Instagram with the goal of drawing international attention to conditions in Gaza, which are fueled by the US and European Countries.

What the people of Gaza are showing us is resilience either because they have to, need to or want to. Groundedness is not seperate from your roots. The latter are important to become grounded in an ever changing world. The purpose of displacing people, robbing their cultural wisdom, shaming and undermining it, is fed by thousands of years of colonial capitalist patriarchy.

Living in Morocco for two years and traveling to Tunesia and Egypt, I had a grasp of what colonialism looked like in North Africa and the Middle East and what responsibilities Europeans have about that. Little did I know then.

My first response was to fall into shame and guilt about it. Everyone who has a heart goes there first. However, this only colludes to the colonial paradigm. It is the only respons(e)ability white people can comprehend because we didn´t learn how to feel, to stay connected to GAIA and live with the land!

It is not ok that the emotional body is untrained in that way, if you want to be connected to Mother Earth. You need all your feelings unmixed to be able to create something different. You need distinctions about all your bodies. You need to unlearn the colonial capitalist patriarchy! Before that every healing, transforming and therapy is contexted in patriarchy and will collude your growing up process.

So what to do next?

Start leaving patriarchy!

Start here

On these websites you find portals & doorways to decolonize. There are a bunch of people who even are crazy enough to live together and meet up in teams to do that.

And they practice, even as a lifelong practice. It is a practice containing distinctions indigenous people know about and we should have listened.

I didn`t know enough yet about the situation in Palestine. But I know now and I am writing this short article here to remind you about the colonial paradigm living in you and your responsibility, especially as a white person to get your voice, authority and inner wisdom back from the colonial capitalist patriarchy. It is outdated, like a zombie half-dead it still hangs around. Let it burn! Let it fall off of you. I did it too and I am alive!

Let Bisan show you too! The seeds of archiarchy in you, can not be killed!

After the Israel Defense Forces told Gaza residents to evacuate in October 2023, Bisan and her parents relocated from Beit Hanoun to Al-Shifa Hospital. Her family’s home and her office in Rimal were both bombed. All of her filming equipment was destroyed. From Al-Shifa Hospital, Bisan documented everyday life on social media. She witnessed the Al-Shifa ambulance airstrike on the 3rd of November. She was displaced from Al-Shifa Hospital after it was sieged in mid-november. By May 2024, Bisan had accumulated 4.1 million followers on Instagram.

Bisan is a guardian, an earth guardian.

If she wouldn`t speak up, using her rage, sadness, fear and joy, her range on Social Media, her community, who will.

No one can do it for you but also no one can stop you from it!

She is a brave young woman. She has to be in these conditions and she continues to report on the conditions of this conflict as she experiences them and let her dignity lead her to the gap of not knowing what to do but the clarity that wars must end.

Bisan shows us what it means to be a woman of earth. She is connected to the land, speaking up with arrogance, taking no bullshit form anyone. She knows her roots and worth and despite all the suffering doesn`t let her dignity to be touched.

Thank you Bisan Owda!

Bisan Owda (@wizard_bisan1) • Instagram-Fotos und -Videos

Before you read this article I invite you to an experiement: to shake and rattle while raising your anger consciously to this song:

Stand in the room, center, ground and bubble yourself.

And than bounce up and down through slightly bending your knees, let the shoulders, jaw and bud go and the only thing you tense up while you shake are your hands to fists. And then don`t stop the shaking until the song is over. If sounds come up, growl, speak & shout. Whatever is necessary to do to let your anger come up do it but don`t allow your physical body to go into other movements than shaking.

If I do that experiment especially with other women in the space it might happen that you land in a place that is so certain with each other that it is beyond words.

I am at a place right now where I am beyond words.

In Gaza 100 children die each day right now.

To quote Tarek Bae one of the few journalists naming how it is:

These are 200 crying children eyes each day. One Generation in school each day.

Think about this in for a minute. Digest it. Feel that pain.

And now tell me you are not angry?!

With facing yet another war on this planet because unfortunately patriarchy has to justify itself by making profit out of live, it is pretty clear that humanity is failing.

I am also pretty clear about my own bullshit, my own inner wars, my own emotional fears & justifications AND how I thought patriarchy and archiarchy are close.

I allowed many things in my life to happen. I allowed to be silenced, to be shouted at, to be touched when I don`t want to be touched. I allowed and tolerated the social abuse in my life but this in 2023 unfortunately I allowed also my dignity to be touched!

I allowed my box to take over. I didn`t see the gap between me and my box anymore. I made myself believe that it works to have one foot in patriarchy and one in archiarchy. Justifications happened that I never thought I could tell myself just so nothing would change.

And this is what I hear from so many women as well.

This is over!

The killing, the wars! It is over!

We should be loud! I am loud!

Every war concerns you!

Es beTRIFFT uns alle!

The only gold of this period is that it gives the ground to push of from to make bigger leaps in life & be more bold.

We need to be more bold, louder, wilder, untamed and stand shoulder-to-shoulder!

I am not going to let dignity be touched, not to me, not to other wom(b)en. Because if we let that happen it is over, the seed in us dies and therefore archiarchy dies.

We are beyond repair and beyond words to let anyone who holds up reasons and discussion or righteousness against us.

We Gehabe no time for that! You have no time for that!

I realized many things in 2023 and after amounts of grief I see who I really am and want to be.

No doubting anymore.

No self-hate.

No shying away if an experiment went wrong.

It`s over.

I wanted to experience what other women experience, being in a relationship with a man. I was angry reading about archetypal love. I wanted to practice. Boy, was I foolish. And I made so many mistakes.

So…

…I realized if I want an extraordinary relationship I can never put my barrs down for a man. My boundaries have to be solid and my culture crystal clear.ALWAYS.

And the same goes for your relationship to patriarchy. Never put your barrs down!

The biggest mistake was that I neither chose patriarchy nor archiarchy completely.

I neither chose to stick with the man I had chosen as my partner nor did I stick around long enough with archiarchal women to say what I had to say and to face my fears.

I am standing on the edge.

I needed to chose archiarchy in me first. Because until I am not grounding both feet in archiarchy every emotional healing process I do is a lie.And every space I create and hold is a lie especially doing it alone.

Why Archiarchy?

Because it is the closest Gameworld creating next culture that I know of.

And you woman you want next culture!

Because you are creating it! You are a woman. You have the seeds in you and your anger knows! And we needs sisters!

Nothing will ever come turely out of us if we rage alone. For that too much has happened and is happening.

I know this since I started to feel again. I just let myself be silenced over and over again to quickly, playing along working on myself, doubting myself, giving other people the impression I am small and need this or that.

This is over too!

I remember it very clearly as it was yesterday. In March 2020 I made a post on instagram reminding people that the dignity of people is untouchable with a picture of a smiling me in the background.

I guess it was to nice anyway. BUT I encourage you to stick to the message you want to bring across.

I felt this strong force against archiarchy, against the seed in women all over the world — against life itself. The only thing I could think of was dignity!

Then I looked for fellow edgeworlers, friends, women, men, people who want to create something else in their lives.

I gave up everything, my flat, my furniture and my passport for a while. I thought I could built a community for women. I tried it all. What I didn`t do was speaking about it.

I feel angry about that because how can I speak about something I don`t even know of yet and I can`t explain.

I am in this process right now to feel my pain about verbal reality. It is not nice or linear.

Patriarchy is a world of understanding. People expecting of me all the time to be understandable or understand it. AND to be able to explain things all the time, justifications all the time. I don`t have time for this anymore.

Then over and over again I reached this point in my life where I got stuck. The last time it was in October 2022. It was there the line: escaping patriarchy. I was standing there for days. The emotional fears that came with that were overbearing. I remember I dissociated so much from my body that I needed days in the woods going from mountain to mountain until something in me decided to get everything of me back and I was in my bodies again.

I am still here. I was still there but it was over. I had a YES to me, to the seed in me, to the woman in me even more and then I crossed the line.

I remember I was running for an hour like crazy after that. I had so much energy when the years before I was exhausted quickly all the time. I had my aliveness back.

I was used to stand in this emotional fear alone because I believed that I can`t bring myself to the table.

Don’t fall for that.

I learned the hard way to not do it alone!

So reach out to other women. I am foing this too now.

The only reason I give up the line or fall back into patriarchy is because I don`t speak or I am standing there alone (at least from the women in my surrounding).

This is over too!

I know that I am not alone. The whole year 2023 I am feeling it, the anger, the grief and the waves of the recently happened women`s lab in Portugal.

I was not there but the waves where so strong I just know, feel, taste, sense and smell I am not alone.

And until I crossed the line with all of them together every attempt I did is just a bit of aliveness.

Let`s see if I run the marathon next year.

Today, I realize what I really should have posted at that time in March 2020 and I want to say still is:

The dignity of wom(b)en is untouchable.

No matter what stupid game patriarchy comes up with so the weapons will not go over their expiration date and profit will be maintained. If women rage together it is a force that builds a bond no war can ever be thought of. AND this bond has not boundaries of cities, borders, countries, language, etc.

Game over!

If women collaborate with each other in anger you can not control us anymore. Chaos is. Creaton happens.

So men, if you are ever allowed to touch a woman it comes with a price:

To give up patriarchy immedeately and step into the nothingness.

Only if a women is so brainwashed in leaving her own body, mind, soul, culture or her own physicality, dignity becomes touchable.

This is what foolish boys in a boy culture play: un-dignifying women because they can not stand their radiance. Their ego is not capable of letting the nothingness come trough.

We gave up our circles to circle around them.

And now don’t let us circle around ourselves in pain!

Right now I am holding my sword of clarity, my voice standing on the edge of either destroying myself with all the anger I have inside of me against my own survival strategies growing up in patriarchy OR using the anger to destroy anything around me.

I learned the hard way this year that these were the only options I could chose from when I grew up.

It was either me or you. Either wom(b)en or men. EIther your heart or mine. Either patriarchy or killing myself.

This is not working.And there is another option to choose from.

As I said: Archiarchy!

The edge is were I was standing on most of my life. It is a tense moment. The only NOW where I learned that all feelings can be there at the same time and maybe also the only place for a teenager to stand on if there is neither place for killing yourself nor place for rebellion.

It is the place for people who have something better to do e.g. built archiarchy.

I know this anger. I know it since I was little and especially when I was 14 years older. I might have told the story before: “When I was 14 I cut myself and I did it because…blablabla”. This is all bullshit.

Yes it was self-cannibalism! Yes it was a survival mechanism!

The difference is:

I chose to give my anger this direction consciously. I remember exactly the day I was sitting on the floor and I started to use the cutting of my arms to get archiarchy out of me. That is how much I wanted to protect and understand and be part of patriarchy.

This is over!

Isn`t that the war here so many bullets are lying in the shelfs.

Women never give up your standards! As soon as patriarchal patterns enter your space or the slidest attempt is visible remind each other, hold each other accountable!

The invasion, the abuse, it is over!

I remember in my first Beep Book when I was 14 I wrote with the same anger I have now the exact same words but no one read it. Now I am standing, writing on my labtop, raging here and let my words flow this time I know there is this seed in you too!

During the pandemic I was calling in women. We met in women circles in old halls or in dance studios. Sometimes we were raging together or dancing together to regulate our nervous system together because of this situation. I was talking with people about how important that physical body is and body therapy so people not only are able to find an x on their map but stay in their culture, their context especially if it is about archiarchy. As women it is so easy that patriarchy can slide back in without having fellow women.

By now are you exhausted reading? Is there a voice in you I should come to an end, a point? Open another chapter?

There is no end to woman’s rage!

We will not stop talking until you listen, really listen!

Every women has her own path.It is not about where you cross the line or how you do it. It is YOUR AUTHORITY.

Every Emotional Healing Process you do in modern culture is dried fish. It is colonialized. It is a lie if you are not grounded, centered and bubbled in archiarchy, your culture.

You can write all the EHP`s you need to do down but doing them when it comes to setting free your dignity and restore your own authority as a women grown up in patriarchy you need to set your feet on other ground first.

We as women are deciding where the land is that the plants will grow upon. This is how archiarchy is built.

Archetypal love is a fantasy world without the women being first grounded, bubbled and centered in archiarchy. There would be no practice possible. None. She could never hold her standards long enough or even collaborate with other women.

Since done weeks now I feel like I am 14 again standing on the same edge of: Hello I am an Archan.

The only difference is: Instead of destroying me by eating my anger up or destroying the world around me, I speak out loud!

Come with me!

YOU ARE experiental certainty

IT’S OVER…

• …that the dignity of wom(b)en is untouchable
• …that being sacrificed and sacrificing for patriarchy is the undeniable abuse happened and still happening
• …that shaking with anger in a space full of dignified women is considered to be dangerous as though it is aliveness.

Thank you

Christine

Beyond words was originally published in NEXT CULTURE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.