Fear. It’s a word that encompasses so much more than we think.

I don’t care how tough you think you are, everyone’s afraid of something. It’s called fears of the mundane — like being afraid of say spiders, darkness or clowns. My biggest fear of the mundane: Drinking tequila. Yes — I literally have nightmares about it.

But while fearing the mundane can be scary, it’s important to learn how to overcome the things that terrify our spirit.

Are you afraid of failure? Are you afraid you’ll always be alone? Are you afraid of being hurt? Are you afraid of separation? Are you afraid of turning into your parents? Are you afraid your past will catch up to you… exposing inner insecurities which ultimately dethrone this “mask” you’re wearing that portrays the idea that your happy, moisturized, thriving and loved? (Don’t ask me why I got so specific)

Want to know the battle that’s kicking my ass right now? The great war of surviving your early 20’s. Currently, I’m dealing with this juxtaposition of working nonstop while finding the time to meet personal goals. This shit is hard, and post-grad depression is very real.

Life’s a war… but Teddy Roosevelt said it best:

“It’s not the critic that counts… The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly… if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.”

Wait… “If he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly”… So at the end of the day… did he really fail?

How do you overcome the fears of the spirit? It’s really simple: Take a chance and trust your gut.

I do a great job of reassuring myself that although i’m scared… I can’t allow it to squander my potential. Fear is nothing but a mindkiller. It does nothing but prevent self-love and delays fulfillment of the plan God ordained for your life. Face your fear!

You may fail now… but one day you won’t. Yes, you’re single and alone… but one day someone’s going to turn your world upside down. You may have been hurt… but the lessons are so rewarding. A parent may have failed you… but listen to me — You are NOT your parents.

There’s always going to be something that scares the shit out of us. It’s in our DNA. But the goal isn’t to be fearless… but to coexist with it.

Accept your insecurities. Only then will you overcome fear.

And when it’s gone… only you will remain.

So let’s talk. What are you afraid of you?

In a world of uncertainty, she was like a painting on the wall. Perfection with every stroke. But why is it so hard to text my Picasso in the flesh?

Why is this so stressful? I want to regain that energy and tell her how much I enjoy her company, but honestly the thought of texting made my fingers numb.

The life of an introvert.

On the outside my brow was dripping with sweat, while inside a million voices were telling me to stop. They whispered just wait a little while longer and she’ll reach out.

I mean what if she doesn’t care? What if I yearned for an interstellar vibe so bad that I concocted the perfect cocktail to satisfy my desires. As if everything was just a figment of my imagination, or a childlike dream encompassed with a perfect fantasy that only one of us shares.

My vision was doubling and my palms were so sweaty that I nearly dropped my phone. Have I really fallen for this sirens song?

But that’s when I remembered that cliché everyone keeps throwing around — “Shit, you never know until you know right?” So I had to try.

“Hey, I’ve misse…” No that’s too much.

“When will I see you aga…” Nah that’s too forward.

C’mon keep it casual. You don’t want her to know that she has you losing your balance.

“Hey Stranger.” — Ooh yeah, that’s the one.

I hit send and threw my phone across the room before I could even see if the message delivered. I was retreating. Almost like an overwhelmed army, nervous, as if my life was currently hanging in the balance.

My conscious was relentless. It screamed that I just ruined everything. That I should’ve waited and I was such an idio… “DING”… She texted back.

My phone felt a lifetime away and I slowly picked it up off the bed.

I could’ve sworn in that moment my breathing seemed to malfunction, but I opened her message. I had to know for sure.

And there was her name above a short response that simply read:

“What took you so long?”

The Siren’s Song — A Short Story. was originally published in the Cafe on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Imagine walking into the New York Stock Exchange for what should be a routine business day when BOOM, all hell breaks loose. The news wire flashes as at that very moment a 13.4 billion dollar deal between Amazon and Whole Foods is taking place. The stock exchange floor suddenly goes wild. Traders are screaming while simultaneously show anchors are uncovering details to update viewers tuned into the live show. Money is on everybody’s mind as Amazon’s stock skyrockets bringing childlike grins to investors worldwide. Now imagine standing in the middle of this chaos as just an intern, trying to figure out how the day went from normal to pandemonium. All as the ringing of the opening bell serenades your ears— nuts right? There truly is nothing like Wall Street.

This past summer, I had the opportunity to once again live in the “Big Apple” and intern for business news tycoon CNBC. While there, I further developed my television production skills by splitting time between working with the breaking news producers on the assignment desk and with CNBC’s hit show “Closing Bell”, anchored by Bill Griffeth and Kelly Evans.

In some aspects both departments that I rotated between were similar. However, they each brought unique tasks.

While on the assignment desk, I was asked to help manage the social media pages for CNBC Travel. This allowed me to polish my ability to build a social media following which was highlighted in the conclusion of the internship as we were able to gain thousands of new followers. When working on “Closing Bell”, I was essentially a producer. This entailed me building stock graphics, developing show elements, writing anchor scripts and pitching story ideas in the morning meeting. Having the oppurtunity to consistently work and develop these skills was pivotal. So much so that in the culmination of the summer, I was able to produce my very own segment which was a major accomplishment— nothing like seeing your work on live TV, you know?

Although my experience at CNBC was great, I will admit that at first the idea of covering financial news was something that didn’t appeal to me. My previous experience was in the areas of sports, entertainment and local news. Therefore, transitioning into such an unfamiliar territory was a little uneasy. However, I can now confidently say that joining the CNBC team was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life thus far.

The fact that I am exiting the summer with the ability to say that I am now financially literate is huge. The market is fascinating, and despite my initial hesitation, working in financials is certainly something I would be optimistic about. Oh, and did I mention I met Kim Kardashian?

CNBC is a great company, and I am grateful for having the opportunity to learn from some of the best in the industry. At the end of the day, all I can hope for is to become a better professional with each internship I partake in and NBCUniversal delivered tenfold.

It’s been real New York. Next up, Senior year.

You ever just sit back and reminisce? Not even about moments, but feelings. I don’t know, sometimes I find myself peeling back layers and discovering emotions I feel within a specific moment.

I think that’s why I love New York so much.

To anyone who gets to experience the city, it’s important to take time to truly feel the inner soul within the hot concrete. Appreciate the little things! Take in with a heavy chest that beautiful horrid stench that plagues the streets. Observe the facade within the grimace looks on a packed train, and listen to that soft symphony of chatter as it’s diluted by the high pitched scream of stopping metal. Embrace that vibe of walking slow late at night as you pass the drunken army searching for mischief and purpose.

Try to crack a slight smile when you see those bold ass pigeons harass tourists for crumbs or feel proud when you see the lil’ homie hustling for school supplies by selling Welch’s on the subway. It’s really the little things.

And if you play your cards right, things truly start to fall into place.

I mean personally, I believe things happen for a reason. That if you do things right the universe simultaneously follows suit. That joyous vibe you radiate turns into your dream job calling, it can turn strangers into friends, or even allow you to be in that perfect place at the perfect time to meet that perfect person. Someone who in that moment can make time tick slow and shrink a city from eight million to just two — if only right?

I may sound crazy but your experiences and encounters are solely based upon you and your decisions. Many outsiders have this stigma that New York is filled with chaos, danger and an excessive amount of people. Which in whole is true, but peel back that superficial layer and you’ll see a place that truly pieces one into something greater. In turn, people back home begin treating you differently. Seeing you as something more, as to them your absence from home is a form of rejection and suddenly you’re hit with “Wow, the city changed you huh?” But that’s the thing —it has. So what’s more perfect than self discovery in the City of Stars?

So next time you’re walking through The Village, embrace the vibe! Be you, and intermingle with the hipsters who create that individuality many long for. Or when you’re walking down Wall St. envision that cash! Dream that one day you’ll be financially secure and be able to spend money on whatever your heart desires. Even feel the pain and history as you walk on Fulton St. and pass the beautiful One World Tower.

Just open up. What are you afraid of?

But don’t mind me. I’m just rambling, trying to get people to see things the way I do. I mean, why be so serious?

It’s crazy how people always find the time to post about personal achievements and late crazy nights with friends, but when it comes to family nothing— and that got me thinking. I can’t recall the last time I myself have publicly made it clear how much I cherish my mother. I know she’d appreciate it; therefore, Mom this is for you.

Dear Mom,

First and foremost, I just wanted to say that I love you. I understand that I may not say it often and that ever since I went away to college I haven’t been home nearly enough, but I do love and miss you. I remember how just the other day before a tough final exam I caught myself stressing. That’s when I thought “What would stress expert Dr. Tiffany Lowe- Payne tell me right now?” You’d probably reassure me that everything would be fine, after hitting me for not studying enough the night before. Knowing you always have my back and support me unconditionally is probably why I ended up getting a 102% on that test. So thanks mom.

You truly are the strongest person in my life. It takes a special woman to have a baby in college AND STILL have the courage to go and graduate from medical school despite people telling you that it was impossible. It’s because of this strength I am confident that even in the darkest of times your heart and spirit will guide you back into the light. You’re a Diamond and please don’t let anyone or anything tell you different.

And that brings me to my last point which is that I truly am sorry. I’m sorry for all the times we fought when I was growing up. I’m sorry for all the mistakes I’ve made, which includes how when I was younger, I had the habit of wandering off whenever we were in public — I know that probably gave you a heart attack every time. I’m sorry for all the times I may have said something that hurt you, or even caused late night tears. The truth is since I was little I’ve looked up to you — which is probably why a sense of comfort comes over me whenever I see your picture and name on my phone when you call.

It’s not easy raising two black children in this era and Jordan and myself are thankful for you in every way each and every day.

I already told Grandma this morning that she’ll be the first to ride in my future Lamborghini, but when I make it trust me when I say I got you Ma.

I love you, and Happy Mother’s Day.

A couple weekends ago my girlfriend and I went to see Jordan Peele’s new movie ‘Get Out’ and I will say the hour that followed was an awkward one.

I am not going to reveal any spoilers, but first let me say that ‘Get Out’ was exceptional! Peele did an excellent job of portraying some inner demons within the minds of many black people and I applaud him for that — Also, I mean any movie that starts with Childish Gambino’s “Redbone” is bound to be a bonafide classic.

Let me also say that I love my girlfriend and the past four years have been great.

However, I will say the movie left me shook. I have never before watched something that was so relatable on so many levels.

I’m thinking to myself, “WOW! That movie was great!” ready to further digest it by talking through what I just saw with my girlfriend, but she seemed off. She was silent, walking with her head down a couple steps in front of me downplaying every attempt I made at getting her to praise the movie along with me.

I asked what was wrong and she said, “Honestly, I’m glad you enjoyed the movie but that was the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen. I hated it.”… PAUSE… I’m thinking how in the world could anyone not enjoy the message behind the film. But that’s when it hit me.

It’s all about perspectives. Where she saw it from the angle of “how could anyone think of doing this to a human being?”, I was next to her thinking, “oh yeah, my life, that’s so me!”

I remember throughout the first act of the movie the main character Chris seeked for much needed comfort by searching for a familiar black face in a crowd full of white people. This hit home as my entire high school experience was centered around me constantly trying to fit in with my rich white friends. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed high school but the assimilation process was exhausting — which honestly is probably why I enjoy attending an HBCU so much, but that’s a story for another blog.

Also, another bit of the movie played on the act of someone making sure it’s known they aren’t racist by saying things like, “I wouldve voted to have Obama for a third term if I could!”. This is something I know every single minority on this earth faces when in a different racial crowd. Recently, I remember getting in the car of one of my really good old friends and reaching for the auxiliary cord to play music off my phone. Immediately he goes, “HOLD UP! I know what music you’re about to play.. Let me pump up the bass! I love this stuff!”. I’m thinking, so because I’m black it’s automatically assumed I have rap music qued up? Maybe I do have that new Katy Perry on deck — I didn’t, but still.

Get Out’s main theme and ending was indeed a chilling one. But, it was the minute subliminal themes that resonated with me. Since she has never had to deal with those small occurances of racism, the themes were tough for my girlfriend to grasp, which after our conversation I understood.

The movie is an extreme adaption of the everyday struggle of minorities, which is something I wouldn’t expect her to connect to. However, I am glad it allowed us to finally have the conversation we put off for many years due to thinking it was unnecessary.

Therefore, I explained my perspective and although she was still a little teary eyed, she understood. So I ran to Cookout, got her some food and ice cream, and she was all smiles the rest of the night. The perfect remedy.

Alright, it’s official. I love weddings.

Not even from the aspect as a videographer. But more so as a fan of what the day encompasses.

Recently, the homie Justin Eisner and I filmed one in Raleigh, NC at this beautiful wine bar called Vita Vite and we had a blast.

A wedding, if done right, is pretty much a classy party. Lots of dancing, drinking, and entertainment that you wouldn’t find at regular functions.

Which is why I’m actually really looking forward to my wedding day. I mean granted I am 21 and in zero rush whatsoever, but trust me when I say my wedding is going to be an absolute movie.

I mean think about some of the aspects as to why we love weddings.

To start you have the opportunity to be around family again. It’s always nice to get everyone under the same roof, and knowing my relatives, that turn up would never stop.

Another reason is definitely the food. At the wedding we just filmed in Raleigh, the couple had an unlimited Chicken & Waffle station accompanied by a Mac & Cheese bar — yes, it was incredible. Hopefully my future wife is down for whatever cause our menu already has a must have… none other than a table full of Bojangles Chicken & Biscuits baby!

But the biggest reason is being able to witness that visual representation of love. With my camera, I’m able to capture those subtle moments. However, even as a spectator, it’s easy to sense the love in the air. It’s a reassuring feeling to look into the couple’s eyes and see that overwhelming joy of finding the one. Which I reluctantly can say is a feeling I am looking forward to having myself one day.

I mean you always leave a wedding happy — Well, unless your single and have to go home to nothing. But hey at least you caught the bouquet right?

I remember the rush of sitting in the control room. I stared at the monitors, listening to the director give orders and swear under his breath if something wasn’t perfect. I remember looking over as the executive producer patted sweat off his forehead while coaching the anchors through the most intense segment I had ever seen. Twitter was blowing up waiting for Stephen A. to finally give in and sock Max Kellerman right in the mouth. The producer watched, satisfaction in his eyes knowing that he had produced the perfect segment; that there was no one else better for this job. It was at that moment that I knew this is what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

Recently I had the privilege of visiting ESPN, located in the frozen tundra of Bristol, CT — which I can say, considering I am southerner experiencing ten degree weather for the first time.

ESPN is incredible. The campus is a city in itself and the technology within is topnotch. I remember being given the tour and as I casually passed sports legends like Eric Dickerson, Donavan McNabb, and Jerome Bettis, I honestly thought I must have died and went to sports heaven.

From day one, my mentor for the week, who was the Executive Producer of ESPN’s First Take, submerged me into the production process. I sat next to Stephen A. as we hatched ideas for the show during the morning production meeting. I experienced that poetic chaos within the control room once the program hit the air. I was able to write those punchy tag lines that keep viewers hooked and hungry for more. It was truly an awesome experience.

Being in that environment solidified my desire to produce television content as a career. Producers not only write but shape the television industry and I am eager to make an impact. I’m eager to expose the world to a dynamic they have yet to see.

I know that somewhere in the near future there I’ll be, staring at my beautiful canvas on the control room monitors, smiling and thinking, “there’s no show or no one else better.”