Cindy Gallop on Twitter: "I read @nilsleonard 'Fierce Fearless & Female' out in full to audience at end of our 'The New Creativity #AWXI panel http://t.co/nwupCSWzdd"

I read @nilsleonard 'Fierce Fearless & Female' out in full to audience at end of our 'The New Creativity #AWXI panel http://ow.ly/Cds7n

*clears throat*

The perfect modern creative is a woman. Because I realize that our industry’s culture needs to change, but I’m not willing to take the lead on that.

She won’t have the credentials that we demand of women, but we’ll accept her anyway because she’s “one of the guys.”

But we’ll still call her “this girl.”

She won’t allow history, pay grade, job title or age to stop the candid conversations that will ultimately make the work special (good thing too, because even though she’s one of the guys she won’t be paid as well).

She moves fast and breaks things, including unions, and is totally down with kegerator culture. She reminds me a lot of the woman in that one Ayn Rand novel.

Her best friend might be a planner. Her lover might be a producer. Whatever the fuck that means.

She won’t be a weird introvert, because that’s not attractive to me.

She’ll buy into the ideology of work as play.

She won’t be political in any way I find threatening.

Nils Leonard on Twitter: "My fantasy. http://t.co/Xe3KGKH6OY"

My fantasy. http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising-branding/why-perfect-modern-creative-fierce-fearless-and-female-160473 ...

My name is Nils Leonard, and I’m a creative.

Fortunately, there is one method that you should be using all the time.

How to ReTweet Tweets on Twitter.com

First, open the tweet in your preferred web browser (Internet Explorer on PCs, Camino on the Mac):

Second, use the Inspect Element tool in your browser to locate the content of the tweet:

If you want to create a Modified ReTweet (an “MT”), edit the tweet content as necessary:

Screenshot the tweet in the form in which you would like to ReTweet it:

Then prepare your ReTweet:

Make sure to begin with “ReTweet” (the capitalization is important), then mention the user you are ReTweeting, so they appreciate your propagation of their content.

That’s it!

This is the best and only good way to ReTweet. Klout actually penalizes you if you do it the other ways.

Thanks.

The now-defunct gaming magazine InQuest had a monthly puzzle feature called “Dead Man’s Hand,” in which the reader was presented with an in-progress game of Magic: the Gathering. The reader would be asked to fill the shoes of the losing player and try to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. (If you’re not familiar with the game but want to try your hand at the puzzle, take a skim through the Basic Rulebook.)

Since nothing reminds us of losing like Dylan Byers, the recent media kerfuffle surrounding Arthur Sulzberger’s firing of Jill Abramson inspired me to make a new version of Dead Man’s Hand, with a now-familiar cast of characters:

Now it’s your opponent’s turn, and the board looks like this:

• You are in trouble! You only have 2 life remaining. It won’t take much to finish you off.
• You control Arthur Sulzberger and Dylan Byers, but Arthur is tapped—you used his activated ability to destroy Jill Abramson earlier this turn. You do, however, also control Chipotle:

• It’s your opponent’s combat phase, and Ken Auletta is attacking you. Normally he’s got two power and three toughness, but since there’s a Hack (Dylan) in play, he gets +2/+2 and is a 4/5.
• Dylan has to block Ken in order for you to survive (remember, you’re at 2 life). But before you’ve been given the opportunity to throw Dylan in front of the rampaging Ken Auletta, your opponent cast Some Numbers I’ve Been Given, targeting Dylan!

If this spell is successfully cast, Dylan will die and Ken will kill you! You have to act fast, before Some Numbers strikes Dylan down.

Fortunately, you have some cards in your hand that might just save your ass:

You have three lands which are untapped and available to use: two Swamps and and Island.

So, how are you going to keep Ken from killing you this turn?

ANSWER SHEET

• Statement From Junior can’t stop Ken, because he’s already tapped and attacking. Wall Punch won’t work either, because it’s a Sorcery (meaning you have to wait until your turn to play it) and Ken’s grown too powerful due to Dylan’s presence on the battlefield.
• If you let Dylan die, Ken would shrink back to a 2/3, but that’s still enough to kill you—you’re only at 2 life.

Solution #1

Make Dylan a Wonk, because he’ll then get +0/+6 due to Chipotle. Some Numbers I’ve Been Given won’t be able to kill him when he’s so strengthened, and he can block Ken and keep you alive for another turn. But you don’t have an untapped Island, and Legacy Admission requires blue mana.

1. Remember that Arthur killed Jill this turn. That means you can play The Neoliberal Consensus, and untap two lands. Cast it, then untap a Swamp and and Island.
2. Use those untapped lands to cast Legacy Admission on Dylan, making him a Wonk.
3. Dylan is now a 1/7 with trample, because Chipotle boosts all Wonks.
4. Some Numbers I’ve Been Given reduces Dylan to a 1/2, but he’s still alive.
5. Block Ken with Dylan. Dylan dies, but you remain alive at 2 life! Sure you’ll probably die next turn, but it’s not like we expected Dylan’s story to hold up very long anyway.

Solution #2

Morgan Martin found another solution that I hadn’t even planned!

1. Cast The Neoliberal Consensus to untap a Swamp and and Island.
2. Cast Legacy Admission on Ken, rather than Dylan. Legacy Admission gives Ken Infect, which means he will give you poison counters instead of dealing damage when he attacks you. (You lose a game of Magic if your life drops to zero or if you have 10 poison counters.)
3. Let Some Numbers I’ve Been Given kill Dylan.
4. Ken gives you four poison counters, but you need 10 to die, and you’re still at 2 life. You survive the turn!

Morgan also pointed out that casting Statement From Junior on Ken is still a good idea: even if it won’t stop him from attacking you this turn, it will prevent him from untapping (and so being able to attack) during your opponent’s turn, buying you even more time.

“A bad thing! Do you really think it a bad thing?—why so?”

“I think they will neither of them do the other any good.”

“You surprize me! Ezra must do Dylan good: and by supplying him with a new object of interest, Dylan may be said to do Ezra good. I have been seeing their intimacy with the greatest pleasure. How very differently we feel!—Not think they will do each other any good! This will certainly be the beginning of one of our quarrels about Ezra, Mr. Knightley.”

“Perhaps you think I am come on purpose to quarrel with you, knowing Weston to be out, and that you must still fight your own battle.”

“Mr. Weston would undoubtedly support me, if he were here, for he thinks exactly as I do on the subject. We were speaking of it only yesterday, and agreeing how fortunate it was for Ezra, that there should be such a boy in Washington for him to associate with. Mr. Knightley, I shall not allow you to be a fair judge in this case. You are so much used to live alone, that you do not know the value of a companion; and, perhaps no man can be a good judge of the comfort a man feels in the society of one of his own sex, after being used to it all his life. I can imagine your objection to Dylan Matthews. He is not the superior young man which Ezra’s friend ought to be. But on the other hand, as Ezra wants to see him better informed, it will be an inducement to him to read more himself. They will read together. He means it, I know.”

“Ezra has been meaning to read more ever since he was twelve years old. I have seen a great many lists of his drawing-up at various times of books that he meant to read regularly through—and very good lists they were—very well chosen, and very neatly arranged—sometimes alphabetically, and sometimes by some other rule. The list he drew up when only fourteen—I remember thinking it did his judgment so much credit, that I preserved it some time; and I dare say he may have made out a very good list now. But I have done with expecting any course of steady reading from Ezra. He will never submit to any thing requiring industry and patience, and a subjection of the fancy to the understanding. Where Miss Taylor failed to stimulate, I may safely affirm that Dylan Matthews will do nothing.—You never could persuade him to read half so much as you wished.—You know you could not.”

“I dare say,” replied Mrs. Weston, smiling, “that I thought so then;—but since we have parted, I can never remember Ezra’s omitting to do any thing I wished.”

“There is hardly any desiring to refresh such a memory as that,”—said Mr. Knightley, feelingly; and for a moment or two he had done. “But I,” he soon added, “who have had no such charm thrown over my senses, must still see, hear, and remember. Ezra is spoiled by being the cleverest of his family. At ten years old, he had the misfortune of being able to answer questions which puzzled his sister at seventeen. He was always quick and assured: Isabella slow and diffident. And ever since he was twelve, Ezra has been master of the house and of you all. In his mother he lost the only person able to cope with him. He inherits his mother’s talents, and must have been under subjection to her.”

“I should have been sorry, Mr. Knightley, to be dependent on your recommendation, had I quitted Mr. Hiatt’s family and wanted another situation; I do not think you would have spoken a good word for me to any body. I am sure you always thought me unfit for the office I held.”

“Yes,” said he, smiling. “You are better placed here; very fit for a wife, but not at all for a governess. But you were preparing yourself to be an excellent wife all the time you were at the Post. You might not give Ezra such a complete education as your powers would seem to promise; but you were receiving a very good education from him, on the very material matrimonial point of submitting your own will, and doing as you were bid; and if Weston had asked me to recommend him a wife, I should certainly have named Miss Taylor.”

“Thank you. There will be very little merit in making a good wife to such a man as Mr. Weston.”

“Why, to own the truth, I am afraid you are rather thrown away, and that with every disposition to bear, there will be nothing to be borne. We will not despair, however. Weston may grow cross from the wantonness of comfort, or his son may plague him.”

“I hope not that.—It is not likely. No, Mr. Knightley, do not foretell vexation from that quarter.”

“Not I, indeed. I only name possibilities. I do not pretend to Ezra’s genius for foretelling and guessing. I hope, with all my heart, the young man may be a Weston in merit, and a Churchill in fortune.—But Dylan Matthews—I have not half done about Dylan Matthews. I think him the very worst sort of companion that Ezra could possibly have. He knows nothing himself, and looks upon Ezra as knowing every thing. He is a flatterer in all his ways; and so much the worse, because undesigned. His ignorance is hourly flattery. How can Ezra imagine he has any thing to learn himself, while Dylan is presenting such a delightful inferiority? And as for Dylan, I will venture to say that he cannot gain by the acquaintance. The Post will only put him out of conceit with all the other places he belongs to. He will grow just refined enough to be uncomfortable with those among whom birth and circumstances have placed his home. I am much mistaken if Ezra’s doctrines give any strength of mind, or tend at all to make a boy adapt himself rationally to the varieties of his situation in life.—They only give a little polish.”

“I either depend more upon Ezra’s good sense than you do, or am more anxious for his present comfort; for I cannot lament the acquaintance. How well he looked last night!”

“Oh! you would rather talk of his person than his mind, would you? Very well; I shall not attempt to deny Ezra’s being pretty.”

“Pretty! say beautiful rather. Can you imagine any thing nearer perfect beauty than Ezra altogether—face and figure?”

“I do not know what I could imagine, but I confess that I have seldom seen a face or figure more pleasing to me than his. But I am a partial old friend.”

“Such an eye!—the true hazle eye—and so brilliant! regular features, open countenance, with a complexion! oh! what a bloom of full health, and such a pretty height and size; such a firm and upright figure! There is health, not merely in his bloom, but in his air, his head, his glance. One hears sometimes of a child being ‘the picture of health;’ now, Ezra always gives me the idea of being the complete picture of grown-up health. He is loveliness itself. Mr. Knightley, is not he?”

“I have not a fault to find with his person,” he replied. “I think him all you describe. I love to look at him; and I will add this praise, that I do not think him personally vain. Considering how very handsome he is, he appears to be little occupied with it; his vanity lies another way. Mrs. Weston, I am not to be talked out of my dislike of Dylan Matthews, or my dread of its doing them both harm.”

“And I, Mr. Knightley, am equally stout in my confidence of its not doing them any harm. With all dear Ezra’s little faults, he is an excellent creature. Where shall we see a better son, or a kinder brother, or a truer friend? No, no; he has qualities which may be trusted; he will never lead any one really wrong; he will make no lasting blunder; where Ezra errs once, he is in the right a hundred times.”

“Very well; I will not plague you any more. Ezra shall be an angel, and I will keep my spleen to myself till Christmas brings John and Isabella. John loves Ezra with a reasonable and therefore not a blind affection, and Isabella always thinks as he does; except when he is not quite frightened enough about the children. I am sure of having their opinions with me.”

“I know that you all love him really too well to be unjust or unkind; but excuse me, Mr. Knightley, if I take the liberty (I consider myself, you know, as having somewhat of the privilege of speech that Ezra’s mother might have had) the liberty of hinting that I do not think any possible good can arise from Dylan Matthews’s intimacy being made a matter of much discussion among you. Pray excuse me; but supposing any little inconvenience may be apprehended from the intimacy, it cannot be expected that Ezra, accountable to nobody but his father, who perfectly approves the acquaintance, should put an end to it, so long as it is a source of pleasure to himself. It has been so many years my province to give advice, that you cannot be surprized, Mr. Knightley, at this little remains of office.”

“Not at all,” cried he; “I am much obliged to you for it. It is very good advice, and it shall have a better fate than your advice has often found; for it shall be attended to.”

“Mrs. John Knightley is easily alarmed, and might be made unhappy about her brother.”

“Be satisfied,” said he, “I will not raise any outcry. I will keep my ill-humour to myself. I have a very sincere interest in Ezra. Isabella does not seem more my sister; has never excited a greater interest; perhaps hardly so great. There is an anxiety, a curiosity in what one feels for Ezra. I wonder what will become of him!”

“So do I,” said Mrs. Weston gently, “very much.”

“He always declares he will never marry, which, of course, means just nothing at all. But I have no idea that he has yet ever seen a man he cared for. It would not be a bad thing for him to be very much in love with a proper object. I should like to see Ezra in love, and in some doubt of a return; it would do him good. But there is nobody hereabouts to attach him; and he goes so seldom from home.”

“There does, indeed, seem as little to tempt him to break his resolution at present,” said Mrs. Weston, “as can well be; and while he is so happy at the Post, I cannot wish him to be forming any attachment which would be creating such difficulties on poor Mr. Hiatt’s account. I do not recommend matrimony at present to Ezra, though I mean no slight to the state, I assure you.”

Part of her meaning was to conceal some favourite thoughts of her own and Mr. Weston’s on the subject, as much as possible. There were wishes at Randalls respecting Ezra’s destiny, but it was not desirable to have them suspected; and the quiet transition which Mr. Knightley soon afterwards made to “What does Weston think of the weather; shall we have rain?” convinced her that he had nothing more to say or surmise about the Post.

so let me geg this stargih………….

you jSUT graduatiod college last year and youra er leady makgub 800 dolar soalra plys a asotck poition bunison? you are liginv gby yourlsef in a kilelr HAYES alley apaprtmetn??? ad yoaurea still liugn enough? to maricalously ever epesrsice hangoubers

YOUD BRAT!!!!!! you areldy psss me off

weait——-you DIDINT VEN GARUDATE form colaeeh?????? you sroped oput abtter two years becaseu you were amgkin 100/erha on teh eweeked sa as a designer and you realized that a sAOCIoldlgy degree form ohio stae oaws a less baluable use ouyr your time?

wath an obcous punk you are

how DARSE you hame na ocome basefo an obejcetive skillet tha tifilils real rolwr demand for yous servies!! this is america where do YOU tikn y are

yo are 20 YRARS old!!?!? that is not suposed to work THIS is ahow the system is supposede to sunfciton:

you are SUPOSED to envter colege ads a mindless draesenre you are supposed TO uncir 122000000000 in decyt,, while a bunch of middleaege porodeoros elp you discover who you are> I don’t aere if your passionr is for desiginsng interfacses0-you ahave not gone rhough the selddisvvoery process yes! you anly thihnk taht you uknow what you wnat in lige. adn hiwle at coollege, aryou are upposed to party and heaply as possible, pretned you are hot getting help fromyour patenst, adn worl some sort of menial 8hour job on campus in the gum or bookstoer.

then shen you grauste you are USPPOSED to get a job at the bottom of some corpotea totelm pole, reagnin peanuts, while parating that your arbitrary perfmoromationreview can get you a gour per cent s raise and a good recommndation fo buiess school or law schoool. or osme of the those “I hOTE my lie, i am going to swtich gerars by getting a MFA” schools

THAT is aupose things workd back in y day…… you annoyig bratty bpusk just dont get si

BY making a high wage at a young age uou are psuing ral and hosnet san Fransicsians out of the housing market. sure you are making less money that some electicaisn or restaurant managers, but those guys habe famliies to suport nad they pay attensiotn to htier saving s ans fdreitriement

so when you relceklssly spend p5909ew87 / most on your appastment is ti sconwing oyt the peoel who are tfar more thoguhtufl about theyri finansceis. eopeosl with real respoinbsiblieitesi. preople with famleise

did you know that those guys hav two 2 kdis whne they were your age??? that is how things are suSPOOSE to sork. .. who do ou think youa re peoing uinarmeied for most of your 230s? no kids until have a futrue wife and been married for foiewrnuyres?

IS THAT A JOKE??????????????????????????????????????

What the hell is wontg with ouyu?

the wols needs more HUMASN BEUGN-immegisate —get to work you lazy cum

HOEW date you try to habe fun ast a young age or enojoy the nenefits or eary succccess? dont you kjnow where thies sotry is heaing don’t you know? how this will until;ately play ot…..well liet me kwenlight eyou

ewn you are 9230481230948 eyars old counting dount hw weeks until eelcetio day, awthcing jerporyar lke its yoru hbo, and unable to poiss un under nien minutes, you will haeke your fist at the headvens and sream in out reposentant agony………

WY DID YO SPSESNDC MY 1020Q LEINN PRUDCETLY WITHIGN MNAE M HAING ZERO FUN NEVER TRAVELING ADN IGNORING MY DREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ENTIRELY

tha’s what you wish you will have done

beacusef old peoel alawsy look back aty their lives and widhs that htey had dewwer fun experinces. they ihsh that they had amebaces and eaxcetic and preducet lige their their epak physical yeras

Byou will too just awit

if you were smart you woul live in pETlaums—-wher rent is muhc heaper and San Fransiis-and you would drive 90 mintesu to the ofivces in soma each day . that osld make it diccultis to hav a xoail life, ure, bu tyoiu would abolutesly save casg. more immportalty it would allow a REAL san craiscana to have the aprtmaent for whcih you have to soelfishly partid a fari market rat.

that s what a smart you person whouxl so

but NO not yOU not you mir spolked techie barty

you just INIDT oupon owrking your insiste upong follogin your passion. yuou insssit upon midinvg from the Midterstern fown in hihw you were pborn — and cih whih it was your gAT to remin—and seek out reeer pastures n Sa FRansicos

Coufns you be nany more selfishh??

YOu aere bru in the suborubs of Cicnitanto, Ihio-who the hell habe you the idea that youw had the right to maive to San Fransicos? and dispuate REAL Sana Frnasicsoius??????????????????

Wthas’s nestxt, areo u going to suport fair treatyment for hte millisos of immigratnts who seek a beter like in OURT coutrny?! the were BORN in eaastern Euproe and Latin American, how adarte htey come to the United States and Marktas theyir siklls against real Amesrtian

YOur gratea -grapndpartsntes are roling in their graves you self-entirelsi littels praks

But sere his what really pissses me of aobut smug lieket kerlsk lke you.. You just don’t know youre pace. you are only 20 years old. I am nin my 40 s T/herefore, you are upoopsed to workhgisp me . aAnd deer to me. A/nd do what I sell you so ti.

In the good old dasys, I would be the mdimanager at GEnersl Electric, and you would be my litle piek0faces intern, adn you would do exactly wht I told you do to I would make you fetch my coffee, and to the intellectial grunt owkr and data entry that is far too boring for a paerson as old me. The nI would lreave arly , while you stay land atmd ma your cubiebel for the sake of face-tiem

TAht is the sustem what e used to know and love..

Now beause your youtha nd skilletl enables you to take on didspropoirtionate rsik, whlie i was bohgges down tring to geed my familhy, you think that they system can tuyrn on its’ eahea. you thing that 20romweghign can be CEO while mpelpel like me obersee your gthee-erposn accounts receinveable D[artomt

WElL scerw you

I’ goint to the neraerst Ace Haewrseas to buy a few bringskc. welll see how you feel when those bricks take out oone our our offices einwodw.s Then you will kowno yohs’ hboss.

And yosc reyo hyours Friaday aftenoon beewr pong tournaetn0-I descrotyem my transcript and psent a n extra year at UC SSTAN barbara trying to master berr pong gam. the chichcs thoght I was aseome back then. How date you wnjoy this wondergul pastime fro the pulsuh confinfes of your Toswnsent STreet office, hwli simulatelnely pbuilsing a venture-backed compnany!! you wan tot work hard HLIW paling HRAD? thats an outrage

Sna Farnscisos belongs to me. not you. iTS” MIEN

My dad was born here NOt your. I m the one who epsnte tree summers orkign at Jaaba Juie on Kraly tret. Not you. I”m nthe huy who is gonna have to drive to Catna Sclara nine times each heayr to aeach the 4sers . NOT OY

YOu ungrateufl lacy, sel-entirels, xunophobic, naibe butter yougj punk. KNOW Yoyuare PLACE DAN

(also cans I hae a rasi)