LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON: MUSING ON KABAFEST 22

It was a cool September evening in 2022 when I went out, on my friend’s invitation, and found myself inside the gates of Stonehedge hotel and convention center. It had been the second day of the annual Kaduna Book and Arts Festival (KABAFEST), and I had not the faintest idea. My friend loosely described it as a gathering of people like me, stuff I would like.

I made my way to the registration stall to put my name down and obtain an identification tag. Then I proceeded to the hall where the events took place. The first couple of moments felt unsettling for me. I felt out of place and utterly conscious of myself. I settled into a seat, taking in the faces of the people around me. Their faces radiated a peculiar glow, they carried a certain air, and bore a smart sophistication – book smart, I felt intimidated and excited all at once.

In the distance a book talk was going on, the author's soaring, indulgent voice snapped me out of my thoughts. The author, Audee T. Giwa (I found out later) was talking about the stages of drunkenness as described in his recent collection of short stories, Love in the Afternoon. He spoke with a liveliness and energy that captivated me. It reminded me of my fascination with words. Suddenly, I was smiling, my body relaxing, and I was settling into the atmosphere. That evening I returned home with a tag, the festival program, and a copy of Love in the Afternoon.

KABAFEST began in 2017, organized by the Kaduna State Government and the Gusau Institute in collaboration with Book Buzz Foundation under the direction of the brilliant festival organizer, Lola Shoneyin. The former governor of Kaduna state, Nasir El - Rufai had stated that the goal was to “institutionalize the festival as a fixture of the cultural calendar of Kaduna state”. And they succeeded. KABAFEST has been documented as the first book festival in Northern Nigeria. After the inaugural edition, the festival was hosted again in 2018 and 2019, before it was disrupted in 2020 and 2021 due to the Covid-19 pandemic. The festival resumed in 2022, and will again be hosted this year from the 1st, to the 4th day of May.

In the days that followed, I sat through lively book chats, interesting movie screenings, an incredibly moving dance performance by the MUD ART COMPANY. I enjoyed some food tastings and bought books. Without realizing it, I had finally settled into that crowd, navigating the environment felt natural to me. Some sophistication and glow had rubbed on me too.

On the festival finale, we got treated to poetry recitals and musical performances. Hauwa Saleh, Yunusa Salim, Abdulbasit Abubakar, and other poets recited beautiful poetry. Jordan Bangoji and Stringz Shady lit the stage with their musical numbers.

The crowning event of the 2022 KABAFEST was an electrifying performance by the artist Ladipoe. He took to the stage and sang some of his memorable and catchy hits. The whole crowd was energized, the atmosphere electric.

We danced to the rhythm and sang along, mouthing the lyrics at the top of our lungs. I was transfixed. I looked around me, everyone was having a good time. My friend, in front of me, was happy, I too was happy.

I caught myself smiling and swaying as Ladipoe sang “I like the way I'm feeling now, omo e get small thing wey they stress me but right now, I'm chilling now oh oh oh oh oh oh…”, and I didn't just mouth the lyrics, I felt it too. It had been a rough couple of months – I'd been nose deep in job searches fresh out of my one-year mandatory National Youth Service. My savings were depleting fast, and hopes shattering. But at that moment, none of it mattered. I liked the way I felt in that space, at that moment, and that was all that mattered.

A lot can happen in 5 years. A trend began on twitter in January with the caption, what 5 years have done to me, in which people shared 2 photos of themselves 5 years apart to demonstrate how much 5 years have transformed them. Not much about my physical appearance has changed, even though I’ve been working out now, so instead of a photo, I want to share what lessons 5 years have taught me.

These are some of the lessons I’ve learned in 5 years:

1. Your now is not your forever.
Over the years at different points in life, I’ve found myself either stuck or in a difficult situation that I thought I’d never come out of but eventually did. It’s happened enough times for me to realize that tough times don’t last forever, and sure as the earth revolves around the sun, whatever you’re going through, one day you’ll wake up and realise it’s forgotten or totally insignificant.

This time next year I’ll be living so good won’t remember no pain, I swear. -Sza

2. Late bloomers bloom too.
In life some people are sprinters, some jog, and others brisk walk through life but each person has a destination and the pace shouldn’t matter if you don’t lose your way. Something about the term late bloomer makes people averse to it. No one likes to be called a late bloomer, not even me. However, one thing I wish people would understand more is that late bloomer doesn’t mean never bloomer, and you’re going to bloom anyways, whether it’s in late January or early May, no one is ever going to take that from you.

3. A smile and a wink will get you farther than you think.
I’ve learned this secret more than 5 years ago and it’s saved me more times than I can recall. It’s all about attitude. The right attitude will put you in places that sometimes hard work or talent won’t. It’s the simplest things like please, thank you, sorry, holding the door for a stranger, smiling at the security man or janitor. Over all it’s just being a decent human being.

4. Patience truly is a blessing.
You’ve probably heard the phrase "good things come to those who wait". Patience is the difference between holding on, and quitting on your self. Six years ago, someone once said to me "you have a lot of patience, but you must learn the difference between being patient and wasting your time". I never forgot that and everyday since, I’ve been learning the difference and even though I’ve wasted my time on some things in the past, I’ve waited patiently for some things that have been a blessing to me.

5. I am a teabag.
sometimes you’re like a teabag, not very useful until you are dipped in hot water. -Unknown

I’ve tried to wish it away many times but some of my biggest life trials have been through scalding hot water. There’s no other way around it, I grow through what I go through and nothing ever good or lasting in my life came easy or free or cheap and for that I’m grateful. Learning this has shaped my perspective on life and other things.

There! Like I said a lot can happen in 5 years. It’s not just about the physical transformation, it’s also the spiritual and emotional growth we go through or the shift in mindset. I hope this simple post was inspiring enough?

Dare to Live.

Lau Tau wrote “a man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live”. It takes inner courage and an open mindset to fully grasp these words and dare to live.

2014/15 were the worst years of my life. On the 17th of March 2015 I realized that I would be withdrawn from my course of study (Vet. Medicine) if I didn’t seek out on my own. It was a really dark period in my life. The decision to leave Vet. Medicine was one of the hardest I ever had to make. Long story short, things took a downward spiral from there. I lost a very big part of myself then, along with my self-esteem. I contemplated suicide a couple of times, I even did self-harm, cutting myself and watching myself bleed till I fell asleep not minding that I might lose too much blood and go into shock. I did all these while putting a normal front. I pretended so well no one noticed I was going through one of the worst moments of my life. On top of it all I was flat broke and stranded in school because my mom was disappointed in me and told me not to come home.

It is human nature for us to live in fear and fear breeds doubt which leads to uncertainty. Fear is crippling. It is my desire to shed light on fear, and courage.

Robert Greene in his book, the 50th Law, wrote; understand this: we are all too afraid…for thousands of years our relationship to this emotion has evolved from a primitive fear of nature, to a generalized anxiety about the future, to the fearful attitude that now dominates us. What I think Robert Greene is saying is that we have allowed our fears to evolve with us. We’ve let our fears take different forms from a once primitive fear of nature (which was a basic instinct for survival) to a general anxiety towards everything. But I believe that if we dare to live, we can evolve past our fears.

What are your greatest fears? My biggest fear is the fear of failure and I let it haunt me for so long until I found the courage to face it, and that’s not to say that it doesn’t still cripple me from time to time. So many people are so afraid of so many things in their lives that they feel the quickest or best way to end it is to die, but I want us all to find the inner courage to live.

Dare to live! Joyce Meyer once wrote that “any day that we don’t give up, puts us one day closer to success”. Never give up in life because you never know how close you are to your finish line, whatever that is to you (happiness, goals, salvation etc.). find the courage to live even when life’s giving you 99 reasons not to.

I wish I could tell you that life got better after 2015 but I’d be lying to you. Every new level you ascend in life, there’s a new devil for you to slay. Life doesn’t get better, you only get stronger through God and through experience, and better equipped to face its numerous challenges. I remember a SZA song where she sang “this time next year I’ll be living so good, won’t remember your name, I swear…this time next year I’ll be living so good, won’t remember no pain…” whatever your trouble or struggle, you name it. This time next year, maybe this time in 2 0r 3 years you won’t remember its name. Let go of whatever fear that haunts you and find the courage to live, please. Your best life awaits you.

“some things are easier said than done”. Yeah I know. People take their lives every day, the weight of the world crushes peoples spirit till it grinds their life to a halt. Sometimes people hit rock bottom and are unable to bounce back and move on. I understand these things because I’ve been through most of them myself and I know it’s possible to rise above these things because every day I dare to live and not give death or failure the upper hand. So what I ask is not impossible. You can rise above it all if you just dare to live. The bible (Joshua 1:9) commanded us to “be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for God is always with you”. Read also psalms 27 for reassurance.

When you dare to live today and you repeat tomorrow, soon you’ll realize that you’re gaining tremendous experiences through life that enables you to be better at living than others. Joel Osteen, one of my favorite authors sums it up well, he said “when you go through enough dark places, you don’t complain about life’s little inconveniences. You don’t get upset because you didn’t get a parking spot. You don’t lose your joy when you get stuck in traffic. You don’t get offended if a coworker was rude to you. You’ve been through too much to let that sour you. Your back bone has been made into steel”. Some things you handle might be more serious than losing your mind over traffic. It might be overcoming an addiction, learning to forgive, learning to smile again, learning more about yourself. The possibility is endless but you can only witness and enjoy all that when you dare to live.

In My Name.

What’s in a name? I’ve heard the question asked countless times to mention. But really, what’s in a name? What makes it hold such sentimental value and grand place of importance?

For a long period of my life growing up I disliked my name. My first and obvious reason being that Edwin was too English/white for a black son of the soil like me. Secondly, Edwin just doesn’t sit well on my tongue no matter the word acrobatics I employed to balance the vowels and consonants and give it a melodic ring. Then there’s the problem of mispronouncing my name or even changing it completely. I’ve been called Edward, Eduwin, Edwit, even Evelyn no kidding!

I found other monikers to try and bury the humiliation of constantly reminding people that it’s Edwin not Edward. In pre-primary school I once lied to some folks in a house I was having a sleep over at. I told them my name was Emmanuel. You can imagine my mom’s shock coming to pick her son and hearing “sorry there’s no Edwin here”... These days I’m known by Odin or simply Ed.

A name can have a profound impact on a child well into adulthood. Research has shown a strong link between a person's like or dislike of his or her name, and high and low self esteem. A person's name can also be associated with socioeconomic status and even serious matters like destiny and life choices.

In Numerology, every name has a vibratory number which is believed to determine the person’s personality and self expression. This number is referred to as the person’s expression or personality number.

Names also hold great significance in the Bible. For example. In the account of Genesis 32:27-28, Jacob wrestled with an angel from dusk till dawn. And he (the angel) said to him, “what is your name?” And he said “Jacob”. And the angel said “you shall no more be called Jacob, but Israel for you have striven with God and with men, and you have prevailed”. Also in the account of Matthew1:23, the angel had declared to the prophet “behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Immanuel (which means God with us)”. Through the Bible you will see many examples of names and the impact those names have had on the bearer.

In my experience I've found that people who share the same names sometimes have certain shared characteristics peculiar to their names. For example, I've had the chance of knowing 2 people who share the same name as me and all 3 of us have shared characteristics which are: dependability, gentility, reserve, and conscientiousness. I've also observed similar shared characteristics of people named David. They are physically strong, opinionated, and strong-willed. They are also confident and outgoing people (my childhood best friend is David).

Whatever the roles we think names play in our lives and destiny, there are several growing researches that our names are intertwined with our destinies and connected to our life choices.

You Want a Seat at The Table?
Sometimes you wonder why you’re not given a recognition or accolade you haven’t earned or deserved. That feeling is called entitlement, you feel entitled to something you’ve not worked for. Let’s be totally honest with ourselves, we’ve all at some point played the entitlement card, whether out of complacency, stupidity or just plain arrogance, we’ve at one point felt we deserve something which we’ve not worked for. Entitlement, however is no substitute for hard work and value. You cannot plant where you have not ploughed and you cannot reap where you have not sown. You simply can’t demand a title you haven’t earned.
As a human being, irrespective of your rank and breeding, you owe it to yourself to hold yourself with utmost regard and accountability. That includes conducting your affairs with decorum being of value and giving your best at whatever you do. Only when you’ve done this and more will you take a seat at the table.

You know the proverbial table. The one that signifies your accomplishments and that you’ve earned the right to dine with the big leagues. Before you ask to take a seat at the table, ask yourself what you bring to the table, and before you bring a seat to the table ask yourself what you have to offer at the table besides a seat! To do that you must recognize your worth and be of value. Chances are if you know your value you won’t wait around for a seat at the table. If you know what you bring to the table, you won’t be scared to dine alone.

Remember the parable of the talent (bible: Matthew 24:14-30, Luke 19:12-27)? A certain noble man went about to conquer a city and before his departure, gave some talents(money) to his servants. Some he gave 10 talents, some 5 and unto one he gave 1 talent. When he departed, his servants traded the talents which he gave them and made profits, however, the one that was given 1 talent went and hid his own. Long story short, upon the noble man’s arrival, the servants who had traded their talents and made profits were duly rewarded and praised but the one who hid his talent was cast out of the kingdom to his own doom. How does the parable apply you ask? Well the way I see it, if you trade whatever little talent you have (I mean actual real talent/gift) and make profits (gain in experience, achievements, influence etc.) you will be duly rewarded with a seat at the table of kings and noble men. But if you take your talent hide and sleep on it, then you have no business at the table because you will only bring disgrace and scorn to yourself.

Don’t hide under the cover of rap songs going about saying you’ve got so much haters; nobody wishes you well etc. when in fact you have nothing real or tangible to offer. These rappers actually have real haters who don’t wish them well. Don’t lie around sulking over other people’s success and saying no one wishes you well. If you want a seat at the table, you have to get up and earn it.

Self-Growth Starts with Self-Acceptance.
“Do you love yourself? Then you must love your own nature and all that it entails”. I believe Socrates said that.
Self-acceptance is one of the hardest thing to master for some people (including myself), especially when you don’t consider yourself perfect or whole or pure. We have a lot of standards to reach; religious standards, social standards, personal standards etc… with all these standards to meet it’s easy to get overwhelmed and not reaching them can sometimes make us feel like failures in ourselves.
But I’m not talking about self-acceptance that comes from reaching a standard, I’m talking about self-acceptance that comes from loving ourselves in spite of all our deep flaws. The ones that make us despise ourselves and make living with ourselves difficult or unbearable. You know what am talking about. Those ugly, detestable things we utterly despise about ourselves, those things that make us feel unworthy and undeserving of good things or good people…
Self-acceptance however difficult it may be, is necessary for self-growth and unless we learn to accept ourselves with all our filth and ugliness, we cannot reach self-growth and personal development. And the simple reason is this: you cannot nurture something you despise. You can pretend not to despise it and nurture it anyway but you will do so begrudgingly, and you will end up despising it even more.
See in order for you to achieve self-growth or any growth in your life, you must learn to accept yourself warts and all, love yourself unconditionally and recognize that you are a perfect being that may sometimes do imperfect things or have imperfect ways, but those imperfections should not hold you down or define you. Here’s why you can’t grow if you don’t first accept yourself:
You cannot water a rock and expect to grow fruits. By not accepting yourself you subconsciously block every chance and opportunity to better yourself because like I said you can’t nurture something you despise. Your self-hatred is like a cancer that gradually spreads to your entire being until soon enough you find nothing good or lovable about yourself. When you don’t accept yourself any attempt to grow falls flat because you lack the capacity to manifest growth through self-love.
So first learn to accept yourself and then practice self-growth…

YOUR HUSTLE PURE
We live in a time and age where everything’s too flashy and tacky. You are nothing if you’re not moving with the IT crowd, wearing latest designer brands or vacationing in some exotic locations.
People are increasingly vague and materialistic and society is quick to look down upon people who don’t wear or give off the appearance of success.
With this existing trend people are pressured into doing things and assuming lifestyles that their income cannot support, and no other age demographic is more affected by this than the millennials. The so called “Instagram generation” are more than ready to do anything “for the grams” if it will guarantee them a shot at any fleeting fame. That is why it’s common news these days to hear of youths and teenagers dying from reckless things like “the Kiki challenge”, “one corner” dance challenge etc.
Society is obsessed with the idea of success than the actual pursuit of success and people with jobs and hustle that seem less successful or fancy are easily berated, while big shot entertainers and so called big boys and slay queens are glorified. But I want to assure you that your hustle is pure even if you’re hawking bread on the street. As long as you make an honest living and pay your bills and put food on your table, your hustle is pure.
Never let people bully you into their idea of success. If you sell phone accessories for a living, or fix generators, or flip burgers at an eatery, or make passive income online…you are still successful and your hustle is pure. Success is not an elevator you hop on and instantly get to the top. It is a ladder you climb gradually, a step at a time until you get there.

Inside: The Mind of Nonso Amadi
I personally like artists who are not showy. Artists who don’t reveal much but let their minds flow through their music. Such is the person of Nonso Amadi. The Lagos born Nigerian-Canadian singer burst to the scenes in 2015 with his EP “Alone” which was accompanied by his hit single “Tonight”. He has been relevant in music since then but not much is known about him.
My personal research only led to dismal tidbits about him which seem to be consistent in rotation on all platforms and is as follows:
He is from a family of 7, the 3rd oldest
He studied B.Sc. Chemical Engineering in Nigeria and has a Masters from McMaster’s University, Canada
He has dreams of being on the Billboard list and working with Jon Bellion
He is a singer, songwriter/producer.
But all this isn’t enough personally, given the fact that am now hooked to this artist by his sound (Radio was my ultimate jam last year). So I dug deep…the closest I could get to the mind of Nonso Amadi was an interview he did with ndani TV back in February 2017. In it he credits his love/interest for music to his childhood buddy who he recorded music with on his laptop.
When asked what statement he wanted to make with his music, he said “I do try to address much lighter topics that still hold some weight to people. I would comfortably write songs about depression, crushing, lust and so on which address the issues of loneliness or rejection, because it’s comforting to hear something once in a while talking about those down sides of love that we’ve all been through”. Right there we get a glimpse of the mind of Nonso Amadi. He is a regular relatable guy just like us who have loved and lost, probably battled loneliness and depression (an issue that is not widely discussed in African culture), and has found a voice through soulful New Age Afro beat music where he luxuriates. And it totally suits him as I cannot imagine a dope soul like Nonso Amadi singing upbeat club bangers like “Shoki”
When asked the biggest issue facing young people, he said “one of the biggest issue with young people is we’re often misguided…it could be misguided by friends, or influenced by the wrong type of music…” here’s another glimpse of the mind of this dope soul, he isn’t one to follow in the footsteps of the misguided masses. Rather, he’s trying to create his own lane and find himself through his music. He is not a rebel without a cause but a man with a clear focus.
On his artistry, Apple Music beautifully describes it like this: Nonso Amadi grew up during one of the golden ages for Lagos Afro beats, and he adopted the genre’s soft textured, vocal-focused traditions with ease. Early track shows a raw vulnerability, with his 2015 breakout hit “Tonight”, allowing unobtrusive synths to highlight his emotive voice, while in “No Crime”, tentative percussion underlies his heartbreaking lyrics.
Nonso Amadi’s distinct sound brings to mind other artists like Bryson Tiller, 6lack, Saba, Vic Mensa…but he is in a league all on his own. Just like Lana Del Rey created a whole musical universe for herself where she shines, Nonso Amadi is in a musical universe of his own and however long it takes the world to catch on, when they do, they will discover the music genius that is wrapped inside the mind of Nonso Amadi.

Your job, Academics or Side hustle: are you sloppy at work, or a slacker in school, or a fruitless hustler? Now’s a good time to get your act together. Set that alarm an hour early, meal prep the night before, attend that tutorial or seminar, research and learn you trade…if this area of your life is important to you, then it deserves a glow up.

Your circle: if you take a piece of rotten fruit and place it beside a perfectly good fruit… what happens? The mold from the rotten fruit spreads over the good fruit and soon both fruits end up bad. Now apply this to your life and take out all the bad fruits in it.

Self-development: chances are you’re a millennial brimming with hopes and dreams and you probably heard the world was promised to you, but if you don’t develop yourself, your gifts and abilities to match your opportunities, they will pass you by and you’d have no one to blame but yourself. Even if you’re past 30 you can still better yourself. Harrison Ford was a carpenter at 30 but look where he is now.
I’m sure there are more than three areas you can glow up in 2019. Take a cue from these and make your life better in this year and those to come