Today would have marked the 65th year of my parents’ enduring love story. Despite my father’s passing three years ago, their marriage remains a beacon of unwavering love, at times turbulent, flawed, yet profoundly resilient.

They endured more than most couples I know.

Perhaps the most significant hardship was losing their 11-year-old son, Emilio, my namesake, in Calgary, Alberta. He was killed by a drunk driver in 1974. Back then, drunk driving wasn’t treated as the crime it truly is. The 18-year-old driver was sentenced to serve weekends in jail for six months. My family received no reprieve. We carry a grief that never goes away.

And yet, my parents carried on. With three children left, they picked themselves up and, somehow, moved forward. Moving back to Naples, Italy, to bury their son next to my father’s parents and grandparents, they welcomed me in 1976, and my sister Maria two years later. Two daughters would never replace Emilio, but here we were.

We were raised in the shadow of that loss, but also in the glow of their fortitude. My father channeled his grief into hard work, starting a new pizzeria in basement of the house he built for our family near the cemetery. Years later, after a nearby devastating 1981 earthquake, my parents once again demonstrated their resilience, uprooting our lives and relocating us to Kelowna, B.C., a place I’ll always call home, no matter where I am.

There, they built a life around family and food. They poured themselves into Tony’s Pizzeria on Bernard Avenue, into the land they farmed in East Kelowna and Benvoulin Road, into the Kelowna Running Club, and into their Catholic faith and community.

My father’s last day at 86 was spent in the dirt, tending vegetables that fed us body and soul. He died in my sister Josephine’s arms, right after turning off the water to his garden. There is poetry in that ending.

Three years later, as I sit by my mother’s side during her hospital visits, I’m struck by the depth of their devotion. She wears his rings now, her hands arthritic from decades of labor, still faithful to her church, her community, her family. She is no longer able to wear her rings that are now too small. Instead, I wear them: a simple gold band she wore for 62 years and a diamond ring he gave her on one of their anniversaries. I rarely take them off and nervously twirl them when I am feeling anxious, upset, or unsure.

Their marriage was not perfect. They argued. They forgave. They resented. They loved. They chose, again and again, to hold on. That choice is what inspires me.

From their six decades together, I carry these lessons:

1. Don’t rush into marriage.

My parents met at 14 and 16 at the family cemetery in Italy. My dad left for New York soon after but promised to return. Five years later, he did. Lasting love will wait. If you’re in your 30s or beyond and still single, it’s okay. Better to know yourself first. After all, about 50% of marriages end in divorce, many before 30.

2. Money, status, and degrees don’t define a marriage.

Neither of my parents finished high school. They built a life through grit, devotion, and sacrifice. What mattered most wasn’t wealth or titles; it was the love and determination that held us through loss and hardship.

3. Change is inevitable.

Every decade brings transformation. At 22, 35, 42, and now 49, I’ve felt this in my own life. Careers shift. Children grow, stress, arguments, and financial challenges accumulate. Couples either grow together or they don’t. Change isn’t failure. It’s life.

4. Marriage isn’t for everyone.

Like friendships, marriages have seasons. Some get close to marriage, others refuse the commitment all together, some end, some endure. All choices deserve respect. Love isn’t measured solely by longevity.

5. Enduring love is a choice.

My parents’ marriage was far from smooth. It was a journey marked by hardships and challenges. Yet, they chose to stand by each other, even in the most trying times. No matter what, each night they ate together, even if in silence. It was their way. It may not be everyone’s, but it was theirs.

So today, I raise a quiet toast:

Un brindisi a mamma e papà!

Thank you for showing me that love and commitment are built through sacrifice and resilience, for enduring what most couldn’t, and for leaving behind roots that still ground and sustain us.

— Emilia D’Anzica, author of Pressing On as a Tech Mom, writing about customer experience and the real-life lessons that shape us.

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If this story resonated, I’d love for you to follow along and tap the clap button below. Most of all, I’d love to hear your own takeaway in the comments.

By Emilia D’Anzica, Managing Partner, Emilia Speaks CX

On January 30th, London hosted a vibrant Customer Conference that brought together Customer Success leaders, investors, and technology innovators from around the globe. The day featured hands-on workshops, thought-provoking panels, and networking opportunities. I had the opportunity to take center stage with three leaders in tech, sharing insights on AI-driven Customer Journeys, sustainable SaaS growth strategies, and the evolving tech funding landscape. Below are the key takeaways from this exciting event.

1. AI to Scale: Growth Molecules’ Customer Journey Workshop

One of the early highlights was the Customer Journey Workshop that I co-led with Annie Stefano. We guided attendees through an interactive session focused on using AI to scale Customer Success initiatives without sacrificing a personal touch.

• Mapping the Journey: Participants learned how to create detailed customer journey maps identifying critical touchpoints, such as onboarding, adoption milestones, and renewal timelines.
• AI-Powered Insights: We demonstrated how AI can track usage patterns, segment customer needs, and provide proactive alerts for risk or upsell opportunities. This blend of data-driven insights and human empathy resonated with the audience, who saw firsthand how automation can enhance relationships rather than replace them.
• Collaborative Breakout Sessions: Workshop attendees broke into smaller groups to apply these concepts to real-world scenarios. They brainstormed how to optimize journeys for new and existing customers using predictive analytics, chatbots, and personalized engagement strategies.

By the end of the workshop, participants were charged with actionable roadmaps for integrating AI into their customer journey initiatives, plus practical tips for aligning sales, product, and customer success around shared outcomes.

2. Navigating the New SaaS Landscape: Keynote Panel

In the morning, I joined a powerhouse keynote panel titled “Navigating the New SaaS Landscape: Sustainable Growth Amidst Funding Shifts and Structural Changes.” The panel was moderated by Peter Lyon, Co-Founder of The Customer Success Network, and featured:

• Alex Ferrara, Partner at Bessemer Ventures
• Dr. Kevin J. S., Head of Research & Design at Deloitte AI Institute

The discussion centered on how SaaS companies can continue to grow despite funding challenges, rising customer expectations, and ongoing market fluctuations. Key themes included:

• Sustainable Growth: The panel emphasized Net Revenue Retention (NRR) and customer-centric product development as crucial metrics for healthy SaaS businesses.
• Intentional Innovation: Dr. Kevin J. S. highlighted the role of AI in capturing real-time customer data. Emilia underscored the importance of balancing automation with human connection — reminding the audience that trust is built through meaningful engagement.
• Funding Realities: Alex Ferrara provided the VC perspective, pointing out that while venture funding may tighten, companies with demonstrable unit economics and a clear path to profitability will continue to attract capital.

Our conversation highlighted how Customer Success can lead to transformative change. SaaS organizations can weather uncertainty by focusing on retention, expansion, and high-value customer relationships and position themselves for long-term success.

3. Customer Success is Not Going Away: The Role in SaaS is Changing

Customer Success is not going away in 2025 — instead, it is evolving into a more revenue-focused function, deeply embedded within the go-to-market (GTM) strategy. As SaaS companies prioritize efficiency and expansion, CS is no longer just about retention and satisfaction; it is now a key driver of revenue growth through expansion, upsells, and cross-sells. With tighter budgets and heightened expectations for profitability, CS leaders are being held accountable for measurable financial impact, aligning more closely with sales, marketing, and product teams to drive customer lifetime value (CLV). This shift requires a stronger emphasis on data, automation, and AI-driven insights to proactively identify opportunities and mitigate churn. In 2025, Customer Success is no longer a cost center — it is a revenue engine.

If you need help with your Customer Strategy in B2B SaaS, reach out! I help companies transform their client experience while increasing company revenue. Emilia@emiliaspeakscx.com.

I took a week off work for the first time in 4 1/2 years since founding Growth Molecules: no meetings, plenty of sleep, and regular exercise.

While I checked emails and Slack in the mornings and evenings, I spent the rest of my time on a much-needed family getaway to my birth country. The experience was rejuvenating — a chance to recharge and reflect on the intersection of customer experience (CX) and personal growth.

Here are my Top Three Takeaways:

1. Customer Experience (CX) in 2025: It’s All About the Feeling

Regardless of industry, CX will become an even bigger focus in 2025. If you work in CX, you can’t help but notice the details — especially at restaurants, hotels, and car rental services. In today’s highly competitive world, customers have choices, and how they feel after an interaction often drives those decisions.

I’m still replaying the moments that delighted me throughout our journey while quickly forgetting the rest. That’s the power of exceptional CX: it creates lasting impressions that keep customers returning.

Takeaway: Businesses that prioritize delight over mere functionality will win in 2025.

2. Leadership Sets the Tone for CX

Negative leaders create negative cultures, and this inevitably impacts the customer experience. During my trip, I paid close attention to how restaurant, hotel, and store managers interacted with their employees versus customers. The best leaders were those who supported their teams, especially during the highly stressful holiday season. They fostered an atmosphere of “we will get through this and win” rather than creating toxic environments.

You don’t need to speak the same language to understand the difference between a manager who leads positively and someone who communicates with superiority, doubt, or hostility. Positive leadership improves employee morale and enhances the customer’s overall experience.

Takeaway: In 2025, empathetic and supportive leadership will be key to creating exceptional CX.

3. Reflection Fuels Growth — Personally and Professionally

Amid the chaos of daily life, it’s easy to get lost in endless to-do lists. But carving out time to reflect on what went well and what needs improvement is invaluable. During my trip, I had the chance to finish a book, write, and think deeply about the year behind me. It was therapeutic.

I encourage everyone to spend at least 15 minutes a day reflecting before diving into work or moving from one task to another. This small investment of time can lead to clearer priorities, better decisions, and a more focused approach to challenges.

A book I recommend to help with this is ‘Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals’ by Oliver Burkeman. It offers a refreshing perspective on how we spend our limited time and the value of mindfulness.

Takeaway: Make reflection a daily practice to enhance your personal growth and professional impact in 2025.

As we move into a new year, let’s remember the lessons from 2024. Prioritize the customer’s emotional journey, lead with empathy, and make time for self-reflection. These principles not only drive business success but also foster personal fulfillment.

Here’s to making 2025 a year of growth, connection, and excellence in customer experience!

Former YouTube CEO and Google executive Susan Wojcicki’s passing at age 56 was an abrupt reminder of how short our time on earth is — yet how much we can accomplish during the days we are gifted with. Although I didn’t know Wojcicki, she was a role model to me and a force in tech that so many people looked up to. The accomplished mother of five faced a 2-year battle with lung cancer. She tragically lost her 19-year-old son at Berkeley to an accidental drug overdose months before. I am not far behind Susan in age.

As a parent, many of you can relate to the fear and uncertainty of sending a child to college. Susan’s hardships and untimely death are experiences we all grapple with, and they weighed heavily on my mind as I journeyed back from Canada, my second home.

In Canada, I spent time with my 85-year-old mother, sisters, brother, and UBC alum friends there. Experiencing my mother’s slower pace, even if active and alert, was another reminder of life’s fragility. Losing my dad two years ago, this August 15th, impacted us all but perhaps her most as she spent 63 years of her life with Papa.

On July 26th of this year, my family marked my brother Emilio’s 50th death anniversary when a drunk driver hit him while crossing the street at 11 years old. Each moment together is a heightened experience, knowing I can’t pick up the phone and hear either of my parents’ voices one day.

Celebrating 30 years since I graduated from King George High School in Vancouver, Canada, was another reminder of aging and why I want to start living with even more purpose-driven decisions. Some of the people I graduated with are no longer alive. Others are living in hardships, while others have achieved great things. Going back to high school brought back memories and hopes for the future.

Spending time with my University bestie, Karey was another heartfelt experience in Vancouver. I remembered the years we spent nearly inseparable at UBC and how our lives have twisted and turned since then. We have chosen different paths and careers but are permanently bonded.

The recent passing of Karey’s mom, Marlane, and my dad, Antonio, has brought us closer. Karey gifted me two of her mom’s rings and a necklace with a Ruby (my birthstone) 3rd-eye. As I write this reflection, this set, which I’m wearing, serves as a poignant reminder of the deep connections and memories we create with the people who matter most in our lives. The Ruby, a symbol of love, energy, and passion, now serves as a physical reminder to cherish each day and each relationship with intention and gratitude.

These moments of reflection serve as a powerful reminder of the value of living authentically and purposefully. Life’s unpredictability teaches us not to take time for granted. Susan Wojcicki’s passing, the memory of our parents, my brother Emilio, and the recent time spent with my mother, siblings, and friends all underscore the need to live fully, love deeply, and contribute meaningfully to the world.

As my daughter prepares to embark on her college journey, I’m reminded of the cyclical nature of life. Her excitement and apprehension mirror my feelings of sending her off into the world where she will begin to carve out her path. It’s a poignant moment blending pride and a bittersweet acknowledgment of the passage of time.

These reflections contemplate mortality and call us to action. They urge me—and perhaps you, too—to assess how we spend our time, how we show up for others, and how we can make a lasting impact in our own unique ways. Life is fleeting, but the potential for incredible richness, depth, and fulfillment lies within its brevity.

So, as I land back to a place I now call home (The San Francisco Bay Area), I do so with a renewed sense of purpose. I’m committed to living more intentionally, nurturing the relationships that matter most, and contributing positively to the world in every way possible. Because, in the end, it’s not the length of our lives that matters but the depth of the lives we live.

PS. If you enjoyed this reflection — take a moment to clap below. Each one counts for writers on Medium, and I appreciate you reading to the end.

What does it take to reach a fourth business anniversary that was started four months after COVID-19 shut the world down?

I reflect on the journey and the invaluable lessons learned along the way.

These lessons have shaped how we serve our clients and molded me as a leader and a person. I want to share these insights with our readers in hopes that they will find inspiration and practical advice for their personal, career, and entrepreneurial journeys.

I. Get Out of Your Head to Get Over Your Fear

Fear is a natural part of any new venture. It can be paralyzing, whether the fear of the unknown, failure or not good enough. When Growth Molecules was first launched, doubts and apprehensions were looming. However, I quickly realized that if I didn’t try, I would never know if my ideas were worth sharing.

How You Can Learn From This:

Acknowledge Your Fear: Don’t ignore or suppress your doubts. Understand the ‘why’ behind the existing anxiety. For me, it was a recent experience as an executive. For me, two months into a CCO role, I laid off more than half of my team (one of the most difficult actions I have taken in my 20+ years in tech), and 30 days later, I was fired as well. The self-doubt and insecurity that resulted were immense, and I had to acknowledge the experience head-on, including everything that I feared about repeating in any future role. Overcoming this rejection was a critical part of getting out of my head.

Take Small Steps: Break down goals into manageable, achievable daily tasks. Three intentional actions are more impactful than 10 mediocre steps. Progress, however slight, makes the more significant goal less intimidating and allows you to build confidence as you achieve each step.

Seek Support: Talk to mentors, friends, and colleagues. You don’t have to agree with or accept everyone’s advice. Choose what viewpoints foster your mission and toss the rest. Today, apps like CALM and BetterHelp can help virtually as well to find inner strength and get emotional support affordably. Trying anything new with a guaranteed income is lonely. Having help along the growth journey is powerful — something to be proud of seeking, not avoiding.

II. Accept That Failure is Part of the Process

Failure is inevitable, but it is also an essential part of growth. During our first few years, we faced numerous setbacks. Instead of viewing them as roadblocks, we saw them as learning opportunities. Each failure and each opportunity we lost taught us something new and pushed us to improve and try again.

How You Can Learn From This:

Reframe Your Mindset: View failure as a stepping stone rather than a dead end. Each setback is a lesson in disguise if you shift your mindset and seek key learnings in what went wrong.

Analyze and Adapt: Take the time to understand why you failed. What can you do differently next time? Adapt your strategies accordingly.

Stay Resilient. Persistence is key. Keep pushing forward, even when the going gets tough. That may mean taking a break. I find walking away from my desk, going for a hike or bike ride, or reading something fictional helps me be more focused when it is time to come back and try again.

III. Lean on the People Around You and the Apps Out There to Support You

No business thrives in isolation. The support of a strong team and the right tools can make all the difference. At Growth Molecules, our success is a testament to the incredible consultants who bring their expertise and passion to the table and the technology streamlining our operations.

How You Can Learn From This:

Build a Strong Network: Surround yourself with people who support and challenge you. Their insights and encouragement are invaluable.

Leverage Technology: Use apps and tools that enhance productivity and communication. Project management tools, CRM systems, and collaborative platforms can significantly boost efficiency.

Delegate: Trust your team with responsibilities. Delegation eases your burden and empowers your team to grow and contribute meaningfully.

IV. Start With Believing in Yourself, Even if You Are Your WORST CRITIC.

Self-belief is the foundation of any successful endeavor — whether it is motherhood, leading a team, starting a company, or trying a new profession. You don’t need a title to believe in who you are and want to become.

There were moments when Growth Molecules’ future seemed uncertain, but our unwavering self-belief in our team as a whole and the knowledge and experience we bring to companies kept us moving forward.

Believing in your vision and abilities is crucial for overcoming challenges and seizing opportunities.

How You Can Learn From This:

You Can Develop Self-Confidence: We all carry imposter syndrome when trying something new. Remind yourself that excellence comes with practice. Write down your strengths and how your past achievements will influence your present and future self. Use them as fuel to propel you forward.

Set Clear Goals: Having a clear vision and set goals helps maintain focus and motivation.

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. We spend too much time feeling bad about everything that has gone wrong and worrying about what may go wrong; instead, carving out time for positive reflection reinforces our belief in our abilities and keeps us motivated.

A Heartfelt Thank You

As we celebrate this milestone, I want to thank the incredible consultants on the Growth Molecules Consulting Group— your dedication, expertise, and passion are the backbone of our success. Each of you brings something unique to the table; together, we have built something remarkable. Thank you for your hard work, commitment, and unwavering belief in our mission.

A special shout-out to Sabina Pons, our managing director, my co-author of Pressing On As a Tech Mom (which we wrote during the COVID-19 years), and now one of my best friends.

To all our clients, thank you for trusting us with your business needs and allowing us to join your growth journey.

Your success is our greatest reward.

Here’s to the next chapter of Growth Molecules. May we continue to help clients and each other grow, learn, and succeed.

Visit GrowthMolecules.com to learn more about customer success and what we do at Growth Molecules.

You can find me on LinkedIn, where I continuously share our latest learnings and best practices in Customer Success.

If you enjoyed this reflection — take a moment to clap. Each one counts. Thank you!

The Unseen Influence: How Our Actions Shape the Next Generation**

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This past weekend, my oldest daughter graduated from high school. During her dinner celebration, I stood up and gave a heartfelt speech to friends and family who helped us raise Ava. Halfway through the event, she stood up and surprised us with her own speech. As I listened, I watched her hands move and her tone change, expressing deep emotion. Like any mother, I beamed with pride, remembering each word and reflecting on how fast these 18 years had flown by.

Not long before the graduation, our youngest daughter sat me and my partner down to present the need to move her horse to a new barn, sharing all the benefits that would result. Again, her hands moved, and her expressions matched her convincing arguments. Despite the barn being farther away from us, the amenities and opportunities outweighed the cons, and Elliot is now thriving in his new home.

These moments remind us that our children and the people around us are always watching, whether consciously or not. The words we use, how we show up, how we spend our time — these all influence and have more power than we know, even when we aren’t paying attention. I think of my parents and how much they influenced me without even knowing it.

My obsession with planting seeds and watching them grow into beautiful plants, my love of creating family events and cooking high-quality food, and my curiosity about other people and cultures — being different and drumming to my beat — are all the result of my parents. They left Italy and started a life on their own. They didn’t care what others thought of them or what others were doing; they focused on doing what they loved and living in a new country with their six children. I grew up working alongside them in their pizzeria, and those days watching my parents work hard, growing their food, giving joy to the restaurant patrons, and developing relationships — they all influence my actions today.

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### The Power of Influence

Our children learn more from our actions than our words. The simple, everyday things we do can leave a lasting impression on them. Here are some powerful ways to positively influence your children:

1. **Lead by Example**: Show them what it means to work hard, be kind, and stay curious.
2. **Be Present**: Spend quality time with them. Your presence speaks volumes.
3. **Encourage Their Passions**: Support their interests, no matter how different they may be from your own.
4. **Practice Gratitude**: Teach them to appreciate the small things in life.

### A Call to Action

This weekend, take a moment to reflect on how you are influencing those around you. Your actions, big or small, can shape the next generation. What legacy are you leaving for your children?

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By sharing personal stories and reflecting on the broader implications of our actions, we can connect with our readers on a deeper level. Let’s inspire each other to be mindful of our influence and use it to impact the world positively.

— — — — — If you can resonate with this reflection, share a clap below.

I started the new year by taking an incredibly risky five days off work to go to Esalen Institute, where people from all over the world seek more purpose for whatever they are grappling with.

To embark on such a journey requires extreme vulnerability — take it from a girl who grew up in a large Catholic Italian Immigrant Family.

It’s been a month since I left the center in Big Sur, California, but the experience hasn’t left me.

Here are the top three takeaways I keep at the forefront of each day:

1. You can’t solve all your life problems - your company, community, the world. Start with one. Work on it each day.

It matters, even if it is just a few minutes a day focusing on one change. Imagine what it will amount to after 1 year — compound that by 5…10, and more.

2. Meditation is more powerful than one realizes at first. I was skeptical when I first started meditating at a Buddhist Center in the Mission District in San Francisco. The ability to focus, listen to oneself, and reset is hard, and that’s why so many people avoid being still.

Starting each day without a phone, focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and inner voice can transform how you treat yourself and others by shifting your mindset.

3. A week’s retreat from the rat race is only the beginning. Working from home hasn’t made our lives better — if anything, it’s made Big Brother, the guilt for stepping away from your desk, even more powerful.

A reset is a powerful reminder that life is short. If you are in a hamster wheel, as one CEO I am working with puts it, it’s not too late to get out.

A 1-minute meditation each morning before you do anything else or a simple pause at the end of each day to reflect can change your life.

What are you waiting for?

Nothing to Do. Nowhere to Go.

According to NPR, most people who make New Year’s resolutions ‘to create a better version of themselves’ abandon them by February. Is anyone already in this fabricated sinking boat?

Are you feeling like a failure 13 days in?

There can be another way to experience a new year and struggle to commit to change.

While I have not kept true to all my intentions that I prepared for the new year, I’ve stayed dedicated to small steps toward transformation. I’ll share the five goals I set with you and explain why I am OK with my progress and why you should consider retrying or delaying some of yours instead of abandoning them altogether.

You set your intentions for a reason. Throwing the aspirations away will only make you feel worse than not having tried in the first place.

Instead of beating myself for not being perfect in my achievements these past 13 days, I favor the following mindset:

Perfect is boring. If you think someone is always perfect, you are fooling yourself. We have imperfections, and that is what keeps us interesting.

Instead, consider persistence over perfection. We all have setbacks — some that keep us up all night, some that hold us back from greatness.

Persistence is progress despite the everyday complexity of our lives.

The feeling of saying, “I did it,” is euphoric, and over time, the happiness factor compounds with each new step you take — remember — life is a journey — the end is not as meaningful as all the people you meet and all the learnings you have along the way.

Here are my goals and how I am progressing toward each.

Goal 1: My first goal is to write for pleasure daily — even if it is just a sentence.

It’s January 13th, and I’ve skipped a few days already! This blog you are reading is my first Medium article of the year. I am OK with this because

1. 13 is my favorite number, and

2. I spent this past week traveling and working on my 2nd goal of the year, which required all of me to work for 10+ hours a day.

By permitting myself to delay my writing, I can spend much of this rainy Sonoma day writing to make up for missed reflections. This shift in mindset lifts my mood and influences the tone of my prose.

What have you skipped this year that you can pick up today and feel good about revisiting, this time with a shift in your mindset?

Goal 2: Overcoming Guilt

I have always loved exercising and pushing myself physically and mentally, but I feel deflated and exhausted occasionally. For example, when I learned about the proposal, I spent countless hours writing it. It was rejected, and a competitor was selected over me. Being as competitive as I am makes this news even more bitter.

Or when I skip that 5:30 am spin or yoga class. After a 10-hour day, the kids ask when dinner will be ready, and I have yet to start — at that point, there is no way I am getting to the gym at 7 pm or later!

This year, instead of feeling guilty for skipping one of my favorite pastimes, I am committed to at least doing push-ups or 10-minute walks if I cannot convince myself to be as physically active as I want to be that day. When I have long days with clients, especially when I travel, finding time to work out is hard; identifying activities that are easy to incorporate into my routine helps.

I often use the 7 Min App in my hotel room if there isn’t a gym nearby, and while seven minutes might seem like too little, any exercise is good for your heart and mind. You can customize it and make the routines as long as you like. The best part- it’s free!

What do you love to do but feel guilty about? Can you pick it up today? More than two weeks are left in January and 11 months after that to make it a daily routine!

Goal 3: The third goal is reading with more intention.

I recently read Stolen Focus, and its impact on me is profound. While I listen to or read several books yearly, I admit to resorting to speed reading or listening at 2x speed. I also don’t always turn off distractions. Reading at a pace where I can absorb everything on the page and pause to think about how the words apply to my life is a different experience. So far, I have listened to one book in this new focused way, at 1.5x and pausing it to write down reflections, and with my phone on silent in 2024.

The result: I enjoy the practice more fully, and the lack of distractions doesn’t tempt my mind to wander as much. Many of us are losing the ability to read uninterrupted, but we can relearn this rewarding skill.

What will you turn off this year so you can more fully enjoy activities you once loved in your life?

Goal 4: The fourth is practicing Radical Candor with Empathy.

Last year, I was invited to be on The Empathy Edge Podcast with leading Empathy expert Maria Ross to discuss the power of Empathy in Customer Success. Applying empathy to conversations while being direct and clear can be more complicated than it sounds, especially if you care about someone and what you say may be received as offensive.

Saying what you think the other person wants to hear or putting off conversations is doing you and them a disservice. This year, I am choosing to be direct, saying no when something doesn’t feel like a win-win, ethical, or what is suitable for me is OK. So far, I am doing OK with this goal, but at times, I can feel my anxiety rising because I know the next few minutes are going to be unpleasant.

Life isn’t always pleasant, but being authentic will ease the pain. The older you get, the more people you lose. Don’t let a day pass without saying ‘I’m sorry,’ having that conversation you have been putting off for days, months, and years. Money, titles, and material comfort aren’t the path to happiness if you are untrue to yourself and those around you.

Practicing being your authentic self and learning to say no to what is no longer suitable for your mental and physical self will open new doors.

People who genuinely love you will accept you for your whole self.

What are you holding inside that you want to say no to?

Some ideas to help you with authenticity and difficult conversations:

1. Read this book — it’s free to listen to or read at any library: Radical Candor by Kim Scott. It changed my life and how I speak.
2. Start applying The Empathy Edge to your conversations. You can be kind and direct without hurting others. Tone, word selection, body language — it all impacts your message.
3. Practice saying no to someone you trust. Start by writing out your script and practicing in front of a mirror — probably the safest place, right? No one to judge you but you.

Practice with the premise that you will not pass judgement.

When it is time to take this step toward authenticity, you will realize it isn’t hard and can cause significant feelings of anxiety.

Goal 5: The fifth is becoming a more articulate speaker.

I had an experience a while back that left me doubting my interest in getting on stage again. So, I did the unthinkable and signed up for an intense speaking program. Immersing myself in a room of intelligence, motivation, and accomplishment is intimidating. They all have unique life stories they want to share with the world — one is an accomplished 1st generation Air Force Pilot, while another had a near-death experience at a young age that changed her life forever. Another is a renowned paid speaker who wants to improve just as much as I do. This program taught me that we all desire to improve continuously but often put off improvement out of fear.

We all have a story that only we can tell, and you have a distinctive one, too. How you communicate is how people relate to your narrative. You can begin by having the courage to start with one story that impacted your life.

Getting out of your daily routine and taking what may feel like scary steps is a gift; I urge you in 2024 to explore your lingering curiosity. We all have something on the back of our minds that we wish we tried when we were younger.

What’s stopping you now?

Ready to rethink your failures two weeks into the new year?

A shift in mindset doesn’t have to start on January 1st of any year. It can start today. Make this the best year of your life, with one positive affirmation at a time.

Motivation Monday with two takeaways from the Barbie movie and hard weekend workouts that can apply to any professional seeking to enhance their mindset, career, and customer relationships:

I took advantage of the great Sonoma Country weather this weekend and hit my workout regime hard. I also announced to my three kids and partner that we would see Barbie! Sitting still for two hours isn’t usually part of my day, but I needed to understand the hype, and Barbie didn’t disappoint!

Here are my top two reflections coming out of the weekend and starting my week with an extra bounce in my step:

1. Humans Need 12 Hugs a Day — even the Mattel CEO in the Barbie movie breaks down and confesses he wants to tickle people and be tickled sometimes — he’s tired of the pressure! He doesn’t entirely give into a hug one associate offers (that would be too much for a CEO, right?) but displays that regardless of a person’s title, we are human at the end of the day.

The connection a hug or eye contact can offer may seem random, but it’s powerful! Ask Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist, who famously declares after years of research,

“We need four hugs daily for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

How you make a person feel is evident on video calls, in person, email, Slack, text, and/or phone. People can sense if you are genuinely present, annoyed, distracted, curious, and uncomfortable — to name a few emotions.

Often, client managers tell me they have imposter syndrome when meeting with an executive — especially when talking about renewals and expansion. If you remember that even C-titles are human and imagine hugging them, it will put you at more ease for that following executive business review you are leading.

2. ‘Learn To Love the Suck to Win’

What? Hint: This is another tool to help you overcome uncomfortable situations like a renewal meeting.

I am religious about pushing my physical self on the weekends, which often means going to bed early and going a long bike ride, hiking, or hitting a challenging gym class before the kids wake up.

My Sunday HIIT class coach, a former top triathlete & now a gym owner, yelled across the blaring music and right into my ear as I collapsed into another pushup —

‘Learn to love the suck to win!’

This early Sunday morning test in mind over body is my favorite class. Each time I take it, I am sore Monday morning, but in a good way. I know I pushed myself past what I thought was possible; if I can do it once, I can do it repeatedly.

After the class, Ted told me he would write this mantra across his arm the morning of each race he was about to start, and when he wanted to quit, his arm would remind him that overcoming the hard stuff is mind over matter.

What’s your mantra on your arm that keeps you going when you want to give up?

Practicing repeatedly, being okay with feelings of failure, and not giving up is what, traditionally, only the top few in each profession persist in doing. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

At Growth Molecules, we pride ourselves on embracing discomfort to improve as customer-facing professionals. In our classes, we teach the power of trying new ideas with colleagues, being okay with failure, and learning from each uncomfortable situation or call gone wrong — we’ve all had them. If only I had this training in the first 10 years of my career! Customer Success (CS) professionals didn’t receive this training in the early 2000s. CS was an afterthought, and Sales was king, receiving all the ‘soft skills training’ back then.

Luckily, training is now vital across professions, and leaders realize that CS Managers especially need to be equipped with skills to lead difficult conversations. Gaining confidence from the discomfort helps future customer engagements improve. Just like a physical muscle, you have to practice the communication muscle. No matter what level you are in your career, you can improve. Now is a great time to start flexing the power to enhance that one skill you know you can level up with a little practice and discipline.

Here is to a Motivated Monday where you can:

1. Offer more empathy in your communication by being more present and curious. You don’t have to hug someone to show you care (it may make someone uncomfortable receiving a hug out of the blue if you don’t know them well)! You are already ahead in your communication practice by listening and focusing on the conversation instead of turning your attention to that Slack pinging you.

2. Push yourself to learn and practice a new skill to gain more confidence. Practice with a friend. Listen back to the call. Get out of your comfort zone!

Communication skills were once labeled soft skills — Soft they are no more — they are essential skills companies teach at their sales and customer success kickoff events, skills leaders seek to improve, and failure is part of the equation leading to success.

— —

PS. I gladly offer hugs to most people I meet — if you’ve met me in person, you probably already know ;-).

When my children were younger, I spent weekdays in the office as they grew up with little daily interaction with me. It was no surprise that my youngest would cry for her grandma on weekends as she was not used to relying on me for everyday care; it was heartbreaking for any mom to experience. When I left the corporate culture after a fulfilling 20-year career, it was ‘weird’ for my children to have me around so much. Suddenly I became their dependable chauffeur, volunteered regularly, attended all school events, and became the loudest cheerleader in the crowd. They knew me as a start-up tech mom, present to cook dinner, read books, and tuck them into bed if and when I didn’t fall asleep before them.

Since starting my own company, my relationship with my children has drastically changed. The challenges of integrating work and parenthood remain, however,

I am grateful to my clients who allow me to navigate my career and family successfully. What hasn’t changed is my travel schedule. As a management consultant and educator, I have been on more planes than I care to remember. I love the experience of live interactions and the opportunity to lead a customer journey mapping workshop in person, which entails working away from home.

So how do I manage traveling and being a mom who has overcome the travel work blues (aka Guilt)? It isn’t easy, but here are the top three tips that have helped me to ensure you make the most of your stress-free travel:

1. Secure reliable childcare: This sounds like a no-brainer, but leaving children at home with someone you trust is essential; with it, you will be more present and committed to your work. It will be more costly to hire someone to help you if you don’t have family nearby, but I justify the cost — for my sanity’s sake (and my family’s)! Ensure you write a list with directions to manage the entire day, and in cases of emergency during your absence — walk the person through each ask; it sounds excessive but crucial. My partner often travels for work, too, so writing up children’s schedules, dietary restrictions, amount of allowable screen time, homework requirements, backup support, and so forth is vital when we are both away simultaneously. A friend once confided she didn’t feel comfortable leaving her baby behind while traveling and asked her company for compensation to bring her child and nanny along. The company recognized her value and picked up the tab. This action leads to company loyalty; however, not all companies are as accommodating, and why securing quality childcare is essential.
2. Be Prepared: 80% of your success is by planning, and 20% is execution. This applies not only to your work life but also to your one. I plan my schedule on Sunday night, and this typically keeps me on top of my game for the week. Life will invariably throw a curveball or two, but being prepared allows me to reshuffle my priorities quickly and without feeling overwhelmed. I recently traveled to Boca Raton, Florida, to co-lead a workshop with a colleague. By the time the event arrived, we had rehearsed and revised numerous times until we knew each other’s queues and could anticipate what would happen next. This practice allowed us to start and finish on time, pivot when the music wouldn’t start, and lead without any jitters we may have had otherwise. Prepare, prepare, prepare — you will free up so much time typically spent rattled, rushing, and regretting.
3. Lose the Guilt: I returned yesterday from a 3-day business trip and planned it to incorporate ample pool time, maintain my rigorous workout schedule, explore and enjoy my new surroundings, and still feel connected with my family, colleagues, and clients.

Coming back to a busy household isn’t as daunting now — 3 kids (2 teens starting school this week!); a disabled dog that is glued to my hip and often disrupts my Zoom meetings; a house under construction; a garden in the heart of the growing season that needs constant attention; and a vacation rental that keeps me busy on the weekends.

I encourage tech moms who have the opportunity to accept jobs that travel. It is liberating — take advantage of exploring new scenery, meeting new people, and rewarding yourself with activities you enjoy. Going home will give you a new perspective on life and a gratitude reminder — incorporating travel for work is more complicated when you have children; however, by cultivating good childcare support, preparing practices that support working moms, and losing any feeling of shame, you can better integrate career and family life more fully — and without the guilt.

If you like this article of encouragement, share some Medium love: Clap, comment, and connect withme on Linkedin, where I am continuously sharing about being a Tech Mom who is PressingOn in Customer Success.