It was a beautiful Tuesday morning last October. I quickly went for a 30 minute jog, listened to The Daily, New York Times podcast episode for the day and began to pack my teal green carry-on suitcase as I had done every week for the better part of a year as a Customer Success Manager for my employer. I trained teachers, I met with Superintendents I did whatever new and “innovative” campaign work was necessary to make the most of our customers’ relationship with our organization. After folding my dress I heard the chime of Outlook notification and realized I had been asked to join a meeting at 10:30 am. As a remote employee I usually had a very good sense of who I would meet with during the day, or who might make a quick last minute request of my time. So, I quickly scan the list of attendees to get a sense of who else might be participating in this “Organizational changes” meeting; as it was titled and after a glance I knew the outcome could be pretty bad the group seemed to be a mix of team members from sub groups in my department, no particular rhyme or reason.

The panic set in as I dialed-in, this wouldn’t be my very first lay-off or downsizing. This would however, be the first in my twelve years as an employee that I was so diligently dedicated to the “work” that I missed important holiday and family gatherings and de-prioritized my personal time to be the model contributor. This would be the first time that I sincerely gave every ounce of “my all” to make a difference in the work! Nonetheless, I dialed in and muted my phone. A strange voice began “ As you know there have been many changes across the organization over the past few months and …. I couldn’t really hear what was going on as I was the only team member “dialed-in” and someone connected me to the room via their personal cellphone, some business about not having a room with a polycom or something. I then heard thank you for your contributions… today is your last day with the company. That probably isn’t what was said. I’m certain that’s what I deduced through the spotty connection and the oddly deafening silence in the room filled with people, some who have worked for the company a lot longer than my paltry one year seven month tenure. In common multitasking fashion, I began confirming my travel itinerary and revising decks for my scheduled meetings on the road after logging onto “THE CALL” as if I were experiencing some strange cognitive dissonance, pre-wired to prep for the next “work thing” when the reality was I was actively being relieved of my responsibilities. I awkwardly spoke up into the cellphone likely sitting on a conference room table amidst a room of equally stunned and disappointed coworkers, I said “ I haven’t received a separation agreement because access to the network has been disabled, might you send the document to my personal e-mail address?” In my mind, this was a shit show of the highest order. I was annoyed! My partner and I submitted an offer to purchase my first house not 48 hours before this circus unfolded. I am good. I am very good at what I do. I give it my all. I contributed to this organization in ways untold. I worked on the non-promote-able tasks because, foolish or not the goal is meet the milestone, launch the thing, be scrappy not worry about who sees your contributions do and they will know. That morning it all flooded into a sea of ambivalence, feeling overlooked, expendable, maybe even a little worthless?

I exchanged my goodbyes with the HR personnel coordinating the meeting and walked out of house and onto the porch to breathe fresh air for just a few minutes. Now what? My phone lit up with calls from fellow co-workers, letting me know they would support me. “Not to worry, you’ll find something!” Honestly, I didn’t care. I didn’t want to start looking for a new thing, new humans to get to know, hands to shake, industry to study and understand. I don’t want it. My mind went into full toddler mode “ NO, NO, NO!”

After my minor/major meltdown I began preparing for the next steps, spruced my resume, sent e-mails to recruiters, created a goal chart about my desired next thing and stayed in close communication with a few people who in my opinion had the “juice” the ability to make things happen! I even reached out to the Outplacement firm the organization contracted with, their purpose is to help assist the ousted few in their transition to a new career. I really didn’t know what to expect. My experience left much to be desired. After e-mail tag with the “coordinator” for the account as she refers to it in her e-mail I never received any follow-up on feedback about my resume, or information about how to connect with local offices to help me begin my job search. I eventually relied solely on my personal network and a “spray and pray method” of applying to seemingly suitable roles via various job board and found a role some weeks later.

As an elder millennial and a child of the recession I am no stranger to underemployment, contract work, staffing firm involvement and I have so many friends, acquaintances and colleagues who have had similarly earth shattering experiences that take a toll mentally, physically, financially. It feels like there is a MASSIVE opportunity to change the “aftermath experience” to one of opportunity with a more intentional and guided approach. I believe this so passionately that I after four years of toying with the idea have began pro-typing a start-up to prepare us humans for the ever changing tide of work. Resilience doesn’t come natural for everyone, sharpening and developing skills isn’t always at arms reach for those who wish to seek it, the world of work is so rapidly metamorphosing that so many are at risk of being downsized, collateral damage of Reduction in Force or any other talent strategy terminology that means “you need to find your next life sustaining thing”.

Despite my personal experiences or perhaps in light of them I am optimistic that providing a holistic approach to career navigation, and leveraging the massive talent pool of career coaches worldwide I have an opportunity to really prepare people for the often changing and ever evolving world of work.

Follow me on my journey to change things over at thecareer-factory.com and on social Instagram: @the.careerfactory