I love the Message translation of the Matthew 10:7–8, which reads:

Jesus sent his twelve harvest hands out with this charge: “Don’t begin by traveling to some far-off place to convert unbelievers. And don’t try to be dramatic by tackling some public enemy. Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood. Tell them that the kingdom is here. Bring health to the sick. Raise the dead. Touch the untouchables. Kick out the demons. You have been treated generously, so live generously.

That last sentence in the New King James Version reads:

And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.

“Freely you have received, freely give.”

I had always understood this to mean that one should give generously at all times, recognizing that one has received much. But a subtler meaning to this familiar passage occurred to me this morning.

It could also mean to “give without strings attached”. Have you ever received something from someone — it could be a friend, a boss, a parent, or someone else — that induced feelings of guilt, and made you feel like you had no choice but to reciprocate, not out of love, but out of obligation? Gifts that generate these feelings, may not be gifts at all, but merely “investments” or “exchanges”.

I noticed this dynamic often through society. Someone gives a gift — say, money, or a car, or some other favor — with the expectation that the recipient would bow their will, their plans, or their life choices to the giver. This behavior comes across as controlling and manipulative, and God doesn’t operate that way. This is not “freely giving”. And the receiver is not “freely receiving”, because now they feel the burden of a debt that they may never be able to repay. It’s emotional blackmail.

How can one avoid this quandry?

1. Recognize that God owns everything. We own nothing; we are merely stewards, or managers, of the vast array of gifts and talents that He has given us to multiply and distribute.
2. Allow God to lead you in your giving. He prizes a cheerful giver, so if you feel like you are being manipulated to give, pray to God and ask His will concerning your giving. Each of you should give as you have decided in your heart to give. You should not be sad when you give, and you should not give because you feel forced to give. God loves the person who gives happily. (2 Corinthians 9:7, NCV)
3. When you do receive, receive with a sense of gratitude and humility. Avoid receiving with a sense of entitlement, or “they owed it to me”. Simply receive, thank God for His many blessings, and even say a simple prayer for the giver (even if they are giving with the nefarious motives mentioned above.)
4. If God instructs you NOT to give something, or NOT to receive something, listen and obey that impression. Obedience to the still, small Voice is absolutely crucial. He knows the end from the beginning, and He sees all. He sees everyone’s heart in the matter, and He knows EXACTLY what a person needs far better than we do.

I remember a time in my 20s when I was attending a church in my hometown. A couple visited the church, and they had various needs (financial, transportation, employment, etc. ) We invited them to attend our life group that Sunday evening. They offered to host the life group in their apartment, so we all planned to meet there.

I went home, and the thought occurred to me that I had a very nice bicycle that I was not using, and I could give it to the couple, hopefully helping them with their need for transportation in the short-term. I cleaned the bike up, and was going to load it in my car, when my brother (who suffered with schizophrenia at the time) stood in front of me, and went into one of his fits. He was yelling something unintelligible at me, and he refused to allow me to pass by him with the bike on the walkway from the porch to open the gate. This was my bike, that I purchased. I was very frustrated by this, and I ended up leaving the bike at home, and going to the life group, slightly late, and very upset that I had nothing to give the new couple that was hosting the life group.

As I sat in relative silence during the life group, somehow it was revealed that the male host of the life group was actually a cocaine addict, that he was not trying to find work, and that he actually goes to different churches taking what he can get. Inside, I was astonished, and thankful to God. He used my mentally unstable brother to physically stop me from giving away a very nice bike to an unscrupulous “believer”.

Meditate on these words from Proverbs 3:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Thanks for reading.

As I read Hebrews 4, it says: “For we who have believed do enter that rest, as He has said: “So I swore in My wrath, ‘They shall not enter My rest,’ ” although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.” — Hebrews‬ ‭4:3‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

This is so heavy. “ … although the works were finished from the foundation of the world …” What this indicates to me is that all of the plans of God have been completed from the beginning, and our job as followers of Christ is to believe Him, and walk out the path that has already been laid out for us. There is no restriction in this, for the paths that God has laid create a beautiful tapestry of possibilities. He can be trusted, because He is the Architect, Maker and Designer, and He promises that the path is good and pleasing.

“There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience.” — Hebrews‬ ‭4:9–11‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Similar to the way electrical wiring has already been already been laid out in a home — we just have to flip the switch, or plug in the device. But there are multiple outlets for the electricity to flow, and the combinations are endless. And the electricity did not stop because we turned off a switch, or unplugged a device. The disconnect was on our end, not on the power source’s end. The wiring is completed — the electricity is in place. We must do our part to activate the power within the electricity by flipping a switch, or plugging in a device.

“…Be diligent to enter that rest …” The entire chapter of Hebrews 4 stresses the needed for obedience, diligence, and faithfulness. The word diligence means “steady, earnest, and energetic effort: devoted and painstaking work and application to accomplish an undertaking”.

God has laid out the plan, and it is good. He encourages us to walk in His good plan, but we must be diligent in our walk. How can we do this? By loving Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbor as ourselves. To do this require diligence and faith.

For example, when someone mistreats you, it requires diligence to pray for the perpetrator, and faith to believe that God is our Vindicator. (Isaiah 54:17) The definition of a vindicator is one who frees another from allegation or blame; to provide justification or defense for; to protect from attack; to avenge.

This is the God Who loves us, and either we believe Him, or we don’t. We may say like the man who approached Jesus about his daughter, “Lord, I believe — help my unbelief!” And this is a prayer that God honors. Consistent effort toward knowing Him, no matter how small, is precious to God, and He welcomes anyone drawing near to Him. But because He is holy, us drawing near to Him requires us to submit to Him, and allowing Him to rid us of our impurities (sins) — similar to gold being purified or refined. And with that purification process, as we submit to the process, the value of the gold increases exponentially, and it also becomes more transparent, and malleable.

Back to the foundation of the world.

The works are done. God has a good plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11). Even though bad things happen, God is able to turn them around for our good, and for His glory (Romans 8:28, Genesis 50:20)

God can be trusted. The work is completed. Trust God, and do good. Delight yourself in Him, and He will give you the desires of Your heart. (Psalm 37).

Thank you for reading.

Exodus 20:16 says “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” I’ve always been taught that this commandment means “to lie about someone” or to “give a false testimony”. While that is true, a different understanding of that verse has come to mind. It’s not only not lying on your neighbor, although that is included. It’s even presupposing that you know someone’s motives or reasons for doing something, or not doing something.

For example, I asked a friend about connecting over spring break, and she said that it would be great. She said that she would ask her husband about it, and let me know. That was Wednesday. Today is Sunday, and I have not heard back from her, nor her husband.

My mind can come up with the list of assumptions in a New York second: She forgot to ask him; they are busy during spring break; she intentionally did not communicate with him; she communicated with him and he did not want to meet; but she doesn’t know how to tell me; they have no desire to meet with me; they are overcommited already; and the list goes on.

Some of those explanations are more painful than others. However, because I do not KNOW the reason for their silence, for me to create a scenario in my head is a type of “bearing false witness”. God is so good. Just obeying that commandment would have saved me from diagnoses of mental illness, medications, and years of therapy, not to mention cultivating piece of mind and dissipating anxiety.

Not only that — bearing false witness plays right into the enemy’s hands. It allows the devil to run rampant with my mental state, captivate my imagination, and internalize a scenario that may not be true, but harm me as if it were true.

However, I must confess that it is painful to be forgotten or ignored. So, I pray: Father God, please heal my heart in this matter. And in every scenario where I have been ignored, lied to, or forgotten, please fill that hole in my heart with Your grace, Your wisdom, and Your love.

This understanding of the Ninth Commandment helps me to forgive more quickly, and give others (and myself) the grace to be human.

Thanks for reading.

Fast-forward to April 30, 2021.

After submitting my third final project at the end of my first semester as a computer programming major at a local community college (via online classes), I recognized that my feelings toward the software industry have shifted. Since completing an unusually challenging semester, complete with a pandemic, an unprecedented winter storm with subsequent power outages, and an overwhelming work schedule on top of the three online classes, I have learned several invaluable lessons.

I truly love coding. I enjoy the process to the nth degree. I am perfectly content to sit in front of my computer for 10–12 hours a day (when I am not at my day job), investigating the causes of inaccurate output, studying the logic behind my coding choices, working to streamline my algorithms, reading coding blogs, or improving a website’s user interface. This field appeals to my meticulous nature in spades.

This realization is liberating.

I understand that if I apply for an open position in a company and they choose not to interview me, or the interview leads to a rejection, that is perfectly fine. I have the skills and the tools to build my own enterprise, or better yet, help others actualize their dreams. If a company chooses not to hire me solely because the interviewer decides that I am not a good culture fit, that is the best possible outcome.

It would be difficult to work for any organization that values everything about me, except my authentic self.

I would prefer employment in a company that I admire, and has a reputation for treating their customers, clients, and employees with integrity, genuine respect, and kindness. I want to work for a company whose culture embraces humility and true service. A company with a heightened sense of social awareness, and one that embraces all cultures. A company that actively pursues giving and serves the world at large, rather than existing for the sole purpose of increasing profit margins. A company that values ethical behavior, honesty, and integrity in all of its employees, from the CEO and founder, to the part-time remote worker, to the custodian, and everyone in between.

A company who sees me, my character, and what I can potentially contribute to their organization, and not just my outer appearance.

I have compiled a list of companies that appear to embody these attributes. We’ll see what happens.

I was afraid of the software industry before because I thought that potential employers would ignore me, regardless of my resumé, portfolio, and computer programming transcript. I thought that I would end up with a massive student loan debt, unemployed in my chosen field, based on physical traits that have no bearing on my ability to do the job.

After completing one semester, I understand that ANY investment in acquiring skills that you have always wanted to learn is never wasted. Learning how to think like a programmer is invaluable. That skill alone has increased my efficiency in my current career.

I am exceedingly grateful that I am learning how to program computers as a second career (as opposed to a first career). I am reasonably certain that if programming had been my first career, my attitude would have been one of arrogance, hubris, and entitlement. My younger self would not have appreciated the opportunities and privileges inherent in software engineering, development, and design. I would have taken the tech industry for granted.

It’s a wonderful time to be a software developer. The field is vast, with innumerable possibilities.

There is room for everyone who fully embraces the process of growth and learning.

Why the Software Industry Scares Me

I am passionate about software development. Computer science is fascinating to me. I have loved technology since childhood, when my parents gave me a Timex Sinclair for Christmas, and I wrote my first line of BASIC. A year later, they upgraded my computer to a Commodore Vic 20. If I had not discovered music in junior high school (which led to my becoming a professional musician and music educator), I would have pursued computer science as my primary career path. I enjoy the process of building things, learning new concepts, practicing for mastery, and problem-solving.

When I read articles about interviewing for jobs as a software developer, I repeatedly see the term “culture fit”. What does it mean to be a good “culture fit”?

The idea that I can spend thousands of dollars on tuition, thousands of hours in learning the fundamentals and languages of computer science, pass every part of the interview process with flying colors, ace the coding challenge, and then be denied a job opportunity because the interviewer “feels” that I would not be a good “culture fit”, is scary.

I have read several articles which stated that the interviewer goes with their “gut feeling” in regards to culture fit. Is that true?

I cannot help but think of the Stack Overflow survey from 2019. After I saw the statistics regarding the demographics of the industry, it discouraged me so much that I stopped learning to code for over a year. I asked myself, What if I do everything in my power to learn to be an excellent software developer, and it’s not enough to transition into a software development career, because I don’t “fit the culture”? If I am denied a position, shouldn’t it to be on the basis of my inability to do the work that the company requires, not on the basis of inherited characteristics? Then again, maybe I am misunderstanding the meaning of “culture fit”.

Recently, I have chosen to pursue software developing again, simply because I enjoy it. I want to make meaningful contributions to the world through technology. However, it still disturbs me that I can (possibly) be excluded from a career in the software industry because of my inherent physical attributes (if that is what “culture fit” means). When I am studying computer science, I focus on the joy of learning, rather than the possibility that all of my efforts could lead to joblessness in my chosen career field.

I recognize that not every company uses the “culture fit” criterion as the primary factor when deciding whether or not to hire someone. But I dream of working at one of the large, established tech companies. Will I be excluded on the basis of “culture fit”, even if I do well in all the other parts of the interview?

It is now 2020, and a lot has happened this year. The Stack Overflow survey for 2020 has shown slight changes from 2019. Perhaps there has been a shift in the corporate culture that I am unaware of. If you are a company of any size that hires software developers, please share your insights regarding “culture fit”. I truly hope that the meaning of “culture fit” is different from my perception. I don’t want to believe that my dream industry would exclude me because of traits that I was born with. That’s a scary thought.