When Kayvee dropped out of the big brother naija show, the love and support was immense. At a point I felt, people were actually paying attention to mental health but in that same week, another housemate “pere” was slandered so bad that I felt pity for this generation.

Why do we body shame people and yet when they slip into depression we claim to care? Why do display people’s emotions till they feel hopeless? Too many why's. I’ll try my best to answer why we are the problem.

Group Think:

I think the term “keypad warriors” is now becoming more relevant. People attack people with any iota of fear when they are told to attack. The moment you find yourself waiting for a particular person to say something about a particular issue before you comment, then you are part of the problem!

Wrong use of mental health:

it is now becoming a trend for someone to come online and threaten to kill oneself if money isn’t sent to their account. Most people now use suicide and poor mental health to gain engagements, when does it end? The more people keep using it wrongly, the harder it is for people that are in actual need of mental health support to get it.

No Life outside Social media:

I have seen multiple social media influencers on twitter say that they would rather die than bring their problems to twitter. They know how much harm, social media consultation cause, it might look cheap, but the damage is endless. Even if you get your daily bread from social media, try and get a life outside social media, make friends, enjoy your family functions, have a religious life if you must, go on vacations, but do not live your whole life off social media.

Written by

Victor Ezema

Statistics has shown that, one out of five people feel burn out and it mostly occurs as a result of work. (So yea! Don’t forget to take care of yourself😉)

Here are signs you might be suffering from burn out.

• You feel disconnected from everything:

When you tend to rigmarole and do something over and over again and in such process, you start to feel exhausted, there is a tendency you start losing connection with people or things. This process is called “Depersonalization".

• You used to be Passionate and Motivated:

When what keeps you up at night and brings joy has become a source of sadness and exhaustion. Also, you might be feeling burn out and hate what you do because of how you have over worked yourself.

• When you become moody and irritable:

Research has shown that life stress can cause irritability and not recognizing it on time is an early stage of burn out.

There and then, you become emotionally out of control and depression sets in.

• You have neglected your self-care:

On my last write-up, I made emphasis on the need to ensure self care. Debunk the fallacy that self-care makes you weak because lack of self-care makes you damage.

Therefore, when you start to neglect self-care, socially distance yourself from others, and withdraw from the simplest task (because it seems like heavy work), there is a tendency you are feeling burn out.

More so, emotional, mental and physical changes which can lead to burn out happen gradually. Feeling burn out doesn’t happen overnight and so, if you know anyone who is suffering from any of these signs, reach out to them. Also, if you are suffering from any of these signs, please reach out to an expert or a medical practitioner.

Written by,

Abosede Hassan.

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I am literally screaming. I made it through weeks to have another write. Although, not on mental health and Sex but this time on something more fascinating. So, sit still, hold your phone and drink water.

Have you ever felt in between? On the fence with your feelings? Stucked between happiness and sadness? One minute you are smiling another, you have lost the will to? Then, this read is for you, here are signs you might not be as happy as you express yourself.

When you no longer find joy like you use:

This feeling is called “Anhedonia”. This can also be described as the loss or decrease inability to feel pleasure from the things we once enjoyed.

If you one way or another feel this way, even slightly, it simply means you are not truly happy.

When you engage in addictive behaviour:

The most common addictive behaviour is drinking, smoking etc. However, addictive behaviour can come in different forms such as sleeping excessively, eating, binging movies, social media etc. All the latter behaviours could be seen as normal. However, when they are excessive then, it means you are addicted.

When you try hard to showoff:

Heavy social media users tend to be far more likely to be unhappy. Research has shown that showing how great your life is, is a compensation for the dissatisfaction you feel. Although, there are debates on this but do what makes you happy 😉.

You stand to over look self care:

Many people tend to think self care makes them weak and only feeble people go through self care. Mai dear, that is a fallacy!

Self care is simply appreciating and loving yourself. Take time off to pamper and love your self and not beat yourself about what is and what is not.

You have unrealistic high expectation:

I am not saying don’t have high expectation, all I’m simply saying is, if it doesn’t work out well, don’t beat yourself up about.

In an interview with WentWorth Miller who is also know as 'Scofield’, he said

“I realize that when I’m in crisis, when I have 'f**ked up. My response is, you f**king idiot…How could you? Of course? What did you expect?

If I spoke to my friends like I use to speak to myself, I would have no friends. So, if you do talk to yourself out loud, make sure the words are loving and supporting and nourishing …”

If you don’t show any of these signs, bravo! Keep being happy. If you show one or two, stay happy! And if it persists, please see an expert or a medical Practitioner.

Thanks.

Written by
Abosede Hassan.

There are some common sexual habit amongst humans; if you have these traits, it doesn’t mean you’re a sex extremist or erotophobia (fear of sex), it just means you are young, broke and horny Mai dear.

Here are some common psychological facts about sex:

Some are wired to want more sex

There is no metric in checking the level of ones sexual urge; therefore, it is completely normal to want more sex. However, if wanting more sex hinders ones progressiveness to life’s activities, then, there is a problem.

Lower cholesterol can boost performance

Intake such as saturated fats, sugar, alcohol increases cholesterol and as such reduces ones sexual performance. So, at this juncture, the decision is yours😉

Men are wired to pay attention to their partners during sex

This points will engage a lot of debates as well as criticism. But let me cast your mind to the rape issue in 2020.

Both parties were dating and had what could be termed as 'consensual sex’. The lady later claimed that she felt very uncomfortable along the line which the guy attested to.

Here! Meaning, the guy paid attention to the lady while they were having sex.

There and then, with lots of research and articles that has been written on this point, men are wired to pay attention to their partner during sex. Yikes😉and if you’re a man and you don’t do this, it is high time you started.

Men feel pressured to have sex

I have had this conversation with two guys who said the male gender always feel the need to have sex when they get 'Green light’ from the other gender. This green light can be in any form.

And we should also know that, there are some green light that are not green light.

Birth control can influence a woman’s attraction to certain types of men.

Research has shown that the smell of the pills and other factors wade off a woman’s attraction to certain kinds of men.

Sexual attraction is formulated by ovulation.

This is quite common. I have seen tweet of ladies screaming about their horniness and sexual attraction towards men during ovulation period. This is very common and true.

So, if you’re a lady out there, suddenly having sexual attraction and extremely horny during ovulation. It’s not spiritual, no need to 'cast and bind' about it. You’re just being human!

At this juncture, I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you about some sex facts.

And it is a wrap (more like, wrap of fufu) on Mental health and Sex.

Written by

Abosede Hassan

MELANCHOLIC:

They are also called perfectionist, they set standards for everyone and everything and end up being distressed when things don't go their way. Melancholics are also detail oriented, they pride themselves in creating effective systems and following each rule. Just like maria, melancholics are also self sacrificing, compassionate and sensitive towards others.

STRENGHTS: Melancholics are classy organizers, they spend time crossing every T and dotting every I. In addition to their organization skills, they also have strong analytical skills and intuition.

WEAKNESSES: They are hard to please which is as a result of their high standards. Melancholics are easily broken by imperfections, failures could make them sad, depressed or moody.
Careers perfect for melancholics: research, art, science, accounting,administration, and social work.

CHOLERIC:

Andrew always came across as bossy and sometimes a bully, but he could always be trusted with taking charge of the house. He was always decribed as a born leader. Cholerics are characterized as quick-thinkers, effective influencers, competitive, independent, easily annoyed, and prideful. They are also strong competitors who love to prove themselves. They also love to show strength in all situations even when they might be scared.

STRENGTHS: They are born leaders, charismatic and exude confidence. Cholerics are strong willed, decisive and goal oriented.

WEAKNESSES: Cholerics are also regarded as the most ambitious of all the temperaments, but most times appear as bossy, quick tempered, impatient and unsypathetic. They have little tolerance for mistakes, loves to manipulate and dominate others.
Careers perfect for cholerics: business, law, technology, security, management, engineering and statistics.

NB: According to the ancients, your dominant temperament is something that you are born with. However, you can balance your temperaments by doing things like changing your environment or intentionally changing some habits.

Written by Veektor

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Hippocrates linked the Phlegmatic temperament with phlegm, a body fluid that is thick, slow-moving and almost stagnant in nature. He insisted that mood and emotions depended on an excess or lack of those fluids in people’s bodies.

Temperament is individual differences in emotions, motor, reactivity, and self-regulation. Simply put, the reactions, actions or inactions, activeness or passiveness or proactivesness differentiates one temperament from the other. We have four temperaments
Sanguine (enthusiastic, active, and social)
Choleric (short-tempered, fast, and irritable)
Melancholic (analytical, wise, and quiet)
Phlegmatic (relaxed and peaceful) （i told you there is more to phlegmatic, winks）.
We will be looking at two of them this week, but first lets start with their strenghts

SANGUINE: These guys are the party animals, they could walk into a room filled with strangers and everyone would know their name. They are usually confident, this helps them to make people,comfortable around them. Pause, think of a friend thats a talkative, you barely get to hang out with them because they are always doing something new, but when they do have your time, it is like a never ending experience, you wish it shouldn't end. Sanguines are You are cool-headed and productive. Careers perfect for sanguines: sales, PR, customer service, marketing, travel, sports, and entertainment.

PHLEGMATIC: Let me start by telling you that there are more phlegmatics than any other temperaments, which means we have more service oriented, passive, calm and easy going people in the world. Phlegs are usually quiet people who love to stay around family and friends and are also loyal to a fault. Careers perfect for phlegmatics: nursing, education, psychology, office work, assistant roles, human or social services.

WEAKNESSES

SANGUINE: They lose motivation and interest in work when it becomes humdrum or doesn’t require any defined responsibilities. They are overly talkative and impulsive, also bad listeners and attention seekers.

PHLEGMATIC:They are not quick to make decisions, They are passive, which leads to a lack of ambition. Phlegs are fearful, worried , self righteous and they resist changes.

NB: It is possible to have two (2) temperaments or sometimes three (3) in an individual. That is, it is possible to have a primary type of sanguine and a secondary type of phlegmatic, or vice versa.

Dear Readers: You get a taste of two other Temperaments Next Week. So Stay Tuned!

Written by Veektor

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1)KNOW THYSELF

A story is told of the greatest salesman to ever work with Thomas Edison, he was so good that a slogan was coined after him "Made by Edison installed by Barnes". Edwin C. Barnes didn't arrive at that position out of luck, he desired it. All he wanted was to work with the greatest scientist. He knew he could do it and when the opportunity arose, he took it.

How well do we know what we can and can't do, what are your values, your strengths and weaknesses.
The key to self mastery and ultimate confidence is SELF KNOWLEDGE. We spend too many days trying to be like other people, admiring how they act, what they wear, even how they talk. I know we need models but are your models really your models. Do their values align with ours. Why do you need them. You need to do some soul searching, always ask yourself "What can you offer".

2) SHOW UP NICELY

"You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it."
Clothing is about who we are and how we want to portray ourselves to the world. When Jesus asked his disciples who people say he was, you would notice that all the answers given were in line with what he has been doing or his appearance.

You want people to take you seriously, show up well.You want to be respected, show up well. Remember you'll be addressed the way you're dressed. During orientation as a freshman, one of the most respected lecturer stood up to address us, one of the warnings he hammered on was to always dress appropriately.
That means do not overdress or underdress. His idea for dress code was to inculcate an identity into our lives. He'd always say that we are professionals and so we must appear like one.

3) ALWAYS BE PREPARED

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”
My first presentation during my 200 level was a disaster. I and my team mates were given a topic to present, we read, researched and prepared but on that day, the questions we were asked were totally different from what we’ve read. We were caught off guard and rendered speechless.

Guess what it did to my confidence, I couldn’t raise my head among coursemates anymore, most of them even made jokes. It was my lowest moment but also the most important lesson I ever learned. Till this day I’ve never showed up unprepared.

Make it your job to always know enough about that interview, business meeting or presentation, never be caught off guard.

Written by Veektor

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I was taken to a pediatrician as I underwent some screening exercises and tests which led to the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). My parents where confused and felt their world crashing, their first child after waiting 10years was "autistic".
ASD is a broad term used to describe a group of neurodevelopmental disorders. It is a developmental disability that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges. People with ASD often have problems with social, emotional, and communication skills. They might repeat certain behaviors and might not want change in their daily activities.
Autism symptoms typically become clearly evident during early childhood, between 12 and 24 months of age.

However, symptoms may also appear earlier or later. Early symptoms may include a marked delay in language or social development, also problems with communication and social interaction, and restricted or repetitive patterns of behavior or activities.

Autistic patients could have trouble communicating but they can be unsually good at art, music, maths or memory. As a result of this, they might do well especially on tests of analysis and problem solving.
Autistic people shouldn’t be descriminated by the society. They can be seen as talented people with exceptional traits…There are incredibly successful and famous people in history today who are autistic. The likes of Dan Aykroyd a comedic actor, Susan Boyle (Britain’s Got Talent singing sensation), Daryl Hannah, Fewa Otedola, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Nikola Tesla(an inventor), Michelangelo (sculptor, painter, architect and poet), Steve Jobs ( former CEO of Apple), Barbara McClintock (scientist and cytogenecticist), Woody Allen, Tim Burton, Temple Gradin and many others.

People with mental disabilities shouldn’t be discriminated, they should be given a voice as they can be very successful in their area of interest. They are an amazing asset to the society. When we see ourselves as imperfect beings, then it will be easier not to stigmatize or ostracize those with mental disabilities. If only love and acceptance can be shown, then we can enjoy the beauty of life and then the society can see our inner strength and beauty.

At age 2, I found it hard to understand and control my own emotions and express my needs. I couldn’t pronounce words properly like kids my age, instead I sounded robotic. Holding my toys was much more difficult than taking injections at the hospital. My senses get overloaded due to high sensitivity to sound, touch and smell which makes me really anxious because I can’t balance it all. I really desired to play with others kids but I didn’t know how to, so I sat there alone and watched them giggle and play away. It’s not my fault I was created this way, please give me a chance to live.

I am just a special child.
I am not a nuisance, I only need just a chance to live like you all.

Written by, Deborah Adekunle.

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Global Youth Mental Health Forum, Nigeria.

#weeklydigest.