Some regret, an academic failure or a breakup, sure breaks your heart but this time it's not that. Not the pain of solitude, not the restlessness of existence, no fiction. Misery, straightforward, viciously unfolds before two souls, two helpless souls. Neither was mine but the scene would surely afflict one's heart unless he's compassionless.

After Picking up some groceries, on his way back Mr X suddenly stops as a car whistles past his toes to park barely five yards ahead. The moment the driver steps out of the car, Mr X, shocked, judges him to be a stupid, goon type of a person. He walks ahead thinking what if the car had hit him, and whispers to himself, these f**king individuals, hate them to hell. Two minutes later, about 50 meters ahead he stops at a shop to buy some cumin. Seconds later, a huge bang can be heard from not more than a dozen steps away. After a brief moment of silence, a person runs around shouting, "he's hit him" "he's hit him". In a minute, word gets around the shops that a car has hit a child, "pick him up" " pick him up". Soon Mr X watches a man, a labourer by his judgement, holding a kid, his son, no more than 6 years old with his head almost plucked out, hanging over his father's shoulder, barely intact with the flesh of his neck. The kid's mother on her knees watches, as people gather. The driver gets back into his car after coming out briefly to take a look and then runs away. The mother, with a dust wiper in her hands, circles her husband holding their son, who's now dead. Mr X, witnessing this, with his legs shaking, walks away terrified. The parents are in disbelief for the moment, but how long till they succumb to it? Only then, does the torment start eroding the heart. What on earth would compensate for the death of your child?

And to Mr X, It was absolutely clear, that it was not an accident, the man killed a Son, a Child.

Why do I not run into a wall or jump off a cliff? Apparently, in the essence of vulnerability, it is avoidable. But what about the people who have deliberately run into a wall or jumped off a cliff? Do they find intentional vulnerability beautiful?

On the other hand, When at home up north, I wake up to the imagination of the mountains collapsing upon me or the land beneath me disappearing. At this point, I must succumb to the inevitability of this event. Then I ask myself why inevitable vulnerability exists in a world created by a God ’’All-good and All-powerful”?

Since Vibration is the apparent reason for existence, For me, It is synonymous with consciousness. All matter is conscious, it is just that for a rock the vibration is simple, or maybe we don’t know what kind of consciousness a rock has. Just the special harmony of Frequency in the neurons in our brain might be the reason for our complex consciousness. Do things exist when we are not thinking about or looking at them?

My name is Saudade. My mind is a pessimist, my heart an optimist. At times I am afraid of tomorrow because I imagine the worst things that could happen. Sometimes It worries me after I confront a person, immediately I imagine myself being at the receiving end of a confrontation that may be unjust or justified but harsh. I almost feel that ache in my imagination. But this is not just for misery and vulnerability. In contentment, let’s say I tell my friends a joke. It is because I imagine them laughing at my joke. Subconsciously I take a step because I imagine my feet landing one-third of a yard ahead. When playing football, I dribble the ball because I imagine my opponent robbing it off my feet. I love imagination, it is my soul. I’m in love with this lady but here, I cannot exactly imagine what I do this for. Alas, what shall I make of this dubiety?