Bachelor Arts; thot you were a h*e

You was my phone, day and night.

helped every1 connect at any sight.

You were sometimes my only friend.

You were with me when days end.

When feeling alone, she was there.

When I left, I saw her everywhere.

AI, she becoming someone else.

For the wealth, she something else.

Everyone got eyes on her.

She in everyone’s pockets.

I see her in these streets.

Every1 has hands on her.

To me, she seemed pure.

Hooked up ta her, at last.

Do you throw the 2 weeks of progress away?

Slipping up fears worse than death

What’s life without short-term bliss?

What’s life without the pleasure and highs?

Only just another day to get by

When you chase feelings

It leaves you reeling for some type of healing

Of all the things you been dealing

For me, it’s during the Winter Holiday, for three consecutive years.

No work alarms for 3 weeks is truly a great experience.

SAG HARBOR

too many thoughts to count

Lookin’ for Jesus, sermon on mount

I know it ain’t about amount

Achievement society about amount

“DISEASE OF MORE”

too many thots to count

Championships , GOAT mount

I know it ain’t about amount

Achievement society about amount

resist aspirational and fantastical

oldies gather their circle, gamble on lotto

we play bingo, and wanna win something

i ain’t got no brainpower to play mahjong

american dream don’t exist

the fantasy will make you come.

we all need some sort of opium.

some form of coping thru stress.

neg reality can suck your energy.

you can’t buy it, you can’t buy it!

fallin’ for opium, fallin’ for opium.

shutdown ritual (“I do what I have the power to do.”)

I am unhappy. Sometimes, I think of quitting my job every day.

Getting as happy and well as possible

Health — Physical, Mental, and Emotional

If I don’t develop those skills, WHO WILL?

WHY

• I FUNDED MY INDEPENDENCE AND GROWTH
• I TOOK CARE OF MY FAMILY, FRIENDSHIPS, AND THE WORLD.
• BENEFITS PACKAGE (HEALTHCARE, 401K PLAN WITH MATCH, PTO, SICK TIME, DENTAL/VISION INSURANCE)
• MORE GRATEFULNESS MULTIPLIED.

willing freedom of others may will personal freedom, change the heart + minds.

A colleague said to have a job lined up before you resign — it’s easier to get a job when you have a job.

“Your work isn’t your identity, although you spend a lot of hours here.”

“It’s a bad move if you resign and have nothing in place.”

“If you don’t like office work, do not apply for an AA2 position; it will be more work, more responsibility, you’re going to feel similar.”

David, a vendor, said have a job lined up before you resign — but if you’re done, you’re done…

Noah, HR, said have a job lined up before you resign, he just retired.

Ly, another colleague, said to have a job lined up before you resign.

My brother said to have a job lined up before you resign.

My boss said have a job lined up before you resign.

What if I stop working for a university?

money can get you a vacation.

i’m thinkin’ about my life.

A few measures of mental and emotional well-being:

(1) Self-acceptance, a positive attitude toward self and past experiences, recognizing and accepting one’s own characteristics

(2) Positive Relations with People; having true, warm, and satisfactory relations with others and being concerned for their well-being

(3) Autonomy — self-determining and independent

(4) Environmental Mastery, one’s capacity to handle and control the environment, taking opportunities the environment offers to fill one’s needs and values.

(5) Purpose in Life, includes goals in life, and feeling that life has sense.

(6) Personal Growth, the feeling of growth, and one is developing one’s potential.

“Women and men with a higher job level will have more psychological well-being than less qualified workers.”

“Masculinity will be more associated with the psychological well-being of men and women than femininity.”

“Men’s outcomes seem to be more strongly shaped by employment, while women’s outcomes are more strongly shaped by education and marital status.”

WHAT WE NEED THE MOST: EACH OTHER; THAT’S WHY WE GATHER TOGETHER (FAMILY, TO KEEP OUR FAMILIES CLOSE)

“ cities have been designed to create more problems that can create more industries.” — kanye west

Family is everything.

I am happy and making a positive impact on the world.

My days are for family and loved ones.

I have faith in a higher purpose, humanity, family, and friends. I enjoy working on projects that serve the world and make a positive, meaningful impact on our communities.

I get to enjoy time with my family and friends.

Dear Older Self,

I made it to 58. I made my life, my family’s lives, and the world better.

My kids showed me the beauty of human existence.

Their perspective of the world is a peak experience for my wife and me.

Negative power- No, you can’t do that. No you shouldn’t do that. (Behavior being controlled by prohibition/limitation) SHOULD//

Positive power- You can be whatever you wanna be in this world, you can be anything CAN//

…If only you make yourself valuable enough → maximize your abilities or you’ll feel bad about it

Neoliberalism framework — produces narcissistic tendancies//grind, grind, grind (a person who has a condition in which they are only interested in themselves and what they want, and have a strong need to be admired and a lack of understanding of other people’s feelings, someone who has too much admiration for himself or herself.) may result in → depression, anxiety, exhaustion, unfulfilled, self-hatred.

Achievement society/freedom/security/mentally optimizing yourself/your projects (self)

Master narrative — slow down, listen fully, contemplate how things impact my life and others (a sense for the other), do things purely for the sake of joy, rest, moral reflection/ moral understanding, productivity

Sitting in silence — meditation

Working with my hands — craft

Thinking — on deeper levels

“There’s more to life than productivity, efficiency, narcissistic self-optimization.”

Narcissism — people feel like they need to ‘live’ to survive

Unknown: Sea

Safety (Foundation of boat)

Connection (Foundation of boat)

Self-esteem (Foundation of boat)

Exploration (Sail)

Love (Sail)

Purpose (Sail)

talent + context of meaning behind it = biggest positive impact on the world, uniquely.

Highest motivation in life -transcendence (what is good for oneself is automatically good for others)

Head high//Transcendence — Seeing talent (skills) executed in craft/profession during pressure situations (ie — Stephen Curry)

Peak experience — An experience of perfection, pure form. Love experience, being on top of a mountain, just being taken over by music, going along the seashore etc.

Higher degree of psychological health → the greater the frequency of peak experiences/ the higher they reach // the more intense they are // the more you learn from them (cognitively).

“The most precious gifts of all: independence and growth,” per Kobe Bryant.

When all your dreams came true, you also invested in the future of your family, friends, and community.

I used my resources to put them in the best position to realize their own dreams.

Either through education, setting them up with job interviews or helping them develop self-reliance.

Your life changed when you started working.

Just reflect when you lay down at night after another eight-hour workday.

Setting things up right from jump will avoid heartache and tears.

You lived a happy, meaningful life, and were able to share it with people you love.

Much gratitude,

Keanu

Relationships: Family, friends, community, partner etc. Invest time and effort into building strong, supportive relationships.

—

Prioritize spending and making conscious financial decisions, which make the most of your income and achieves financial stability over time.

1. Housing: Living in a affordable area within commuting distance, even if it means a longer commute. Aim to keep your housing costs (mortgage, utilities, insurance) to no more than 30% of your income.
2. Food and Dining: Cook meals at home to save. 1. Plan your meals for the week 2. make a grocery list, and 3. buy groceries in bulk or on sale. *Limit eating out to special occasions and use coupons or dining discounts when you do. (fruit, vegetables, a little protein)
3. Transportation: Use public transportation whenever possible to save on gas/parking fees. If you must own a car, choose a reliable, fuel-efficient model and minimize unnecessary driving.
4. Savings and Investments: Build an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses, aiming for at least 3–6 months’ worth of living expenses. Start saving for retirement early, especially if your employer offers a retirement savings plan with matching contributions.
5. Healthcare: Use preventative care to avoid expensive medical bills later on. Take advantage of any healthcare benefits offered by your employer and compare costs when choosing health insurance plans.
6. Utilities and Services: Be mindful of your energy and water usage to lower utility bills. Bundle services like internet, phone for savings, or cut out non-essential services.
7. Debt Management: Focus on paying off high-interest debt aggressively to free up more of your income. Consider consolidating debt or refinancing to lower interest rates if possible.
8. Additional Income: Explore ways to increase income. Use any extra income to boost your savings or pay down debt faster.
9. Entertainment and Leisure: Free/low-cost activities (museums on free days, attending community events, discounts on movie tickets, concerts, walking trails, wineries, and other entertainment)
10. Shopping: Prioritize needs over wants. Shop sales and use coupons or discount codes when buying necessities. Consider buying secondhand items.

My parents got covid on (07.14.24)

They are immigrants, retired in their 60s.

Just provide them food, when I get home from work.

Went to wine tasting to celebrate a friend’s birthday, over the weekend too.

I went to work with covid symptoms, Mon — Wed.

*It didn’t cross my mind to take sick time and take care of me or my parents until after two days, when I’m home sick from covid, on Fri (07.19.24)

I tested positive on Wed (07.17.24)

Targeted a Tuesday return (07.23.24)

Set-back (07.22.24, tested positive for covid again, in the afternoon)

WORK → MEANING, LEISURE or CONSUME → REPEAT

sunday steppin’, hit my line after 10 am, omw.

ill tell you how to escape; fake your death and go to Cuba.

effort

attention (WORK and LOVE)

love

*laugh

figure out a way to use it, do something nice

//intent- becoming; super cool project

im just a city boy from california

i’ll def see you on your off-day

“Go slow… in everything, it will make everything a lot more romantic, and you’ll appreciate it a lot more when you get there — you’ll really understand it.”- Donald Glover

RETIREMENT MARKETING

Remember when bino said he retirin’ while touring in Atlanta (09.06.18)

In 2024, six years later, he dropped an album, and said yet again, he’s retiring the Childish Gambino name, before releasing his album and going on tour.

“It really was just like, ‘Oh, it’s done,’” he said, describing the moment of realization. “It’s not fulfilling. And I just felt like I didn’t need to build in this way anymore.” (07.17.24)

Basic Human Needs in Life: health, relationships, food, home, job, car, healthcare, savings/retirement savings, life insurance, vision/dental/car insurance, electricity (heat/water bill), garbage bill, internet provider, mobile plan, the 5 love languages etc.

Why would a person need guidelines before making choices, and what is the person’s guidelines?

Cost — work = loss family time / loss leisure time

Responsibilities that align with my values, dreams, and the life I intend

My therapist reminds me to take baby steps, slowly build up confidence, think of dating like an experiment.

There’s people in the world, who are examples of that.

Joy Praxis — fun (Stephen Curry)

Craft Praxis- do your job (Kobe Bryant)

Human Kindness Praxis — do good (Rich Paul)

Stanford CV Med Admin 2 — Applied, got a phone interview, I thought it went well, and I wasn’t moved on.

(more qualified candidates than me)

Stanford Anthropology Admin 2 — Applied, got a phone interview; I didn’t think they liked my responses, so I wasn’t moved on.

(more qualified candidates than me)

UC Berkeley CA Local News Fellowship, I didn’t make it pass the 1st round.

(more qualified candidates than me)

DoM Admin — Applied, Asked to answer some questions on email, got a zoom interview, wasn’t moved on. (more qualified candidates than me)

(more qualified candidates than me)

DoM HR Assistant — Applied, asked to do a Spark Hire video interview, got a phone interview, wasn’t moved on (more qualified candidates than me)

(more qualified candidates than me)

Four different experiences applying to Stanford full-time positions — I can’t get past the first round of interviews, even as an internal candidate.

I got one piece of evidence that shows I’m not good enough yet for a Video Fellowship at the University level, as I didn’t make it past the first round.

(more qualified candidates than me)

• Media with accurate information and original content.

Craft: strong shooting, editing, and producing skills, and the ability to make

Some doors just closing on me professionally — and it doesn’t feel like I’m in a position to get promoted yet, as I can’t pass the first stages of interviews, at the University level; “get happy, boi!” (nothing is stopping you — big sean)