Women’s health continues to come second for many decision makers. Congress needs to hear from you that your health is nonnegotiable. And on May 23, women from across the country, including me!!, will take this message to Capitol Hill to send Congress a message: It’s time to care about about what we are putting inside our vaginas!

You might be thinking…what’s the big deal anyway?

As citing in the 2013 report, Chem Fatale, the walls of the vagina are filled with numerous blood vessels and lymphatic vessels, which allows for direct transfer of chemicals in to the circulatory system. In fact, there is considerable interest in vaginal drug delivery systems because the vagina is such an effective site to transfer drugs directly into the blood without being metabolized first.

When it comes to toxic chemicals, this means they can also be rapidly absorbed and circulated through the rest of the body. This is especially true of hormone-mimicking chemicals. One study found that a vaginally applied dose of estradiol (an estrogen proxy) resulted in systemic estradiol levels in the body 10 to 80 times greater compared to the same dose given orally.

Right now, we already know that toxic chemicals like talc, formaldehyde releasers and parabens can be used in feminine wipes, douches, feminine washes and feminine deodorant products. We already know that hidden fragrance chemicals, are ending up in everything from tampons to powders.

We Can Do Better!

Forward-thinking companies like Sustain are already doing the right thing for women by voluntarily disclosing the ingredients used in their products, but we need complete, universal and full disclosure of the ingredients found the products — and furthermore, we need to know that these ingredients are safe.

Some members of Congress are ready to help make this happen. Congresswoman Grace Meng is getting ready to re-introduce her bill that will require full ingredient disclosure of tampons, pads and menstrual cups. Meng is speaking with me at the event on May 23 and will stand together with women from all over the nation to tell Congress that we have the right to know what’s in the products we use in on and around our vaginas. Congress can do their part by enacting a very simple, common-sense law.

Join me, and take a stand!

Whether in person, or in spirit — please join in the fight for your right to know and your right to non-toxic products. Raise your voice! http://www.womensvoices.org/rally-for-safe-feminine-care-products-in-washington-dc/

This got me thinking though: Why is it that women are more comfortable talking to our friends about sex when things are going wrong and not when things are going right? I wish she had been calling me to tell me she had six orgasms last night, not as she was trying to figure out where the pregnancy tests were at CVS. Think about it, when it comes to pregnancy scares, we call up our friends faster than we can double tap a photo on Instagram, but when it comes to good, fulfilling, mind blowing sex, we’re a lot less likely to send a ‘I had the best sex of my life’ text the next morning.

Of course this isn’t always the case. I do have friends who tell me about the great sex they’re having, but unfortunately I’ve noticed that’s the exception not the rule.

Also, let’s be clear, I’m not saying we should Snapchat our post coital glow, we can all have our own boundaries (to all my friends out there: leave the post sex snaps at the door!), but I do think it’s important to talk about good sex. Think about all of the benefits of having these conversations. When we have them, it helps us all have a more well rounded understanding of and relationship with sex.

Here are 4 reasons we should talk about sex (baby!) with our friends:

*You’ll realize we all share similar experiences.

So many women have the same handful of questions when it comes to sex: Do I really have to pee right after? Is it common to not like certain positions? Just ask, and you’ll see we’re all so often in the same boat!

*You can learn a thing or two.

So many of my friends have admitted to not even thinking about if and why they should use lube until I started making it. Many have since told me using lube has totally changed their sex lives for the better. This makes me really happy.

*It can strengthen your relationship.

Sex is a totally natural part of life. Remember, most of us used to talk about every last detail with our besties when we were first becoming sexual. We shouldn’t let society’s stigma around sex prevent us from sharing important experiences with close friends.

*It can help de-stigmatize the conversation.

A lot of women admit that they don’t talk about the positive side of sex because, well, they don’t want to be perceived in a certain way. The more we’re open and honest about sex, even beyond our closest friends, the sooner we can change that! If you want to keep sharing about the bad stuff, please do. Worried you have an STD or something else went wrong? Speak up. But if you run into an unexpectedly endowed and gifted partner, share that, too!

So, what are you waiting for? Let’s talk about sex!

It’s 2016, and the love story of our time has moved away from Love Story and more towards Trainwreck. One night stands turn into a two-hour love stories, and what’s so bad about that? When it comes to Amy Schumer’s spot-on portrayal of love in the age of Tinder in Trainwreck, I think everyone related for a different reason, but one thing that stood out for me was her honest portray of the role of casual sex and the understanding that casual sex does not equal failure. Sure, all women are told that if you wanna keep him don’t sleep with him, at least not on the first date, but forgetting for a moment if that’s even the case, at a time when casual sex is more accessible than ever, why does it still get a bad rap? If you’re being safe, and enjoying yourself, what’s the harm in getting down with whoever, whenever?

Last week I talked to a woman who has spent years talking to young women about sex, and she revealed something to me that I found really interesting. She told me that many young single women do have casual sex, but the reality is this can never be something ‘planned.’ For most young women there is something very wrong about going out with the intention of meeting someone and having sex with them. If it happens, it happens, but it definitely wasn’t intentional.

The mini-series “The History of Sex”, which looks at how women have been educated about sex starting in the 1950’s, discusses how until somewhat recently women have been taught that sex is something only to be had once you’re married. Sex outside of marriage, was effectively thought of as a sin, and one woman even mentioned that her mother told her “Once you’re married you’ll have to start having sex, you won’t enjoy it, but it’s something you’ll have to do for your husband.” Woah! No wonder women still feel shameful about casual sex, and often even sex in general. We’ve been told for decades that sex is not a good thing, not something to be enjoyed, so in turn even at a time when causal sex is happening it’s not something being discussed openly because there is still very much a stigma attached to it.

The terrifying side effect of women not being able to fully embrace their sexuality is the increasing rates of STDs and HIV and a still very high rate of unplanned pregnancy. When women don’t feel good about being sexual, they are less likely to protect themselves. Sure, tons of single women are on the pill (many will say they’re on it to reduce PMS and manage their periods, it’s rare to get a “because I want to be able to have sex and not get pregnant”), but when it comes to condoms only 21% of single sexually active women are using them regularly. Because of that, women everywhere from all walks of life and at all stages in the game are putting their health at risk.

So what now? How do we get women to understand that they have nothing to be ashamed of? How can we help them recognize that carrying a condom is SMART not slutty? Rihanna, single for years now, belts out sex ballads to tens of thousands of fans every single night. If she can stand up for women everywhere and say YES I’m sexual, YES I have sex, and YES I enjoy it, what are we waiting for?

Illustration by the incredible Carol Rossetti

I often wonder, are women ready to talk about sexual health the way they so easily slip into conversation about other areas of wellness like oil pulling and the must-download meditation app? Last night over dinner at a New York City Fundraiser a woman at my table, upon me explaining what I do, said to me “Yeah, I mean my friend called me up yesterday, she’s going through a breakup, and I asked her what she was doing tonight and she said ‘eating and masturbating’!” This woman, as many women I meet do do, vented to me about how she wished women could just be more honest and open when it came to sex. I couldn’t agree more, and after last week, I think things are moving in the right direction.

I, like I suspect every almost-30-something woman, spend my Saturday mornings binge watching Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin on the Netflix hit show Grace & Frankie. What do I have in common with two 70-something recently divorced women you might wonder? The answer is, a lot. In the show, an incredibly hilarious, feminist comedy, Lily Tomlin plays an up-and-coming organic lubricant entrepreneur and Jane Fonda, her roommate and also ex-wife of her ex-husbands now husband, is in the works to develop a vibrator for women with arthritis. Basically, they are my spirit animals. After finishing the second season of the show last weekend, I was like damn, if these two women can get Netflix to write a show about lubricant entrepreneurism, there is no question that sexual health is IN.

But then it got better. The morning after I finished season two, Goop’s weekly email popped up in my inbox “The Sex Issue”. Wait, what?! I open the email to find out that Gwyneth Paltrow and I have so much more in common than I thought previously. Not only are we both diehard Grace & Frankie fans but we also both love organic lube?? I had to be dreaming.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully think it’s damn well time that women everywhere say YES to talking about their sexual health, but as a young woman running a condom company for the past two years, to say I saw this moment coming (at least this quickly..oh god, too many puns) is an understatement. I think what was also really critical about these movements was that, yes there have been the Lenas, Amys and Broad City girls (thank god for all of them) talking about sex in public forums for a while now, but we’ve always had to use comedy to try and break down the taboo of women and sex in order for it to be talked about. Now that’s all changing. We can be sexual, we can have serious conversations about what’s going inside us, and we can also start sexual product businesses.

So go ahead, talk about your sexual health (possibly while watching Grace & Frankie), what are you waiting for?

Dear Mark Zuckerberg,

I’m writing because you touched me when you pledged equality and acknowledged your own personal obligation to your daughter and future generations. As a young woman and a longtime Facebook user, I was impressed and humbled by your words and I thought, “Wow, he gets it. He sees the bigger picture. He sees how everything is interconnected. He knows how to connect the dots.”

Three days ago I launched my own pledge: A campaign in honor of Women’s Health Week, Get On Top, designed to get 100,000 women to pledge to practice safe sex. My personal goal? To get women everywhere taking control of their sexual health. Preventing women everywhere from the burden of unplanned pregnancy and STIs. Helping empower women to be in control of if and when they have children so they can fulfill their dreams.

Within a few hours of launching Get On Top, I got the dreaded “Your Ad is Disapproved” email in my inbox. Since founding my business, Sustain Natural, a line of sexual wellness products for women, I have unfortunately received many of these emails. I was (a little) more understanding when an ad about orgasms and lube was shut down, but an educational campaign around Safe Sex where I’m personally donating a condom for every pledge to a woman in need? Really? I just don’t understand. Beyonce’s video where she talks about taking her man to Red Lobster when he “f**ks her good” can run wild on Facebook, but not my safe sex campaign?

I tried everything. Writing out “S*X” in place of “sex” has worked in the past. This time nothing worked. As I write, days into my campaign, all my hard work and pouring over the creative to launch this project is just not allowed boosted on Facebook . As a business owner it’s painful, but as a young woman it’s upsetting.

To add insult to injury, just this morning I was invited to speak about the campaign on FoxNews (the last place I thought be down with my campaign! what a thrill!). Of course right after I was done filming, I went to put up the video on Facebook — on my own personal page, not even my business page — to show all my family and friends how proud I was of what I’d accomplished. Within hours the link was deemed “abusive content.” Why?.

I took the plunge a few years ago to associate myself with the sexual health industry, and it has been far from easy. Slut-shamed? Yes. Banned from speaking engagements? That too. But this is different. This feels so much more fundamental to me. This is about a company I consider visionary letting me down in such a deep way.

So I ask you, Mark, please consider how your platform’s rules and regulations can be changed to help women everywhere access the information, education and products they need to practice safe sex.

Meika Hollender

Co-Founder, Sustain Natural