In my internship, our task was to check and validate student status (or other attributes) by comparing actual data from the university (SIAKAD) with the data submitted to the university data reporting application, which is called Neo Feeder.

There were seven of us, and each person was responsible for a different faculty. Each faculty had around 4,000 student records, which made the process really time-consuming. At first, we didn’t realize there was an export feature on the application, so we had to compare the data manually, one by one.

When it was my turn to do the task, I thought: “What if we could export the data directly from the apps?” So I explored the Neo Feeder and found that it actually had an export feature for certain types of data, and we could export it in several file types, such as HTML, CSV, or an Excel file.

Another issue was that during the recap process, the results were often inconsistent since each person handled their own part differently, and human errors (like typos) were quite common.

So I wanted to solve this problem using an algorithm in Python. Technically, we could just compare the Excel file from Siakad with the exported Excel file from Neo Feeder. But the problem is, every time new data comes in, we would have to repeat the whole process, copying the data again or adjusting the formula for the new dataset.

By using Python in Google Colab, we only need to upload the latest data from SIAKAD and Neo Feeder, and then let the algorithm handle the rest automatically. Another advantage is that Python can process large amounts of data much faster compared to Excel, which makes it more reliable for this kind of repetitive and data-heavy task.

Solution

First, I exported the data from Neo Feeder. The exported Excel wasn’t clean, because it contained some unused rows and column names that were split into two lines. To fix this, I dropped the unnecessary rows, reset the index, and renamed the columns into a cleaner format.

# drop weird rows and reset index
neo_df = neo_df.drop(range(0, 7)).reset_index(drop=True)

# rename columns
neo_df.columns = [
    "NRP", "Nama", "Prodi", "Status"
]
neo_df = neo_df[["NRP", "Nama", "Prodi", "Status"]]
neo_df.head()

Next, I prepared the SIAKAD data by keeping only the columns I needed and renaming them with a suffix for clarity.

siakad_df = siakad_df[["nrp", "nama", "prodi", "status"]]
siakad_df = siakad_df.add_suffix("_siakad")
neo_df = neo_df.add_suffix("_neo")

Since the main task was to compare student status, I found out that SIAKAD and Neo Feeder used different labels for the same status. For example, “normal” in Neo Feeder is the same as “aktif” in SIAKAD. To handle this, I created a mapping function to normalize the status values before comparison.

status_map = {
    "normal" : "aktif",
    "tidak aktif"  : "non aktif"
}

def normalize(status):
    if isinstance(status, str):
        return status_map.get(status.lower(), status.lower())
    else:
        return status

After that, I merged the two datasets using a left join based on the student ID (NRP). This allowed me to see which records existed in SIAKAD but hadn’t been sent to Neo Feeder yet.

merged_df = pd.merge(
    siakad_df, neo_df, 
    left_on="nrp_siakad", right_on="NRM_neo", 
    how="left"
)

Then I created a function to compare the status between both systems. If the status matched, it returned “ok”. If the data didn’t exist in Neo, it returned “belum terkirim ke neo”. Otherwise, it flagged the difference.

def compare_status(row):
    if normalize(row["status_siakad"]) == normalize(row["Status_neo"]):
        return "ok"
    elif pd.isna(row["Status_neo"]):
        return "belum terkirim ke neo"
    else:
        return "status di neo: " + str(row["Status_neo"])

merged_df["result"] = merged_df.apply(compare_status, axis=1)

Finally, I exported the results to Excel for reporting. After exporting, I also used a simple Excel formula to make the recap more efficient. For example, with a formula like:

=UNIQUE(result_column_range)

This workflow made the recap much cleaner and reduced the categories into only a few clear results. Instead of manually checking thousands of rows, the script now finishes the job in just a few minutes.

Result

I didn’t need to sort the data by any column because the results automatically followed the order from the source data (SIAKAD), thanks to using a left join. As a result, the recap became much cleaner and more consistent, with only a few categories instead of many scattered results.

Challenge

While building the function to normalize student status, I encountered an error. The initial function couldn’t handle null values, which appeared because some students’ data hadn’t been sent to Neo Feeder yet, so it doesn’t have any status/null. These cases also needed to be recorded.

# normalize function before
def normalize(status):
    return status_map.get(status.lower(), status.lower())

Through this, I learned something new. In Python, null values are treated as float type, while student status values are stored as strings.

df = pd.DataFrame({
    "status": ["Aktif", "Tidak aktif", np.nan]
})

for val in df["status"]:
    print(val, type(val))
# Aktif <class 'str'>
# Tidak aktif <class 'str'>
# nan <class 'float'>

So I adjusted the function to only map string values, and left null values as they were.

Future Improvement

For future improvement, I plan to connect the workflow directly to the application’s API so that the data can be imported without storing it locally first. This would make the process more seamless and efficient by linking it straight to Google Colab. Another step forward would be automating the execution of the Colab script through the terminal, so the entire process could run with a single command without needing to manually open and run the notebook.

However, to achieve this, I would need proper API access from Neo Feeder. I’m not sure if that’s even possible :D

Disclaimer: All data, student records, and column names used in this article are dummy examples created only for documentation and illustration purposes. They do not represent real student information.

Thank you for reading 🤍

*Originally published on my main account: https://medium.com/@shabrinani/saving-my-hours-of-work-by-automating-data-checking-with-python-be05fe726dc9

Yawn — by Seventeen (Vocal Unit)

I’m crying every time I read the lyrics. And u know what? The fact that Woozi gave this song to Seungkwan while he was on his hiatus makes me cry even harder. Not only because of that, but also the reason for Seungkwan’s hiatus was because of his health condition, and while he was on that hiatus, his beloved best friend, Moonbin, died..

On one of their comeback interview, Woozi mentioned that he gave Seungkwan this song so that Seungkwan could find peace and comfort through this song. Seungkwani also mentioned that he was crying while listening to “Woozi’s version”. Because who wouldn’t?

So.. Seungkwani rarely tells his members or Carats about what he feels when he is sad or stressed. And the fact that he even took a hiatus because of his health condition, and then Monbin.. it must really hurt for him. Idk, but sometimes he said sorry to his members when he thought he ruined their mood or something. Whereas he did nothing. He often blames himself. Maybe when he took a hiatus in that year, he felt sorry for not being present and giving his best for the team activities, and he also couldn’t tell the detailed reason for his hiatus to Carats. So through this song, Woozi wanted to tell him that it’s okay to take some time. It’s okay to just be silent and not tell the whole story about his condition or feelings. Because maybe it was still so painful at that time. And Woozi wanted to tell him that he knew even if he didn’t say anything, because he is his “breath”. So he could feel what he feels. Omg how can I’m not crying;)

I have known this song since last year, actually. But I remember this song again after I had an incident, different from Seungkwani’s, but the condition was a bit similar. I can’t tell the details here hehe. But it made me feel so lost and wanna take a break for like 3–4 days. I set my phone to “do not disturb” mode and just being alone to try to understand what actually happened. Then 2 days ago, my dad came to my dorm and he told me that he misses me sksks, I’have been here and couldn’t go home for almost 1,5 months because of my internship and some activities. He knew the accident, I was a bit sad before because he didn’t say a lot when it happened. But when we met 2 days ago, he asked, “So are u ready to tell the whole story or not? It’s okay if you’re not ready yet. Maybe we can talk about it several months or even years later, when everything looks like pieces of our lives”. And I was like.. So.. he didn’t ask much because he knew that it must have hurt to tell about the details at that time? I teared up when he asked like that, and I just answered by shaking my head because I didn’t have the energy to even think about it anymore, it hurt so much.

So.. I realized that sometimes love is like that.. giving a space, but still being present.

What made me breathe
It was all filled with you
My heart is lacking without you
It’s like a hole with pain in it

Last lyrics part of Yawn

Thankyou ujii for this beautiful song. It heals me too.

So today, I was watching Seventeen Live View Concert New_ in Nagoya Japan (I wacthed at CGV Surabaya). I don’t really remember when I decided to purchase the ticket, because everyone said that it’s a bit expensive for live viewing. But the other said that it’s worth it because it’s live, and not pre-recording or such a behind-the-scenes movie. Soo… yeah, with a lot of consideration for my budget and future needs, my schedule and activities, also Seventeen’s future activities (because DK will be enlisted next year ㅠㅠ), I decided to get the ticket, and I think it’s around 2 weeks before the concert hahaha. I thought about my era too. I thought that it would be just my kpop era. Maybe later I would not be as excited as now, or I would have no time to follow their updates like now. I wanna love them for many years, but we don’t know the future:) If I am still able to enjoy their music or attend their concert, of course I will wkwkwk

I don’t know how to start this story. Emm, maybe from the day before the concert:D Yesterday after my internship I went to my friend’s house because she got in a traffic accident (but she’s okay now, alhamdulillaah). And then after that, I had to be a *little-newbie* speaker in a mini webinar to talk about AI for middle school students and teachers in Kediri, Tulungagung, and the surrounding areas. It was so fun, and I have never expected to be a speaker like that sksksk alhamdulillaah even just a small event but I’m happy to share my knowledge:D And then this morning, I had to work on my bachelor’s proposal thesis, and then I went to watch the live viewing concert in the evening. Such a packed schedule;)

However, the gojek driver who drove me for going to the venue was a caring person. He took care of my outfit because it was raining and my destination was a mall. He said he worried my outfit would be soaked, so he drove carefully, avoided the puddles, and avoided being next to the car (because the water would splash over me:D). Thankyou sir🫡

And then… at the venue. I decided to go there by myself because I was sure that I would meet the other Carats so that we could still enjoy the concert even though we didn’t know each other. And yupss, I was righttt. I met so many beautiful, kind, and fun Carats. Wahhh, we sang together, laughed, and cried together. But yeah, because the concert was in Japan, Seventeen members are Korean, the subtitle was in English (but it was delayed and sometimes we didn’t get any subtitles), and then we watched it in Indonesia skskskskks. Such a messy live viewing concert. We didn’t understand what the members said. But some of us sometimes understand Korean and Japanese, so we laughed and answered what we understood sskksksks.

What I love about being a Carat is that the fandom is so fun and funny, just like the members. And whoever our bias is, every time we look at the other members, we still appreciate them and scream loudly hahahaha, especially when Scoups appears sksksksksk, everyone in the concert venue and in the studio screamed >< Of course, our cool leader :D

Wahh, I wanna say a lot here, but suddenly I forget what I wanna write sksksksk. Ohhhh the errorrrr. Wahhh, it was sooo annoyinggggg ㅠㅠ Because what do u mean we couldn’t get DK as a drummer huhuuuu ㅠㅠ I’ve been waiting for thatttt ㅠㅠ The staff didn’t supervise the screen:(( The screen was blank right before the Rock With You huhuuu, that was such a shame:( but that’s okay, we got an amazing encore. BECAUSE WHAT DO U MEAN SONOGONG AS AN ENCORE AFTER AJU NICE???!!!??? We thought we would get never-ending Aju Nice, but we got sonogongg too ㅠㅠ Everyone jumped at the studio for the encore hahahaha it was soooo funnnnn.

And one more thing, I think the reason why only the concert in Japan is shown as a live viewing is that their Japanese songs are so beautiful:(( At first, I waited for 20 after 9-Teen, but we got Hitorijanai ㅠㅠ 20 is such a beautiful love song, but Hitorijanai hits different ㅠㅠ, especially after getting some bad day ㅠㅠ. And the other Japanese songs, IMA, Call Call, Power of Love, wahhh.. those are such beautiful songs:(( Thankyou Wooziii for making all of these beautiful songs. We miss uuu..

Talking about the song, I think one of my reasons why I can get attached to Seventeen easily is because of their lyrics. It’s just different. Every lyric has its own beautiful meaning;) But I don’t wanna talk about it that much here because it’s already very long sksksksk. Maybe later on my other article ><

Alhamdulillaah it was soo funn. Even when I went home, I got a bit creepy gojek driver because he often asked me whether I had lived here for several years and recognized all of the roads. However, Alhamdulillaah I got home safely and got so many experiences and happiness.

So.. one thing that I’ve learned from this moment is.. about myself. If I wanna go or do anything that I really want and no one at that time wants the same thing, I will just go and do it by myself. Yeah, there is a moment when something is more meaningful when I do it with my beloved family or friends. They are still my safe place, the people who make me feel grounded and supported. I’m always happier when I’m with them. But it can’t always be like that. There will be a time when I have to be on my own. When I can’t always wait for someone to accompany me to do or go somewhere. Because of course, everyone has their own life and time. So at that time, I’m truly being myself, because I have the chance to understand myself more. Meeting new people, discovering new places, being braver to ask someone ‘bout things that I don’t know, and many more. So… if there is a chance to go somewhere or do something by myself, I will take it. It’s not about not wanting to do something with my beloved people, but… maybe u should try it too, to be able to understand and love urself more before u love your beloved people fully. Because u can’t pour from an empty glass🤍

*ohh one more thing, I love how Seventeen always introduces their band, and the back dancers. Until we can recognize them too skskskks. And it was a bit sad because Joshua was not in good condition;) But he still performed amazingly, even though he sometimes lost focus and ended up singing the wrong lyrics sksks. Here are some memories from tonight🤍💎

Edited: They just renewed their contract, which means there will be more years with them, even though it’s upsetting that NEW_ is their last concert before hiatus. But I’m soo happyy. There is no forever thing, but seventeen is always trying to be forever with us.. see u OT13 ><

However, when someone asks about our position right now, such as which school we study at, where we work, what role we get in a job, etc. Especially when Eid Al-Fitr, right? >< Did u just experience it? Because Eid Al-Fitr was just 2 weeks ago :D It feels like they want us to quickly reach all of our dreams, especially our big dream. Maybe it’s just a formality among family gatherings to catch up on how each family member is doing, especially for those who rarely see each other. But.. it feels like a little forcing or even a burden.

But one day, I talked with my mom about how confused and scared I was about my future. Yeah, of course, after all of the conversation with my big family. And then my mom said,

“Why do you look so confused? Just do what u’ve planned for your future self.”

“But what about my grandma that always says — I hope you’ll be successful and get a good job right after you graduate from college, and be able to help pay for your little brother’s education? I know, that’s a prayer. I am always grateful for that. But these days, I’m thinking about how if I still can’t get there? How if I still can’t get that much paid to help pay for my little bro’s college? Because getting a good job is not always easy these days :(“

“Who forced you to do that? She said it because she doesn’t have that many good affirmation sentences to say. So she just said a prayer, even indeed it felt like a little burden for u. But we, as your parents, always believe in your process. Just step by step, and u will get there. Don’t be afraid of not being able to get there. You will get there, believe it.”

…

So what? I came to understand that they, our family, didn’t mean it in that way. And u know, when my grandma started to say the same sentence again — cause she likes repeating that same good prayer:D — then my mom said to her,

“Aamiin, of course we hope the best thing for her. But she doesn’t have to rush to help us to pay for her little brother’s college. We will try the best that we can first.”

And then my grandma answered,

“Yeah, of course, she doesn’t have to rush. I just want to pray the best for her, that’s why I said that. No need to rush.”

See? What is the power of communication? Understanding..

Everything is clear now. But what is the thing that makes it happen? The effort. The effort to explain slowly, the effort to hear, and the effort to try to understand. Just it. But I know it’s not as easy as that, is it? Don’t worry, I hope all of us can get the opportunity to have a conversation like that.

Talk about parents, wahh I think this writing will be a bit long, I remember about what my father told me. So, he has met a Gojek driver. The driver a bit old he said. I don’t know what the topic was that they were talking about, but suddenly, the driver talked about his children. He said that he felt so relieved because he managed to send his children to at least a bachelor’s degree, even though he had to work as an online motorcycle taxi driver to do it. Because the only thing he can offer his children is knowledge. And u know what is the most surprising thing? He no longer wants to interfere with his children’s decisions about where to work, what to become, or anything else. He’s okay with whatever they choose, as he has entrusted them with those decisions. They will always be his children, and he will always be proud of them.

So that’s the power of trust? He believes in his children and that they always give their best in every opportunity. It can be simplified as a sentence, for example, when someone is lost in their competition:

“It’s okay, you have given your best. That’s enough. I am proud of you.”

The two weeks I spent at home during the holiday taught me a lot and gave me the chance to talk a lot with my family. So, you guys, who are in another city far from home, as long as you have the opportunity and of course enough budget to go home, go home quickly and meet your family while u still can. If you’re not able to go home just yet, at least give them a call. They are your family. They are also just human and humans make mistakes.. So, let’s forgive each other ^^

I know that not everyone still has the chance to go home or talk to their loved ones. For those who have lost their family, my heart is with you. I hope these stories can still bring some warmth or memories to cherish. This reflection is just a reminder to hold dear the people we still have — while we still can.💛

Btw, thanks to Boo Seungkwan who gave me the topic to talk about with my father hehehe. So my father really likes Red Sparks, especially Mega. And it turned out that Boo Seungkwan is also a fan of her >< Because Boo always talk about Red Sparks in his Weverse, I also know the update of their match :D I feel like we’re connected, between me, Boo Seungkwan, Mega, and my father :D Here is the last update for the final several days ago that was a topic for me and my father.

But unfortunately, Mega is no longer in Red Sparks;)

After reading the title, which team are you in? The team that is already exhausted with all of the lovely runner topics because they always appear in fyp? Or the team that is still can’t move on from them and always playing “sudden shower”? :D I think I am the second one. (Fun fact, I am listening to Eclipse songs right now hahaha)

Okay, talk about lovely runner. I will not give you so much about my review of the drama. But, I will discuss some reasons that I have found — including my reasons — why people still can’t move on from that drama. I think it will be better if I divide those into some points. (Disclaimer: this article may contain some spoilers)

The story is light, but there are some plot twists

If you have watched the drama, maybe you will be so sad when look at the scene above. Yup, that is the first episode and Im Sol thought that Ryu Sun-Jae was just her idol and she was one of his fans. But you know what!!? At the end of the second episode, it showed that actually Im Sol was Sun-Jae’s first love in high school. It means that he kept his feelings for Im Sol alone for 15 years because Im Sol got amnesia??!! (Ohh I was crying inside)

Actually, I was a little suspicious of Sun-Jae’s reaction when he met Im Sol in high school in the first episode at the first timeline. Because he cared for her a little, but his character and expression were so cool and indifferent. Wahh, I think that’s why Byeon Woo Seok become more famous after this drama. Because he can trap us in the first episode with his acting skills.

Besides all of that, the story of this drama is light. We can enjoy it without thinking about the theory and just seeing how absurd the characters in this drama are, especially Sun-Jae himself who always tries to hide his fluttered expression so that he can always look cool in front of Im Sol. But the drama also gives a fair portion of all the scenes, including sad scenes. I love how Kim Hyeyoon acted in the sad scene, especially when she was crying. It felt so suffocating and I could feel it too. This drama made me laugh, cry, feel suffocating, and flustered at the same time. Big appreciation for all the actors👏

Some soundtracks are sung by the actors

Okay, I think this is the main reason that some people still can’t move on from this drama. This drama also tells the story of an idol, Ryu Sun-Jae, played by Byeon Woo Seok. He sings some songs that are also used for the soundtrack of the drama, such as Sudden Shower, You & I, No Fate, I’ll Be There, and Run Run. All of these songs are available on Spotify, which is the music platform that everyone uses. So we can listen to those songs often and always remind us of each scene of the drama. They won’t let us move on from them;)

I love how they won’t let us move on from the drama through music. Because some researchers have revealed that music can help evoke memories. Sudden Shower is the song that Sun-Jae makes for his first love, Im Sol. Every time this song is played, we will always remember how Sun-Jae truly loves Im Sol. So that memory will always be preserved in this song. This is like putting items into the box for long-term storage. When we need to retrieve some information, we open the ‘box’ that holds it. And the ‘box’ is this song.

Not only Eclipse songs, but there are some soundtracks that also make us can’t move on. For me, there is Star that is sung by N. Flying. Every time I hear “dallyeogago iss-eo neoege”, I always follow it with “dung dung tas dung dung tas dung tas” hahahaha (Inside jokes). It reminds me of the scene where Sun-Jae was looking for a ring to propose Im Sol.

Yeahh, maybe there are still a lot of reasons that make us unable to move on from lovely runner. But I’ve only mentioned two of them that I think are very influential and relatable to some subeom (lovely runner fandom). From this drama, I learned about how to express my feelings to someone that I love and how to treat them. And also about the fate. If someone is meant to be with you, whatever timeline you are in, you will always love them, always.

Besides that, it turns out that this drama also shows us the importance of not giving up on our lives, no matter how difficult it may be. Like Im Sol, who really wanted to end her life because of her condition — she couldn’t walk properly and had to use a wheelchair for the rest of her life. In fact, there was someone who truly loved her, Ryu Sun Jae, who saved her and always wanted her to live happily. Then Im Sol experienced it firsthand, how difficult the struggle was when she wanted to save Sun Jae from death and want him to live longer and always be happy.

Last but not least, all of lovely runner’s teams — the crew and the actors — deserve subeom’s love. Because their dedication to this drama is immense. Especially the change in the director and the crew that makes this drama more beautiful and worth to watch.

Now I still can’t watch another romcom drama. Every time I try to watch it, I stop in the middle of an episode and don’t continue it. So, I am still watching the slice-of-life genre of drama, such as hospital playlist. If you have a recommendation about slice-of-life drama, please tell me below in a comment.

Actually, I also have watched some Byeon Woo Seok’s movies and Kim Hyeyoon’s dramas. But I can forget it just in a week — even the ending of Byeon Woo Seok’s movies is sad, frustrating, and suffocating. Ahh, I have watched “Soulmate” movie and I have some thoughts about that movie. Maybe I will discuss it later in the other article (If I have the mood and the time skskskskk).

*Some people don’t really like this drama because they feel that some scenes are cringe. If some of you have the same thoughts or maybe you have another k-drama that makes you still can’t move on, please let me know and let’s share and discuss it in the comment section😊

See you👋

Being a people pleaser makes me have to think about all of that. Sometimes, it makes me have a hard time. Because I always think about “I wonder if they feel hurt or not?”, “Was I being too excessive at that time?”, “Would apologizing seem too excessive or not?” and so many more. But u know, actually, not all of that really happens. Sometimes, it is just a part of our overthinking, isn’t it? But then again, it still makes me uncomfortable. Because we surely know that feeling hurt is something that anyone never wants to feel. So, I decided to ask someone:D (He is one of my teachers)

He said, if u feel guilty about someone, maybe it’s true. Even it’s a part of your overthinking, sometimes it means that u have done something to someone that in the end makes u feel/think guilty. So.. just apologize. Apologize to that person. And one thing that he always highlights here is don’t expect any response or even forgiveness, it’s a risk of making mistakes.

Well, I’ve done it several times to different people. And, they have different responses too:D Some didn’t feel offended or there was something wrong, some apologized back, and some didn’t respond at all. But u know, even with some kind of response, I feel better and relieved because I’ve already apologized, I’ve already admitted my mistakes, and I’ve already forgiven. And one more, if we feel that someone has made a mistake and didn’t even say sorry to us, that’s their business. Whether they want to apologize or not, that’s their business. But for us, just try to forgive them. It will make us feel relieved. Trust me, it works InsyaaAllaah. Don’t too blame others, because we are also humans who are not free from mistakes.

So, being a people pleaser or deep thinker is not always bad. But, it depends on how we handle it to turn it into something positive. Never stop trying to do something good even if we are not a good person🤍

Lately, I like watching K-dramas because it feels like healing for me. I know, that sometimes the storyline is not realistic, and also the main characters are very pretty/handsome, kind, smart, and green-flag at the same time. Maybe we will not find someone as perfect as it hahaha. But at least it will raise our standards, won’t it? xixi.

Back to the main topic. Because I often watch K-dramas, my web search automatically accepts many keywords about titles, recommendations, and reviews about some K-dramas. So, my Instagram explorer recognized it and gave me some content about Korean actors/actresses. Yups, not to be missed is the news about Hyeri, Mas Jungpal, and So Hee. Of course, I’m Jungpal team in reply 1988, and after knowing about this news, I little bit regretful of not choosing team Cho Taek🥲. Like, WHY THAT QUICK AFTER BEING IN RELATIONSHIP FOR 7 YEARS;) AND HAWAIII??!! WHY HAWAIII

However, after they break up actually they have the right to have a relationship with the new person. But, IN 4 MONTHS??? I mean, that 7 years didn’t mean anything for you Mas Jungpal?? That’s enough Hyeri, you better with Gumiho ┗|｀O′|┛

Not only that, I also know the same story from my friend. Not my close friend, but I know that he also has a relationship with his girlfriend for 6–7 years. AND THEN YESTERDAY HE POSTED IN A WHATSAPP STORY THAT HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND??!!!

For that condition, I always think about the reason they do it. I mean, for more than 5 years, before they do it, do they think about the seriousness? I know, nothing wrong with this condition. But it really hurts for me to know it. In my opinion, if we are not sure enough to have a relationship with someone or are not ready yet to commit, we have to think about it more. Because it will hurt enough if you have to forget about someone that you’ve loved so much. And for that someone new, it will also hurt enough if he/she is only the transit of your love, because you don’t want to feel lonely maybe? So don’t want a relationship just because we feel lonely. Don’t make someone to fill our emptiness. Fulfill ourselves so we can love someone fully.

Whatever happens, nothing is truly wrong. U know who is the most wrong here? YES, Baek Yijin, that said congrats for Na Hee Do’s wedding, hahaha

From the middle of January until February 2024, I joined an internship in IRIS robotics team. Yeah, it was my second chance. Actually, all of the robotics teams in ITS only accept student batch 2023. But fortunately, IRIS gave me a chance as a student batch 2022 to apply portfolio, do some interviews, and learn about robotics. I didn’t be a part of their team. My journey in robotics ends here. I’ve already given everything that I could. I spent my 2 months day off to learn robotics. But it isn’t my place.

I remember when I had my last interview in their laboratory. There were some members of the electrical division that repaired their robots. Some of them listened to music that I usually listen to when I do some work. I thought that we already had the same vibes, xixi. But, yeah, back to the reality. It isn’t my place.

I have asked for a prayer from one of my teachers, Mr. Abdul Muqit. And then he gave me this verse:

وَقُلْ رَّبِّ اَدْخِلْنِيْ مُدْخَلَ صِدْقٍ وَّاَخْرِجْنِيْ مُخْرَجَ صِدْقٍ وَّاجْعَلْ لِّيْ مِنْ لَّدُنْكَ سُلْطٰنًا نَّصِيْرًا

And say, “My Lord! Grant me an honorable entrance and an honorable exit and give me a supporting authority from Yourself.” (Al-Isrā’ [17]:80)

He always gives me this verse when I ask for a prayer before an exam, college selection, competition, etc. When I succeed, he always says “Alhamdulillaah, alhamdulillaah, alhamdulillaah”. And when I failed, he gave me another verse from the Quran:

قُلِ اللّٰهُمَّ مٰلِكَ الْمُلْكِ تُؤْتِى الْمُلْكَ مَنْ تَشَاۤءُ وَتَنْزِعُ الْمُلْكَ مِمَّنْ تَشَاۤءُۖ وَتُعِزُّ مَنْ تَشَاۤءُ وَتُذِلُّ مَنْ تَشَاۤءُ ۗ بِيَدِكَ الْخَيْرُ ۗ اِنَّكَ عَلٰى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيْرٌ

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “O Allah! Lord over all authorities! You give authority to whoever You please and remove it from who You please; You honor whoever You please and disgrace who You please — all good is in Your Hands. Surely You ˹alone˺ are Most Capable of everything. (Āli ‘Imrān [3]:26)

I don’t have any reason to give up and be mad at Allaah. He gives me everything. He gives me the best things. He knows the best place and the best condition for me. It isn’t because of my efforts and my du’a. It is because He knows, He knows that all of this is for me.

And from this writing, I also wanna say thank you to all of the people who love, care, and support me even if I fail.

“Ora nak udah lebih dari cukup…”
“Ingat kata pak mukit”
“Dimasukan ditempat yang terbaik dan dikeluarkan ditempat yang terbaik”
“GK oleh nyerah nggeh”
“Ibuk selalu bersamamu”
“Tenang nduk, sudah biasa kan…”
“Ada yg gagal, ada yg berhasil…”
“Ini bukan akhir segalanya”
“Gaoleh sedih mbak rinn”
“Gapapa”
“yahhh”
“tetap semangat”
“emann eee”
“Semangat brinn, masih banyak lomba2 lain, apalagi di ITS banyak kesempatannya. Lumayann dapet pengalaman sama ilmu magang di iris”

Thank u🤍

Ah, I almost forgot what I wanna write here. Suddenly, I remember about this Instagram reels.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3XIPAaMmap/?igsh=NDZvaGd3dGN4ODBq

I have shared this reels on my Instagram story, and.. then remember about my brother. He can’t read this cause he still doesn’t have an Instagram account xixi. I don’t know why I’m already crying right now hahaha.

Why do I remember about him after watching that reels.. Emm it is because one day, when I went to a nearby grocery store, suddenly it was raining (and right now it’s also raining here, the universe supports me to write this xixi). At first, it was only drizzle. But when I was halfway to my home, suddenly it started raining heavily. Then I ran and from a different way, someone ran to me. Who’s that? Yups, he is my brother with a big umbrella that he never wants to bring cause the decoration is flowers and the color is purple. But at that time he brought it to me. I didn't expect that. I thought my clothes would be wet when I arrived at my home. Maybe it was only a little thing, but why it was mean to me? Because when I asked my mother, whether she asked to my brother to bring an umbrella for me or not. And the answer is, it’s his initiative. Even though the grocery was only near our house, he ran as fast as he could at that time.

All this time, he is an indifferent person. He rarely shows his caring to me. But all the time, I feel his caring, no matter how small it is. And he always tells me that I have to find someone who loves me the most. He never let me cry or even just feel sad. Maybe he is just a little boy. But a little boy never says “If someone hurt you, just let them go”. He is the most loving person that I know in this world. Thank u for being my brother. Hope u always stay healthy, happy, and funny all the time xixi. Love u🤍

Maybe I will write some story or writing that may be helpful or meaningful for u and me here guys. Not regularly, but hope can once a week. At this time, I don’t have any reason to write here. In my last blog, maybe I write because I want to be a blogger. But now, I realize that I love writing just for a hobby and healing. If u feel stressed or anxious, maybe u can try to write anything. Because it’s helpful for me, maybe for u too.

Thank u for reading🌻