To hide the rot that festers within.

I keep you anchored with a hopeful lie,

While I chase the ghost that said goodbye.

I think I’m clever, I think I’m free,

Woven in a web of my own treachery.

Back to the arms that left me scarred,

Thinking this time, I’ll hold the card.

I’m playing you, and I’m playing her,

In a blur of greed, I’m a wanderer.

You’re my safety, she’s my drug,

I’m digging a hole that I’ve called a rug.

But here’s the joke I’ve yet to see:

By breaking you, I’ve imprisoned me.

I’m returning to a hunter who knows my scent,

To a cycle of pain where my life is spent.

I’m not a winner for escaping your light,

I’m a coward who’s terrified of what is right.

I’ll wake up one day in her cold embrace,

Searching for a ghost of your honest face.

And the “better man” I promised to be?

He died the moment you stopped looking at me.

I’m not “improving,” I’m just fading away,

Into the person who has nothing to say.

pict from: pinterest

In the restless hum of a city that never sleeps, two souls from the same soil found a secret to keep. It started with a shared memory of home, a familiar warmth beneath the neon dome. On the eighth, our worlds aligned like a sacred sign, a loop of infinity where your heart met mine. We climbed until the air grew thin and sweet, reaching a peak where happiness felt complete, weaving promises into the fabric of the stars, thinking no distance could ever leave us with scars. But the summit grew cold, and the path split in two; one found a finish line, while the other still looked for you. A heavy silence fell where laughter used to dwell, as one walked away from the story we had to tell. You wore a mask of sunlight, so radiant and bold, while underneath, a shivering heart was growing old. I watched your plastic smiles and your hollow grace, while I nursed the shadows in our empty space. We were both liars in a theater of pain, hiding the same longing, dancing in the same rain. Did guilt burn? Did the sincerity ache? Yes, like a fever that no medicine could break. But an infinity loop has no end and no start; it always pulls back the pieces of a fractured heart. The masks finally shattered, the pretenses fell away, revealing the truth we were too proud to say. The promises we left hanging in the gray, chilly air, found their way home to the hands of a prayer. Now we stand where the circle began to mend, two souls from one city whose love has no end. On this eighth, we learn what infinity is for: it’s the way back to you, through every closed door.

pict from: pinterest

So I remain in this quiet room of mine,

Where silence is the only language I speak.

Tracing the patterns of a broken design,

Searching for strength when I feel so weak.

I look at the world with eyes full of glass,

Watching the shadows of those I once healed.

They take what they want and they simply pass,

Leaving me hollow in an empty field.

Is this the price for a soul that is soft?

To be the anchor while everyone flies?

I held their heavy expectations aloft,

Only to watch my own sun cease to rise.

Yet, in this stillness, a truth starts to wake,

That my worth is not measured by what they return.

For every promise they chose to break,

There is a fire they can never quite burn.

I choose to be silent, not because I am gone,

But because my words are too sacred for stone.

I’ll wait for the mist and the grey of the dawn,

To find a kindness that I can call my own.

pict from: pinterest

This flickering conviction in my heart – should I defy it or follow its lead?

Everything feels suspended, floating in my chest; held back by my eyes, told to remain still by my silence.

With all that I know and all that I’ve heard, why am I still held captive at this very point?

In this state of limbo, which current is carrying me away? I am lost.

Is there anything to guide me, other than a vision I cannot yet embrace?

Why does that image whisper the same recurring truth?

Love? A return? Should I believe that this is “the process”?

It feels less like a delay and perhaps more like the truth.

I gaze at the sky and the leaves by the window; I am close, yet something feels worlds away.

The blue, the green – my eyes see them all, so why does the heart waver?

And those clear droplets still fall… why is my face never dry?

I am lost. I simply do not know.

Is there anything I am meant to understand?